Update, update! I'm a little wary of this one to be honest but I still quite like what I've done with it! It's a little longer than the others (or at least in my head space) hope that's okay Thank you for your lovely support on this, hugs for you all!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All rights go to RTD for Torchwood and Shane Brennan for L.A
Dedicated to the people in Orlando killed this week along with others killed meaninglessly through lack of gun control and bigoted idiots. My heart goes out to them all even if it's not much. Please never doubt to be yourself or let anyone dictate who you should and shouldn't love. Stay as safe you can, let's keep holding each other closer with each passing day something new like this comes to light.
With best wishes for the future and love. The Squiglet. Xx
"I'm sorry, I think I may have misheard you there for a sec, what did you just say? Because I thought you said you wanted to live past the age of 30? I mean do you know crazy that sounds, how crazy you sound right now? Living past 30 is not in anyone's leading goal books surely"
"You are over 30 or at least bang on it though, right Eric? What possible clause could you have for this feat? And maybe you could, uh, tell uh what uh, lead to you only telling us this now? Were you ever going to? Thinking that maybe one day you'd go and leave us worrying about you, to leave us searching up and down the whole of L.A until one day we realised just like Dom, you'd be missing and killed in action" Nate's voice had turned colder with each passing sentence. But by the time he had mentioned Dom so had the room. Eric's eyes glazed with anger and frostbite all in one.
"I think that's a little too far, don'tcha think Nate? But like any other doctor I know, you've probably got more questions than answers inside right now and you need me to answer every single one of them. So go ahead. Finish it off. Finish off your thoughts Nate only I thought you said I didn't need a defensive launch missile and that you happened to be on my side in every way here"
"Eric, just because I found out something about your past and now you just so happen to be so concerned about us and the protection we've been offering doesn't mean you should be throwing it back in our face. Why, is that what Jack and Torchwood do?"
"Answer your questions Nate. You and I both know we're two of the smartest people in the room here because of our jobs. Not to put down the others but you know we both need a system. C'mon Nate, we're losing time with each passing minute. Please?"
"Were you having second thoughts about coming to us before you left? Would you have come to us if you didn't know about your 30's gamble?"
"Course I did, who doesn't before they go into a new thing after what they've been used to for so many years? Maybe, even without the 30's gamble as you call it, it was still a dangerous game to play and be in"
"Eric, we don't need the entire story now but exactly happened during your time there?" -
"That's bull and you know it Nate! He's not being honest with us in the slightest. In fact I bet he hasn't ever been. Something tells me that this is the real him. Jaded and all. So come on then Eric Beale, tell us something real. Give us the real you because I don't know about you but I'd rather have something more than half a story wrapped in half a secret which keeps flicking between stories of people he was and people he knew. I'd never have expected this to become of you Eric. I'd never have thought of you to be this untrustworthy person of a man. Yet here we are" Callen fumed with his arms having made his way to his chest now folded to show Eric he meant business.
Eric however was now letting his L.A side show more as he fumbled his way through his words exaggerating how much they all meant to him here. He needed for them to trust him, this was more than he ever thought he'd get when he was younger. He needed to keep it.
"Guys, Callen, come on. You know me. You always have, you know me"
"No we don't Eric, that's kinda the point"
Eric huffed before taking in a deep breath himself. He couldn't believe his life had come to this. It just went to show the past would always catch up with you, no matter how many times you ran away from it.
Okay they wanted a full on truthful answer than that is what they would get. The amount of things he had revealed already was horrifying enough, Jack was more than likely to kill him or catapult him through the rift if this sort of thing kept up. But this was...this was his family, his ever growing family. Some things needed to change. Maybe letting them know this one thing was part of it. Letting them inside his Torchwood side or again just a small part of it. While he'd been thinking this, they'd all been staring at him disconcertingly. When they heard a small hum come from the OPS man they all stared - well more Sam glared and the others just stared - waiting for the man to speak.
"Okay. You want to prove that putting your trust in me is paying off and has paid off since I came here to OSP. What's to say you don't afterwards? Not to put more of a damper on things but something tells me I couldn't handle that sort of thing right now, anymore than I could originally"
"Woah Eric man, time to calm down. Just tell us clearly - very clearly -what you meant about leaving your old job to coming here and living past the age of 30, you are over 30..right?"
"Yyy-yeah. No. I was at Torchwood from when I was 23 to when I was 26 which is the age when I came to work for you guys and I'm 28 now coming up to being 29 in a couple of months time. It's hanging over my head every time it gets closer. I wish it'd leave but it just won't"
"Yes we gathered Mr Beale but you still happen to be dodging our question - and very well I might add - but much like other things that have come to pass about you we can discuss later. For now however what we are trying to get answered by process of elimination is just why exactly you left before turning 30, what the big deal is with it and why you happen to be scared of even thinking this. Now the real honest answer if you please?"
"Just one of the many perks of being a Torchwood operative. For everyone in the galaxy, turning 30? Not a big deal. Done and dusted but for us? Let's just say I'd be very surprised to make it. I wouldn't wish this sort of twisted fate on anyone even those people we have on lock-down. There are things about my past I wish I could leave behind. Guess my past is just one of them"
"Yeah we heard already. Look you going to tell us finally or what exactly? I don't need a sob story to compensate or add to your new forming persona" Sam was getting agitated now.
