A.N. Hello my reader. I want to think you for the views. I am two chapter away from going on hiatus. If you want to know what happens after that then you should review. I might not update after that if there no reviews. Just a thought. Anyway who enjoy.


Chapter 8: Dean

I'm a freak. I'm a disgusting freak. I can't stop thinking about Cas in ways I should be thinking about my girlfriend. Sure I love my girlfriend… I think. She's the sweetest smartest girl I know. I hear a lot of guys saying how sexy she is and wouldn't mind taking a run at her. I am lucky to have her. I do really care about her and don't want to see her hurt but why do I have to think about him too.

I want things to go back when he didn't invade my thought every five minutes. Problem is ever since I started thinking about him I can't think of a time when I didn't feel this way. Oh god what am I feeling. Okay now I am being dramatic. It's not that serious right. I am Dean Winchester. I have a super-hot girlfriend who makes me laugh and my best friend name is Cas. See I'm normal. Everybody cares about their best friend a little more than other people. That's why you call them your best friend.

So if that's the case, why can't I stop thinking about Christmas? I can't stop thinking about how he was on top me. He had his weight on me and I liked it. I liked it a lot. If he didn't move when he did I think I would have gotten a boner. Okay I am lying I had a boner I wasn't just that hard. It felt like that. It felt like all my blood was starting to leave my brain. I actually couldn't think. But I could think, I thought about kissing him. Kissing him because he got me the best present I ever got, kissing him because his lips are so full and pink, kissing him because it might make me happy. Then I had to go blurt it out. I am so lucky he didn't think much of it. That would have been weird if he had.

Now if things didn't get any stranger with me, I actually was mad that he went over a week without talking to me. It's like I became some chick who started going crazy because her boyfriend disappeared on them. After he had Christmas dinner with us, I did see him at all. Whenever I called he never answered, oh but I did get a text. Very few worded text every few days. Every time I would ask him what he was doing he'd say he was with Meg. He was with Meg. What kind of stuff is that? I have a girlfriend but I make time for my friends. I manage to hang out with Gabriel and Jo this week. Of course not every day because I had to spend time with Bella but still I made time for my friends. Okay I am doing it again. I'm sounding like some crazy whiny chick. I have to stop. I should just be happy that we are all together now.

It's New Year's Eve and we are at Gabriel and Cas's house pre gaming before we go to this New Year's Eve Party. Of course Cas invited Meg to come along.

"Why are we drinking now? Can't we drink at the party?" Meg asks in her stupid know it all voice.

"Balthazar said we might not be allowed to drink. We are allowed to come to his friend's party but he says there might be some checking Id's at the bar."

"He's eighteen. How is he going to drink?" Jo asks as she drank a shot of the disgusting brown liquor, Gabriel somehow manage to get."

"Fake Id beautiful." Gabriel says. I was wondering how long it takes him to give her a compliment. He really can't go a whole hour without telling her how beautiful she is and it has been an hour and two minutes. Yes I timed it. It's the only way it becomes amusing.

"Okay so how we getting in." I ask.

"He's sneaking us in." Cas says

"To bad Bella could be here tonight." Meg says. How dare she bring my girlfriend up? Who the fuck she think she is. Is she implying that I rather be with Cas and the rest of them than her. That bitch.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I have to ask. I don't care if I sound rude.

"Nothing I'm just saying. I really like her and it would have been nice to hang with her tonbight.." Does she think I don't want to hang with her.

"Yeah well I really like her too. In fact I love her."

"I'm sure you do. She is your girl." She says with a small chuckle. Is she making fun of me? Is she trying to play me? That evil bitch!

"Yeah she is my girlfriend and has been for a long time. Not like how you only been together with Cas here for all of five minutes." There I told her.

"What's your deal?" She asks like I am offending her or something.

"I don't have a deal? What's yours?"

"I'm really not following."

"Oh don't play dumb. You are trying to play me because my girlfriend isn't allowed out on New Year's. You think it's so funny how I am the only who doesn't have anybody to kiss at midnight." She really has some nerve sitting there as if I am catching her off guard. Everybody knows that Bella dad is strict. She isn't allowed do as much as most of us.

"I didn't say that. You are putting words in my mouth… He is putting words in my mouth." She says as she looks to Cas to defend her, but he hasn't. He would go u against me. If anything he will take my side. It's just what we do.

