Chapter 8 - Nowhere
I ran until my legs burned, and my lungs screamed for more air. When I thought I would surely fall to the ground, I only pushed faster. The physical pain was welcome. Anything was better than the pain in my heart. For once, I wished for the empty hole I'd had in my chest all those months. It would seem like pleasure compared to the heartache I felt now.
I ended up running all the way home, hitting my front door at top speed. It was a good thing it was unlocked and the knob turned easily under my hand - had it not, I might have seriously hurt myself. I'm not sure I'd have noticed; all I could think about was getting away: from Edward, from Jacob, from Forks, even from Charlie. It was odd, I realized, as Charlie crossed my mind. I knew I looked like him, and it had always seemed that I'd inherited his steady temperament. But all that aside, the Renee gene must run strong after all. It'd just been lying dormant all this time. I needed out.
Running up the stairs to my room through my gasping sobs, I threw a few clothes in a small bag. I removed my stash of cash from its hiding place, throwing it into the bag as well, along with my very recently used passport with an Italy stamp on it. I also grabbed the bank card I would need to withdraw the rest of my college savings. I'd had quite enough education already, thank you very much, compliments of the town vampires and werewolves. I needed to be somewhere with considerably lower concentrations of both. I was now going to put this money to a much better purpose. It was almost laughable - the thought of focusing on calculus or science when the world was full of things that didn't conform to any convention of science.
I had my truck cranked rumbling at top speed - the entire 56 miles per hour I could coax out of the ancient bucket of bolts - making my way out of town within five minutes of running through my door. I hadn't even caught my breath yet.
ooo
It was a little anticlimactic when I pulled into a small, secluded hotel somewhere along the route to the Canadian border many, many hours later. I'd only made one stop along the way, and that had been at the bank back in Forks. For a half second, I'd thought the teller was going to call Charlie to check up on me. This was exactly why I hated small towns. But thank God I was 18, the account was in my name, and I was Chief Swan's goody-two-shoes adorably klutzy daughter. In the end, they'd let me walk right out of the bank with my fat wad of cash and the innocent smile I'd somehow managed to work up. At that point, despite the pain wracking my entire chest in waves, I could have pulled off anything in the name of getting away - even pretending to be cheerful.
I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening almost painfully tense behind the wheel of my truck, waiting for a huge wolf or marble vampire to suddenly appear in front of me and give me no choice but to slam on my brakes.
And yet, as I checked in to a dingy little room late that night, the ache in my chest intensified at the realization that neither of them had followed me or tried to stop me. It was both selfish and immature to wish that they had, especially knowing that I'd have very insistently made them leave if they had done so.
But it still hurt. Not to mention, there was at least some fear there. What if Victoria had followed me? What if she was looking for me at that very moment?
As though it would do any good, I double checked the chain lock on the door to my room.
And then I relaxed. If Victoria wanted me, I couldn't stop her. There was almost some comfort in that - there was really no sense in worrying about it.
Finally alone, I fell into the surprisingly comfortable hotel bed without even changing my clothes, pulling the covers up warmly to my chin. I was asleep in minutes.
ooo
After months of nightmares, that night I slept soundly. Maybe it was just pure exhaustion. Maybe it was the promise of a fresh start, away from everyone who knew me. Whatever the reason, I saw neither of their faces that night.
When I awoke, I reached into my bag and pulled out my wad of cash. Doing some quick figures in my head, I realized with some terror that I wouldn't be able to keep this up for very long - not without a job. But I wasn't going back.
I would just have to find a job.
But not here. The money I had would get me a little farther still. If I was extremely thrifty, I had at least a couple weeks before I would start to run low.
Ignoring the growling in my belly, I checked out of the hotel and drove away, ignoring all of the food places in town. I would make it a lot farther on the money I had if I didn't waste it on nonessentials.
That pattern continued throughout the day. Twice I almost decided to stop for food. Twice I talked myself out of it. I needed distance far more than I needed nourishment. There'd be time for that later. What I needed to be spending money on was gas and shelter.
Without eating a bite all day, I fell into another hotel bed that night. I still didn't bother changing clothes.
ooo
The following morning, it happened.
When I checked out of my room and made my way to my truck, I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw what was sitting in the driver's seat.
It was just a small white paper bag, maybe lunchbag size. But as I whirled around in a circle looking all around, my heart thudded.
