Chapter Seven:

I walked into my house to the smell of spaghetti coming from the kitchen. Lee was mixing cookie dough at the counter, shaking her ass to "Low Life" by Future and The Weeknd. The music was as loud as it could go and I knew that she was trying to drown out her own thoughts. Despite living together and despite me referring to her as my Old Lady, we've never actually talked about it. Every time I've asked her to get my crow tattooed, she's laughed and asked me when I'm planning on getting a girlfriend who wasn't scarred and broken. She always sounded light, like she was laughing and it didn't matter, but I knew her too well and I read her eyes. She meant it. She wanted me to find someone else because she thought she wasn't good enough anymore. I may have read several of her psychology books.

"Babe." I screamed to be heard over the music. She smiled, turning it down.

"Never waste a hoe's time, Craig." She said, referencing a lyric in the song.

"I'll do my best. What's cookin'?" I asked, sitting on a barstool she'd carefully chosen because of how similarly it looked like Victorian architecture. I got a look at her. She was wearing short denim shorts, her attempt at becoming more comfortable with the long scar running the length of her leg. But I'd be willing to bet anything she hadn't left the house today, so her attempt was never tested. She had a knife on her hip and was wearing a holster over her gray v-neck top and a gun hung in each available slot. They swung into her side every time she moved around the kitchen. She clearly expected the need to protect herself.

"Spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, a salad for me, and chocolate chip cookies." She rattled off, pointing to each item as she spoke. "I've got an excellent wine from a local vineyard, a gift from Alvarez. It's decanting as we speak." She continued, still smiling at me.

"Are we celebrating?"

"You had a hard day, I'm sure. There was another meeting with Laroy?" She asked, sweetly. I was dreading this moment.

"We've declared war." I told her. She stopped cold, the plate of food she was carrying teetering dangerously on her fingertips.

"War?"

"War."

"What is it good for?" She continued.

"Absolutely nothing." I finished, smirking a little at her joke. She didn't smile back, only narrowed her eyes even further into slits.

"Then why is it happening?" She questioned.

"Because you can't hurt SAMCRO and expect to walk away from it." I replied simply. She leveled me with one of her old glares.

"That's a bullshit answer."

"The Club has to keep up its reputation. We have to not be seen as a joke to everyone outside of Charming, or else what are we? It's been too long since revenge, and we tried the diplomatic approach but it didn't work. I'm sorry, babe, but they can't hurt you and get away with it. To me, to Jax, Clay, the rest of the guys, that's not a bullshit answer."

"I don't agree with the needless slaughter of African American men, Craig." She replied angrily, her voice low and dangerous. It was the voice of a past Riley. She'd been too meek, too eager to please and not cause waves in the last 18 months that I'd forgotten how assertive she could be. I loved that I was bringing that out of her now.

"It's not about their color, Lee. We'd do this if it was Darby or the police force or anyone else who attacked our family. You have to know that."

"I don't want anyone else to get hurt, you have to know that!" She countered. We were at an impasse, and one we'd seen before. "You didn't want me with you because you thought you were dangerous. But that's never been the truth. I've always been the dangerous one. I don't want to be bad for you, but I am." My temper was already on a short fuse. I didn't plan to go off on her, but it was the only thing that made sense to me at the time. Maybe it had been Gemma's advice that set me off. But the next thing I knew, I had trapped Lee, her back against the kitchen wall, my hands on either side of her, the platter of food separating the heat from our bodies. It only made me want her more.

"I'm never gonna let you say that about yourself ever the fuck again." I started, my voice low and dangerous to match her earlier tone. We brought the worst out in each other, for damn sure, but we also inspired the best. "It's been a shitty year and a half, I get it. But this is how the fucking world works. I'm gonna kill every single Niner that I can. I know it ain't gonna solve shit, and I know that it's not going to make you any happier, but it's what has to happen." I continued, voice still low. She hadn't taken her eyes off me, I could see her thoughts running behind her eyes. "Now, here's what going to happen. We're gonna eat this delicious meal. Then, we're going to the Clubhouse because it's Friday and there's always a party on Friday. Then Happy is gonna tattoo my crow on you, goddamn it, because you're my Old Lady and that's how this world works. Do you understand me?"

"That's how the world works?" She asked, breathless. I nodded. "We're bad for each other."

"Damn right we are. Let's eat." I sat at the head of our tiny table and waited for her to serve the food. She took her time, making each plate perfect before setting them down before us.

"Other than the meeting with Laroy, how was the day?" She asked, spinning the noodles around her fork.

"Uneventful, despite war happening. We helped move the Mayans to a different part of Oakland, closer to Stockton. Jax and I had business to handle with the Irish. The usual shit, you know." I replied, shoveling a forkful in my mouth. Nothing about today was usual, but Lee didn't need to know that. The meeting with the Irish, in which I was mostly used as muscle, was stressful and didn't end particularly well. Jax wanted out of the gun running business. Something about Riley's accident had inspired him to turn the Club as straight as he could without freaking out the power hungry Clay. Lee had told me once that in the Outlaw world, brotherhood and loyalty wasn't earned through similar interests and wearing the same leather; it was forged from steel through secrecy and deceit, common enemies, and stronger bonds than hopes and dreams. I felt that with Jax, a deep and dark bond sprouted from a poisoned seed of mutual hatred for the Niners and mutual sorrow and guilt over Riley. "What did you do?"

