Chapter 9

As the next few days passed Alyssa and Punk still spent much of their time together though there was something present that hadn't been there before. Neither of them said a thing but both could feel its effects. Alyssa watched as Punk did everything he could to avoid Tracy, and she wondered why he went to such lengths. When he was with her, she would catch him staring off into space. When she called him on it he seemed embarrassed, or guilty. Possibly both.

It tore at her self-confidence and shredded her trust of him. She did her best not to listen to rumors, gossip and innuendo but whenever his name was mentioned her ears perked up. Nothing current was ever said, but the scenarios of the past haunted her every minute they were at the arena and it wasn't long before the doubts were following her everywhere she went. He seemed distant and just not quite himself, nothing that she could point to and say "That's it." Just a feeling she had, or was it just her?

Punk spent every minute at work avoiding being pulled into a situation that put him alone with Tracy. He knew what she wanted and an OVW contract was not it. She wasn't fooling anyone, she wanted him. He could feel it every time she looked at him. It made him nervous, worried what she might say or do to Alyssa to get her out of the way. The strain was beginning to take it's toll on him as he slept less and less and spent inordinate amounts of time wondering what he would do if confronted with the situation.

At the end of two weeks he would find out the answer to that, and no one would ever be the same again.

Punk wandered down the hall to the trainers room, he needed tape and he knew where to find it. He pushed open the door to find the room deserted. Going to the shelf he dug through the supplies looking for a roll. He heard the door open and muttered "Sorry Eric, I just need some tape."

The footsteps echoed across the tile floor and he held his breath. Unless Eric had taken to wearing six-inch heels it wasn't the trainer. A hand appeared on his shoulder, scarlet nails digging into his exposed flesh. "I got some." Her voice murmured, husky and low.

"Tracy...get off me." He hissed turning to face her. They were face to face, merely inches apart as her perfume assaulted his nostrils.

"Oh come on Punk, you know you want me...that little girl can't handle a man like you." her hand moved to trail a well-manicured nail across his chest.

He caught her wrist in his hand "I fuckin mean it. Stay the fuck away from me." He warned.

Using the other hand she slid it into his hair and jerked his head down to hers, covering his lips with hers.

In an obvious twist of fate, the door opened and Alyssa stood staring at the pair.

He heard the door and pushed her away, forcefully. "Alyssa....this is not what it looks like!" He cried.

Alyssa's eyes darted between the pair as her heart shattered and fell around her feet. She took several steps back and slammed the door shut.

"You fucking bitch!" He threw at Tracy as he sprinted to the door. He was no match for Alyssa, by the time he hit the outer door she was peeling out of the parking lot.

"Godfuckingdamnit!" He yelled leaning against the building and sliding down it. Burying his face in his hands he cursed Tracy and his luck.

Alyssa pulled into her parking space and bolted up the stairs. Once inside her room she threw herself on the bed and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. The phone rang numerous times but she ignored it, knowing it was Punk calling her. When she finally pulled herself to a sitting position, she hugged a pillow to her chest and stared blankly at the wall. The mental image of him kissing Tracy burned in her mind.

She wasn't sure how many hours had passed but it seemed forever when she heard the pounding on her door.

"Alyssa! Please...talk to me!" He called, leaning his head against her door as the tears stung his eyes.

"I don't want to talk to you! Go away!" She yelled back.

"Please Lyss...baby...I need you." He cried, the tears making their way across his face.

Alyssa stood and stalked to the door, jerking it open she glared at him "What?" She demanded.

He looked up at her, the tears glistening on his face and she almost gave in. "It was not what it looked like Lyss...she kissed me." He said standing in the doorway.

"That's exactly what it looked like Punk." She admitted taking a step back so he could enter.

He did then turned to look at her "Then why...If you know..." he murmured in confusion.

"Because I'm not so sure that you wouldn't have stopped her if I hadn't walked in." She whispered the tears filling her eyes.

He reached for her, hating to see the tears in her eyes but she pulled away. Guilt ate at him, he wasn't so sure either. "Lyss, honey...I..." He stammered. He refused to lie to her.

Alyssa swiped angrily at the tears. "You aren't sure either are you." She whispered her heart feeling as if it were breaking into a million pieces.

He ran his hand through his hair "Honestly, I don't know." He murmured unable to meet her gaze.