"You didn't have to. You said it with your body language." I say trying to prove my point, but I will admit that everybody else is giving me a look of confusing and what the fuck?

"Dean I think you need to calm down." Cas says. He is trying to defend her. I don't believe it. How can he take her side? I officially hate him now.

"I am calm." I say but I'm not. I am highly irritated mostly with him now. He has barely said anything and I am the most annoyed with him. It's his entire fault really. If he didn't bring the demon bitch then we would even be in this situation.

"No you're not. You are actually ruining the vibe." Gabriel says as he tries to put in his two cents. Who asked him?

"Who asked you?" I say out loud this time.

"Dean you need to calm the fuck down." Jo says.

"Oh great little miss know it all has to add on. Why don't you mind your business Jo?"

"Dean stop it. You are getting upset for nothing. Meg did nothing or said nothing to you." Cas says. He really is taking her side.

"She is mocking me."

"Mocking you? All I said was it's too bad your girlfriend couldn't be here." Now she is trying to make me feel stupid. Well I got news for you honey. It's not gone work. She can pull that whole hurt person act on something else.

"Right and in doing so you are implying that my relationship is a joke."

"I did no such thing."

"You lying bitch you did so."

"Bitch" She says offended. Okay now I know I really crossed a line. I shouldn't have called her that at least out loud, but she is really bothering me by just breathing.

"Okay now you have crossed a line." Gabriel says standing up. "Dean you need to chill. Cas handle this. The girls and I will walk to the party and you two can meet us there." He says pointing at me like I am some child who can't behave. Fuck him too.

"I have a name and it's not this."

"No it's just jackass." Jo says as she stands up to put on her coat. Of course Gabriel is helping her put it on. Why doesn't he just give it up already? He likes her but she will never feel the same way. Doesn't he know is a lost cause with her.

"I don't want to go anywhere he is going." Meg says.

"Oh come on Meg. You can't let this fool ruin your night." Jo pleaded. I just love how these two are becoming friends. Soon they will be best friends forever.

"Fine I'll go but I don't want him nowhere near me."

"Deal." Gabriel says as he motions for them to head for the door.

"I'm really sorry about this. I'll straighten him out and then I will meet you there." Cas says as he stands up to walk her out.

"Hurry." She says as she gives me a look before kissing him. I swear she knows what she is doing. It's like she knows me seeing her kiss him bothers me.

"I will. Promise." He says as he hugs her.

I hate her. I don't get why they all like her. She isn't that nice. Sure she pretends and fools everybody but I see her for what she really is. I see her for the black eyed demon she really is. I need everybody to get this.

"Okay what is wrong with you." Cas turns and says to me after everybody else is gone. He looks pissed and I kind of like it. His face has red spots and he looks like he is ready to smite. God what is wrong with me. MY best friend is ready to smite me and I just want to be smote by him in every way if you catch my drift. No stop it. I have to stop. I don't want him in any way. That would be wrong.

"Nothing." Really nothing is wrong with me now. Now that the she devil is gone I am fine. I just wish she could be gone all the time.

"Please don't try and insult my intelligence. You disrespected my girlfriend, your cousin, and my brother."

"I did no such thing. I just called everybody on their bull." I say as I folded my arms.

"Are you seriously going to sit there and fold your arms and pout like a six year old." Yup

"You didn't have my back."

"What" he says like I am frustrating him. He signs as he rubs his face. It's really weird that I find this situation hot. I like pissing him off. "I did not have your back because you are wrong." He says as if he is trying to be patience.

"I am not wrong. She is wrong, she pointed out the fact that my girlfriend was not here."

"She isn't here." He yells just a little. Damn it's hot. Damn it there I got again.

"I know." Now he is saying nothing. He is looking at me with frustration in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it before anything is said. I stand there holding my ground. I refuse to acknowledge I am wrong and he refuses to say I was right. Looks like we are at a standstill.

"Okay if I am going to sit here and listen to you whine, like some chick then I am not doing it sober." He says before he disappears to his room.

Wait he called me a chick. I am not a chick. I am not whining I am just simply stating how I felt and refuse to apologize for it. Okay wait I am acting like a girl. Damn it. I'm doing it again. I am acting like a freak again.

