The drive to the centre was slow; Monica sat in the back singing along to the radio as song played. Austin say anything, he knew if Paige wanted to talk she would. Not even now will he force her to speak. Never have, never will. Nearing the Recovery Centre Paige decided to speak up.
"I'm sorry Monica; you should have told me what she did to you. Now, we won't ever see her again, okay. She can never hurt you again." Paige said giving a quick glance to her daughter before getting her eyes on the road again. Monica nodded her head a bit, giving a quite okay. "Austin, I'm also sorry. I should have contacted you after that day. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. All of this crap that has happened. Maybe I should have called you just to get your answer, which would have turned into me finding out it was false. And I'm going to shut up, I'm starting to ramble, but I am so sorry. I shouldn't have believed my mother's word when all she feeds me is lies."
"Don't be sorry, you must have been so scared being pregnant and all. I understand not wanting to get stressed or whatever. After you drop me off, can you tell my parents? They still live where they did when we were together." Austin replied, playing with his fingers as his eyes looked towards the floor of the car.
"Of course I can, want me to tell the others. Trish, Ally and Dez." Paige questioned as she took the last turn before the rehab centre.
"No, they're busy with work. I don't want bother them. Dez is overseas and Ally is on tour, and Trish is with her. They shouldn't drop everything for me. They practically almost did that the first time."
"Okay, I respect that, but when they get back tell them. Just so they know, I will vouch for you getting clean." The blonde spoke giving the singer a smile as she parked the car. Killing the engine she got out of the car, and got out Monica, not wanting to leave her in the car by herself. The girls waited for Austin to join them on their side before walking in, Monica playing with her mother's hair.
"Mummy, why are we at your work?" Monica asked as her eyes lay upon the front doors of the centre. Paige noticed Austin give a small tilt of his head in confusion. Yeah,
"Because we are dropping Austin off here okay. I don't have work, but you can go find Sherrie, she misses you." Paige said and Monica nodded. Paige put her daughter down and she walked into the place, Austin and Paige not far behind. Paige looked at Austin, "I volunteer here, I managed to keep it hidden from my mother that I do. Come on, let's get you signed in."
"So, I can see you often." He mused, hoping that he could, that would make going through this again better. Having her by his side while he went through this, like she was the first time round would make him feel slightly better about going through it all. In the corner of his eyes he saw her nod, making him smile a little to himself, it disappearing when he walked in. Paige moved her hand so he would go ahead to the front desk and he did. He watched as Monica ran up to a woman with her very curly black hair, and nice dark skin tone. His eyes watched the pair; Monica's mouth seemed to be going a million miles per hour as the women nodded along every now and then. Austin moved his attention away when he felt a nudge in his side, "Yeah I know Paige. Sorry she just seems so lively, like you." He murmured before he walked up to desk. "Hey, I'm here to check in." He said with a small sad smile.
The women behind the desk nodded. "And your name?" She asked
"Austin Moon." He replied, holding his hands together, starting to wring them together as she started going through stuff on the desk before pulling out a clipboard.
"You just need to put in your name, birth date and what you take." She said with a light smile upon her lips. "When you are done, I can just get Eliza here to get you through." The woman said before gesturing to Paige. "If you don't mind that is, you did come in with him. I thought you may want to help a bit more."
"I do, Gin. I will take him through the process." She replied, giving a reassuring smile to Austin who nodded and started to fill out the form. It only took a few seconds and he was ready to go. Paige took the clipboard and smiled before starting off down through a door, Austin following behind.
The detox process was tiring on the performer, his skin itched and he scratched at it. It was a whole three days in a room, with no one else in his room. Only visit from the nurses to supply him with food and water. He wondered what would happen; he hasn't heard anything about his parents yet. Maybe Paige decided not to tell them. It had been a two weeks now since he has been in the centre again; he's seen glimpses of Paige so he guessed she was too busy to visit him. He was now heading to a therapy session with a doctor. He has to do a few one on ones before he is allowed to speak with a group, so that they can assess him and see what will be best for him. As he was heading to the doctors room he heard Paige's voice coming from a group room. She was telling a story; well she was talking about Jake. Austin paused in his steps to listen to her.
