I'm way too excited today not to post this. Hope you like it!

Beta credits to Jules ;)


No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

::::::::::

She could not remember the last time she had been this tired. Not only physically —she had toured a ship to meet the captains and assess their situation—, but she was also emotionally drained. Each ship came with its own problems, and worst of all, even orphans. Orphans would be a common occurrence now, like that little girl in the botanical ship— Cami, dreaming of chicken pie on Caprica City. If her grandmother didn't make it...

Laura closed her eyes, and indulged herself in what was the first quiet moment she had had since the attacks. Lee was busy rounding up his engineering survey and had taken Val to assist him, though she wondered if it was to make her daughter feel useful for the time being rather than him needing actual help. She smiled at the thought— her children had grown so much. They were adults now, both of them— which would make it easier for her to leave. Her own soon-to-be orphans, like many in these ships...

She swallowed heavily and blinked several times to push the tears away. She should be grateful to get these months with them, when most of humanity didn't—

"Uhm..." Lee cleared his throat, and Laura smiled in greeting when he came into her line of view and got seated in front of her, focusing on the distraction instead of her morbid thoughts. "Message from Lieutenant Valerii, she found a fuel refinery ship. Filled with tyllium." He grinned as he finished reading the paper and looked up.

"Oh, good. About time we caught a break. So that brings us up to what? Eighty ships so far? Not bad for a few hours work."

Lee chuckled. "No, sir. But only about sixty of those ships have faster-than-light capabilities." She nodded as he spoke and leaned her weight over the armrest of her seat. "We should start transferring people off the sub-light's and onto the FTL's as soon as possible."

"Alright," she agreed. She was eager to go to Ragnar as quickly as they could, as the longer they stayed without a battlestar nearby, the longer the ships were like sitting ducks for the Cylons. Her discussion with Commander Adama was something she didn't look forward to— but it was a necessity. "We can start right away, the Cylons could be back at any time. Make it happen, Captain," she ordered.

"Yes, sir."

Lee got up, nodded in her direction and left for the comm system in the cockpit. Laura closed her eyes again, only for an instant— and shot them open at the sound of anxious movements; her son was barely at the passageway when one of the pilots, Billy and Doral came through the door. Given the paleness staining her aide's face, Laura's mind was on alert immediately and she moved towards them as well, her arms tightly crossed in front of her.

"Madam President, a Cylon raider jumped in!" The pilot spoke quickly, icing her insides at the prospect. "Lieutenant Valerii tried to jam the signal, but it definitely scanned us before it jumped." Laura's face fell as she stared at the man, taking the words in. She then looked at Lee.

"We have to go. Now. Cylons will be here any minute." Lee's voice was resolute as he looked back at her, evidently asking her to follow his advice this time. Laura took a deep breath, feeling sick all of a sudden— twenty ships couldn't make the jump.

"Will they be able to track us through a jump?" she asked as calmly as she could muster, even though she already knew the answer. Twenty ships—

"No, sir; it's impossible."

"Theoretically impossible," she corrected automatically; Bill Adama had taught her that. If they led the Cylons to Galactica... they could all die. But if they jumped to somewhere else besides Ragnar to fool them, they could all die as well. Either way, at least the battlestar would put up a fight, and some protection was better than none. Her dreadful conversation with her ex-husband would be coming sooner than expected.

"Theoretically." Lee nodded, his eyes meeting hers in silent communication. It was obvious they were thinking the same thing—

"Madam President, there are still thousands of people aboard the sub-light ships," Doral interrupted, propelling himself into the conversation. Laura gave him a hard look; did he think she wasn't aware of that? And what did he expect her to do? "We can't just leave them."

"I agree," the captain said, and Laura resisted the urge to smack them both. The choice to save them all was non-existent; it was either saving some ships, or none at all. Last time had been a miracle— and they were out of them. She looked at Lee and his face confirmed her suspicions. "We can transfer as many people as we can. Wait to jump until we detect a Cylon strike force or—"

"Nuh-uh, we're easy targets. They're gonna jump right in the middle of our ships with a handful of nukes and wipe us out before we have the chance to react," Lee argued, and Laura had to nod this time.

