Chapter 8: Cold Nights, Warm Hearts
Ran stared at the now disappearing island as their boat sped off back to the hotel's shore. The trip back was more turbulent because the wind was much stronger at night, but Ran didn't mind that. She was more concerned about the three people who were not with them in that boat, namely Aya, Rei and Yuuya.
They've been looking for Aya for the past 20 minutes, shouting her name and dispersing, the helps and the guide had already checked the trail but there was no sign of her. Perhaps she got lost, they said.
"Ms. Mami, we really have to get going, the winds will only get stronger as the night comes closer," insisted the guide. All of the equipment and utensils have been packed into one boat. It was nearing 6pm.
"We can't leave Aya behind!" Ran said irritated.
"I know that, Ran," said Yamato, carrying a hungry Yuri. "But they're right, it will be impossible to travel using these boats out to sea. They won't withstand the waves!"
"But still!"
Rei had gone missing as well. Just a few minutes ago he took one of the emergency flashlights and went inside the forest.
"Calm down, Ran," said Mami. "The locals have proposed that the rest of us go back and they'll stay behind to look for Aya with Rei. When we get back to the hotel, they'll send a speedboat that can traverse the waves. Yuuya also volunteered to be left behind. What do you, say?"
Ran hesitated. "I'll stay behind too."
"It's too dangerous for a lot of us to stay behind, might not fit the speedboat," informed the guide.
Miyu placed a hand over her friend's shoulder, "Ran, let's leave it to Rei and Yuuya. They won't let anything happen to Aya."
There's nothing left for them to do but hope for the best. The boat they were on was solemn, everyone there worried for their friends no matter how the locals assured them they'll be okay.
Rei arrived back to shore carrying on his back a tired-looking, red-eyed Aya. When Yuuya caught a glimpse of her left ankle he understood why Aya was not able to get back to shore, it was red and has gotten really swollen. She couldn't possibly have walked with that foot.
Rei laid her down on the long table that was left behind and one of the help luckily knew how to apply first aid. He took out one of the folding chairs that was already in the boat and sat in front of Aya, letting her injured foot rest on his lap as he began placing some ice (that was left over from the cooler) in a towel for a couple of minutes around her swollen foot and then eventually wrapping it tight with bandage. Rei left her side and walked several meters down the shore finally settling down in an area by sitting down and staring ahead.
Yuuya stayed beside her asking her what happened and explaining to her the situation with the boats and the rest of the gang. Aya understood why the rest had to go ahead and felt bad for making her friends worry about her and causing all these inconveniences.
She took a look at Rei who seemed distant from the world. "He was so worried about you, you know?" said Yuuya who caught her staring. "He literally grabbed a flashlight and ran into the woods the moment the guides said you might have gotten lost in there."
"The first thing he did was get mad at me," Aya huffed a laugh.
"That's his way of showing his worry," replied Yuuya.
She sighed.
"You're still special to him, you know?" Yuuya said, now also looking at his brown-haired friend at the distance. "Even though you're not together anymore. He'll always care for you… of course he'll have a strange way of showing it."
"Then what will I do?" the raven-haired beauty looked at her friend with a sad smile.
He turned to look at her, waiting for what she'll say.
"How will I stand by my resolve if he keeps acting that way?" she continued. "How can I unlove him if he keeps doing things like this? Right after I tell myself to let him go…"
Yuuya paused. "Can you ever unlove someone? I think that even if you let the person you love go, you still love them. By letting go, you're just accepting the fact that you can't be with them, not right now at least, or that you're not what they need at the moment," he said, pausing before he continued. "Maybe in time you can fall out of love with a person, that the affection you once felt will fade. But you can't unlove them. There's no undoing the love you've already given to them and the love that you've received. Well, that's what I think."
Aya broke away from his gaze and stared out the distant sea. "I've been waiting so long already," she smiled as if it was ironic. "How much longer until I fall out of love with him?"
Yuuya placed a hand on her should reassuringly. "Just stay strong, Aya… You'll get the happiness you deserve."
Ran was sitting by the shore, her arms resting on her knees, her eyes fixated on the endless blackness beyond the sea. She hadn't changed into something warmer despite the chilly night as she was still wearing her orange summer dress from earlier. She has been having the feeling of regret down the pit of her stomach ever since they got back even though they've already informed the rescuers to prepare the speedboat to retrieve their friends. They were just getting the speedboat ready, before they drag it out to sea, making sure they had first aid kits, some blankets, fuel and a working navigation. Of course, helping speed up the process was Mami shouting at her staff to rescue her fiancé.
They receive a radio message from the guide that was left behind informing them that Aya had been found and that she sprained her ankle. Nonetheless, it didn't keep Ran from worrying about her friends. After all, anything can still happen.
All of a sudden she felt warmer around her arms, the chilly wind blocked from her body, and she realized that a blanket was being wrapped around her. She turned around and saw the blond-haired Tatsuki there. She didn't say anything and neither did he. He sat a good meter from her, his legs pulled up to the point where his elbows can rest atop his knees.
They were silent for a while. His sudden appearance confused Ran, causing her to momentarily forget about the program at hand. But when she looked at him, Tatsuki was just staring out to the sea which brought her back to the reality that her friends were still out there.
