Daryl waited impatiently for Morgan to tell him the one last thing, as he was pausing for dramatic effect or some bullshit. It was almost too much for Daryl to listen to Morgan droning on with Carol so close. Daryl sighed impatiently.
Morgan looked as if he was trying to figure out how to word what he was going to say, but finally continued, "She loves you. She might push you away to protect you...and you...you are someone who will take that as a rejection. Fight for her."
Daryl furrowed his brow, wanting to protest, but knowing that's exactly how he'd feel if she pushed him. He was prepared to leave forever if she didn't want him. Daryl nodded.
"I'll leave you, now," Morgan said, and turned and left. Daryl watched him walk down the hall, suddenly so scared to open that door.
He knocked.
"Come in," her voice sounded tiny.
Daryl opened the door.
He heard a small gasp. He turned and she was there. His Carol was sitting in a chair across the room, her hand covering her mouth, obviously as surprised to see him as he was to see her. He thought she was gone forever, dead even, and here she was in front of him. She was wearing a nightgown, and he could see her arm and leg wrapped in bandages. She had been reading a book.
His feet felt like lead but he managed to bridge the distance between them, falling on his knees at her feet. He didn't even think, he just had to go to her. He couldn't look at her as his eyes burned hot with unshed tears, but he felt her fingers gently running through his hair. He heard her say, "Daryl?" She sounded bewildered.
"Thought I lost ya," he said quietly.
Tossing aside the book, she dropped out of the chair, kneeling face to face in front of him. She brushed the hair out of his face trying to comfort him, guilt written on her face, "I'm so sorry."
He was so overrun with emotion that he was having trouble even looking at her. He tenderly touched the bandage on her arm, and the other on her leg, "Jesus," he sighed. He noticed this was like some sort of hospital room. He touched her arm again, "Are you… okay?"
"The pain is better, and I can walk a little now. I'm gonna have a limp, I think," Carol said.
"Ya left me," Daryl said - his voice wavering and betraying his emotion, "Why? How can I protect ya if ya run away?"
Daryl broke down and Carol pulled him close and she cradled him in her arms, whispering, "I'm sorry," over and over to sooth him.
Carol holding him in that moment was everything to him, but he had so many fears, and doubts, that he pulled back, feeling the need to put things out on the table.
He flipped the coin.
"I love ya," he said, staring at the ground, but then got the courage to look into her eyes. He had to see if she felt the same. He repeated, "I love you." This time gazing straight into her eyes.
Carol didn't respond, but she bit her lip. Daryl's heart sank.
"Why did you leave me?" Daryl groaned.
"I didn't leave you," Carol replied quietly, "I mean, I did, and I'm sorry that it hurt you, but I wasn't trying to get away from you...I thought it would be better for you if I left."
"No," Daryl said, burying his head into Carol's shoulder, "I need ya."
"You don't know what I've done," she said as she absently curled her fingers in he hair.
They sat like that for awhile and then he pulled away to look at her. She averted her eyes, and stared hard at the wall.
"I know you, and yer not bad," Daryl touching her chin so she'd meet his eye again, "I know you."
"You don't know...I've killed 24 people..that I can remember...maybe more..." tears filled her eyes.
Daryl frowned, "Is that how you feel about me, that I'm some horrible killer?"
"What?" Carol said at the misunderstanding, "No, you're too good. You're honorable."
"Well, I've killed a helluva lot more than 24 people, and I sure as hell haven't kept count."
Carol seemed to take this into consideration for a moment, and he could see her weaken in front of him with some kind of realization. Carol sighed, "There's so much more."
"Do ya love him?" Daryl asked the question he never wanted to ask.
Carol paused for a long time on this question, "No."
Daryl took a deep breath.
"Do ya love me?" he looked at her with hopeful eyes.
Carol smiled sheepishly and looked down.
"You know I do," she said quietly, "I love you more than anything."
"I honest to God, cross my heard, did not know," Daryl said with a sudden smile, "I hoped for it."
Their eyes met. Her beautiful eyes sparkled and there was a blush to her cheek as she said, "Well...now you know." Silence filled the room.