"Well, I cooked. And I cleaned the house. Gemma and Lyla came over to hang for a little bit. Same old same old." She replied, continuing to eat. I resisted the urge to sigh.

"Did you want to get back into healing the depraved? Because a few of the Mayans were asking about you."

"No, I'll leave that job to some other poor soul." She answered. But even as she tried to hide it, I caught the sadness in her eyes. We ate the rest of the meal in silence, the only noise the music on the speakers and the clang and twang of our forks. She put the food away and the dishes in the dishwasher before turning to me again.

"I'm gonna shower and then I'll be ready to go. Is that cool?" She asked me, putting on a brave smile.

"Wear those shorts. Or a skirt." I requested as she walked down the hallway. She stopped short, but didn't say anything. I heard the water running as I sat at the table. It took me a full 4 minutes before I got up my nerve. I hadn't had sex since the night Smurf took her from me. I'd never considered myself abstinent, but after a 4 and a half year drought I couldn't take it anymore. I left my clothes in a trail in the hallway. The steam from the shower made the bathroom foggy. She looked at me through the glass door of the shower. Her guns rested on the counter next to the sink.

"What're you doing?" She asked.

"I want you." I told her. She looked over my naked body, taking in the sight of my already erect cock.

"I can see that." She retorted, poking her head out of the shower. She continued to look at me, deciding what she'd do next. "Well come in then. And I mean that literally." She said finally, opening the door for me. The first thing I did was capture her mouth in a kiss. I worked her lips gently, mouths closed. I entangled my fingers in her hair with one hand and cupped her ass with the other. I massaged the muscle, kneading and rolling my fingers closer to her entrance. She let out a small gasp when my long middle finger brushed over her clit. I used the opportunity to stick my tongue in her mouth. I backed her into the shower wall and her hands found my dick.

"Ah." I moaned as she ran her palm over my length. "I've fucking missed you."

"Or you've missed fucking me." She countered, breathless. We worked each other with our hands and fingers until she was finally begging for me. "I need you inside me, Craig, I need it." She mewed. And I obliged, picking her up so her legs wrapped around my waist, I entered her fully and slowly. She was just as tight as I'd remembered, just as ready. The coke had always been what I needed when I needed it. If I needed to be numbed, it did it. If I needed to be hyper, it did it. If I needed to calm down, it did that. But being inside Lee was like being drugged in another way. As I pumped in and out of her, watching her eyes roll back into her head and feeling her clench around me, I thought about my first high and how it could never trump this moment. Her nails dug into the skin on my shoulders. She was losing control, and I was worried about coming too early, but this was the most perfect moment I'd had in years. And only she could make me feel everything at once.

"I love you." I whispered in her ear as I came. She came after me, tears streaming down her face as she did.

"I don't know why." She replied. "I'm broken, now."

"Baby, you were broken before." I teased. She smiled and wiped at her face with her hands. The doorbell rang loudly, breaking us from our moment.

"Who the fuck is that?" She asked, scared.

"Don't worry, baby." But I had already tensed up. I wrapped a towel around my waist and pushed my wet hair from my face. I grabbed one of the guns and took it with me to the door. I put my cut on over my bare chest and looked out the peephole. It was Jax.

"Jesus Christ, Teller. You scared the shit out of me." I said when I'd opened the door. "It's just Jax, babe." I called out to Lee.

"Tell him he's an ass hole." She answered, shutting the bathroom door.

"Y'all hadn't picked up your phones. I got worried." He explained, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Let me get dressed. We were about to head over to the Clubhouse."

"Wait!" Jax said, rather forcefully, as I had started to walk away.

"Really? Whatever you have to say can't wait until I put on some pants?" I laughed.

"I'm bringing a girl to the party. She's meeting me here first." Jax explained.

"That's great man, anyone I know?"

"Nah, y'all haven't met her. She's not from Charming. I need your help smoothing it over with Dove."

"I don't think she's going to care…" I started.

"It's a change. And I don't want her to be thrown off by it. I don't want to trigger anything."

"She's pretty preoccupied with the concept of war, so I think you'll be alright. But really though, I can't cover my dick?"

"Just help me run it by her." He almost pleaded.

"Jesus Christ, yeah, yeah I've got your back. I'm gonna get dressed now." I answered, picking up my clothes as I headed back to our bedroom. Although this is where my clothes were, I'd spent the last 18 months sleeping on the couch. I hoped that tonight, that would change. Lee was in there, shirtless, braless, and shimmying into a short black skirt that hugged every curve on her body.

"What's up with him?" She asked, nodding to the door.

"He's got a girlfriend or something and is afraid that you'll be mad when you hear about her." I shrugged, dropping the towel and grabbing a clean pair of boxers. Lee was staring at me and licking her lips.