"You should stop worrying," he finally broke the silence and in straight voice. "They'll be okay. Aya will be okay, Rei is with her."
This is the first time they actually talked in too long.
"Are you… okay?" he asked.
His sudden concern stunned Ran. "Y-yeah," was the best she could muster. "T-thanks by the way, for this blanket."
Tatsuki nodded.
"Are we…" Ran began, seeing the opportunity to bring it up. "Are we okay, Tatsukichi?"
Ran noticed how he winced upon hearing his nickname. "Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"
Ran looked down, placing her hands to her sides playing with the sand.
"It's been a long time, after all," Tatsuki added. "I've already moved on."
"Yeah, I can see that," she muttered grudgingly. She then turned to face him, her face resting "Have you… have you forgiven me?"
"Let's not talk about it now, Ran," was his quick response.
"No, let's," said Ran sternly as she changed her body position to face him. "We're here now and you're finally talking to me, so let me ask you what I've been wanting to ask you."
Tatsuki faced her, annoyed. "Ran, just drop the issue!"
"No!" she was gaining courage on momentum.
Tatsuki turned away, refusing to answer.
"Just answer me, please," she begged, but no response. Tatsuki groaned.
"Please, Tatsukichi!"
And he winced once again at the nickname he once found endearing because it came from her. He turned to face her, a hint of annoyance and anger in his eyes.
"Fine, you want to know?" he snapped. "To be honest, Ran, no. I haven't. I don't know how I could forgive you for what you did. And sometimes when I don't want to see you because I'm reminded of everything! Sometimes I just want you to feel just how much you hurt me. Are you happy now?"
This took Ran by surprise as well, jerking back at his sudden response. Unconsciously tears were falling from her eyes. Tatsuki saw this and regretted his outburst. He was about to reach his hand out to comfort her but decided against it.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, breaking from her gaze and once again stared back at see. "I didn't mean to—"
"Is that why you brought her to this trip," she asked bluntly. "To hurt me?"
He was stunned at her question, but responded quickly. "I didn't intend for you to get hurt with what I said, Ran. Really, I didn't. And I didn't bring Suzura to hurt you either. I brought her here because I wanted her to meet my friends," he took a deep breath. "I told you to let it go, but you kept pushing. So I answered you honestly. I didn't mean to sound harsh, I'm sorry."
The tears wouldn't stop flowing, all the bravery she had earlier gone. "I'm… I'm… I'm so sorry, Tatsukichi… for everything… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed.
Tatsuki turned to face her, but she couldn't identify the look in his eyes because the tears were preventing her from getting a clear view.
"I'm so sorry. I can't be sorry enough… for hurting you, I'm so sorry."
"Ran, stop—"
"I'm so sorry," she said one last time before standing up and running back to the hotel.
He didn't chase after her. He felt bad for the words that he had said. He really didn't want to hurt her. No matter what she did to him, no matter what pain she put him through, he could never manage to hurt her intentionally.
Aya sat on the sand by the shore, Yuuya helped her settle down and he went back to talking to the guide about how long it'll take for the speedboat to get to them. She stretched out the leg with the sprained ankle, her other legged propped up at an angle. She leaned back, her arms preventing her from completely lying down on the sand.
She looked at the stars contemplating how long and eventful this day turned out to be. From the boat ride, to the lunch, to her small little trek, to her time alone, to getting lost and injured, and to getting rescued by Rei, when he caught her in his arms. Remembering his touch sent shivers down her body.
Aya closed her eyes and remembered how tight and secure his grip felt when he prevented her from falling. And she recalled how firm his chest was, and how he smelled like, how mesmerizing his brown eyes were even though it was dark, and how his face was so close to her, almost…
Stop! Oh my god, what are you doing, Aya? Get a grip. She mentally slapped herself.
And then she sighed and closed her eyes again. Her thoughts trailing back to where they left off.
The look on his eyes, she has never seen him so worried about her. They stared at each other for a while, and he said something he couldn't remember because looking at his eyes, she forgot everything else, even the pain from her throbbing ankle. Then, out of the blue, she felt a force push her against him, her chest pressed against his. Her eyes wide, realizing how his right hand rested on the small of her back and his left hand wrapped over her left shoulder. He was embracing her, and the touch of his skin on hers felt electric, yet at the same time warm, and she almost can't feel the cold wind blowing.
Her face was buried around his neck, and she could feel his chin resting on the left side of her head. She could smell him, and it was just like she remembered. He felt his heart beating fast, or was that hers? She couldn't tell, but she loved –
She slapped her face a little with both her hands, trying to remove the flush of red that had crept up to her face.
"What are you doing?" Rei, who was suddenly behind her, asked.
She turned around, thanking the darkness for preventing her blush to be seen. "Nothing, nothing," she said.
Rei then took a seat by her side. "How's your ankle?"
"It's fine, I can't move it so it doesn't really hurt anymore."
"Good."
There was silence.
"Thank you, by the—"
"About what you said last night," Rei interrupted her, taking Aya by surprise. "Do you mean it? Will you really," he tried to find the words, "let me go?"
Aya was speechless.
"Rei," said Aya, looking at Rei, before she was cut off again.
"What if I don't want you to," he said, almost like a whisper, his eyes still not meeting hers.
END
