Lisbon stared at the hand gripping hers across the table purposefully ignoring that gold band. Gripping, not holding. Jane had hold of her hand as though it was a lifeline to a drowning man. They'd not ended up at the crowded Thai restaurant after all. They'd settled instead for a cozy little retro dive offering privacy in a back booth and the greasy fries Lisbon suddenly found herself craving. Jane had somehow charmed the smitten waitress into making him tea from her personal stash while Lisbon indulged in a hamburger, fries, and an old fashioned homemade milkshake the likes he'd never seen her eat. Jane had joined her in a burger and fries though he'd stuck with the ever present tea.

"Pulling out all the stops tonight are we, Teresa?" He had no doubts she'd find room for dessert as well before she was done.

"My last hoorah before I have to start watching everything I eat." Lisbon wasn't looking forward to that.

Jane's look said that really wasn't necessary on his account. He wouldn't mind having more Lisbon to love. Lisbon's look said she might be pregnant but she wasn't getting fat. She was a Senior Agent with the CBI and that just wouldn't do. She had to be lean and mean to bring down those criminals and they both knew it. Jane surrendered with a shrug. He couldn't do anything with the woman. Well, obviously a thing or two or she wouldn't be pregnant; but, as for the rest, forget it.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He watched her shovel a fry in her mouth.

"I did. I am enjoying myself." Truthfully, she was enjoying the company more than the food.

"So am I. It's going to be okay, you know." Lisbon's look clearly said that was exactly what she didn't know.

How could everything be okay? They hadn't even gotten each other right and now they were adding a child to the mix. An innocent little baby being brought into a world of emotionally damaged parents and serial killers wasn't exactly ideal. What had they been thinking? What had she been thinking? She hadn't been, not really. Not with her head. Not past her desire to save Jane from the darkness at any cost even if that meant taking him to her bed.

Not past the flutter his smile put in her heart or the desire unfurling between them. Not past the happiness she felt upon awakening in his arms on those special mornings or the despair she felt upon realizing he wasn't coming home that night. She'd just taken it for granted her trusty little prescription would work. It always had. The universe had gotten the last laugh on that one.

Beyond that, what would Hightower and the powers that be say once the word got out? Their world was definitely going to tilt on its axis. There was no way they'd allow them to stay together. Even if was her consultant and not technically an underling. There was no way they'd allow both parents to be part of the same team. What if something catastrophic happened? What if their child was left alone in the world without either parent?

That she had married brothers able and willing to step in should the unthinkable happen wouldn't keep them together. Not if the top dogs wanted them apart. Lisbon didn't see any way this could work out right. Any way they could stay together as Lisbon and Jane. She didn't see any way this could work if they were pulled apart. Coming home to each other at the end of the day wouldn't be enough given the newness of their relationship and the weakness of their core foundation. Being good friends wasn't enough.

Jane watched the emotions playing over Lisbon's face and read her like an open book. He knew her desires and he knew her fears. He knew what she was thinking down to the smallest detail. He knew things she didn't know. Things he couldn't tell her. He knew things that would keep the powers that be at bay and keep them joined together. He knew they could last through the coming storm for their foundation was anything but weak with a strength forged over time. Lisbon had yet to realize what he already knew. He had yet to find a way to make her see.

That gold band on his finger was far from reassuring his lover; but, he hadn't yet reached the point where he could take it off. Not that she'd asked him too. She would never do that. Lisbon chose instead to do what she was already doing. She would continue to suffer in silence and he would continue to let her. She would continue to pray for the day he would part with the bloody thing that caused her so much emotional pain.

"Is it? Do you really believe that? Everything will be okay?" Lisbon vocalized her doubts.

"Yeah, Lisbon, I do. I'm actually good with all of this." She obviously didn't believe him.

"Are you?" She not only didn't believe him, she thought he was outright lying. He'd lied to her before. He had, but he wasn't lying now.

"Are you going to question everything I say? Yeah, Lisbon, I am. I'm okay, better than okay, with the idea that you're carrying my child." Jane repeated slowly.

"You aren't just saying that?" Lisbon looked him straight in the eyes daring him to look away.

"Teresa, stop trying to give me a way out." Jane's tone was sharp. "I don't want it. I don't need it and my answer isn't going to change. I've had a little while to get used to the idea now so I can honestly tell you that I'm really fine with this. I wouldn't have chosen to have a child now; maybe not ever. But neither of us expected you to conceive. We were taking steps to prevent it. Now that it's done, I'm looking forward to having another child. I'm looking forward to having another child with you." He couldn't make the truth any clearer.

"You are?" Lisbon still wasn't sure she believed him.

"Yeah, I am. I wouldn't be if it was anyone else; but, it isn't. It's you and that makes all the difference in the world." Jane rubbed her hands absently.

He didn't have to worry about this happening with anyone else. He wouldn't have taken them to bed. Or, more accurately, allowed them to take him to bed. It wouldn't have happened. The attraction wasn't there. No other woman challenged him to live again. No other woman was worth the self-recrimination he overcame every day to be with Lisbon. He wouldn't do it. No way.

