Author's Note:
dragonbookaddict: You're the kind of reviewer authors like me dream about. Thank you so much for the sweet words!
Ultra Chaos: You're right! The song fits Starscream like a glove. Thanks for showing it to me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.
Chapter 8: Spark
A week later…
Optimus woke to the sound of screaming.
With lightning speed, the Commander leaped from his berth, from his quarters, and to where the sound was originating from—the latrine. Jetfire was standing defensively at the open door, glancing towards the Autobot leader as he approached. The shuttle's unmistakable expression of fear only made Optimus further dread what he was about to see. As he looked in the room, Prime felt his spark skip a beat. Ratchet was in the small confines, a short distance between him and Starscream, a metal syringe sticking out from one of the seeker's soft tubing.
The doctor didn't even glance at his Commander as he said earnestly, "Starscream. I'm not going to hurt you! Please, calm down!"
"Stay away from me," replied the red one as he crushed himself further into the tight corner. "All of you, stay away from me!"
"Starscream," said Optimus gently.
Starscream was absolutely petrified—his wide, blue optics flicked to each mech in the room, as though one of them might attack him at any moment. A hand gripped the syringe in his arm, prying it lose and throwing it to the ground. The body scanner was also there, discarded. Energon tears strained from the corners of his scared eyes, some dried and some fresh, a line of pink draining from his mouth. He must have been sick when—
Ratchet, once again, tried to approach. Without any warning, the seeker shrieked, the sound echoing and intensifying so much that Optimus' vision blanked for a moment. Prime shook his head to rid himself of the effect, as did the other three. Immediately, the medic withdrew his intentions, throwing a glance at his friend. "Well, Prime, I'm at a standstill."
"Starscream," the Commander set in, "trust Ratchet. He won't hurt you. I can promise that."
"NO! No, no, no, no," said the seeker as he shook his head. "Don't trust anyone. Can't let anyone get inside ever again!"
"Do you trust me?"
Starscream held Prime's gaze for a moment, the Commander's question sinking in. The seeker's optics were so terrified, it nearly broke Optimus' spark in two. He knew where the fear was coming from, and the irrational thoughts running through his mind. If he could just—
Suddenly, the seeker lurched over and spit up, what little energon left in his tank coming forth. Jetfire, as though waking from a dream, immediately went to the seeker's side. Starscream shot out an arm, as thought to keep the shuttle at a distance, but the white Autobot completely ignored it. Taking his wrist, Jetfire pulled the weak and shocked ex-Decepticon to him. With his incredible strength, he pulled Starscream into his arms in one swoop, despite the smaller one's protest.
"Put me DOWN!" screeched the seeker as he kicked and struggled.
"Red Alert, get your aft to the med bay now!" hailed Ratchet over an open comm. Link.
'Is everything ok, sir?' asked Hot Shot, who was on fire watch.
'We're taking Starscream to the med bay,' answered Prime. That was all the info Hot Shot needed to realize what was happening.
Starscream coughed once, as though he was going to retch again. Jetfire held one of the seeker's wrists, his legs tight against the shuttle's shoulder as Ratchet led the three mechs to the infirmary. The door whooshed open and that was all the reason the seeker needed to start struggling again. Legs kicked and arms bolted out, but Jetfire held strong as he put the panicking seeker onto the surgical berth. Fresh, new tears of fear were running down the seeker's face, and Optimus couldn't help but feel like he was betraying Starscream, too.
"All his stats are off the charts, I have to break him open," said the medic, as though reading his Commander's thoughts.
"Are you certain?" pressed Optimus. A sob, something he never heard come from the ex-Decepticon, broke through the heavy air.
Ratchet stared directly into Prime's optics. "His spark is going to boil unless I relieve some of the pressure."
Optimus cycled a deep breath of air. "Ok. Do it."
Starscream screamed with defiance as Ratchet picked up another syringe from a silver tray next to him. Optimus took both of the seeker's feet and held them down, allowing Jetfire to put the energy bindings in place. Taking both wrists, the shuttle shoved the smaller mech against the bed again, forcibly placing both hand restraints on as well. The red one struggled against the bindings, but being so weak, he couldn't possibly escape. Then, the seeker stared up at the shuttle, a half-choked sob escaping him as he said, "I trusted you! I trusted you and you betrayed me, Jetfire!"
The realization struck the shuttle like a bullet and Optimus and the medic could see it clear as day. A wounded expression crossed over the white Autobot's face which the Commander had never seen the likes of before—usually his second could maintain his emotions in even the most stressful situations. The pair's strained gazes were locked together, even as tears further streamed down Starscream's face.
"I…I…" started the shuttle, fumbling for words.
Red Alert suddenly appeared by the surgical berth and Ratchet forced Starscream's head to the side, piercing one of his soft veins on his neck. A scream bubbled in the ex-Decepticon's throat, but only momentarily, as the sedative rapidly spread through him. Optics became glazed, Starscream's frame slowly relaxed, his limbs going limp, his head lolling against the silver berth. Optimus couldn't help but notice Jetfire remained rooted to the spot, one hand tightening into a fist.
"Jetfire…" started the Commander.
Ratchet, however, waved a hand in front of the shuttle, breaking his trance. "Jetfire, I need you to open him. I haven't operated on many seekers and only know how to bring their nose cone up vertically. I need you to open him down the middle."
"But—"
"Do it now, or he'll be dead by morning!" snapped the medic as he pulled overly bright surgical lights over the red one's flaccid body.
