Authors Note: I do NOT own Owari No Seraph!

WARNING! Thai gets a little Rated R/ Sexual with his colorful vocabulary during an encounter with a guard

I try to make things non-OOC as much as possible. Bonus points if you catch the small references Thai has with a certain Western Gunslinger.


Iron Bars and Dime Novels


"Is this where I am read my rights?"I weakly asked, fiddling with the inscribed chains wrapped around me. "Wouldn't be the first time."

When they hauled me back to Tokyo, they drained me of some of my blood, weakening me to the point where mere chains could hold me. Right now, I was chained to a metal table inside of what looked to be a brightly-lit blue interrogation room. The walls were lined with steel and concrete while the floors themselves were only concrete. Other than the metal table, there were two metal chairs, one being sat on by me and the other by Guren, who sat across the table from me. To my left was a mirror, but knowing where I was, it was definitely a one-way mirror. I was still somewhat paralyzed, the magic piece of paper still pinned on me. My weapons and hairpin were confiscated and most likely destroyed, much to my dismay. Guren only scowled at me.

"How're yer friends?"I asked. "Shot one in the chest with birdshot and stabbed your marksman just near his heart. Should be dead, right?"

"They're fine,"he coldly said. "Who are you?"

I guffawed. "I already told you that I'm the 'Second Fastest Gun Alive' as noted by my superiors and good friend, Howard Darby."

"Who's he?"

"The Fastest Gun Alive. Now, what's this about turning me into a Demon?"

Guren ignored my question. "How is it that one day, you're human, and the next, a vampire? Why did you attack us when we first met?"

Pondering about his question, I answered, "Well, if I remember correctly, I was just attacked by two vampires and was on edge. How is it that I was supposed to trust you guys to be who you really were?"

"We were human-"

"-adults that shouldn't have made it either way when the Virus hit."

"Then how did you make it?"

"Well, for me, it was probably an isolated case of natural immunity, but ten to fifteen people all huddled around wearing the same uniforms...that raises all kinds of questions. For all I knew, when you said 'Demon Army', I thought Cult Army...and I was not wrong."

"Who turned you?"he asked.

"Count Dracula. Bit me right on the neck because I forgot my garlic necklace."

I was suddenly clocked right in the face by a quick right punch from Guren. I licked my lips and started chuckling as Guren returned to his seat.

"Good one,"I wheezed.

"You don't look like a normal vampire, so I must assume you're a noble of some sort. You killed 40 people. You deserve to be put down."

I leaned in closer to Guren, grinning to show my fangs in the light.

"Amigo,"I softly said. "What's the use of looking on the gloomy side of everything? The laugh's on me this time. Is the jail at Santa Fe any better than this? This is a terrible place to put a fellow in."

He smirked.

"What's so funny?"

"You're right. The laugh's on you. I'm not just gonna let you get the easy way out."

My own smile disappeared into a frown of disgust. "What's this about turning me into a Demon?"

"Even if you aren't a Noble, maybe the 'Second Fastest Gun Alive' can still be transformed into a weapon."

A "tsk" left my mouth as I ground my teeth together.

"So that's the rumor I've been hearing from field reports. Demon Weapons ain't exactly a figurative expression, I take it?"

"You'll make a good revolver."

Two soldiers who I didn't recognize suddenly came inside of the room. I noticed one with something familiar bulging from his pants pocket as they marched over to me. They unhooked the chains on the table and forced me up, gripping their arms onto me with much ferocity. I tried fighting, but that piece of paper stuck onto me made it to where I couldn't use my newly acquired skills. A leather belt was placed around my mouth, keeping me from biting anyone. I thrashed around in their strong grips, but the two soldiers didn't budge.

"People thought me bad before!'I roared. "But, if ever I should go free, I'll let them know what bad means!"

I was led down a dark hall lined with stone. It was barely lit, the light illuminating the stone and walls. On each side were cells with large iron gars serving as gates. Inside most of them were either one or two vampires who were most likely going through the same treatment as I was going to be presented with. They marched me down towards a cell that was already occupied by another vampire who looked to be here already for two days. His eyes were sulking, his entire body crouched into a corner. One of the soldier's opened the gate while the second one pushed me inside, leaving the chains on me before removing the spell craft. I immediately ran to the cage bars once they closed it.