"Okay" he says reappearing with a wooden box. That's the box he keeps his weed in. "Before you say anything I need to smoke this."

"Fine" I say as I turn my head to look the other way. I can't smoke anymore. With the way I am feeling plus him being right next me and add on the drinks I have already had. I might do something stupid, like kiss him again.

"Here" he says trying to hand me my own personal joint.

"No thanks man." I say pushing it away.

"It's not up for discussion. You need to mellow out; you pretty much ruined any chance of me having sex tonight. So you are going to smoke this whole joint and you are going to calm the hell down." Wow. Is it weird I like how he told me what to do? His voice sounds demanding and controlling and it is sending chills up my back. I need to be smacked but only by him.

"Fine" I say as I take the joint and light it. Maybe if I don't inhale then I might have some control.

"You will smoke the whole thing and say nothing until you have finished." There he goes giving orders.

"Yes sir." There go those chills again. I wonder if he is like this with Meg. As bossy as she is, this probably his only way of release.

So for the next fifteen minutes we sit there quiet smoking our joints, watching the smoke move through the room. I know I said I wouldn't inhale but I did. It's a habit plus I like the feeling of getting high.

"You good" he finally says.

"I'm good." I say lying. I am actually freaking out. My heart is racing super-fast. I feel like it's about to jump out my chest. I am fighting the way I am feeling but I feel like I everything is multiplied. I can't take this, I have to get control.

"Talk to me." He says looking at me with those pretty blue eyes. I can't figure out what shade they are. I know what shade Bella eyes are. There are grey. Just grey nothing extra about them. Her eyes are warm and kind but they don't sparkle like his. OH god did I just say his eyes sparkle.

"Dean" he says interrupting my inner freak out.

"What?"

"What happen?"

"What do you mean what happen. Nothing has happen."

"So nothing has happen in the last week that would cause you to freak out on my girlfriend for saying something innocent."

"It wasn't innocent." The more I think about it. The more I realize it was innocent. She didn't mean anything by it. She was just bothering me.

"Did you see your dad?"

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"Whenever the subject of your dad comes up, you get moody, weird, and angry."

"I am not weird. Okay I am normal just like you." I say a little too fast and angry.

"Okay calm down. I am not saying that you are weird. Just some of the things you do can be weird whenever it has something to do with him." He says slowly and patiently.

"I'm sorry."

"Okay now we are getting somewhere." He says with a sexy giggle. Damn it I did it again. I'm not supposed to find his laugh sexy.

"Can we go now?" I ask in a childlike voice.

"Not until we get to the bottom of what is wrong with you."

"Isn't this Jo's job."

"Yeah but you kind of pissed her off too. So either you talk to me or you'll be by yourself tonight."

"How? If I am at the same party as all of you."

"Yeah but I bet she won't talk to you."

"Why?"

"Okay I see this going to take a while." He says as he grabs the bottle and pours us both a drink. "Here" he says handing me the glass. "Drink."

"Cheers" I say holding up the glass before I chug the nasty burning liquid.

"Ready to talk" he says after I finish my drink.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Okay you say that but I don't believe that."

"Okay why can't you leave it alone?" I say angry he can't move on.

"If you don't get over your issues about your father or at least work through whatever he has caused than we can't go to the party." Okay now I'm pissed.

"Will you stop bring up my father and stop acting like you are him."

"So this is about him."

Why just why? Why is he doing this? I thought guys don't sit and talk about their feelings. Why can't he just leave it alone? I can't tell him what is wrong without scaring him off. At least I think that is what. He is my friend and I can't tell him I think about him in ways friends don't and plus he is really asking me mad. I snapped on Meg so what. She isn't right for him. Maybe I should tell him, but he is getting laid. I mean what ninth grader you know is having sex if I say something he might get mad and stop talking to me.

"No this isn't about him and while we are on the subject why do you keep asking me about my dad. Maybe the problem is your dad." I say frustrated.

He looks at me while he pinches the bridge in nose while inhaling. He looks like he is frustrated at me, but he says nothing. He looks at me again and takes another deep breath. He runs his hand from his forehead to his chin. I think he is getting upset. I don't want him upset .

"I don't understand what my dad has to do with anything." He says ever so calm.

"Maybe your pissed he left you here in this horrible town. I know you have issues with your own dad. So why don't you stop trying to make your issues my issues."

