A/N: takes place before Opal chapter uwu


Steven kicked in his sleep. He moaned, face scrunched tight, eyes nailed shut. His stomach flipped, uneasy, unsettled, and unrelenting in it's torture. He awoke with a cry, throwing himself against the side of his newly-formed bubble shield.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt anyone!" He repeated, breath shaking, body aching.

He stared to his girlfriend's bed, set up only inches away from his, separate at Pearl and Priyanka's request. Connie had awoken immediately after he did, her face pressed against the shield's surface. They shared a brief look with one another, before the bubble poofed, leaving her in his arms.

Steven let his tears fall as Connie came to him, embracing him without question, stroking his back the way he liked it.

"Eyeball?" Connie asked him, straddling his lap and clearing the sweat-matted hair from his face. Hot tears streaking his cheeks, Steven shook his head, and took a deep breath, keeping his gaze locked on Connie.

"B-Bismuth," He answered, one hand wrapped around Connie's waist, and the other clutching his shimmering Gem. Connie nodded, and kissed him on his forehead, pressing his head against her chest.

"Last call from her was received after dinner, and she popped by from her forge to visit us… 3 hours after that? Bismuth is okay," Connie notified, a clear and fatigued drawl to her voice.

"I-I know..." He uttered, his stomach settling quickly in his girlfriend's presence.

"I love you, Connie."

"I love you too, Steven..." She mumbled, pressing her lips against his forehead again. He blinked the tears away from his eyes, and lied back down, taking Connie with him.

They couldn't get to sleep – he rarely could after an episode. Connie and him had talked for a while, with Greg, as human beings – when these episodes started occurring. Guilt bubbled the memories within the boy's mind, and ever since the age of 14, memories had begun to replay themselves.

The first was the ejection of Eyeball, the Ruby who had found herself trapped in space with Steven after their sortie on Earth's moon. It dragged him back, back to the cold void of space, his skin exposed and eyes watered as he failed to reason with the indoctrinated Gem.

The muscles gripped and tore within his body as he threw Eyeball away from him, leaving her to flail about in space forever.

Of course, he knew she had been saved. That she had further pinned the guilt of the murder of Pink Diamond on him, during his court sentencing. Steven knew that Eyeball now took residence as Garnet's understudy.

His subconscious didn't quite care for the "now".

It replayed Pink's shattering, completely fabricated as it was, in excruciating detail – detail he wasn't alive to record. The shock of Pink's face as Rose's sword struck clean through her – Pearls' hand guiding it through her Diamond. The silence that followed, as crowds looked on in horror, and the tell-tale "poof" of destabilisation.

The "clink" of Gem fragments.

The final thought was of his own hands, chubby and burnt, striking clean through Bismuth's form, poofing her. He felt his throat clench in suspense – the heat of Bismuth's vile forge, where the Breaking Point was developed.

The last words to leave his lips, in that memory - "I'm sorry."

Bismuth was fine now. Reformed, relaxed, and no doubt reclining under a hot magma bath. They had come to peace with one another, and made friends – allies.

Yet still, his brain taunted him. Forced him to watch as he struggled to fill the shoes of his mother before him. Showing him that he was unprepared and unable to face the realities of leadership on his own, still desperately clinging to his innocence.

He breathed again, staring to the rising sun with disdain.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, particularly to Connie. She hugged him tighter, and sat up, smiling at him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

He held a hand on her waist, ever grateful for the blessing in his life that was Connie Maheswaran. They stared at each other for a little bit, smiling, before Connie stood up from his bed, sliding a pair of dirty rain-boots on.

"C'mon," she implored.

(…)

They arrived, sitting atop a grassy cliff, waiting for the sun to rise, and warm them. They sat quite a bit away from each other, legs splayed, their toes touching – a recent yet surprisingly effective form of calming themselves.

The "Foot Circle", they had dubbed it.

They stared into the other for a moment or two, before shutting their eyes, focusing on their breathing.

"Breathe in," Connie said.

They took in two deep breaths, thinking on what caused them stress.

Their fighting. Pearl's training. Connie's study. Steven's dreams. The ant that just started nibbling at their toes.

"Breathe out," She spoke again.

What made them happy?

The birds, quietly chirping in the salty air. The brush and tickle of grass on their calves. The coffee Steven would bring Connie after school. The warmth of the hug Connie would grace Steven with in the middle of the night.

They opened their eyes, a twinkling sensation in their toes, and smiled to the other. The sun peaked it's head over the horizon, bathing Beach City in it's first hazy orange glow for the day. Steven and Connie poured their emotions out to one another – Connie was stressed by her mother's overbearing gaze on her grades, pelted by the training Pearl had been assigning her – it just made her want to scream!

And so, within their circle, she did, knowing she wouldn't be judged by Steven.

In turn, Steven shared with her, not for the first time, his growing feelings towards the Gems. The way he'd catch himself staring at them, since he hit puberty. About how it pained him to have those feelings, even as his long-time best friend and girlfriend sat there and smiled.

Connie knew the Gems felt the same about him. They didn't admit it – wouldn't admit it, at least, not without something screaming at them to do so. It was the little things she'd picked up on – like Garnet sparing a glance every now and then, scanning Steven's body as he'd go through an exercise with Pearl, laying her hands on him for a little longer than usual…

Or it was the big things, like with Amethyst…

(...)

