Chapter 8

Utterly oblivious to the troubles of those old enough to have to dance, the Musical Marauders did their own thing, which sometimes involved winding up older ones by assuming dippy expressions and grabbing each other to whirl around in parodies of waltzes – accompanied by enchanted feet or plain old fashioned whistling.

They became very adept at sashaying out of the way of stinging hexes.

They escaped when they could to go for walks outside in the crisp snow. And they were wandering along, now and then pausing to throw themselves into nice crisp vistas of snow from which to rise carefully to see how good an impression of their bodies they had made, as a reverse sculpture, when half a dozen rough looking men came out of the forest.

"Hey! You kids! We're looking for a kid named Zoltan!" one of them said.

"Why?" asked Sigismund before Zoltan could answer.

"That's none of your business kid; unless you're Zoltan" growled the man. "Reddish hair she say; well that's three – four of you".

"I'm Zoltan" said Bronislava brightly.

He backhanded her casually so she fell.

The boys started towards him but he levelled a goblin made pistol; and so did the others.

"Back off" he said.

"You so are SUCH a bully to hit a little girl!" cried Zoltan "And we WILL tell Madam Bacsó about you!"

"Well you might; but we'll be long gone" said the man. "Now, let's cut the crap; is one of you Zoltan and if so, which one?"

His eyes flicked between Zoltan, Sigismund, Beremud and Coreliu, all of whom could be loosely described as having reddish hair; from the dark auburn of Beremud, through Zoltan's own Titian locks, Sigismund's chestnut hair and Corneliu's reddish blonde.

"I'm Zoltan" said Sigismund.

"No I'm Zoltan" said Corneliu.

"I'm Zoltan and I dyed my hair" said Beryx

"I'm Zoltan" said Zoltan

"I'm Zoltan" said Beremud

"And I'm Zoltan but I used a colour change charm" said Lindhard.

"You kids think you're smart" snarled the man "Well let me give you another choice. The real Zoltan can step forward or the girl gets it" and he pointed his gun at Bronislava.

Bronislava gasped; then a look of revelation came over her face.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" she cried.

The pistol flew from his hand.

Six other young voices echoed her shout; and then seven wands came out. The men went for their own wands.

Corneliu started chanting; the chant that was the area of effect shield charm as he moved forward to cover Bronislava in it. She rolled back towards the boys.

The children may not have known many offensive spells but they DID know levicorpus; and that they might use the disarming spell again on wands; and that slugs pouring out of the mouth would stop most people casting spells. Bronislava ran to collect all the wands as several loud CRAC noises heralded the arrival of reinforcements.

It was in fact the collective school blood group.

"They wanted me for something, Papa" said Zoltan "Bronislava was SO brave!"

"She's a good girl" said Attila. "You shall tell me all about it…. Clovis, Cacilia, Zhanargul, Takeo, as adults witness please what has been done to this child's face before I heal it; it looks like a broken cheek bone."

Four wands checked.

Four heads nodded in fury. And Attila levelled his own wand at Bronislava and healed it; concentrated absently and there was an audible CRACK, Bronislava gasped and then put her hand to her face in wonder.

"By the Powers sir, I didn't realise it wasn't supposed to hurt to talk!" she said.

"Your father is a bestial piece of dung" said Attila "And one day I'm going to tell him so" he glowered on the prisoners on whom the Asimov twins had dropped bindings, the tickling curse and the bat bogey hex to add to their misery. "And so are these swine. You students may port them back to the school as you see fit; the head is going to have something to say about this and so are the Vehmgerichten. Come, children!" he waved the youngest in.

Two other layers of marauders and the supporting group thoughtfully regarded the six miscreants.

"Can't leave them here" said Zlatko "They make the place look untidy especially the one with dirty underwear. The unicorns don't like it untidy; and nor do the centaurs."

"The centaurs might use them for target practise" said Zlatka.

"They prefer moving targets" said Zhanargul "I suppose we might put some kind of moving charm on them akin to that on a snitch to flutter about….. no actually the mind boggles and we don't want boggled centaurs. Let's let the third years practise locomotor charms on them."