Had Victoria found me? What was I going to find inside that bag? I imagined all kinds of horrifying, grisly possibilities.
My fear turned to pure blinding rage when I gingerly opened the bag and held my breath as I peeked inside.
A bagel. A container of cream cheese. An apple. A carton of milk.
It smelled delicious. The bagel was still hot. The freaking milk was still cold.
Damn whichever one of them it was.
I'd never wanted to eat anything so badly in my life.
But no way was I encouraging this behavior. I needed to be away from both of them as desperately as they needed to be away from me, whether they realized it or not.
I turned around and hurled the whole bag into the parking lot behind me before cranking my truck and driving away, shaking all over.
One of them had found me. But which one?
ooo
I realized many miles down the road that the answer to that question was in the food choice. Of the two, which could be counted on to be obsessive about my health? The bagel was whole wheat. The cream cheese was light. The milk was skim.
And an apple? Subtle.
Edward might as well have written me a cute little note and stuck it in the bag like my mom used to do when she was going through a health food kick, her effort to soften the blow of having celery sticks and carrots in my bag when the other kids had chocolate chip cookies.
Not that I'd have accepted food from Jacob either, but the type of food made me equally certain it couldn't have been him. He would have just offered me an entire slab of bacon, some sausage, and basically the total meat-eater breakfast of champions and giant werewolves everywhere. The very thought made my stomach growl.
A stab of pain hit my heart, though, when I wondered where Jacob was. Had he just taken me at my word and given up on me? Or had what Edward had mentioned in the woods behind Mike Newton's house already occurred...had Jacob already 'imprinted' or whatever and changed his mind about me?
It was too dizzying to contemplate, especially when I didn't even know what it meant. So I turned my mind back to the road, and to getting as far away as possible.
ooo
I watched out of the corners of my eyes for Edward the rest of the day, half wishing I would see him and half dreading sending him away if I did.
Of one thing I was absolutely certain: it was Edward who was following me. It was strangely comforting to know at least one thing for sure.
So imagine my surprise when I climbed back into my truck from a late afternoon rest and bathroom break at a McDonald's - where I still stubbornly refused to spend any of my precious resources on food - and came face to face with the latest food offering from another nearby business.
I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't have bought me the world's greasiest - and absolutely delicious smelling - pizza loaded with pepperoni and meat. An extra large. Deep pan. Stuffed crust.
Between that and the can of warm soda sitting in a bag on top of the pizza box, it just screamed Jacob.
Again, I whirled around looking for the guilty party, but with a little less urgency this time since I was no longer terrified it was from Victoria. The only possibility of it being from Victoria was if she'd poisoned it, and that was just completely ridiculous. Victoria would have no need to go to such lengths. No, it definitely had to be from Jacob. So it was Jacob following me.
I hesitated as I prepared to discard every bit of it. My body trembled all over from my massive blood sugar plummet, compliments of not having eaten for a couple days. Not to mention it wasn't as easy to throw away something I knew Jacob had spent money on - he didn't have piles of it lying around like Edward. I'd feel guilty ruining this particular offering. I spied a homeless man sleeping on a bench nearby. Tiptoeing over, I set the pizza on the ground just beside him. I was going to get rid of the drink too. But after a moment's hesitation, I held onto the soda and ran back for my truck. Popping the lid, I guzzled it greedily. It only intensified my hunger.
Dropping my head to the wheel, I resorted to talking to myself.
"Hold it together, Bella. You don't have enough money for food. Just stick to the plan."
Pep talk done, and my stomach growling ferociously, I started driving again - this time, keeping my eyes open for a large russet wolf.
ooo
I blinked in surprise...again.
Clearly I had been right the first time. It had to have been Edward all along.
Because I was fairly certain Jacob didn't have access to two thousand dollars, which was what greeted me the next time I opened my truck. I counted the rolls of hundred-dollar bills at least three times.
And then I gritted my teeth. I knew exactly why money was appearing now instead of food.
No more talking to myself. Damn vampire hearing.
I spoke through clenched teeth again, but this time not to myself. I knew he could hear me.
"I said to stay away from me. I don't want your money. I don't want your help. Just go away."
I kept the money in my lap as I drove along. I'd reached a big city, but I was so out of it that I wasn't even sure which one. I headed straight for downtown, knowing I'd find what I was looking for in short order.