Alyssa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry to hear that...I can't sit on the sidelines and wait for you to be sure." She whispered crossing her arms over her stomach she turned and walked to the other side of the room needing to put some distance between them.

The pain in his heart was like a thousand needles relentlessly pricking at him. "So, this is it huh?" He muttered. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he always manage to screw up every relationship he had.

"I guess it is..." She whispered cursing her voice as the tears she fought to hold back rang loud and clear in her voice.

"I'm sorry Lyss." He returned before walking towards the door. He could feel his own tears burning his eyes and wondered if he was wrong.

"So am I... I hope you find what you're looking for." She murmured as she turned away from him. She couldn't watch him walk out the door without begging him to stay.

He didn't respond as he closed the door behind him. A voice in the back of his head kept saying "You already have."

Alyssa heard the door close and fell in a heap as the tears she'd fought so hard to hold back cascaded down her cheeks. She knew as long as she lived that she would never love anyone the way she loved him. Punk would always hold a piece of her heart.

Punk walked into his own room and sat down wearily in the chair. Leaning his head back he closed his eyes and willed away the tears he felt. He couldn't understand how after everything that had happened Tracy could still do this to him. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there when he heard a knock on the door. He bolted to his feet and pulled the door open, expecting to see Alyssa on the other side.

Tracy batted her eyelashes and smiled sweetly at him "Hey babe...I'm sorry." She whispered.

Punk groaned Tracy was the last person he wanted to see or speak to. "No you aren't Tracy...I don't even think you know what the meaning of being sorry is." He whispered emotionally spent.

Tracy willed the tears to spring to her eyes "Oh, I do...hurting you was the biggest mistake I ever made." She whispered.

Punk swallowed hard the one thing he hated most in the world was to see a woman cry. "Then what are you doing here Trace? I had something good going and you blew it..." He said turning and walking into his room.

She stepped inside and closed the door softly. "Because I really am sorry Punk...I hate seeing you upset." She murmured following him across the room and settling her hand on his shoulder.

Punk sighed. "Then why does it seem like you thoroughly enjoy torturing me." He whispered turning to look her in the eye.

She shrugged "I don't know...I just want a chance to get back what we had. We were good together." She said running her hand across his shoulder to his neck.

"Yes we were" he admitted. "But you single handedly destroyed what we had by sleeping with Bentley." He said through clenched teeth. "I'm not so sure we could get it back if we tried...I don't know If I could ever trust you again."

Tracy fought to keep the gleeful smile she felt tugging at the corners of her mouth in check. Sliding her fingers into his hair she whispered "Does this mean you want to try?" Her lips were mere inches from his and hopefully he wouldn't push her away this time.

"I don't...know...you've got me so confused. I don't know what I want." he admitted staring into her eyes.

Tracy suppressed the grin and let her lips move over his, slowly as she pressed herself against him.

Punk felt her lips move over his and fought the urge to kiss her back. It was a natural response he'd been with her a long time. He could feel her body pressed against his and felt her hands slide across his shoulders and into his hair. He was just about to kiss her back when Alyssa's face came into his minds eye. With a feral growl he took his hands and shoved Tracy from him. Breathing heavy he stared at her. "I can't let you do this to me Tracy..." he whispered stepping away from her when she came towards him.

She cocked her head "What's wrong Punk? Don't you want me?"

Punk swallowed hard. "I used to think I'd never stop wanting you...but that was before I knew what it meant to be truly loved... I think you need to leave." he said walking to the door and opening it.

Tracy's face fell, "That little girl could never satisfy you the way I used to." She hissed.

Punk simply shook his head and smiled. "Your right Trace she can't...She satisfies me more then you could ever have hoped to." he said honestly.

Tracy walked to the door and turned to look at him "You'll regret this." She said coldly. She heard a door down the walk open and glanced over to see Alyssa staring at her.

She blew him a kiss and winked. "I love you." She said feigning happiness.

Alyssa couldn't help but hear the words "I love you" uttered from Tracy's lips. Feeling the tears fill her eyes she quickly turned and walked back into her room slamming the door cursing the day she had met Phillip Brooks.

Punk heard the distinctive sound of the door slamming and glared at Tracy "You are such a selfish cunt!" he spit the words at her.

"I told you you'd be sorry." She said smiling wickedly at him.