Elfleda, Leva, Sophie and Kjell grinned wickedly. They could manage jerky motion a bit at a time with the odd 'accidental' rotation accompanied with a loud 'oops!' It was more than slugs that the miscreants were vomiting by the time they got to the castle especially one that Kjell was giving attention to that he dragged under an overhanging branch to precipitate snow inside his victim's turned back robes. Axel and Zyrillis took the leader and the one that looked to back him; and Axel dragged the leader scarily close to the raging Gerhardt. The stone snowman lashed out and gnashed his stone teeth satisfactorily. Zyrillis managed to get his snagged accidentally on purpose on a bronze statue of a stag. He was not gentle about disentangling him. And since they had finished vomiting slugs and were using some rather naughty words between heaving, the children thoughtfully placed a saponify spell in their dirty mouths to wash them out; as Sofie sweetly explained.

The six would-be abductors were a sorry crew by the time Agata came out of the castle to find out why delivering them took so long.

On due consideration, because they were dirty objects, she told the children to leave them outside and away from any main windows since nice children would not want to see such disreputable objects hanging about.

"Did you want the ZH Dark Arts class to use them to practise curses on, Frau Professor?" asked Zhanargul politely "Only if it is so permitted I should like to book one; my cruciatus curse is a little dodgy and too I wish to practise the personal boggart curse and the death dancing curse. And Takeo here should really practise the entrail expelling curse and the Jade Wolf curse too."

"I'm sorry my dear, but you know you are only permitted to practice on convicts" said Agata "And they haven't been convicted yet; still you may have an opportunity before your exams."

"We could sort of just keep them and not tell the authorities perhaps?" said Takeo, eyeing them speculatively.

"I suppose if they won't make a full confession it might be the easiest way to deal with them" said Agata thoughtfully. "So long as you don't leave a mess."

"It's what the Vanishing spell is for Ma'am" said Zhanargul.

"Mweeel dtorg!" managed one through soap.

"O damn!" said Zhanargul sounding disappointed. "Ah well!"

oOoOo

"The death dancing curse and the Jade Wolf curse?" asked Takeo "Have I missed something?"

"Not at all" said Zhanargul calmly "I was making them up as I went along for maximum effect; they'll come across with the whole truth like songbirds now."

They did.

They also begged the Vehmgerichten who came to collect them to take them to safety in gaol away from these terrible children.

As Agata was grinning when they did this, the chief Vehmgericht raised a quizzical eyebrow and Agata murmured

"I don't know WHAT rubbish the children read but it appears to give them melodramatic imaginations that leads them to invent wild and terrible sounding dark curses. And have enough sense not to over-embellish and leave it up to these creature's imaginations; that I wager are darker for real than any of my dramatists!"

oOoOo

The six ruffians had been paid by a Hungarian lady to kidnap a little boy called Zoltan and bring him to her, unharmed; and if there were any other boys who looked at all like him she was not bothered what happened to them. She had given them her name and address to send an owl to when they had the boy.

Nora Nagy was in trouble.

And even if she managed some loophole of law that permitted her to get off since she might claim she could not be charged with kidnap of her own son it was a rash act that had caused actual bodily harm to another child – Bronislava – and Attila now had the ammunition of child endangerment to add to his divorce suit and plaint to have sole custody of Zoltan.

The Vehmgericht, a middle aged man of many scars, came to ask Attila if the little girl who had been hurt was Zoltan's sister.

Attila blinked.

"I know I've got about in the time of my once-only consummated marriage – that's Zoltan – but not as far as Czechoslovakia. I can't stand women who let their men hit children about so I'd hardly have been likely to find the child's mother terribly appetising anyway. What gave you such an idea?"

"Because, Herr Nagy, your wife said, when charged with causing a child actual bodily harm, that at least she'd hurt you by hurting your bastard" said the Vehmgericht.

"Well that's slander of Bronislava's mother for a start" said Attila. "besides, SHE is hardly the half BROTHER Zoltan has mentioned, is she? How like Nora to leap to conclusions! My other son stood ready to defend his brother and was foremost in those who neutralised the attackers; though I doubt any of the others were far behind. They're a good little bunch."

"And only twelve and eleven years old? Such fortitude!"