"Lisbon, I'm not going to tell you I'm not struggling with all of this. We both know that would be a lie. I won't say I'm not as consumed by the guilt and all the malevolent emotions you know I'm feeling, but I'll work through them. I always have and I always will." Where she was concerned that was true.

"Are you sure you can? Work through them?" Lisbon was really being difficult tonight.

Not that Jane blamed her. She'd gotten an unexpected, and not entirely pleasant, bit of news today. They both had. Now she would have to depend on a man who was known to disappear on a whim. Though he always came back that he disappeared at all was unsettling at the best of times and this was in no way that. Especially for a woman who wasn't entirely sure she trusted him not to just disappear for good one day and never come back.

"I don't have a choice, Lisbon. I have to work through it for all our sakes: yours, mine, and his." Plainly speaking, that was how he saw it.

"I guess you do." Lisbon's voice was resigned. "Jane, it's much too soon to know what we're having. My doctors can't even tell." He had to be kidding. She wasn't buying into that. There was no way in hell he could know their child was a boy. Even the great Patrick Jane couldn't pull that one out of his hat.

"What do they know? I'm telling you it's a boy." Jane repeated firmly.

"You know that how? Have you suddenly become psychic?" Lisbon asked.

"Don't be absurd. Psychics don't exist. It's what you want and it's what we're going to have. Take it or leave it; but, you'll find out I'm right in a few weeks." Knowing Lisbon, she'd be hauling a lot of pink girlie things back to the store before she was done.

"You're sure about that?" Having all but raised three brothers, she really wanted a girl.

"Yeah, Lisbon, I am. How much do you want to bet?" Lisbon just rolled her eyes. She was so not going to bet against Jane on anything. She worked too hard for her money to give it all to him. "Don't bother looking at any pink frilly frou-frou stuff or discussing silly little girl names with Van Pelt. It's won't be happening this go around."

"You are so full of it, but whatever." Lisbon was still staring at him dubiously through beautiful big green eyes.

Jane wasn't sure if that was because she doubted him or she doubted the sex of their child. It didn't really matter. He'd work through his issues and the kid was definitely a boy. Lisbon would have to deal with it. He wasn't going anywhere. He was here for the long-haul. She wasn't getting rid of him and he'd just have to prove it too her. Oh, and she'd have to get used to their son.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lisbon. You're stuck with me now, you and the kid." He wasn't going anywhere.

"I think we can handle that, Jane. I really do." Until Jane gave her a reason not to.

Lisbon's eyes swung involuntarily to the hands still holding hers, swinging to that ring. That symbol of everything he'd loved and lost. Of everything he still clung to so tenaciously. She hated that ring and she hated that Jane still wore it. She'd never tell him; but, she did with all of her heart and soul. It was the symbol of everything he'd lost and of everything she could never have. She just hated the thing with an almost palatable hate.

"Lisbon, I'm happy you're in my life. I'm happy about the baby. I'm happy you're willing to give the 'us' thing a shot. Don't ever doubt that because I am."

"I'm glad you're willing to give the 'us' thing a shot too. I honestly didn't expect you to be happy about the rest. I didn't know what I was going to do." Lisbon couldn't imagine coming to work every day with Jane if he'd rejected her or their child. She hadn't even been able to contemplate going there. "I take that back. I knew exactly what I was going to do which is have our child. I just didn't know exactly how I was going to go about doing it without destroying my team." Neither of them was under any illusions who her guys would have sided with had things turned out differently.

"The child you carry is a part of you and he's a part of me. It's a life we created together. How could I not be happy about that? Any man who could is a fool.

That being said, it doesn't mean I believe I have a right to be this happy or that I'm not consumed by guilt over the other. It doesn't mean I'm not ashamed the greater part of me has moved on while they're still gone. Part of me is being eaten alive by remorse, Lisbon; but, the greater part of me is beginning to live again in spite of all the other. I think that part is going to win in the end. I think it's going to win because of you." Earnest eyes captured hers.

"I don't know what to say." He had to know she'd be here. She always had been.

"Don't say anything. Just know in spite of the dark spots, and there will be dark spots, we're going to be okay.

It takes a while for a man to exit Lodebar, Lisbon, especially after all these years. It's not pretty, it's not painless, it's not easy, and it's not going to happen over night when you've been dwelling in the desert as long as I have. All I ask is that you bear with me while I work through what has to be done."

Jane could write a book on the barren desert of the soul. He'd explored every hidden nook and cranny both while awake and asleep through those horrendous nightmares always ending in that bloody smiley face splattered across the wall. Nothing could grow there. Not in the arid sands.

That's what he'd thought until the woman seated across from him had proven otherwise. Until she'd uncovered the slivers of dormant humanity shivering beneath a deep cloak of darkness as far from the illumination as they could get. He'd discovered to his surprise that there were vestiges of life still deeply rooted in what he'd thought the barren wasteland of his soul.

"I can wait." Lisbon was surprised to realize she could, in fact, wait. Both of them could. For as long it took Jane to exit the darkness into the light.

"Thank you." There didn't seem to be anything left to say. Jane lifted her hand to his lips content he'd been given a second chance.