"I'm gonna need to suck on that when we get home." She said gesturing to my groin. I smirked.

"As you wish, baby."

"He's really nervous about me liking his girlfriend?" She continued, slipping on her bra and heading to the closet. I pulled my jeans back on, and got a white SAMCRO shirt from the drawer. I pulled my wet hair into a bun at the nape of my neck. Lee re entered the bedroom wearing a light blue tank top with spaghetti straps, perfect for the summer weather.

"That's what he said. So be nice to him about it?" I asked, slipping my arms around her waist. She'd gotten thicker in the last year and a half. Her once skinny features filling out into incredibly sexy curves. She put an earring in each of the four holes in each of her ears and pulled on a chunky silver necklace.

"I'm sure she's fine." She replied, applying a tiny bit of makeup. The doorbell rang again and Jax called:

"I'll get it!"

"Oh that's probably her. I'm gonna go say hi. Hurry up!" I said smiling. She stuck her tongue out at me but appeared to accelerate her process. I heard a female laugh as soon as I entered the hallway, followed closely by Jax's tell tale chuckle. They were in the kitchen, and Jax was pouring her a glass of Alvarez's wine.

"Craig! This is Wendy, she's a bartender in Stockton."

"Hi Wendy, it's nice to meet you." I shook her hand.

"Craig's like a brother to me and Opie." Jax continued.

"I've heard a lot of great things about you, Craig." Wendy replied. She was about 5 foot 7, with big boobs and long blonde hair. She was wearing jeans and a black t shirt with a skull and crossbones on it. Her green eyes were lined with thick black liner, but her smile was gorgeous and genuine. I was running out of small talk when Lee joined us.

"Hi! I'm Riley." She announced, holding her hand out to Wendy. They shook, a little hesitantly, I noticed.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Wendy." She clung a little closer to Jax, who was staring at Wendy like the sun shone out of her ass hole. I snorted and everyone looked at me.

"My bad, I was just thinking about something Lee said earlier." I covered, lying terribly.

"How'd you and Jax meet?" Lee asked, shooting me a look.

"I stumbled into her bar last year, after everything happened. I needed a drink but she wouldn't give it to me. Made me tell her everything instead." Jax smiled, kissing Wendy on the top of the head.

"I have a knack for telling when folks need to talk. He needed to talk." She clarified, shrugging. "We've been together ever since."

"You've been together for a year! And you never told me, Jax?!" Lee cried. I cringed and tried to calm her down by bringing her closer to me, but she resisted and pulled away, marching up to Jax. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I didn't want to distract from your recovery." He said, holding his hands up in surrender.

"You're a fucking idiot, Jax. I would've been happy for you regardless." She replied, hurt. "Let's go. Our absences won't go unnoticed." She continued, sticking her knife in a holster between her legs. She marched outside, presumably to sit on my bike and wait for me.

"You know she's just hurt, right?" I told Jax and Wendy.

"Yeah I know. That doesn't make this any easier."

"I didn't think it would. I'll see you two at the garage?"

"We'll give you a head start." Jax replied as Lee honked the tiny horn on my bike. I'd awoken at three am to the sounds of the bike crashing the night she'd installed it. It hadn't even been the most surprising thing that I had awoken to in the dead of the night after the accident. About a month into her recovery, I'd been sleeping restlessly, so I'd gotten up to get a glass of water. We'd still been in Gemma's house. As my eyes adjusted the darkness, as I'd drank the water, I noticed that Lee was outside, furiously scrubbing at the concrete. When I'd approached her, her hair and eyes had been wild.

"Lee, what's going on babe?" I asked nonchalantly. She stared up at me with a vague, vacant expression that was out of sync with her furiously moving hands. I saw the sponge she was using had been reduced to a nub of absorbent whatever the fuck sponges are made of. The bucket of soapy water was tinged with red, from the blood on her raw palms. I kicked both away carefully.

"It's not clean, Craig. I couldn't sleep. I have to clean something." She explained hastily, reaching for the water bucket.

"You've gotta get back inside, sweetheart." I responded, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"No. I have to clean something, Craig." She responded, her voice cracking when she said my name. For the first time in our relationship, and for what I hoped would be the last, I took away her human given right to make this decision for herself. I couldn't let her clean until she bled, so I scooped her up and brought her inside. Her screams awoke Jax, who helped me coax her into taking her prescribed pain pills. I'd thought about taking some myself, but she needed it more. Once she was asleep, I'd travelled around Stockton to all of the Mayan territory, looking for blow. I came across Alejandro and Javi, who recognized me immediately.

"We ain't sellin that shit to you bro." Javi said when I'd told him why I'd risked my life to find him.

"We like Dove too much." Alejandro explained as he took out a joint from his pocket.

"You have to. I just need an hour in a different world." I begged.

"Nah, Gigante. That girl needs both of your feet firmly on the ground, not up in a cocaine cloud. You'll thank us later." Javi responded, taking a couple puffs of the joint before offering it to me. I took two puffs, passed to Alejandro, and got back on my bike. Lee was sound asleep when I got back, her hands bandaged carefully. I slept propped against her door that night, and for many nights the following months.