"Foolhardiness more like" said Attila "Think they're Harry Potter at that age. Mind, once that clever child Bronislava realised that as pistols were weapons she could use the disarming charm they had the beggars at a disadvantage; and Corneliu is a very good chanter to hold the shield charm over all of them so all the others had to do was to jinx them."

"He knows the shield charm? So young?"

"We had an English teacher of the dark arts for a year – Nefrita Von Strang" said Attila "Who pointed out that in England it is considered proper in the best families for it to be the first spell taught, wordlessly and wandlessly the moment a child manifests magic. I can't say that I consider that a bad custom."

"These English are extraordinary!" marvelled the Vehmgericht.

oOoOo

Nora Nagy wrote an impassioned letter to her son begging him to understand that she had only done it for him, because she could not bear to be separated any longer, knowing that he was being brainwashed by his father.

Zoltan had got over feeling betrayed, hurt and angry; and had moved onto disgust and contempt. Which was rather made clear when he wrote,

"Madam,

now I have escaped the cloying brainwashing influence of the female who claims to have birthed me – though in light of your many lies I cannot even be sure of that – I am free to pursue my own life; and I cannot see how you can claim having my friends and me threatened to be in any way an act of love. You do not know what the word means. You are as bad a parent as Bronislava's violent father; and though she is used to such level of violence it is no excuse that you have caused her a broken cheekbone. And you are too much of a coward to do your own dirty work but hired minions, thugs of the gutter, who were ready to shoot us one by one until one of us turned out to be the child he sought. How baffled they were when we all – including Broni – claimed to be Zoltan! If I were not so angry that my friend was hurt I should laugh at your inept attempts to be a dark witch; Herr Professor Gierek is quite correct when he says that dark wizards and witches are snivelling little inadequates. I want nothing more to do with you; if I receive any other communications from you, Frau Nagy, I will burn them unopened, now or when you get out of Nurmengard."

He signed it 'Z. Nagy'.

He then went to see Cacilia.

"Please, Professor, I rather think I should like a cuddle and a spare mama" he said.

Cacilia lifted him, big boy as he was, onto her lap for a cuddle; and he burrowed.

"Your father said that it was wrong to intercept the letter to you; was he correct?" asked Cacilia.

"He was" said Zoltan "It is the final thing that shows me how little she is to do with me, that she could claim to have those awful men kidnap me because she loved me; especially if I was the wimp she thinks me, the scared child I was before Sigismund taught me how to find my courage. I would have been terrified, and too upset that they had hurt and threatened my friends even if nobody had got worse hurt. If we weren't Marauders and in the ECC we shouldn't have known how to fight them; any other group in my class would have been at their mercy. She really does not care for anyone but herself; and by the way this is so nice and much more mumsy than the strokings and caresses she used to give me whilst telling me not to crumple her gown. Am I going to have any little brothers and sisters?"

Cacilia blinked over a lot in that little speech.

"Brothers and sisters? Eventually yes; we hadn't got as far as making them yet" she said "I was hoping to have children though if you'd like that."

"I'll be too old to take care of them in school" said Zoltan, thoughtfully "When I'm in the sixth I must pick a promising Marauder type of fag who'll see them all right."

"That's very sensible and far sighted" said Cacilia, managing not to laugh over plans for siblings not even yet conceived. Poor little boy that a simple cuddle was more mumsy than anything he had known! WHAT a bitch Nora was!

She fed him milk and biscuits and suggested he did his homework in her room; which meant she had all seven marauders doing their homework in her room which was a squash but fairly convivial and ended with a hilarious game of exploding snap when they were all done.

She shooed them off to bed and went to find Attila.

"Come to my room" she said "Zoltan has put in an order for siblings; it would be a shame to disappoint him."

Attila gasped.

"Truly? You are ready to go further?"

"Attila you drive me insane with passion and light a fire in my belly" said Cacilia.

He glanced over his shoulder to see that they were not overlooked; and kissed her, hard. Cacilia moved against him, reaching her arms around him.

He pulled away.

"I will be ten minutes" he said. "I will want a dressing gown; it's perishing cold going to the bathroom without."

