Sapphire
Chapter VII (final chapter)
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.
A/n: I'm sorry that this has taken so long, but my classes have kept me busy. But anyway, here it is, the final chapter of Sapphire. This one is long, but I think that it's good. I hope that everyone enjoys it.
Shuichi raised his head and blinked his eyes. It took the young singer a few moments to remember where he was and what had happened. And when he did remember...
"Oh my god," Shuichi murmured nervously, "What the hell do I do now?
Shuichi pushed himself up into a sitting position and glanced around. He then breathed a quiet sigh of relief; Ryuichi was not currently in the room.
"What the hell have I gotten myself into? I just slept with THE Ryuichi Sakuma, but I love Yuki, don't I?"
Shuichi sighed again. Before last night, whenever people asked him if he loved Yuki, he would look at them like they were crazy. He would answer them that, yes of course he loved Yuki. Before last night, he would never have said that he could love anyone else. But now, Shuichi wasn't so sure that he could say that. Ryuichi was in the picture now. What were his feelings for the older singer? Shuichi adored Ryuichi, there was on doubt about that, but did he truly love Ryuichi?
Shuichi flopped back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He lay there for a few moments, just trying to clear his mind. Finally, he decided that he needed to get up and go find Ryuichi, though he had no idea what he was going to say to the older singer.
"Damn..." Shuichi mumbled, "what the hell do I do?" He sighed again, and reopened his eyes. He sat back up and looked around again. This time, his eyes landed on a pile of clothes and a sheet of paper lying in Ryuichi's desk chair.
Shuichi kicked the covers back and padded quietly over to the desk. The note was addressed to him, so, of course, he began to read:
Shuichi,
Here are some clothes that you can wear. Feel free to take a shower if you want to.
Did that mean that Ryuichi wasn't here? Did Ryuichi not want to see him? Did the older man hate him now? Shuichi shook his head, no, that couldn't be right.
Suddenly something occurred to Shuichi; why did those questions bother him like they did? Was it merely because Ryuichi was his idol, or was there something more to it?
Shuichi shook his head, gathered up his clothes, and went to take his shower.
Ryuichi sighed. He was sitting at the counter in the kitchen with his head down. One arm was slung over his head, and the other was playing with the handle of his coffee cup.
Ryuichi felt terrible for putting Shuichi in the situation that he had, but he had to say something. Ryuichi knew that he would never forgive himself if he had the chance to tell Shuichi and simply allowed it to slip away. However, Ryuichi was also aware that he had put Shuichi in a difficult, strenuous situation.
Ryuichi knew that Shuichi loved Yuki, but the older singer couldn't overlook the author's cold treatment of Shuichi.
Ryuichi raised his head when he heard Shuichi enter the kitchen. Ryu quickly forced a smile onto his face.
"Good morning, Shuichi. I guess you found the clothes that I laid out for you." Ryuichi's eyes slid over Shuichi. Judging by the other's wet hair, he had decided to take a shower as well.
Shuichi nodded and began to speak.
"Good morning, Ryuichi. Yeah, I found them. Oh, and I decided to take a shower, too." Shuichi rubbed his arm unconsciously, nervous under Ryuichi's steady, calm gaze.
It was Ryuichi's turn to nod. He could actually see the younger singer's nervousness in his actions. Ryuichi wasn't exactly sure how to address this type of thing, and apparently neither was Shuichi. Finally, Ryuichi sighed and spoke up.
"Come here and sit down, Shuichi. We need to talk and you know it."
Shuichi nodded and moved to sit across from Ryuichi at the counter. He lowered his head and closed his eyes. Shuichi knew Ryuichi expected him to start, but he wasn't sure how. He looked back up.
"I'm just confused so confused, Ryuichi. I have no idea what to do. I think that I love Yuki, but I think that I might love you, too. Like I said, I'm really confused."
Ryuichi was silent for a moment, and then he sighed. This was going to take a bit of work to straighten out, more so than even he had expected.
"Look Shuichi, this is your call. And don't think that I'm trying to put you in a painful situation, because I'm not. I want this to be your decision and yours alone. I don't want anyone else to influence it, but I do ask that you consider the way that Yuki often treats you."
Shuichi had known that last part was coming. He knew that Yuki was, more often than not, cruel to him. Then, there was Ryuichi. The older singer had never been anything but kind to him, and, in fact, Ryuichi had often tried to help Shuichi. Then, something else occurred to Shuichi.
"Ryuichi...last night, you said that you loved me. Is that true?
"Yes."