"Dean Maybe you should quit whiles you on a roll." That sounded real serious.

"Why?" For a minute it looks like he is going to punch me. I see I hit a nerve. Which is good because I am sick of him trying to talk to me?

"Forget it okay. Let's just sit here quietly and drink and watch one of the many New Year's Ever Specials. He says as he flips on the tv.

Finally he gives up. I feel bad for bringing his dad up. I know he has some issues with his dad and it wasn't right I should apologize.

"Let's do that…and I'm-"

"No more talking" he says cutting me off.

I say nothing because I know I have been a dick tonight. What should have been an epic night between friends got ruined because I turned into a huge jerk? Maybe I should just be quiet until he is ready to talk again. Man for a dude he is real chatty like a chick so it won't be long.

So we sit there watching TV. I'm getting so drunk that I can't even tell who is singing, or rather if they are singing or rapping. All I can here is the beat of the music. I feel it rushing threw my body uplifting every emotion. I want to lie down but I don't want to sleep through the New Year. I ruined our chances of going to an actually party. The least I can do is wish Cas an happy new year. But he has other plans.

"Okay it's time for bed." He says as he helps me stand up. I wish he didn't do that. As I stand I feel blood rushing to my head and I become dizzy. "Careful" he says as he catches me. Now I wish he wouldn't do that. The blood that once was rushing to my head is now rushing to other places. He has his hands on my hips as he helps me walk. His hands are kind of soft for a guy. At least I think they are soft. That could just be my mind playing drinks on me.

"I can walk myself." I slur as I try to break away from him, but he is stronger than me, soon as I break free he grabs me again pulling me closer to him.

"Sure you can, but I want to make sure you don't fall." He says a little too close to me ear. Is he flirting with me. Does he know I secretly like him touching me?

"Whatever." I say as I notice he moves a couple of inches from me. His hands are still on me but the rest of his body seems so far away. I miss the warmness. Even though I only felt it for a second.

"Okay here we are?" he says as he sits me down on his bed.

I can't see straight at all. It's like I am staring at one of those pictures that is broken in different shapes. I feel like I can't keep my head up but yet all I want is for him to be next to me again.

"I am sleeping here?" I ask as he takes off my shoes.

"Yes and I will sleep in Balthazar's" room he says standing back up. I don't want him to go.

"Okay" I say as he pushes me back on the bed.

"Night Dean" he says with his million dollar smile. At least I think he is smiling at me. It might be a frown. I'm not sure and I cannot tell from the sound of his voice.

"Wait" I say as I sit up and grab his shirt with my fist.

"What?" he says as he stands really still. He looks down at me as I look up at him. It looks like he is barely breathing. I might be making him uncomfortable but I don't care at this point. Our eyes connect and all I want to do is feel his body on mine.

I knew I shouldn't have drank. I knew I shouldn't have gotten high. I knew that I would end up doing this but I can't help it. After feeling his body near mine for a brief second I want more contact.

"Dean what are you doing?" He asks uneasy. I know he is uneasy. I know this for sure. Maybe I am making a big mistake but I have to go for it. I can't stop thinking about it and being drunk only makes it worse. Maybe if I do it one more time, I will get it out of my system.

"This." I say as I pull him on top of me. I don't know why but it was so easy. He just feel on top me. At first he freezes but soon his body is pressed deep into mine. He arpas his arms around me as we start to kiss. At first I am control but than he takes control as I swear his left legs moves up and rest across my body.

Shivers and shocks are running through my body as are tongues dance together. There is something different about this than when I kiss my girlfriend. I mean kissing her is nice but I really like this.

"Wait." He says all of a sudden as he stops the kiss. He then says something to me I don't understand. Kissing him added to my high and now I am completely lost I throw my hips up into him and he kisses me again as if his life depend on it. He stops the kiss again and says something but I still don't know what it is.

I just wait for him to stop talking before I say "Happy New Year Cas" as I place a small peck on his lips before I close my eyes and drift off into a deep sleep.


Btw make sure to check out the supernaturalwholocked22 stories

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thank you for reading

I know i said i wouldn't change the tile. Please don't damn me to hell but hey if you maybe my own version of Cas will respect. BUt this time i swear on Destiel that i will change it. Whoa swearing on Destiel that has to mean something