"Darling we ARE an old married couple; that you can manage practicality as well as passion" murmured Cacilia.

"Well if you WANT it to freeze solid and drop off….."

She grinned.

"It won't half make a loud noise when it hits the floor!"

He spanked her.

"Go and get ready for me, you minx!"

If Cacilia was nervous her nerves evaporated under his kisses and caresses; and they loved urgently.

And Zoltan slid out of his bed to break bounds to ask Sigismund,

"Am I imagining it or has Papa finally got it on with Mama Cacilia?"

"No you're not; now shut up and go back to bed" said Sigismund.

Attila was not as yet as used to blocking as some of the group; and all the blood group at least knew exactly why neither Professor Nagy nor Professor Von Freyer did not turn up for breakfast.

OoOoO

Sigismund and Zoltan went to the kitchen and made nice to the elves to lay up a double breakfast tray; and went to knock on Cacilia's door and marched in with breakfast and a couple of blue rosettes which the happy couple might take any way they liked; and reminded them that lessons started in half an hour so they better not get any ideas when dipping their soldiers.

This was Sigismund's offering and had Attila roaring 'WHELP!' at him as they made a hasty retreat.

"I should think that if we've been awarded a prize it means they are pleased with us at least" said Cacilia, blushing. "I HOPE it doesn't mean we leaked enough emotion to be marked on performance."

Attila actually blushed!

oOoOo

The first transfigurations class was with the lower sixth and Zlatko passed Attila a bundle of papers.

"I asked for a test paper in your name sir; I thought you might find it less tiring" he said.

"HOW much leakage was there?" demanded Attila.

"Only enough to know what was going on and not to be surprised you're looking tired sir" said Zlatko.

"Hmmm, well, thoughtful of you" said Attila; and proceeded to hand out the test.

oOoOo

Cacilia was fortunate enough to be teaching third years who were not cheeky enough, the four who were blooded, to make any comment; even if she had passed Zyrillis of the fourth whistling something that sounded like a version of 'come and stir my cauldron hard'. One had to expect schoolchildren to be a little inclined to comment; and to notice, even without being blood bonded. And Zyrillis was.

Cacilia asked Xanthe and Xanthippe in a later class,

"All right, how much backwash was there?"

"Some" said Xanthe

"Not a huge amount" said Xanthippe "Except at first."

"Well it was enough to make us feel all sort of nice in the tummy and to think about Zlatko" said Xanthe with devastating honesty.

Cacilia burned.

"Embarrassing for the boys" she muttered.

"Oh no" said Xanthippe "They're just pleased you finally got around to it instead of dripping sexual tension all over the place."

"My twin got tact left out when they were ladling it around" said Xanthe.

"I expect I'll live with it" sighed Cacilia "Thank you for your frankness."

"Well it kind of helps us learn what needs most blocking on" said Xanthe "When we finally do Zlatko."

It was no cheek from the Eulenspiegels; they were just like that.

oOoOo

The body of the school was generally speaking either too young or too taken up with their own romantic highs and lows to notice the relationship between two teachers; and those with the initiative to notice had, generally, been swept into the blood group by Jade in any case and so acquired their information by more direct sources; and politely kept their noses out of the business of their bloodkin.

As for the staff, the loud quarrels that Cacilia and Attila had been indulging in by means of their own brand of foreplay had been enough to convince most that the two actually disliked each other intensely. Apart from the two blooded, it may be said that Agata Bacsó knew full well that Attila was smitten – she having once been his lover and being inclined herself to bicker with him for fun – and wished him and Cacilia well; and Orlando Carcano, who was nobody's fool chuckled to himself when Helois Fabeln commented that at least Attila seemed to be behaving himself a little better and had stopped picking on Cacilia for some perverse reason of his own, probably that she was so much better born than him and German into the bargain.

"I think you might have noticed that Cacilia gives as good as she gets, Helois" said Orlando. Professor Fabeln shrugged.

"Oh I grant you she is as crossgrained in her own way as he is; but she has the right for being born to it; though one does wonder why a girl of her background should wish to teach."

"Perchance" said Orlando dryly "She enjoys it and feels it a calling."