And eventually I did. A young girl, no older than me, and clearly homeless. She lay in dirty clothes under a highway overpass. But even from where I pulled my truck over beneath the overpass, I could see that her eyes were bright and lucid. She was no druggie. Maybe she was in the same type of situation as me. Maybe she just needed a little help.
Maybe she had just needed to get away from something.
If Edward had still been gone, I probably would have heard his voice in my head when I climbed out of my truck and approached her. If she thought I was going after her territory, she could probably be dangerous.
So I held the wad of money out in front of me like a shield.
"Here."
She stared at me, eyes wide, before speaking in a voice raspy with disuse. "What's the con?"
"Nothing. Here, take it. I don't want it."
The girl's eyes flicked back and forth from the money to my face, clearly suspicious. "I don't need any more trouble."
I shook my head. "There's no trouble. I know this seems crazy. But it's mine, and I'm really just giving it to you."
She licked her lips in undisguised hunger, her resolve weakening. My stomach growled in sympathy. "There's gotta be a thousand dollars there."
"Two," I fired back instantly, and watched her jaw go slack. I waved the wad of unwanted cash at her. "It'll get you off the streets. Help you find a place to stay and get a job."
"You some kind of do-gooder?"
A small smile touched my lips as I watched hope flicker across her expression. I remembered that feeling. I used to have a lot of it before Edward crushed my soul.
"Something like that. It's a special scholarship from the...Cullen Foundation."
She was openly smiling back at me now as she reached out and took it. "Cullen Foundation?"
"Mmm. You should probably hide that."
I turned to go, and was surprised to hear the girl scramble to her feet.
"Hey, wait! Did you get a scholarship too? You work for them now and they couldn't even give you some decent clothes?"
Looking down at the clothes I hadn't taken off in days, I could understand why she thought that. Between my beat up truck and unkempt appearance, she had to assume I was homeless too. So it wasn't really her fault...but I gritted my teeth in frustration anyway, becuase I now halfway expected to find a clean set of clothes next time I stopped somewhere and came back to my truck. I didn't even turn back around to answer her.
"Not exactly. That was actually my, um, scholarship. I just don't want it. I'm happy where I am. I'm...transferring it to you."
I was halfway in my truck when she appeared right behind me. "Hey, listen...I'm going to get a room for the night. The least I can do is let you stay with me. You should get something out of this."
Tears sprang unbidden to my eyes at her kindness. I'd made a good decision.
"It's okay." I hesitated briefly. "But come on. I'll drop you off at a hotel."
And I did exactly that, learning only that her name was Hannah before I dropped her off at one of the nicer places in town and sped away as fast as my truck would take me.
I was 10 miles away before I realized I'd never even told her my own name.
ooo
Playing mental chess with a vampire - and possibly a werewolf too, since I still suspected Jacob might have had something to do with the pizza and warm soda - was not exactly easy.
I'd not accepted food. So they'd just left money.
I'd given away the money, and declared victory.
I should have known the game wasn't over.
He - or he - or they - had apparently decided to force my hand.
The next time I pulled off the highway, it was into the parking lot of a small sub sandwich shop in the middle of nowhere. Intending to run in only long enough to use the bathroom and be on my way again, I returned to find that my truck refused to crank.
Undaunted, I popped the hood and stared at the mysterious inner workings of my truck until a kind looking older man stopped by - the type that looked like he probably had 15 grandkids my age.
"Car trouble, Miss?"
"Um, yes," I managed to respond politely. I was so hungry by that point that I wanted to snap his head off for asking such an idiotic question. Did he think I was just standing there staring under the hood for my health?
He puttered around under the hood for a couple minutes, then turned kind eyes on me.
"You leave this truck here for long?"
I shook my head, suspicion growing in me. "No. Not even five minutes. Why?"
"Well, because somebody stole your spark plugs. No way this truck is starting. And there's not a parts store around here for miles. Nothing but this sandwich shop. Never did understand why they opened in the middle of nowhere, but I live just down the street so it works out okay for me." He closed the hood and turned kind eyes on me. "But unless you're looking to buy a sandwich, there's nothing else to do here but wait until I can find you some spark plugs."
I closed my eyes briefly as the pieces fell into place. The little old man didn't realize it, but he'd just hit the nail on the head. There was nothing for someone stranded in this place to do...other than eat.