Shuichi was a little surprised. Ryuichi had answered without any hesitation whatsoever. What also surprised Shuichi was the comforting feeling it gave him.
"You sat that without any hesitation, but why? I'm just...," he looked back down.
Ryuichi narrowed his eyes slightly. He had a feeling he knew what Shuichi was trying to say.
"You're just what?"
"Well, it's just that, I mean...you're Ryuichi Sakuma and..."
"You think that I wouldn't love you because of that? Do you think that I'm that vain and that shallow?" Ryuichi's voice came out a little harsher than he meant for it to.
Shuichi stammered, a bit taken back.
"Uh, no Ryuichi, that's not what I meant. I just meant...well, never mind."
"It's nothing that you have to worry about, Shuichi. I've never cared about other people think! I don't give a damn, and neither should you. You're always trying to please Yuki. You ask yourself, 'Will this upset Yuki?' or 'What will Yuki say?' You shouldn't have to worry about that, no one should. If someone loves you, it shouldn't matter!"
Ryuichi paused for a moment, and Shuichi could sense that there was something more the older man wanted to say.
"Ryuichi," he began softly, "what is it that you're not telling me?"
It was another moment or two before Ryuichi began to speak. Finally, he nodded.
"Alright. I've told you I love you, but that's about all I've said. I actually have reasons though; it's not just something that I've decided to do on a whim. I enjoy being around you, I love your personality, and watching you makes me happier than you could know. I want to be with you Shuichi."
"But there's something else that you're still not telling me."
"You can understand me Shuichi."
Shuichi frowned. It was obvious that he was being told something important, but contrary to what Ryuichi said, Shuichi did no understand. Sensing this, Ryu continued.
"What I mean, is that you can understand how I feel. We've gone through similar things. Everything that we do, whether we want it to or not, makes the front page of the tabloids. And, as for me, everyone always treats me so differently. I can't tell who my real friends are. I can't tell if they treat me well because of me or just because of my name. You're one of the few people that I can trust. You don't expect me to be something or act a certain way. You have no idea how much that means to me."
Shuichi was shocked to say the least. He had no idea that Ryuichi trusted him so much. He glanced across the counter at the older singer. Ryuichi had his head in his hands and was staring downwards at the counter. Shuichi decided to pose another question.
"Does that mean that you don't really enjoy singing?"
Ryuichi glanced up at him, looking slightly surprised. Then, looking somewhat sad, he smiled and shook his head.
"No, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy singing. I love singing; I just don't like the fact that it has to come with a price. I hate not knowing who my real friends are. But, like I said, I love singing. I've always had a passion for music," Ryuichi finished his statement with another smile, though this one was different. This time, Ryuichi looked amused. Shuichi, who had finally come to understand what Ryuichi was saying, was once again confused. This only seemed to further amuse Ryuichi.
"Do you remember what I said to Suguru yesterday? You remind me of myself when Nittle Grasper first started. I thought that the first time I saw your picture." He became serious again. "I honestly think that was when I fell in love with you Shuichi. I was certain that I felt something, I just wasn't sure what it was at the time."
Shuichi looked down at the counter as Ryuichi fell silent. He knew the feeling that was being described to him. He was pretty sure that it was the same feeling he had since sometime last night.
Realization washed over Shuichi. He had been confusing his feelings: admiration, respect, love. He had been unsure of what was what, but now he knew.
"Ryuichi, I think I understand now."
Ryuichi gave Shuichi a questioning look. He steeled himself for the rejection that he figured was coming. He was surprised when Shuichi stood up and walked around the counter. Ryuichi watched as the younger singer came to stand beside him and motioned for him to stand. Still wondering what was about to happen, Ryuichi complied.
Shuichi watched as Ryuichi stood up and turned to face him. He could see the confusion in Ryuichi's stunning sapphire eyes. Shuichi smiled and wrapped his arms around the older man.
"I'm staying Ryuichi. I'm staying...and I love you."
Shuichi pulled away slightly to watch Ryuichi's expression. First, it was a look of astonishment, then Ryuichi's lovely face took on a look of warm affection.
"Really?"
"Yeah, really." Shuichi watched as Ryuichi smiled.
"I love you too, Shuichi, so much." And with that, Ryuichi pulled Shuichi into a warm, gentle kiss.
THE END
A/n: I would just like to say one more thing: I was originally hesitant about posting this fic, but once I read my reviews, I was glad that I decided to post it. This was my first multi-chapter, and I'm very proud of it.
As always, love,
Mayuuya-chan