"Let me out of here, dammit!"I growled.

"Quiet."

They pushed me back before marching towards the exit. Although my spirit was hurt, I smiled knowing I pick-pocketed the man's playing cards without him realizing it. At least I would have something to toy around with until I starve to Demonic levels. I opened the deck and took the cards out, Charlie-cutting the cards to feel the deck. A sight for sore eyes, I couldn't help but remember all of those cringy moments when I kept showing magic tricks to everyone. Those were dark times, especially that Sleight of Hand deal I had with Urd Geales.

"Who are you?"asked the vampire, his tone weakened and his body unmoving.

"Thai,"I answered, putting the cards away. "The Fastest Gun you'll meet, most likely."

"You...you're that human who did that-"

"-don't remind me,"I silenced him.

"Do you have a trick on getting us out of here?"the vampire asked.

I went on my knees and knocked on the ground. It was rock solid stone and concrete, possibly reinforced with steel beams. The back of the cell was rock solid too, but I was betting it led to another hall, or even just outside. The cage bars themselves were reinforced with spell work and were unable to be broken apart. I kicked the bars with my foot before I turned to the vampire.

"Tsk. I'm still...workin' on it."

I slumped back down, trying to catch my breath. Hunger slowly approached me and had me in its vile clutches. However, I still had hope; I was still a pretty capable person. I've hunted bears, shot coins midair in less than half of half of an eighth of a second, and devised tricks that made it seem like I'm performing real magic; who's to say I can't think of a way out of prison? Still, no Fast Draw Artist, Mechanic, or Native American Tracker have ever prepared me for this.

"Have you tried anything?"I asked.

The vampire was in worse condition. His hair was drooping, his face was paler than before. His eyes were an emotionless blur to me. While vampires were infamous for having the deadliest glare as their normal face, but he was broken, starving, there were already red markings crawling up to his face.

"I've clawed and tried breaking my way out of here. Nothing worked,"he said.

"Bummer,"I sighed in defeat.

I took out the cards and started shuffling them.

"Poker? Blackjack?"

"No,"he coldly said.

"Whatever, ya' dick."

Deciding to play Pyramid, I formed a pyramid on the ground, starting with one card followed by a row of two cards in front of it and so on until the seventh row had seventh cards. Putting the rest of the deck below the pyramid, I started looking for two exposed cards that add up to 13, using both the rows and the deck to help me eliminate the entire pyramid. As the game unfolded, Jack of Hearts going to Two of Spades and 6 of Diamonds going to 7 of Clubs, I contemplated my means of escape. The most obvious one that came into mind was that I could just throw a bunch of cards at an incoming guard, incapacitating him to where I could drag him towards the bars and sink my fangs into his neck, draining him to gather enough strength to break out of here. However, even though I can most likely throw a card at high velocity even in my weakened state, it probably won't even penetrate their uniforms enough to pierce skin. If anything, it would agonize me even more to see blood drip from the wounds and away from my reach.

It was a dead game. I muttered a curse before resetting the Pyramid. If I had my hairpin, I could maybe have hit the guard in the neck, or even try and pick the lock, but the hair hanging down the back of my head made me remember that it was gone...again. I couldn't trip the guard by grabbing his leg; they were smart enough to stay in the middle of the hall and nowhere near the bars.

My hunger slowly started eating away at me as it was another failed game. I pounded my fist on the ground and reformed the pyramid. My mind started succumbing to the slow hunger, the pain unsettled by the lack of blood. I tried to keep my mind off of it by playing the game and thinking of more ways to escape. Maybe, if I could taunt the guard back here again, I could lift the keys from his jacket. Still, then there was the matter of trying to escape the entire building without getting caught. On my own without a gun or even a knife, I was a stray deer in a hunter's cabin. I would need something to cover my escape, maybe the vampires in the cells.

Suddenly, I heard the door on the end of the hall open, most likely the Soldier wanting his damn cards back. Quickly, I gathered the cards and stuffed them inside of the untied straightjacket they stuffed me inside of, hoping they wouldn't suspect me in stealing the cards. I leaned back on the stone wall, grinding my teeth against each other when the pain hit me. I looked up to see who was coming and saw Guren. Desperate, i threw myself at the bars and shook them.

"Gimme a drink, goddammit!"I roared.