Daryl reached over and took her hand, feeling very overwhelmed with emotion but comfortable with her silence. She seemed to be mulling over some things in her mind and that was good. He had a lot of questions, but he didn't want to ruin the moment.
"I have to get up, my leg is so sore down here on this floor" Carol said.
Daryl stood up, reaching down to carry her, and realizing he didn't have the strength with his gunshot wound to his shoulder.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Got shot, too," Daryl said, "In the shoulder."
"Oh, Daryl," she said, tears threatening to fall again.
"Won't be able to carry you over to the bed, like I wanted to," Daryl said and then blushed immediately up to the tips of his ears, "didn't mean that how it sounded."
Carol giggled, and it was the sweetest sound. When was the last time he'd heard her giggle? "It's okay, Pookie, your honor is intact," she said through teary but smiling eyes.
He helped her walk over to her bed, tucked her in, and sat next to her on the edge of the bed, taking her hand, tracing light circles over her palm. He didn't know exactly what everything meant between them right now, but he felt good about it. There was a lot he had to say to her, but he hoped they would have a long time together for him to tell her what he needed to.
"I need to see it," Carol said, pointing at his gun shot wound.
Daryl was a little shy about taking off his shirt. Not that she'd not seen him before without it, just that he always was self conscious about it. He watched her concerned face as she saw that he was bandaged up and she made a little whimper She sat up to examine the dressing, touching where the wound was reverently, and said, "Here?" He nodded, feeling his pulse quicken. She leaned over and kissed him on his bandage where the wound would be, and then rested her head on the center of his chest, wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. Could she feel how fast his heart was beating?
Carol turned her eyes toward his, and he knew it was his moment. He gently cupped her chin and bent his head to meet her lips. Kissing her was so easy he wondered why he hadn't kissed her on the farm and every day since. He pulled back and looked at her, his lip curling into his shy half smile. Carol was the one who went in for a second kiss, and this time they melted together. Daryl thought that she tasted like everything he ever wanted.
Later, lying in bed together, Daryl holds his whole world in his arms with her cuddled up to him. She is sleeping deeply and he hates to unravel himself from her but his arm has fallen asleep. He considers just letting it die and fall off, but it's too uncomfortable now that he's woken up from his light dozing.
He is almost floored by his own feelings as he realized this is happening to him. She is his now, and he is the luckiest man on earth. She promised not to leave him ever again, and most of all they gave themselves to each other, and he thought it was beautiful. He felt like she was part of him now, the best part, and he was so proud.
He slipped out of bed carefully so as not to disturb her.
He fumbled around in the moonlight looking for his pants – abandoned on the floor - and retrieved his cigarettes and matches from the pocket. Placing a cigarette between his lips, he stared out the window as he lit a match.
"Can't smoke in here, Dixon," her voice said sleepily.
"Wasn't for me," Daryl said with a smile, "Thought you liked to smoke after."
She laughed, "come back to bed."
"Fine," he said blowing out the match, and putting the cigarette back in the pack.
"You have a cute butt," she teased.
"Stop."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but notice the full moon."
"Stop," Daryl laughed. "Your jokes are ridiculous you know."
"You love them," she said.
Daryl didn't respond, but he was smiling.
As he walked back to the bed he tripped on his discarded boots and caught himself on the bedside table which went toppling over. It hurt his shoulder like hell, and he cursed.
"Are you alright?" Carol asked.
"My ego is a little sore," Daryl said, "Feelin' clumsy in front of a pretty lady."
She laughed.
He set the table back up and then began picking up the items that fell on the floor. He saw a coin, shining brightly in the moonlight, a silver dollar – heads up.
He picked it up.
"What's this about?" He said returning to bed, and snuggling into her. They had no use for money so no one really bothered to carry any.
She took the coin from his hand, showing him both sides, "Look. It's a trick. Both sides are heads. Forever lucky. Thought it was neat so I kept it."
Daryl smiled, "I like that."
He kissed her, and he was amazed at how natural it felt – like coming home after a long day. Their 7th kiss had been the one that brought them together and it was forever lucky. He knew that he would lose track of their kisses from this point on, and he was okay with that. It was most definitely fine by him.
The End