"I doubt she'll be permitted such foolishness long" said Frau Fabeln – who was Frau of courtesy not fact being an acidulated old maid – "Since doubtless her parents will arrange a suitable marriage for her and insist she gives up teaching. I can't see why anyone would teach when they are rich enough not to have to."

"Ah, Helois, and that is why your students only ever achieve mediocre grades and those from those of us who teach because we enjoy it get a generally higher grade from our students" said Orlando.

This was undoubtedly true; occasional history students achieved an 'E' at best even at ZP; whereas Orlando had students who gained 'O' grades even at ZH. Cacilia had not been one of them – she got 'E' – because she had had a little trouble with her re'em in the practical. However as Nefrita Von Strang had got an 'O' in Cacilia's year, and so too had Baard Trollkettil the year following them, last year, he might well boast. Helois Fabeln flushed angrily, achieved a flounce and set to marking work with unnecessary vigour, grimacing as she bent the point of her pen.

Orlando thought her an idiot.

If either Sigismund or Zoltan had any interest in History he would see to having them given coaching by a Prince Peak teacher in the holidays. Who would doubtless teach in three weeks what Fabeln failed to teach in as many years.

In addition to the tribulations of the ball, students had the equal tribulation of end of term tests; the which the marauders all took in their stride, knowing full well that they were well ahead for a selection of illicit library work and asking questions of their various elders.

Attila, Cacilia and Panayot became quite resigned to fifth formers, and even some third years – and the occasional junior – writing blithely about Assimilative Correlation, or quoting Golapott's third law or discussing Waffling's principle of Extrinsic Alteration and its relationship with Assimilative locomotion by precision. As the last ZH level concept had come from the pen of second year Beremud, Panayot sighed and murmured vaguely that he wished the ECC would not teach QUITE such advanced theory to the little ones.

"The ECC doesn't teach any theory to any of the kids" said Cacilia "The Shield Charm is a practical lesson; and well worth it I'd say."

"Then WHO has been infesting Beremud Gerecht with the use of Assimilative Locomotion by Precision in relation to Extrinsic Alteration?" asked Panayot.

"I haven't a clue; it's beyond where I went" said Cacilia. "Assimilative Locomotion by precision? Is that a form of naming magic to aid with locomotor charms?"

"More or less" said Panayot "It's one of Waffling's uses of Emeric Switch, using similar principles to Assimilative Correlation. Extrinsic Alteration is nothing more than the term expected to be known for the whole principle of charms – that a charm is a spell which causes something to act in an unnatural way or for an effect to occur that is not going to happen without the input of the magical power of the caster; all magic is a form of Extrinsic Alteration at bottom. And although it is USED throughout the school, like some of the other more esoteric terms we expect the sixth to learn it isn't taught with its definition before the sixth."

"As I recall" said Attila, looking up "Beremud was having problems with his charms practicals; I expect he asked someone like Zlatko for help. And if you ask me, Beremud is a child who actually WILL perform better if he knows the proper name for something rather than being oppressed by it as most are; which is why we DON'T teach them before the sixth. I had that group trying to remember the term they had heard – which was Assimilative Correlation – last year after they came upon it looking up – as I recall –how to turn a girl in their class into a cabbage. They may not have remembered the words exactly but they got the context right" he added dryly.

"He has actually been performing better in class now you mention it" said Panayot. "Dear me! I should normally have thought it would make a student who was a little slow LESS well able to perform; I applaud Zlatko – I'm sure you're right in guessing it to be him – for taking a bold and correct decision. Well, well!"

"I better not mention that Sigismund quoted Gamp" Attila murmured to Cacilia.

oOoOo

Sigismund might have remembered Gamp – quite unnecessarily, as his father wrote on his test paper – but Everilda Widder, who reckoned herself one of the best in the class at Transfigurations, had forgotten all of Gamp's exceptions and could only remember that there were five of them. It was a new concept the upper sixth were struggling with to come to terms with the Law of Elemental Conjuration and its exceptions; and Everilda was determinedly unimpressed with the concept that bunnies were – ultimately – made of sunlight, a simplification that Attila had borrowed from Jade. It was an explanation to cover why objects, especially animate creatures, were hard to conjure because of the amount of energy required to make them; and why, without some very fancy enchantment, such conjured items disappeared after a while, not holding enough energy to last permanently. Everilda obstinately refused to accept that energy and matter were essentially the same; even when Attila told her in exasperation that this was a principle even muggles accepted to manipulate with their technology. Or maybe she refused to accept the principle because muggles also used it. She learned the law and its exceptions without an iota of understanding which is why, in the test, she promptly forgot it again.

