I only got two reviews for the last chapter, two reviews out of one hundred and fifty hits. I don't think I have to tell you how disappointed I am...

Come on guys, it's the weekend -- surely you have a few spare moments? Especially since I'm starting to doubt this fic. I have a couple of one shots I'd rather be working on, and a burning desire to write something supernatural. I'm getting bored with drama -- I miss the island! ;)


Chapter 8. Trust

"Do you wanna move to the couch or something?" Jack asked, clearing his throat, when Kate continued to hold his gaze, determined now, suddenly nervous of what he might hear, and how it might affect their relationship. He'd waited so long for the truth, believing that it would make everything easier, but what if it wasn't something he could handle? "I have a feeling this isn't going to be a short conversation

"No, here's fine," she assured him, her voice dropping to barely above a whisper as she pushed her plate away. "In fact, it's probably better." She didn't say as much, but he could tell by the way she was avoiding his eyes that she was afraid of the same thing: that he would be repulsed by her once he knew, her and everything she was capable of; that this would cancel out his love for her, and cause him to send her away, out of his life.

He couldn't say for sure that it wouldn't change the way he felt, but so far, he couldn't think of anything she'd done; even sleeping with Sawyer; that had shaken him enough to make him wish that he'd never laid eyes on her, and he doubted that this would either.

"God, this is hard – harder than I thought it would be," she confessed, biting back another round of tears as she tried to find the words to begin, and watching her, Jack couldn't remember seeing her cry as much as she had since leaving the island.

"I know," he told her, taking her hand again, briefly this time, "but you need to relax. I trusted you by bringing you back here, now I need you to do the same thing. Whatever happened, whatever you did, we'll deal with it, but you have to tell me, Kate, please," he repeated, trying not to sound too demanding. They were so close to making a breakthrough: he didn't want to scare her off.

"You're right," she agreed, softly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand once he'd let it go. "I dragged you into all this by coming here – the least I can do is tell you why they're after me."

She took a few moments to compose herself, fixing her eyes on an invisible speck on the carpet, then finally, began to talk, relating the chain of events that led her to board the plane with the marshal. He listened, transfixed, as slowly, the pieces of her life began to fall into place, making sense of words and events he'd long since given up hope of ever understanding: the caves, the plane, that kiss… but when she reached the end, one thing still bothered him.

"This guy, your father, stepfather, Wayne – did he ever…?" he asked her, swallowing hard, unsure of how to continue, or if he even wanted to. He couldn't stand the idea of someone who was supposed to love her touching her like that: while it made her relationship with Sawyer easier for him to understand, it made it harder for him to stomach.

"No," she assured him, shaking her head vehemently, her expression twisting with disgust, and he wondered if she was lying. No matter how much he pressed her, he could never see the Kate he knew admitting to something like that.

Of course there was an equally strong chance that she was telling the truth.

He could see her wanting Wayne dead if he'd crossed that line, especially after learning that he was her biological father – he could see himself wanting him dead – but beyond the obvious sense of violation and betrayal, her motivations were harder to identify with. She'd hated him, that much was evident, but why? "So why'd you do it, Kate?"

He was expecting another string of excuses, some justification of why it had to be done that only made sense to her, so he was surprised when she shook her head again, answering softly, and honestly, as far as he could tell, "I don't know. It's like you said – I made a mistake."

It both pleased and pained him to hear her admit it, since it was unlikely to do her much good now that the deed was done. It didn't help that she'd run, either; that just cemented her guilt in the eyes of the law. "I really wish you'd found another way to deal with him," he told her gently, seeing how wretched she was; how much she hated herself; and not wanting her to think that he was judging her when he still couldn't be sure that she was telling him the whole truth, "But then I wouldn't have met you." He smiled at her, and she smiled too, feebly at first, then with something akin to relief.

"So you don't wanna turn me in?" she checked, half as a joke, though he could see that it was something that she'd been stewing on for a while. She seemed surprised that he was taking it so well, and, if he was completely honest, so was he. A year, or even three months, earlier, he wouldn't have been so sympathetic to her plight.

But while he knew that he could never betray her like that, like her mother, her fathers, and even Sawyer, he couldn't help thinking that she'd hit the nail almost on the head. "No," he agreed, turning thoughtful as he added, "But I think you should turn yourself in."

The colour drained from her face, and she grew flustered at these words, not knowing how to rebut them. "Jack, you know I—" she protested, sitting up straighter in her chair in preparation for an argument, but he cut her off.

"I'm not saying you should do it today, or even tomorrow, but it's the only way to get your life back," he told her, and while he knew that she was still coming up with excuses, the defeat in her eyes told him that she'd come to the same conclusion too. She couldn't run forever: sooner or later she was going to get caught, and even if she didn't, it was no way to live.

"I saw the look on your face, Kate, after you found out that test was negative," he said when she wouldn't look at him, picking at a loose thread on her jeans. "Tell me you weren't disappointed – that part of you doesn't want that life."

"I wasn't," she insisted, but her voice was trembling, and she wouldn't look at him, and for once, there was no doubt in his mind that she wasn't being completely honest with him. "I didn't want that, not unless…" he waited for her to finish, but she met his eyes with a guilty look, then quickly glanced away, unwilling to let him in on whatever it was that she was thinking. "It's not important," she finished with a dismissive shake of her head.

"Well, whatever you did want, you can have it," he assured her, ignoring the combined hope and disappointment that rose inside of him as he realised how naïve he must sound, but he needed to believe that she still had a chance, that they had a chance, "just as soon as all of this is behind you. You can live in the world again, Kate, but you have to fight for it – you can't keep fighting yourself or the people around you, not if you want things to change."

Especially between us, he added silently, wondering if this was what she'd been hinting at before when she'd almost admitted that it wasn't the baby itself that she'd wanted.

"I've been running for so long, I wouldn't even know where to start," she confessed after a long moment, as if she were hoping that he'd have an answer, he who always seemed to know how to fix things: everything except her.

Fortunately, for once he did. "My friend Marc – the one you met this morning – is a lawyer," he told her, realising how stupid he'd been to throw him out of the apartment in a fit of petty jealousy, when he was probably the only one who could help her; he'd have to grovel to get him back in their corner, but he was willing to swallow his pride if it meant helping Kate.

She glanced up at him dubiously, her thoughts apparently along the same lines, but she seemed to be listening, so he went on, "Provided he's not still pissed at me, why don't we start there?"


I was going to create an OC for Kate's lawyer, but I decided to use Marc again instead, since I like writing him, and I like the friction between him and Jack over Kate. Maybe he'll even hit on her... ;)