"You can't just leave them all behind; you'll be sacrificing thousands of people!" Doral protested rather loudly, as he looked from her to Lee and back. He was effectively blaming them both for something that was out of their control— the decision to leave them behind was hers, but she had no control over what happened afterwards. And thank the Gods neither did Doral, since he was so hell bent on killing them all.

"We'll be saving tens of thousands," Lee reminded him sternly as he walked away to pace near the windows. "I'm sorry to make it a numbers game, but we are talking about the survival of our race here. We don't have the luxury of taking risks and hoping for the best, because if we lose, we lose everything. And Madam President— this is a decision that needs to be made right now." His eyes darted to her, as did everyone else's in the room.

She was silent for a moment, gathering up the courage to give the order. She knew what had to be done, and she agreed wholeheartedly with her son; but saying the words that condemned all those ships was beyond difficult. Her heart raced as she stared back at Lee. "Order the fleet to jump to Ragnar immediately." Lee nodded, exiting the room with the pilot, and Doral left in frustration in the other direction. Soon, she was left alone with Billy.

Her aide stood nervously at her side as he spoke. "Madam President, there's something else you should be aware of," he began, but didn't elaborate as she didn't look at him.

She was feeling an ache inside her heart and it threatened to tear her apart; she knew she couldn't bear with everything on her own. Even with her whole family with her, the burden she was carrying made her feel alone.

"I have cancer," she confessed quietly. She didn't want to get Billy into her mess, but it felt good saying it out loud. To share the news with her aide— better than her children.

Billy gazed uncomfortably at the floor for a few seconds. "I know," he finally answered, and Laura stared at him in shock. "Little things, a couple comments you made." He spoke softly, and she nodded as she glanced back at the window in front of her at the end of the room. So much for discretion— she had met him a few days ago, and she was already an open book to him. But he really had no one, no one besides herself; an orphan like her children would be...

"My prognosis is doubtful," she continued, this time in an overwhelmed, monotone voice. She felt better for sharing the news she was so sure she wouldn't tell anyone with Billy, but as he looked her back with sadness in his eyes, she also felt awful for placing it so suddenly on him. "I wish I could say it was the least of my worries, but the world is coming to an end and all I can think about is that I have cancer, I'm probably going to die and leave Lee and Val alone." A heavy silence followed her words. There were tens of thousands of people out in those ships depending on her, but she only truly cared about two. "How selfish is that?"

"It's not selfish, it's human," he said, shrugging. Laura wanted to smile at him, to show some gratitude at the sincerity and simplicity of his answer, but nothing came out. "Madam President, you're not alone in this. You have them—" Billy began, but Laura shook her head.

"No. Billy, you can't say a word to my children," she instructed, and grabbed one of his hands between hers tightly as she stared at him directly. "Not here, not now. They have to learn it from me." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "The world is ending, Billy. They can't be worried about me until they have the support from their father. I— I'll tell him first," she promised, and the words felt hollow to her ears. She had to worry about Bill too, but— "But not right now," she finished, silently pleased on how Billy couldn't see through her lie after all.

"Okay." He squeezed her hands back and after a moment, she let go of them. "Not a word." He nodded and finally, Laura expressed her gratitude with a smile. Billy echoed her gesture before moving on to the exit.

But soon she frowned again. "Is there something you wanted to say to me?" she asked, stopping Billy to a halt. He didn't turn right away, giving Laura the answer before he even spoke.

"Well, I just thought you should know: that little girl you met earlier, Cami. Her ship can't make the jump."

Laura stared at him in quiet defeat. She could only hope for Cami to see her parents again soon— painlessly, if possible. "Thank you."

::::::::::

When Galactica came into view, Laura let go a sigh of relief. She had a lot to deal with now, in the form and face of Bill Adama, but with the battlestar on their side, they finally had a chance.