"…Yeah, my brother wasn't an addict but he did die of an overdose. I can't help but feel guilty because it was partly my fault. With the attention my mother gave me over him. My mother thinks he was an addict 'Just like your father, he was a no good useless bastard. Just like Monica's father. I hope to god you never speak to him again.' Those were her words she spoke to me after Jake's funeral as everyone was leaving and Monica was asleep. Drugs haven't affected me the way that they have all of you, but they have affected the people I love. Including the guy I was, actually still am to this day in love with. I recently caught up with him, and yeah, he's my daughter's father. I'm pretty sure she is more the reason he's getting clean then me." She spoke, and his heart sank a little. He still did love her as much he did when they were together. He's doing it for both of them, for himself all at the same wanting. "He had a relapse, he was clean. We both were, I of self harm and he of oxy. I do not know what happened in the years after my mother decided to fuck up both of our lives for him to get back on it. Maybe it was the guy he was with. I don't know. All I care about right now is him getting clean, and him getting happy. I don't want to lose him like I did." Paige finished with a sigh, before saying. "Now that you guys know my story, I guess I should get back to actually working. But thank you for letting me tell you. And Doctor Carter, now you know what happened that day"
Austin heard a faint voice saying thank you before the sound of someone walking towards the door. He was slightly stunned to move, that was until Paige came out. He gave a small shake of his head, smiling at her.
"Austin, hey, what are you up to now?" She question with a friendly smile.
"I'm heading to a therapy session with a doctor." He replied, eyes finding to the ground.
"Cool, who is it?"
"Uh… Dr Hellinstin." Austin spoke as he started to walk; he noted Paige's feet right beside him. It was silent for a while as they walked. Why did the solo works have to be across the centre? He thought. Austin didn't mind the silence that was between them, it was nice, like it use to be, but with what he just heard his heart was still a little hurt and she clearly didn't know that he heard all of it, well most of her talking. After another few seconds he asked her "Why don't you think I'm trying to get clean for you, just as much as I am for Monica?"
Hearing the question, Paige paused a little in her steps but continued. "Because, I'm just me. I'm not your flesh and blood, but she is. You want to be in her life."
"But I want to be in yours too. I hate that I got back into oxy. When I took it that first day of my relapse, I fucking hated myself, so much I did the first cut." Austin replied back, eyes not leaving the ground. "I was at war with myself. Doing drugs and cutting myself. I had promised myself I wouldn't do any of that, but I did and hated myself for it, which only just caused me to do it again, to get rid of those feelings. What I did find with doing the drugs again, was that they dulled my memory of you. They would fade the memories, the feelings never. Memories would fade, just never the feelings. They stuck and kept me in the war. I lied to Justin about starting drugs again, to cover mine and Jake's ass for me giving him the drugs. So then when he got high later that day, he asked me join, and I just couldn't say no. I am not blaming Jake, if that is what it may sound like I'm doing, I'm not. It was my choice to go ahead with my lie. I fucking love you Paige, but if you seriously say we can't be friends and don't want us back together. I don't know what I will do. God, I'm pathetic. I will stay away, I will if that is what you want, because I don't think I can just be friends with you. It will drive me insane."
"Austin, look at me." Paige spoke her voice soft and worried as she stopped walking, Austin doing the same. She waited for him to lift his head, but it didn't happen and a frown spread across her lips. "Please, Austin."
Biting his lip, Austin lifted his head up a little. "You're frowning." He murmured lowering his head again, only for it to be brought up again. Saddened hazel eyes meeting green sympathetic ones.
"Yeah I am, because that's my reaction to not seeing your face. Austin, I don't want to be friends with you either and I don't want you out of my life either. I want you in my life, forever. Okay, I do. Now that I know that my mother screw us the fuck over. I don't blame you for anything that you have done. Relapsing, cutting or supplying my brother with oxy. Okay, I need you to know this. To believe this. I fucking love you too." She said before placing a kiss on his cheek.
"Austin, hurry up. I'm waiting." Dr Hellintsin's voice came as the women stepped out of the door. Her hair tied up in a ponytail. "And Eliza, someone called Mimi called about Monica. I don't think it's urgent, but the woman sounded a little scared."
"Okay Sherrie, Thank you." Paige said before turning to Austin. "Hurry up; I'll be around later, or tomorrow."
Austin gave a small nod and headed towards Sherrie. Paige headed away, and went to go to Mimi and Mike's place.