"I already am." He said wearily.

Punk watched as she walked away. Walking over to the door he slammed it shut wondering how on earth he was going to fix things with Alyssa.

Alyssa lay awake, alternating between tears and resisting the urge to walk down to his room and give him a piece of her mind. In the end she did nothing. When the first rays of light broke on the horizon she sighed and went to shower. There was still class and working out to get through. It was going to be a very long day.

Punk had laid awake most of the night rehearsing over and over again what he wanted to say to Alyssa. Nothing he came up with seemed appropriate nor did it say just how sorry he was that he'd been so blind. Hearing her door open he jumped off the bed and threw the door open. Racing down the hall he caught up with her at the stairs. "Lyss...I know your really pissed at me but I really need to talk to you." He said grabbing her arm gently.

She jerked away from him. "Tell it to Tracy!" She hissed.

"Please Lyss what you thought you heard wasn't the way it was...Tracy was being her normal vengeful self. She was trying to get back at me because I rejected her and kicked her out of my room." He said following her down the stairs.

Alyssa felt the hope prick her heart. Turning she stared at him "You know it doesn't really matter Punk. You aren't ready to really commit to us, no matter how much you protest...it's painfully obvious."

"I know it seems like that but I am honest. I realized it last night...I did a lot of soul searching and you are what I want." He whispered his eyes pleading with her.

The image of Tracy standing in his door at three in the morning flitted through her mind. "Was that before of after you slept with Tracy?" She muttered. Turning away from him she stalked to her car.

Punk stared after her his mouth hanging open. "God Damn it I didn't sleep with her." He yelled as she got into the car and slammed the door closed.

Alyssa viciously turned the stereo up and peeled out of the parking lot, tears blurring her vision. How could he go from not being sure to being so certain in just a few hours? She asked herself. She just couldn't believe it, no matter how much she wanted to.

Over the next few days, Alyssa went to work and the gym and then shut herself in her room. She barely spoke to anyone, including Mickie. Her friend was worried about her. She'd heard the rumors and no matter how much Alyssa avoided Tracy, the bullshit Tracy was spreading around got back to her.

Daffney sat back and watched as the man she had once loved disappeared before her very eyes. He was normally surly and she could handle that, but the vacant, emotionless shell she saw getting worse everyday was something that no matter what had happened to him she'd never seen before. She knew Tracy was lying and she felt bad for the young redhead. She didn't have the life skills to combat Tracy and it broke her heart to see Punk and Alyssa both so unhappy.

It was Tuesday when she decided to talk to him. After class she hurried and dressed and went outside to wait. Daffney leaned against the building, hearing the door open she looked over to see Punk step out and take several steps away from her. She shook her head. She was about to open her mouth when she heard the door open again she watched as Alyssa walked out. Not meeting either of the pair of eyes watching her she strode to her car, head held high. Turning to look back at her former boyfriend Daffney saw the look of pain etched on his face as he retraced his steps, his eyes never leaving Alyssa.

Daffney pushed herself off the wall and stood next to him. "You love her don't you?" She murmured, her eyes trained on the black mustang as Alyssa pulled out of the parking lot.

"I do." He returned quietly, his voice full of loneliness and despair.

"I'm sorry Punk..." she whispered her heart breaking for both of them.

"Me too." He said dejectedly before walking away from her.

She watched him go, she'd never seen him look so defeated before, no matter what life had thrown at him Punk always came out on top. Now it seemed as if this young girl was the center of his world. She hadn't thought anything would ever take the place of wrestling in his heart, apparently she had been wrong.

Punk sat in his room late that night, Alyssa had done everything she could to avoid being alone with him. She was doing the same thing to him that he had been doing with Tracy. Although anytime Alyssa was near Tracy would do her best to make it look like something was happening between the two of them. he'd heard the rumors that the two of them were "hiding" their relationship and he had flat out denied the rumors to anyone that had the guts to ask him.

He loved Alyssa and had been tempted many times to tell her even before the disaster with Tracy happened, but each time it had been on the tip of his tongue it didn't seem to be the right time. He wasn't sure she would believe him especially now. He didn't know what to do to rectify the situation and it was slowly driving him insane. He couldn't concentrate, he was missing spots and it was seriously affecting his wrestling. He wondered how long he could go on this way before he or someone else got seriously hurt.