(A/N: Oh. My. God. This was soo much fun to write, you have no idea. I love the style I wrote in, it's amusing as all hell. Da na na! I'm feeling crackish today, and I'm having a blast writing this crazy shit.
I'm thinking I need a writer's blog-ish thing so that I can keep track of what you guys want to see, and who's requested what. Maybe I just need to start physically writing all this shit down! Either way, keep the reviews coming, and the requests! I appreciate those of you that review on every single damn chapter, even when I've put out like, 10, but I understand how hard it can be to write reviews after all, I suck at them myself, but I'm getting better! and I guess it's okay if you only review a handful of chapters. Still, it's so awesomely gratifying to see what you guys think of this, and to be honest, your reviews are what keep me writing. I'm ALWAYS looking forward to that little thing in my inbox.
Okay, okay, I'm done with all of that, now the thanks. Thanks again goes to CO Raven for suggesting this to me! Thank you much!!)
Secret Satisfaction
Kurosaki Ichigo couldn't comprehend exactly why Hinamori Momo had journeyed to the living world.
He eventually ran the things he had overheard through his brain enough to decide that Momo had come to the living world for the sole purpose of irritating the hell out of him and everyone else in the living world.
That, and the fact that she had wanted to see Shiro-chan in person. Ichigo just couldn't get over that nickname, and made a note to call Hitsugaya Taicho, 'it's Hitsugaya Taicho dammit!' that whenever he got the chance. Naturally, this resulted in conflict every time, but Ichigo couldn't say that he minded it all too much.
The sole purpose of her visit, as previously stated, was to irritate the hell out of everyone within a thirty-five kilometer radius of her. Her whining about Aizen Taicho and how great he was, and how he had to be so troubled, and how it wasn't his fault, but Gin's fault, because Gin is so evil made Ichigo want to slice her head off after beating her all to hell. Of course, he kept these thoughts to himself.
Zangetsu silently concurred while Ichigo's inner hollow made his concurrence not so silent.
Kill the whiny bitch, Ichigo! You know she deserves it.
This led Ichigo to believe that the vizards were a bunch of cracked out fools who hadn't done anything but to teach him how to use a mask that would lead to his inevitable destruction.
Pfft, like he cared. If he really wanted to know the answers to his questions, he'd have to grow a pair and talk to Shinji about it.
Ichigo couldn't really see him having a heart to heart with Shinji about his inner hollow.
The thing that really set Ichigo off was an occurrence after school one day. Momo happened to corner him on his walk home, and she attempted to talk him into a few things.
"You're going to Hueco Mundo to fight again, right?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure."
"Will you do something for me? Save Aizen Taicho for me. I know he did something really bad, but I know it's not really him! Someone must have put him under a spell. I bet it was Ichimaru Taicho!"
Ichigo thought it was all bull shit.
"Yeah right. I'm not doing shit to save that bastard."
"But it wasn't his fault! He's not himself, something's wrong!" Momo pleaded with him, her eyes round. Ichigo groaned and cracked his knuckles, desperately trying to keep a hold of his rising homicidal urges. "Please! You're strong enough to help him, I just know it!"
Yeah, Momo definitely wasn't helping his situation. Ichigo couldn't stand that Aizen bastard, and this Aizen worshipping snip was turning out to be twice as irritating as the slick, cruel man could ever be.
Her moaning and whining set Ichigo's homicidal urges raging, and he could not understand how Hitsugaya Taicho put up with her. He supposed she had long since given up trying to convince him that Aizen was actually good, and it wasn't his fault, and there are others to blame. Somehow, she had realized that convincing the diminutive captain was futile.
How she ever managed to deduce that Ichigo would be more easily convinced was even more beyond the orange-haired kid. Her grumblings about how he wasn't paying attention to a word she was saying irritated him, and without warning, his hands shot out, enveloping her throat in a suffocating vice grip.
"Shut the hell up!" he snarled, glaring fiercely at her. Secretly, he was relieved that they happened to be in an uninhabited area. His grip tightened and tightened until she was squirming and could not make a single sound. The only noises she could make were rasping and wheezing struggling sounds.
She flailed in his grasp, utterly helpless even though she had not acquired a gigai. Ichigo was strong even in his human form, and he had weapons for hands. His eyes gleamed with hatred and exhilaration as slowly, her struggling body fell limp, and her last breath left her.
With a smirk of satisfaction, Ichigo let the corpse drop to the ground, dusting his hands off and walking away. As if anyone would ever notice that the fifth squad Fukutaicho was gone.