As a result her test result was poor; only an 'A' since Attila was testing the understanding of Gamp quite thoroughly in this exam to see who had understood and who had not.

As Saula had too declared it a lovely easy paper and had got an 'O' for it this added insult to injury in Everilda's eyes since a German girl of near pure blood – even if not a very high social status – ought not to be outdone by some barbarian from the back of beyond, who was besides only the servant of her barbarian princess.

The concept of a lady in waiting had also rather passed Everilda by and Saula just ignored her jibes with the dignity of one who knew her own worth Hence, when Everilda was brushed passed by Melior Gdylan who was – to her mind – from the same stinking desert flea pit as Saula she chose to take the touch of his sleeve on hers as an insult and let fly with her wand on the gentle Melior. She avoided the cruciatus curse; she might be angry but she was not so foolish as to expose herself to expulsion as Erzebet Czerny had done the previous year. She was however very free with the stinging hex and burning hexes.

Fortunately for Melior, his lady's other fag, Felicks Knapp was also on an errand for Desolina Uccello and had dragged Zoltan along to talk about the really nasty arpeggio in the piece they were practising.

The two juniors wasted no time.

Felicks fired off expelliarmus which he had learned in the ECC; and Zoltan recalled the spell the Asimov twins had used on the would-be kidnappers and cried

"incarcerous!" in his clear treble voice. Purple ropes wrapped Everilda. Zoltan followed up with "Levicorpus!" he considered for a moment and added "titillando!" and left it to Felicks to add the slug vomiting curse when Everilda started calling them unpleasant names.

"Consider that what will happen any time you start bullying one of us" said Zoltan "WHY did she do this, Gdylan?"

"She said I barged her; I never did!" said Melior "I guess I touched her in passing; she has wide sleeves and she was rather hogging the passage instead of keeping to the right like you're supposed to. She's dead nasty!"

"Well I guess if she has that nasty a temper sooner or later when she's left school she'll run into someone who makes her nasty, dead" said Zoltan, shrugging. "Any time you want to apologise to Gdylan, Widder, you can just twitch the hand you have mostly out of the ropes; otherwise we're going to leave you there hung up like a spider's lunch. Had to ask" he added as Everilda spat out a slug and called him a vile name. "Oh well; I have better things to do; hope you get a dose of humanity while you're hanging around."

"HOW you dare talk to a sixer like that!" whispered Felicks when they were out of earshot.

"Because she's in the wrong; and if she reports me, I'll ask which fiction she told" said Zoltan. "I am NOT impressed by grown ups and nearly grown ups acting like spoilt brats; and I don't see why any of us kids should have to take being bullied. That's why I'm a marauder; I'm one who fights back and actually I'm going to make an unofficial report to the head girl and so are you Gdylan so she can hear what she did to you."

"SHE said I was a nasty uncouth barbarian like my stinking countrywoman who was only a servant to a filthy camel riding bitch with fleas" said Melior. "I don't know what she was talking about; I'm not a barbarian like these half baked gothic westerners and my only countryman is my sister and she's a cow but I'd still rather have her than that thing."

"Well I suggest you tell Zhanargul that too" said Zoltan who managed to unravel what Everilda DID mean; as would Zhanargul.

He had made an enemy; but she'd be leaving after ZHs and likely too busy studying to take any serious revenge – or if she was not, she was even more of a fool than he took her for. And after she had left it was unlikely that he would ever meet her again.

Zoltan felt too happy in his life to let some silly female disturb it; his papa had found him an excellent stepmama and he had been assured that his grades were good enough to go into the second after Yule, because he had asked to sit the second's exam as well as his own.

So sucks to her, on sour lemons.