Billy, Val, Baltar and Doral walked behind her as she went down the stairs and into the cargo bay, where Lee and Valerii awaited them. Colonial One would not be docking inside Galactica's hangar deck, meaning they would be using the lieutenant's Raptor. Laura exchanged a grave glance with her son; convincing Commander Adama of what had to be done was the biggest issue of her first presidential visit. And she knew Bill would not be easy.

Valerii climbed inside first, and Lee extended his arm to help Laura. As she placed her foot on the first step of the wing, however, a very hurried set of footsteps coming from the stairs caught her attention; she was expecting yet another crisis thrown her way. But it wasn't one of those times, as a woman she had never seen before, probably in her fifties and wearing somewhat ragged clothes, rushed to meet them before the little group left. She must have been a survivor from Caprica, the poor woman.

"Wait!" she pleaded, and Laura agreed with curiosity. She did not notice Val's eyes widening at the sight. "Please. Let me go with you. I need to see Bill." She spoke quickly, not waiting for her breath to catch.

Laura narrowed her eyes. Why? How did she know Bill Adama?

"Galactica is in no condition to accept civilians." It was Val who spoke first. "Besides the president and the doctor, of course. There will be time later, though. For us to go," she concluded.

Her reaction got Laura even more curious. "I don't think we've been introduced yet," she said politely. She then looked directly at Val, as she clearly knew the woman.

"Right. Mom, this is—"

"'Mom'?" Carolanne interrupted. "Oh, so you're Bill's ex."

Laura crossed her arms defensively at her condescending tone. "Yes. And you are?" she tried again, this time exasperated. It wasn't so hard to give her answers, wasn't it? The stranger seemed to know everything about her, and she didn't like it. She was a lot more than just 'Bill's ex'.

When Val spoke again, she was obviously uncomfortable. "Mom, this is Carolanne Lynch. Dad's... girlfriend," she said, not without a certain doubt. She wasn't sure if that was how they described the relationship, but Carolanne didn't seem to mind. "Lieutenant Valerii rescued by complete coincidence from Caprica."

Lee opened his mouth in surprise and Billy suddenly felt like he was intruding into the private life of his boss, deciding then to focus his gaze on the Raptor as if looking for any place to hide in. Baltar and Doral glanced at each other, quietly bonding over their ignorance on the matter and Laura stared at her for a beat, evaluating her like a teacher would evaluate a new student with a particular ego. But soon enough a smile broke on her lips, a smile Val could swear was forced. "I'm glad to hear that," she said, offering her hand to Carolanne, who shook it quickly. And she agreed, better to drop the pretenses and get the formalities out of the way. "Laura Roslin. I see you've already met Val, and this is Lee, my son."

"Bill speaks a lot about you," she informed Lee, shaking his hand as well when he came forward. "About you both. He's proud of you two." Laura's smile grew fonder, that was the thing she could agree with Bill without doubt: they had raised their kids right.

She thought about Val's idea of staying behind with Carolanne, but discarded it swiftly. It would have been politically incorrect to deny her the possibility of visiting the battlestar, given how she was Bill's ex while the woman was Bill's current. And besides, she would never: Bill didn't deserve to not see her, after all. "I don't see why you should stay on Colonial One. We're in a very dire situation," she said, and she couldn't stress that enough, "but I'm sure the commander will appreciate seeing you. You're welcome to join us." Carolanne nodded her appreciation and Laura resumed her earlier motion by climbing onto the Raptor.

She took her seat as Val followed her, not willing to meet her eyes for the moment when she made herself comfortable in the seat across Laura. Carolanne, Billy, Baltar and Doral came in next and Lee was the last one inside before the door was closed, taking the co-pilot seat next to Valerii. The Raptor left Colonial One's cargo bay shortly after.

Laura could not help to steal more than a couple of glances towards Carolanne during their silent flight.

::::::::::

Marines awaited for her this time, leading her and her group through the now familiar but confusing halls until they reached the Ward Room. It was the first clue that told Laura something was wrong. There was no way Bill would have sent marines to greet his presumed dead children instead of doing so himself.

