Ok, thank you all for your reviews. I know some of you thought the last chapter was too predictable while others didn't I guess that is the way of it though. This chapter isn't going to be predictable at least in my mind. Try not to get frustrated I am making a point.

I am starting to slow the pace of updates not on purpose, I just get sidetracked spending time with my husband and daughter, but I will try to at least post two chapters a week.

Once again SM owns Twilight and its characters I just own my ideas.

Bella POV

I heard that beautiful familiar voice and it slowly pulled me out of the darkness I was drowning in. Once I reached the surface and could see clearly, my body did what it could to protect my fragile heart, and I gave into the weakness of my body and slept. I could feel the familiar embrace that I had ached for, for such a long time, and that velvety voice that just repeated "Bella love it will alright, I love you, I am here and I will never leave you again." I felt that this must be a dream because as much as I knew what the words meant, I knew they weren't true.

He didn't love me he told me that himself, and he did leave me and I was so alone for so long. Jake had saved me from my loneliness.

Then I remembered, the feeling as the world changed when Cheyenne's and Jacob's eyes had met, I felt his love for me, the love that held all of my fragile pieces together vanish, and in slow motion the pieces fell in a heap like unrecognizable shards of the most fragile glass. I remembered that was when I was thrown into the pool of darkness to drown, and I wanted to die in the darkness but that voice, it was a light, and just at the sound of it I could feel my glass pieces shutter and try to reassemble but I knew then that his words were not enough.

I was awake, but the feeling of the cold embrace I remembered in my dream didn't vanish, and the voice was still there just as strong. I really wanted this to be real but I was terrified to open my eyes and find the emptiness that my life had once again become. I dug deep and with everything I had I opened my eyes. and what I saw made the heat flash through my body like a fire, and I gasped "Edward?"

"Yes Bella it is me, I am here." His voice cooed these words and I had never felt more secure in my life. This feeling however didn't last long enough, instead the heat flashed through me once again with an unclaimed fury, and I felt the anger and pain rise like a tidal wave as it washed me over completely.

I jumped up with a fury I had never know before, "What the fuck, what are you doing here? Come to gloat in my face, cause me more pain? Come to see the pathetic human, and bask in the fact that nobody loves her, that she in unlovable?" I knew my anger was misplaced but I couldn't hold it back. I truly didn't know what had gotten into me.

Edward jumped up and looked as though I had kicked him in the balls, "What, why would you think that? I don't want you to be in pain, I don't want to hurt you I never wanted that, and I do love you I always have and always will. Don't you see?"

I heard Jake and Cheyenne stir from behind me but I didn't care, caring and kind Bella had taken a min-vacation and now angry vengeful Bella was on the loose. "WORDS, ALL OF THEM JUST WORDS, FIRST YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME, THEN YOUR BROTHER TRIES TO EAT ME, AND AFTER THAT YOU SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME, AND NOW THAT I AM ALONE ONCE MORE YOU LOVE ME ALL OF A SUDDEN.....BULLSHIT!.........DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MORON TO YOU?"

Jacob was now standing next to a stunned Edward looking at me like I had grown another complete head. "Bells, honey calm down. We all should sit and talk, it's going to be alright." I scoffed at that, and Jacob returned to Cheyenne and was holding here like he wanted to protect her from me HA.

"CALM DOWN, YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN JACOB BLACK? NOW THAT I KNOW THAT I WAS JUST A STAND-IN, YOU WANT TO PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IS NO BIG DEAL? I WAS WILLING TO TRY WITH YOU JAKE, AND LOOK WHAT I GET. YOU LEFT ME JUST LIKE HE DID." I turned and glared at Edward with my final remark.

My anger started to subside and the guilt came pouring in, I know I shouldn't have talked to them like that but did it make my words any less true? No, it didn't I was hurt, and angry. I didn't know if I would survive this, not this time. The familiar ache inside had turned into a blazing inferno, if I didn't know better I would have thought I had taken a cannonball to my torso the pain was so large an unending.

Edward seemed to suddenly realize that he was indestructible and walked over to me and guided me to sit on my bed, I was too tired to fight this time so I sat. For the first time I looked into his eyes and in them I saw the pain and guilt, and I knew he was hurting too. "Bella, I am so sorry!! I don't know what to do to make up for what I have done. As much as I despise the dog this isn't his fault it is mine so, blame me I destroyed you, and I will live with that for all of eternity."

Jacob walked over and shook his head at Edward, "No it is my fault too. I should have known better, but yet I put her in the position to fall again." I couldn't truly believe what was going on, they were actually arguing over who was to blame for my pain. If I had been completely honest with myself I would have known it wasn't either of their faults, it was mine I always knew better but I placed myself in harms way.