"You want a drink?"Guren simply replied.

I nodded up and down, growling.

A metal canister struck me in the face, knocking me back slightly. I picked the canister up, twisting the container open before sniffing inside to reveal its contents. I growled, twisting the cap back onto the canister before throwing it behind me, annoyed to find out that he threw me-

"-water!? You psychopath! I need blood!"I roared.

"You asked for a drink,"Guren smirked sarcastically. "You should learn to word your requests better. This isn't the Wild Wild West anymore."

A growl escaped my throat, my diseased mind finding ways to exact my revenge. "I'm aware."

"I need that back,"he said, pointing at the water canister.

I simply raised my eyebrow. "Then take it,"I replied.

The other vampire stood up, his foot on the water canister. I snickered and stepped back, my arms out and eyes shining. Guren, now scowling at me, decided to walk off, probably knowing that trying to get one canister wasn't worth getting into senseless trouble with two vampires. Honestly, I was glad he didn't decide to barge his way in here; there was no way for me to attack Guren without getting my head lopped off. I knew I couldn't count on the vampire behind me to watch my back. Escaping would have also been impossible with the LTC up my ass. His beating heart didn't make my hunger feel any better. I needed to find a way out of here before I lose control of what sanity I had left.

The vampire slumped back down, his obvious signs of hunger growing as much as his anger. I had maybe only two days until I would become as damned as him; I might as well attempt one of my plans.

Uncovering the cards, I took one out and examined it. It obviously wasn't factory new, but the plastic feel of the card and the still-crisp edges made me think assume that the cards were still somewhat new. I smelled it again, smelling more of the plastic scent than a human's. Like a frisbee, I placed the card in between my index and middle finger, curling the card back towards my wrist, and flicked my wrist forward. The card only flew a foot before whirling off in the air like a piece of paper. I tried again with three more cards, failing even more with each card thrown.

"Grrrr!"I growled. "Stupid pieces of-"

A metaphorical lightbulb lit the dark recesses of my brain. These cards were indeed stupid pieces of plastic and cardboard, but like all cards manufactured around the world, these stupid cards were all coated with-

"-nitrocellulose..."I muttered.

I looked back at the canister idly lying on the stone ground. Just the thought of a piece of the plan sent a smile across my face.

"Hey,"I said to the vampire. "You wanna hear a story?"

He continued to stare at me in disbelief, probably wondering why I was so giddy.

"Long time ago, there was this prisoner locked up, but he weren't no ordinary prisoner. He conceived of a way to break himself out of prison by conceiving an explosive made of cards, water, and heat. He successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale about it."

If he knew how the bomb would really work, it would throw off my entire plan, possibly getting me killed in the process. However, just that little yarn of a story got him convinced enough to follow through with the plan.

"Really?"he asked.

"Yes,"I smiled. "We're getting out of here...if we get a lighter."

Shit. The bomb worked because the prisoner had a kerosene stove to act as a heat source, but being incredibly dangerous vampires, we were reduced to having nothing in our cell. The cards and water canister were pure lock, but maybe I could snatch a lighter off of a soldier.

"Know any of the guards who smoke?"I asked.

The vampire stayed silent. "There's one, but she's the most ignorant human I've ever met. Every time she walked down the hall, the stench of cigarette smoke clouds the air."

I clicked my tongue. "That'll just make it easier. We'll keep this under wraps for now, but if you see her, give me a sign."


Two Days Later...

I was losing hope. The vampire didn't make a move, only looking up at the occasional guard, but they were all men. Card games couldn't stop my mind from being distracted from my endless hunger. With every passing guard, I reached my hand out and made an effort to grab them, not realizing that my hand was still a reasonable distance away from the guards. My fangs would gnaw on the cage bars. The pain that arose multiplied with each hour; my hand gripped my stomach, growls escaping with each breath.

Suddenly, I felt the water canister roll to my leg. Annoyed, i kicked it back, looking at the vampire who so carelessly let it roll to me. He flicked his head slightly towards the incoming sound of boots coming down the hall. I stood up quickly, seeing an incoming guard that made her way down the hall. The two of us vampires were the only ones here after they cleaned out the other cells yesterday, making this a better attempt at getting her attention. As told by the vampire, she reeked of cigarette smoke with a hint of lunch.

"Musta!"I hollered.