Connie awoke to the sound of sobbing. Fatigued out of her wits, still nursing her broken leg, she immediately went to wrap Steven in her arms tighter. It was after a few seconds that she realised it wasn't her boyfriend crying, but someone at their stairs.

Her hair was ragged, her Gem glowing wistfully, and her usually calm, carefree demeanour had been replaced with a wash of grief, and worry. Noticing she'd been caught, Amethyst went to careen down the stairs, only to be stopped by Connie's voice.

"Hey," she uttered, quiet as to not wake anyone else, "Amethyst, are you okay?"

Amethyst slowly turned back to Connie, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

"N-no… W-was afraid to… To leave him-you guys..." She mumbled, trying to calm herself. Connie sighed, and shifted back in the bed, clearing space between her and Steven. With a keen, confused eye, Amethyst kept track of the human's slow, subtle movements, noticing the hole she had created was perfectly Amethyst-sized.

"Hop in. And get comfy."

With great apprehension, Amethyst did so. They shared the night together, Connie's arms wrapped around Amethyst's waist, as Amethyst buried her sobbing face into Steven's back.

"I… I didn't want to leave him alone with Jasper. I-I knew he'd be fine, b-but… Geez, you must think I'm a mess..." The defective Gem grumbled, sniffling and craning her head back to whisper to Connie. Amethyst gasped as she felt Connie's hand brush her cheek, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"You aren't a mess. You're strong. So much stronger than you give yourself credit for..." Connie cooed, smiling lazily at the Gem. Amethyst felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and she sniffed, regaining a bit of composure. She shifted her body around, and wrapped Connie in a tight hug, careful not to hurt the human's leg.

As if on instinct, the near-dead-asleep Steven Universe flipped himself over, and spooned Amethyst from behind. She locked up, her eyes bulging out of her head in quiet fear, hoping she hadn't been caught. Scanning Connie's eyes, Amethyst sighed with relief as Connie hugged her back.

"Stay with us tonight, Amethyst. Even if it's just to remind yourself that we won't leave you," she whispered. The warmth pressed against her back, and Steven's nose, resting against her hair, Amethyst struggled to rest, let alone respond.

She opened her mouth, and let the words die in her throat, as fatigue took over.

Connie awoke that morning to an empty bed, noticing Steven had taken residence on the spare mattress – probably to keep his promise for Pearl. He didn't say anything – didn't note anything unusual about the night prior, but couldn't get the scent of rain away from his nose.

Before she left to go back to her house, Connie shared a hug with Amethyst – one that let the runt-Gem know that things were going to be okay.

Maybe even a bit better.

(…)

Amethyst had become less covert in her snooping. She'd openly stare at Steven, eyes glued to his massive frame as he'd walk out of the shower, hoping she'd somehow find herself in his arms again.

Of course, Steven had an inkling the Gems felt the same way he did. He was no stranger to the affection of the opposite sex (or was it species?) - heck, even the same sex in Kevin's case.

'Stupid Kevin,' Steven would think to himself, losing his track of thought, ignoring Amethyst's open eye intrigue. Pearl would then be behind Amethyst, staring all the same, but shaming the smaller Gem for it.

Connie observed this all, staring at the Gems and Steven, likening them to crouched tigers – all ready to pounce, yet all afraid of the others – as if striking would leave them vulnerable, hurt them. And yes, it was true that she loved Steven – was in love with him, however you might spin it – they were boyfriend and girlfriend, after all.

And yet, delving into Steven's mind as Stevonnie, she grew to accept these feelings – and she certainly understood them prior. The Gems were attractive, mysterious beings from outer space, who after some time cared little for hiding or masking their emotions. They loved each other as family, and that love had clearly grown.

Blossomed into something more beautiful.

Yet still guilt had clung to Steven's heart – Connie had spoken with him, and talked him through his feelings, yet it remained. He'd experienced Connie's acceptance, even eagerness to try the new experiences with the Gems, and yet, guilt hung from his shoulders.

Guilt she now shared with him, in their Foot Circle. Though Connie felt a fire stir within her as Steven's expression changed, determination brewing in his core. He smiled to her, again, scratching his head.

"I told Pearl how I felt about Amethyst, and… Amethyst, how I felt about Pearl. I asked them both to keep quiet about it..."

"And? How'd it go?"

"They…" a familiar, cold knot grew in their stomachs, "Pearl was jealous. She tried to hide it, but she… She seemed happy about it, in the end… I tried to tell her what I felt about her after that, b-but… I couldn't find the words..."

"And Amethyst?" Connie asked.

"She took it better. But the more the conversation went on, the more I questioned why I did it in the first place! It's just… I think it's made things worse between us, even just a little..."

Connie nodded, and breathed deep, calming herself so that Steven would feel it too.

"You made a step in the right direction, getting it out there. Rejection or not, they'll still be your friends. They'll still love you. I'll still love you. You know that, right?" Connie asked, smiling sweetly to her Steven. A harsh blush tinged his cheeks, and he smiled back to her, nodding.

"You're right… I just need to keep reminding myself of that. I love you, Connie."

"I love you too, Steven."

He moved to stand up, but was held down, and sat back in his place.

"Not so fast! You still have to tell me what your plans for Bismuth are, Steven..."


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