I turned around and stared blankly around my room, my gaze fell upon my frightened roommate, and I felt so bad for the position I had put her in, "Cheyenne...I am so sorry, I know this must be impossible for you, and I am so sorry that I put you in this position." I could barely whisper the words, my angry rant left my throat dry and coarse.

"Bella, I don't think that this is your fault, but I can't really elaborate further I'm still not convinced that this is all really happening." Her voice shook, and Jake held her into his chest. I knew that it would be fine for her, a guy like Jake would make all the fear go away with ease. I felt saddened because I knew my sun had moved on to another who would be warmed by him. Lucky girl.

Edward was still staring desperately up at me from his knees, and I knew I couldn't allow him to be in pain. "Edward, I'm sorry...I'm not going to say I didn't mean what I said, but I shouldn't have hurt you by saying it, and I want you to know something even though telling you puts my heart in greater risk. I love you, I always have, and I always will. My love is yours, but I'm not ready for it to be like it was before...we have to start over. I don't know if I can believe your words because obviously you have lied to me whether about loving me or about not loving me, whichever is still too much for me to bear. To me it makes more sense that you don't love me, so to believe that you do is almost an impossibility, but I want it to be true so I dare to allow my hope to seep through my logic."

I knew that I was babbling but I needed him to know what was going on in my mind since he couldn't see it himself. "Bella, I do love you, and I promised not to leave you ever again, so I will be here everyday proving to you that my heart is yours, maybe someday I can earn your trust, and maybe even win you back entirely. I want you to know that this time it is going to be different, I can't push you out of my life, and I am willing to give you whatever you ask of me, because my love for you overshadows the logic of keeping you safe."

I felt the hope inside of me burn brighter at his words, the hope to be his for all eternity the only thing I had ever wanted. "Whatever I ask, no matter what?"

I saw the pain and despair in his eyes, and my hope waned, but then he spoke the words I never thought I would hear. "Yes, even that, I can't exist without you so everything I have to offer is yours and I do mean everything."

I felt all of my shattered pieces start to fit back together like a puzzle, but angry Bella spoke up in the back of my mind. "Don't give in that easily, he has made promises before and broken those, are you stupid, remember that actions speak louder than words" I shook my head knowing that as crazy as angry Bella was, she was right I couldn't give in too easily.

"Edward like I said before this is all just words, and your words have been lies before, you know what they say about actions over words. I can't just blindly believe you, I need to be shown." I was speaking as calmly as I could but angry Bella was pushing against me.

"I'll do what it is that you want right now if that is what you mean, but not here for obvious reasons." His expression wasn't angry or pained like I would have expected. I laughed once at his total misunderstanding of my meaning. "No, Edward that's now what I meant. I can't allow for you to do that if I don't trust that your feelings are real, I need to know that you truly are mine for all of eternity before that happens, and I need to understand why...why you did what you did." I looked into his golden stare and felt the familiar dizziness taking over.

"Well, then you want proof that I am yours and you want answers I will give them to you, and I have a plan for that. It will take some time but if you allow it you will know that my words are true." His eyes smoldered and I saw something unfamiliar in them, and it made me shudder with an intense need.

"Ok I will let you do what you need to prove yourself, but we aren't going to be back to the way we were until I have the proof, you aren't staying here with me, and I would appreciate you not hanging around in the tree outside my room, give me space, and respect my wishes, and I think we will find our way back... hopefully." I finished with sadness in my voice, we would be together unless he truly didn't love me. "How did you know I was in the tree outside?" His voice full of surprise. I shook my head, "I didn't it was just my way of asking you to keep your distance, you were in the tree?....go figure."

I had all but forgotten that Jacob was still there until I heard his voice boom, "Wait!! All this talk about eternity, and giving Bella whatever she wants, even "that"...you don't mean, no no you can't mean. I won't let you do that to her, don't you remember leech that the treaty says "bite" not just kill. You will not do that to Bella." He was so angry he was shaking.

"Butt out Jake, it's none of your business, it is my choice it is what I want." I was glaring angrily at Jake, and angry Bella was enjoying it.

Jake turned to Cheyenne, "I have to go I will be back I promise." He turned toward the door and in a deadly voice he spoke to Edward "This isn't over bloodsucker, I won't allow you to kill her even if she is technically living afterwards, this is not over not by a long shot!" Then he turned and darted out the door, a few minutes later we heard a howl that sounded like it was right outside the window.