"Oh sorry, I can't just switch it off like a machine because unless you hadn't guessed, I'm not one! - Eric yelled louder than he had meant to but realising this he stumbled on his words again with his eyes widened - God, I'm..i'm so sorry, I never meant to yell like that. Maybe all those late night games are finally getting to me" He finished as a half joke which thanks to the mood in the room fell sadly flat.
"We're all exhausted just listening to your voice which has never been like this since we've been able to know you. Just say what you're afraid to so we can finally move on from this and get back to where we're needed, please Eric" Kensi motioned grasping her hands together and pushing them forwards towards her friend.
"How are we misunderstanding each other? I just wanted to live past the age of 30, that's all. As we all know from countless times, living past means sorta not dying. Well, trying not to anyways. I wanted to live well into my golden ages, y'know late 80's, early 90's but uh that means kinda making it through these crucial years first severely unharmed or through instant obtainable death and even then I'd still have to look into research to find the best places to vacay in hell.
"Sorry to butt in here but uh, what?! Hell?" Deeks chimed in his face falling in shock much like the rest.
"I've done some things, mostly bad. Kinda thing you can't come back from"
"Sure everyone has, no one can actually call themselves a fully fledged 'saint' as it stands but already condemning yourself to hell - a lifetime of eternal hell - because you did a few bad things? Eric that's nuts! And if there's one personality trait you don't happen to have, it's that. We do this because of our job not because of who we are. Don't take yourself down like that"
"So you'd think and I appreciate and value your concerns but again, I uh might have without any offence to you guys of course - I might happen to have a bit more of a worldly view, when that happens it tends to include more than your average shooter games or even the reaches of this job. I've actually accepted the fate to be honest however I dread to figure out whether the others will be joining me there, I hope they go towards the brighter lights with their pasts they more than deserve it but who can say. Turns good people to do bad but all the while neccessary things"
"Ss-so what? Now we've covered all that up, what I want to know is if there are any rules to go with it? Are we affected by this or anything Torchwood at all?"
- "Yeah we could find like a cheat code or something?!" Nell all of a sudden piped up from her area of the room looking hopeful.
"Oh for God's sake! Woah I just sounded like our very dashing unlikely hero himself. Remind me to stop hanging around him so often otherwise it'll keep happening and I can't honestly have that on my conscience. I..will stop now. Sorry Hetty. Sorry guys. Ehem. No rules I guess apart from that one. Jack hasn't told us any otherwise. Just the extremely obtainable death thing"
"How on earth are you able to be so calm about this?"
"Had a lot of time to get used to it. Is that, uh, all you needed?"
"No but it's a start" Callen nodded unfolding his arms a little.
Jack and co had entered back into the room not wanting to let it be any further than they had already forgoing sleep like usual while sensing the mood of the room. Jack's attention stepped right up to Eric knowing he was more than likely the cause for it. God damn it, what had he said? He sent a half glare towards his young charge to let him know that this would only be a one time thing especially if he found out he had told them something big, he knew he wouldn't have told them the real truth about who they were and what they did but he could have let some things slip through the vine unintentionally due to the stress and pressure of it all. Within the glare he made sure to send the message of 'anything else you say to do with us now has to go through me first' to which Eric had gaped before stuttering at him.
"But wait, seriously? Jack, c'mon it was the simplest thing, you can't take me down for that? Jack? Jack?" Eric noting Jack had started to distance himself from the groups into a completely separate corner of the room, moved to the same place himself steeling himself for the talk down he was most likely about to have. This just wasn't good on the nerves besides he hated any of his who he deemed friends being mad at him.
"So he clicks his fingers and Eric just follows?" Kensi asked still trying to digest the over 30 rule sending a few choice glares towards the people who had caused Eric hurt in the past.
"And without any jokes or ramblings either. Did that earlier too. Straight to the point" Sam finished off the conversation as their ears picked up on the harsher American's voice clearly ending a hushed discussion.
"No Eric. No. No more ifs, no more buts, no more of any of that. You knew for a fact I didn't give you any clearance even for this. It was imperative we didn't freak any of them out or give anything away apart from what we told them earlier. You've done this before, I remember. It's why you were one of our best, why you fit in. It's also why I don't want you to betray my trust like this again" With that Jack stepped away from the man whose eyes just rolled after him even if his cheeks were flushed a little and storming off as an extra flourish. He motioned for the rest of Torchwood to follow him out of the building to which they all nodded to Eric half smiling before doing so. Tosh had sneakily while leaving given Eric's tablet back to him after taking it to..update it.
All the OSP tech could do was now sigh deeply, take off his glasses and rub his eyes, he should have known Jack would be on his case constantly berating him even for the minor things like the person he knew him to be. He'd tried his hardest to tell OSP something about himself. Putting the glasses back on, glancing to the side he saw his team noting how horrified they all looked at treating another team member like the Torchwood leader had. Sure they all let loose at each other but they kept calm and collected, kept personal matters out of the dressing down if it happened and with no malice. Here was a man who just did all of that in one go.
Fully turning to face them all he shrugged deciding to not let Jack's words affect him too badly, the amount of times this happened between any of them and now that he knew Jack wasn't upset, just his usual self he hadn't felt as bad as he might have. Eric and the others were just so, so used to it.
"Jack's always had a flair for the dramatic