The guard kept walking, her eyes not even averting towards me.

"Malaki ang susu mo,"I snickered in a devious tone, finally getting her attention.

Still with a permanent scowl, she carefully approached me, keeping a safe distance between us two.

"Didilain ko ang tingil mo,"I continued saying with a long grin plastered on my face, trying to see if her curious side would take over.

"What are you saying, vampire?"she asked, making me snicker again.

"Oh...I was just contemplating those two giant melons on your chest. My God...I have never seen such majesties in this side of the Apocalypse." I gave off a short whistle.

Clearly disgusted, she stomped towards me and grabbed me by the throat, jamming the butt of her sword on my sternum. I nearly gagged, but smiled to gain the attention of her eyes so my hands could do their magic.

"I dare you to say that again, you pervert!"she screamed.

I needed more time; I felt the lighter in her jacket pocket. "Arghh..."I muttered in pain, "...đồ lồn què..."

She slammed my face on the gate as my hands retracted quickly with her lighter in my grips. "What did you say!"she roared

I didn't mean to blurt that out. "I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more."

She growled and threw me back. "The next time you say perverted things like that, I'll have you castrated!"

"...noted,"I smiled. "You are one silver tongued devil, you."

She stomped away, sheathing her sword as the vampire crawled his way towards me. He grimaced, also disgusted by my own tactics.

"You almost made me believe that you were human,"he said. "Were you this disgusting before?"

I smiled and held up the lighter. "No...but I had a boyfriend who would talk like that at me."

Still disgusted, he soon realized what I held in my hands.

"Let's get to work. We probably only have a little while until the guard comes back."

Nitrocellulose, when mixed with cardboard and water that is then heated up by an external source of heat, can become a deadly, lightweight explosive. The story went two ways: the prisoner tried escaping with this method or wanted to kill himself before he was sent to be executed. Either way, it worked for him, so why not for us? I ripped up the cards to pieces before stuffing them inside of the water canister, shaking the contents up upon closing the canister. Leaning the canister against the wall, I opened the Zippo lighter and flicked the wheel, sparking a flame that I hope would last just enough for the bomb to explode. I set it under the canister before the two of us sat back against the bars as far as we could. We knew it wouldn't kill us, but up close, it would be deadly...at least, that was what I told him when crafting it.

We waited, letting the flame heat the bottle up. Inside, I was hoping that the guard's lighter was full to the brim, otherwise this plan would definitely not work at all. I was personally giving this plan a fifty percent chance of success. Because it was stainless steel, I wasn't afraid that it would melt a hole through the canister, but I knew that the bomb wouldn't detonate like this. Even if it did heat up all the way, it needed one final step for it to become a bomb.

Faking my disappointment, I sighed and put my hand over my eyes.

"It's not going to work...is it?"the vampire asked.

"...I forgot that the prisoner used a little gasoline to ignite the damn thing."

"Tsk. What a waste of time!"

"Do you have a better idea?! I thought not, now take the damn bottle off the heat. I got another idea."

"Why do I have to do it? It's your stupid plan,"he retorted.

I took my hand off my face and turned my face to him. "I'm not that disoriented to beat the shit out of you. Now get!"

I kicked him off of the wall before nonchalantly placing my hand over my eyes to cover them from the incoming debris the explosion would set off. Maybe, this might just work if the vampire actually did what he was told. I could hear him grumbling about how "water isn't an explosive material" and that "playing cards aren't explosive". I smiled, closing my eyes as I heard him lift the container up. Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. It was the guard!

"What do you think you're-"

A sudden blast of fire, debris and smoke hit me. Instantly, I toughed through the burns and scars as I ran forward, still with my hand over my eyes. I held my breath as I rolled through the hole made through the cell wall, nearly hitting my head against smoldering brick. I started laughing as fresh air filled my dead lungs and fluorescent lighting filled my vision. Seconds later, I was running down the room as an alarm blared throughout the entire building. The door opened, an unassuming, unarmed soldier entering through with a stack of papers in his grasp. I gave off a hearty laugh as I snatched him from his feet and pinned him against a wall, sinking my fangs quickly in his neck before draining him of his blood. Taking nearly half of a minute, I noticed the door on the other side of the room breaking open, armed soldiers running through the doorway. I groaned and chucked the dead body in my grasp at them, knocking the group back as I made a speedy escape. I vaulted towards the stairwell, breaking open the door before shutting it behind me. I broke a small aluminum piece of the stair railing before jamming it through the handles of the door, effectively locking it for the time being.