I was going to kill them both. Regardless of which one was responsible. Regardless of the fact that one couldn't even die. I couldn't place clear blame on this one - Jacob was a mechanic, and Edward was just relentless about getting his own way, which at the moment obviously involved me eating. So it could be either of them. Or even both. With my luck, they were working together now to torture me.
"Oh, well I..." I hesitated, unsure whether to offer to go with my Good Samaritan to pay for the parts. Even in my downward spiral, I wasn't truly sure that jumping in the car with a random stranger - even such a nice one - was a good idea.
The kindly old man smiled. "I'll be right back. I'll just go pick some up for you. But in the meantime, why don't you go inside and have something to eat? It's gonna take a while, and you look a little thin." He looked me up and down, seeming to only have just noticed my appearance. "Do you need money, hon?"
Again, tears pricked my eyes. Leave it to me to be borderline rude to the one truly courteous man left in the Southwest.
"No, I'm fine. Thank you."
"No problem."
I turned around, defeated, and stumbled inside. Their plan had almost worked. I almost decided a lousy five bucks was worth it to stop the hunger pangs in my stomach.
If they'd left it at that, I'd have bought a stupid sandwich and ate it. Maybe even two of them.
But when I walked back in the door and up to the counter and pulled out some money, the bored looking girl behind the counter waved me off and smiled at me.
"Yours is on the house."
I saw red. "Describe him. Please."
Her eyes grew wide, and she denied that anybody had paid for my food - but I saw her eyes glance toward the tip jar and then the emergency exit, and there was only one person I knew of who would stick a 50 dollar bill in a sandwich shop tip jar and then slide out a back door.
I only threw three words at her as I turned around and marched out the door, my furious face a bright red. "I'm not hungry."
ooo
I didn't wait around for the nice old man with the spark plugs.
Forgetting my earlier (wise) decision that jumping in the car with a random stranger was not good, I made up my mind that I was getting farther down the road right then, one way or the other, and neither overprotective vampires nor territorial werewolves were going to stop me. And the way I had in mind was going to be much easier if I at least looked and smelled presentable.
Grabbing my bag from my useless truck, I washed up in the sandwich shop bathroom, and even combed my hair and put on clean clothes. Then I marched down to the main highway and stuck my thumb out at the first passing car. Beginner's luck...the first vehicle slammed to a stop right beside me.
The ratty old pickup truck was more beat up than mine, and the guy driving was even more questionable than his truck. I was almost certain I smelled alcohol on his breath. Charlie would have a massive coronary. Jacob would tell me I was an idiot.
And Edward...
Edward would be so furious he'd probably physically explode into little bite-size vampire pieces.
Good.
"Hey, sweetheart...need a lift?"
The way the 20-something, scruffy guy leered at me set me instantly at ill ease...but I ignored it.
"Yeah...I just need to get to the nearest hotel. Can you help me? I can pay you..." I trailed off hesitantly, feeling the beginnings of fear. My eyes scanned the trees, but there was no sign of Edward or Jacob. Was I on my own with this? I'd actually kind of expected them to stop me; and I'd been so furious, maybe that was exactly what I wanted: to do something I knew would force a confrontation so I'd have a chance to tell them what I thought of their interference.
The guy in the truck nodded his agreement directly at my breasts, and I gritted my teeth. I could feel his eyes on my rear end as I walked around the truck.
At the last possible second, I bypassed the passenger door and hopped in the back of his pickup truck. I wasn't quite self-destructive enough to get in the cab with him, at least. Actually, I was ready to pull the plug on this entire idea, but I wasn't quite sure how to get out of it now.
ooo
The next town, home of the local roach motel, was by some miracle smaller than the last town. In fact, there didn't appear to be anybody around for miles, and the hotel backed up to a dense stand of trees.
But I breathed a sigh of relief as the guy pulled in to the hotel as promised...and then tensed as he kept on going right to the other side of a huge sign that blocked us out of sight from the building.
I scrambled out of the back to the ground, clutching my bag uneasily as I tried to back away. Unfortunately, he was faster than me - and a lot bigger, I could see, now that he was out of the truck. Tall, muscular...and dangerous. And thanks to his quick maneuvering, the only place I had to back was right up against the side of his truck as he slowly started to crowd me.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to stay calm.