As they walked, Lee slowed his pace just enough to close the entourage, signaling Val to do the same. While she eyed him with curiosity, she did the same and soon, they were walking at a short distance behind the rest. "You don't like her," he whispered. It wasn't a question. "Because she's dating Dad?"

"Of course not," she said in a similar tone. "I'm just... cautious. Dad's been seeing her for a year and a half, he has been very open about it. Yet he never tried to introduce her to me. Not even once." Lee frowned. That didn't sound like their father at all; Bill Adama was the type of person who relished in having his family as closely knit as he could. "Why, what's wrong with her? What's so wrong with her he felt the need to hide her?"

He glanced ahead at the back of Carolanne's head instead of answering. She seemed like any other Caprican woman— though what they had gone through barely helped in observing anyone's character. Val raised an eyebrow at him, as if challenging Lee to come up with a reasonable explanation, but he merely closed the topic with a shrug.

Once they arrived, Laura's feeling of dread intensified as she noticed the emptiness of the room. She had expected Bill would be waiting, what the frak was going on? The group waited for more than ten minutes until Saul came into the room, and Laura stopped herself from jumping instinctively at the man to get some answers. "Colonel Tigh, thank the Gods you're alright. Where's the commander?" she questioned rapidly.

"Overseeing munitions transfer." He spoke shortly, throwing a glance at her. "Word has been given, that you two are here," he said, gesturing at the Adamas, "and he'll be back when he can." He then raised both brows at Carolanne with recognition in his eyes when she waved at him, but made no attempt to greet her properly.

"He can't come to see his children now?" she asked, not buying it for an instant. He was either not where Tigh said, or nobody had informed him of their arrival.

"We're in the middle of repairing and rearming this ship," Tigh continued, annoyance shining in his voice. "We can't afford to lose a single man off the line to start caring for refugees."

Laura clutched her hands tightly as she looked away and smiled with incredulity at the ridiculousness of it all. What the hell was wrong with these people? They only cared about throwing sticks and stones at the Cylons, when a few bunch of nukes would hardly give them any advantage. "We have fifty thousand people out there, and some of them are hurt. Our priority has to be caring for—"

"My priority is preparing this ship for combat," Tigh interrupted. The disdain in which he addressed her had the rest of the room completely silent, giving Laura the desire to shake him until he snapped out those bloodthirsty ideas. "In case you haven't heard, there's a war on," he finished sarcastically.

"Colonel." She stepped closer, trying to get through to him. "The war is over," she said softly. "And we lost."

"We'll see about that."

"Oh, yes, we will." She straightened her posture, because she would not let them get away with this— lead them all to their deaths. Not after what she had already sacrificed to get to Ragnar. "In the meantime, however, as President of the Colonies I am giving you a direct order—"

"You don't give orders on this ship!" Tigh spoke over her, propelling Laura to raise her voice too.

"...to provide men and equipment..."

"Hold on, Colonel," Lee chimed in, shouting to be heard above them as Laura looked at Saul in disbelief. Some part of her had been warning her over and over again, ever since she heard Adama's words in the cockpit of Colonial One. A schoolteacher. Neither of them, Bill or Saul, trusted her for this job. A military dictatorship was a very distinct possibility, even when she wouldn't have thought Bill capable of that... "At least give us a few disaster pods."

"Us," Tigh snorted. "Don't forget your place, Captain. Running below mommy's skirt when you're a senior pilot now..."

A spurt of anger erupted in Laura as she was about to protest, but Lee spoke first. "Sir, we have fifty thousand people out there. Fifty thousand. Some of them are sick, some are wounded. Two disaster pods, Colonel, you can do that." He even smiled as he ignored what Tigh just threw at him, just repeating her words in a less aggressive tone.

"Because you're the old man's son and because he's so damned happy you're alive, okay. Two pods, but no personnel." He walked around the desk, heading towards the exit. "You get them yourselves and you distribute them yourselves. And you are all off this ship before we jump back. Report to the flight deck, Captain."

They both saluted in agreement and the colonel left, Lee following him out the door with one last glance and smile at Laura.

As she watched her son leave, she could only think about how Galactica seemed less of a safe haven than before.