I sped down the stairs and broke open the door, suddenly being confronted by an army of guards that had their katanas and bows aimed at me. I ran to the side, dodging numerous arrows before speeding towards a lone soldier. I grabbed his armed arm before throwing him down onto the ground, tearing away his black cape from his uniform. I draped it around my head as I sprinted towards a window, aiming to escape through it. Dodging another volley of arrow-fire, I threw myself against the window, falling a few stories before landing on the ground on my feet. Before the soldiers around me could react, I sped away towards the nearest exit I could find, vaulting over walls and vehicles before escaping through the underside of what looked like a bridge.

It was at this point that I knew I couldn't just keep running towards the walls; they would be waiting for me there. I needed to go incognito, at least until I could safely make it to the wall. There was also the fact that I was devoid of a UV arm band, making me exposed to the Sun's harmful UV radiation. Normal clothes should allow me to pass off, but not for long. Already, just seeing the light made me sick in my stomach. Ducking in the shadows, I soon made it to what seemed to be a residential district that was already in the process of being evacuated. Soldiers were everywhere, but I quickly scaled a skyscraper before entering through an open window.

Upon entering the building, I found myself in an apartment complex. I broke into one of the buildings, looking around to see if anyone was home. Luckily for the people who lived here, they weren't here to see me crawl in. I ditched the prisoner garments and stolen cape in favor of the resident's clothing. Whoever they were, they didn't have many clothes that could fit me, resorting to only sweatpants, a black t-shirt, a large jacket and a pair of sunglasses. I hid a few kitchen knives inside of my jacket as well, hoping I wouldn't need to use them. Pulling the hood of the jacket over me, I quickly jogged down the hall and down the stairwell.

I quickly tried blending into the crowd, covering my fangs as the unassuming masses of people crowded around me. Even with all the clothes and the sunglasses on, I still felt the effects of the Sun on my face. I stopped myself from wincing from the pain, trying to toughen myself through it as we slowly made our way near the wall. It must have been the most painstaking thing I have done as we slowly made our way for what felt like ten minutes of just stumbling around. I quickly lost my temper.

"Would you fucking hurry up!"I roared.

The crowd went silent upon looking at me. They saw the fangs.

"Oh shit,"I muttered.

A guard rushed at me with his katana. I quickly flung open my jacket and threw a knife at him, striking him in the chest before I jumped up from the scrambling crowd. I leapt towards the wall, breaking through the concrete wall with my fist. It was painful, but I had to scale it this way. Leaping up with each bound, I kept dodging arrow strikes as I made my escape. With one final leap, I made it to the top of the massive wall, meeting a few armed soldiers while landing. I threw another knife at a soldier before running behind him, using him as a human shield against another soldier's attack before throwing both of them off of me. A third soldier ran towards me and gashed me across the chest. I yelped in pain before taking out my last knife. I ducked under his next slash and sliced his quad before spinning around and stabbing his nape. The pain of the sun growing with each second, I leapt off of the wall as more soldiers came, dodging their attacks while falling hundreds of stories below onto the street. I landed, breaking a car in two before painfully running off again into the distance.

"Sayonara, suckers!"I laughed, trying my best to keep my speed.


Sorry with the late upload. College ain't exactly always friendly when it comes to personal time. As for the plausibility of the card bomb, Thai does recount an actual suicide/escape attempt? that happened in 1930. However, some sites said that nitrocellulose isn't used anymore in modern day Playing Cards and that the nitrocellulose was found only on red ink, making for the bomb to require many decks of red cards only. If you've seen Bicycle Playing Cards, normal decks have red backs. As for the argument that nitrocellulose isn't used today by card companies...for now, let's just say yes.

Ever get that story idea and you know what's gonna happen and what's the plot, but you can't write it as good as you hoped? Same. While I know what is going to happen, thanks to an already existing universe and plot (I wonder which one?), but, for those who have stuck on with this interesting concept, what do you guys think about the story so far? I know this sounds a little lazy, but I really want to know if you guys have any suggestions you want me to throw into the story or elements you want changed/taken out.