"Thanks for the ride. I, uh...I've got some money..." I stammered, trailing off noticeably as I pulled the bag protectively in front of me, like a shield between the two of us.
Faster than I could even step back again, the guy flipped open a small knife and had it pointed at me. "Yeah, I figured as much. I'll be glad to take that off your hands for you." He waved the knife in the direction of my bag. "Niiiice and slow, pretty girl."
I thought I heard a growl, followed by a snarl and a snap, and my heart soared for just a second. But when nobody showed up to help me, I decided I must have imagined it. I was going to have to do this without supernatural help.
Carefully, I reached into my bag and pulled out a very small wad of bills, what I'd already intended to give the man for my ride.
I held it out with my palm up, offering it to him as I held my breath.
As I'd feared he didn't take it. His eyes narrowed, and he jabbed the knife threateningly at me.
"Bag."
The one word command was all it took. I slipped the bag off my shoulder, holding it out to him, my knees trembling under me. Where the hell was Edward...Jacob...Edward...whoever?
It took about two swipes through the bag for him to find the rest of my cash and realize I'd been lying.
Dangerous eyes flashed angrily as he dropped the bag at his feet and advanced a step toward me. He waved the knife menacingly toward my face, and I whimpered, drawing back more tightly against the truck.
"Awfully stingy for such a rich girl, aren't you?" With a cruel sneer, his eyes traveled down me and back up. "But you know, there's other ways a pretty little thing like you could pay me..."
ooo
From somewhere nearby, vicious snarls and growls broke out, followed by what almost sounded like cracks of thunder.
It diverted both of our attention in that direction, but I recovered more quickly - quickly enough that I was able to blindly throw a knee at the disgusting man in front of me.
I missed...kind of.
I connected solidly enough with his stomach, but that was just slightly higher than my intended target. And it had a much less satisfying effect.
He doubled slightly, but still retained enough presence of mind to shoot a hand out and grab my throat, slamming me against his truck and stopping my escape attempt.
"You're going to regret that, you little bitch," he hissed through clenched teeth.
The snarls, growls and thuds continued...Jesus, they were fighting now? Despite my terror of my attacker, tears filled my eyes. They were this close, watching, and hadn't intervened? Even when I had a knife in my face? And now they were too busy fighting with each other to help me? Could I really mean so little to either of them? Did it really all boil down to some sort of testosterone contest and I was just the lucky girl caught in the middle? I was starting to hate them both.
My eyes widened, my mouth opening to scream as the man's hand reached out and grabbed the top of my shirt, preparing to rip it.
Despite my fury at both of them, two words shot out of my lips in rapid fire succession in a bloodcurdling scream...
"EDWARD! JAKE!"
And then the snarling stopped.
And then, with a jolt that knocked me hard back into the truck, the man disappeared so fast that I didn't even see it happen - but I definitely heard him scream. Repeatedly.
And then I turned around and ran headlong into the forest behind the motel, stumbling and crying and gasping - until I collapsed sobbing on the forest floor, curled up in a ball, and mercifully passed out.
ooo
The next thing I became aware of was the low murmur of voices, as though in a dream. It took more effort than it seemed like it should have, but somehow I started to make sense of the angry words - and to separate out the voices.
My eyes felt like they were rolling around in my head as I forced them open, two very blurry faces swimming above me.
And then both voices merged with the realization that I was awake.
"Bella!"
"Bells!"
Both heads leaned closer to me, and it almost looked like there was some mild shoving back and forth as they each tried to get closer, jockeying for position. Everything was too blurry to really be sure. All I knew was that for some reason one of my hands was freezing, and the other was burning up. Both were being squeezed so tightly that it almost hurt.
But after a moment, the effort to keep my eyes open was too much, and I felt them roll back in my head and close again. But this time, I didn't lose consciousness. I could hear everything going on around me...every single word.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's Note:
Hmmm...so why were Jake and Edward fighting, and why the heck didn't they step in sooner? Did they have a good reason for not stopping her? Well you know they did! Otherwise she'd have never made it off the Newtons' street and we all know it. But what is that reason? You'll find out in the next chapter. :)
And please, please, please hit that little green button. I'm dying to get to 100 reviews here. If everybody that reviewed last chapter will review again, I'll get there. C'mon guys, I'm counting on you. :)