Jetfire flinched, but stepped closer, his dark hands roving over Starscream's cockpit glass. With the slightest movements, he searched for the small lever or button he would touch whenever interfacing with a seeker back on Cybertron. Primus, it had been too long…. After what seemed liked forever, Jetfire's large, fumbling fingers found the trigger. Gently, the shuttle pulled it and a seal opened directly down the center of the ex-Decepticon's body. Sliding down the opposite sides of Starscream's frame, they revealed a bland, grey sheet of metal. Jetfire set to work as he found the inner workings of the different protective shields, which were usually four or five for seekers. After the fourth slab moved, Jetfire could tell he was on the last one—the light of Starscream's spark shined through even the thick defensive barrier. When the shuttle moved it aside, all four mechs gasped.
What seemed like—in all its impossibility—was that Starscream did not have just one spark…he had four.
"What in the pits?" asked Jetfire to no-one in particular.
"He has…" started Red Alert.
"Mini-Con sparks inside him," answered Ratchet. "Inside his spark chamber. Each separated."
"How is that possible?" asked Optimus.
After a note of silence, the three Autobots glanced at the senior medic—whose gaze remained on the spark casing. Ratchet, as the kliks went by, seemed to grow more infuriated. Teeth clenched, blue optics burning with rage, he growled, "Damn Hook to the very pits. Damn him! Damn him!"
Jetfire returned his attention to the spark. Like any other, Starscream's spark casing sat in a wall of sensitive cables and wiring, a soft barrier from the hard cavity of metal which housed the spark chamber. Wires were plugged into the casing and energon pulsed away and to the spark, just like everyone else. However, with the three additional sparks, there was an erratic beat, and the usual energon pressure in the mech's veins was now bloated and overly hot. Starscream's blue spark pulsed with a regular, soft rhythm, and three smaller balls of pink lights floated around the larger. His blue spark was brilliant and bright; soft beams touching the clustered, black wires. In Jetfire's perspective, he'd never seen anything more beautiful, as terrifying as the situation was. Starscream was, technically, housing three lives, plus himself. No wonder he kept getting sick. And no wonder he was so powerful.
"Alright, he needs to be regulated, he's overheating," snapped Ratchet. Pure hate had settled in his optics and his voice was tight.
"Ratchet…" started Optimus.
"This is fragging terrible, Prime! Hook killed three Mini-Cons and stuffed their life force into a single spark casing! Starscream might as well be a semiconductor, in human terms. No wonder he gets sick. He either has to expel the energy, or it builds up inside of him," ended the doctor in a grumble. "As I said, I need to make him stable. Red Alert, give me those tubes."
The two medics fled into their work, and the two other mechs stepped aside. Optimus glanced at his second, but Jetfire was absorbed into staring at the seeker's face. The Commander felt for the shuttle; he had a feeling Ratchet was simply checking in on the two while Jetfire monitored Starscream's night. No doubt the seeker panicked when he saw the doctor, and one thing led to another….
Hours passed by like days and finally Ratchet stood straight, a frown etched across his face.
"Done," he said, his tone calmer now. "The sparks, together, produce enough energy for two of Starscream's size. From everyday hereon, he'll have to expend it in some way, otherwise his body will eventually…hrm…"
"Explode," finished Jetfire.
They each glanced at him, but Ratchet replied, "In essence."
Optimus sighed. "How did Hook even manage to get them in there? How did Starscream survive with his spark exposed?"
"To be honest, Prime, your guess is as good as mine," answered the orange mech as he wiped his hands of grease and energon. "If I knew, I could've saved a lot more lives during this entire Primus-forsaken war. Getting those datapads might be more necessary than I previously thought."
Jetfire wandered closer to ex-Decepticon. He hadn't shed his hurt expression during the whole operation—and Prime was getting a hunch that the shuttle had feelings for the other flier. Then again, Jetfire took his job seriously and probably felt like he was failing Starscream by forcing him to face his deepest fears.
"Do you think he'll be alright?" Jetfire's voice was very quiet and Optimus gathered that intuitive feeling again.
"There are several variables, Jetfire," replied Red Alert. "So long as he expels the extra energy he creates, his physical profile should be fine. However, with those sparks, a part of the Mini-Con might still be alive. They could try to send him thoughts and feelings, maybe even try to manipulate him."
"Depending the way they died, they also might be very afraid," added Ratchet. "So they might be trying to take over without realizing it—especially with the fear Starscream feels. They might think they're still in their own bodies…or they already know they're in Starscream and they want to protect themselves by using Starscream's body. It's hard to say."
Silence dropped over the four mechs again. Jetfire glanced sadly at the ex-Decepticon and Prime somberly observed the varying tubes and pliers which stuck out from Starscream's chest cavity. He looked probably close to the same as he did when Hook was experimenting on him and the Commander scowled. Before Optimus could mention something, Starscream stirred, earning the attention of all the mechs around him.
"Frag!"
Things seemed to fall into slow motion—Ratchet was reaching for another sedative, Optimus and the other medic jumping towards the seeker and Starscream was aware before anyone could do anything. Two blue, confused optics glanced down…and that was enough.
Starscream screeched, bucking his hips as he pulled his hands and feet inward. One of the blue bindings sparked under the pressure and Optimus and Red Alert jumped in, trying to hold him down. The monitors surrounding them began going off with loud, alarming beeps, adding to the general chaos. Suddenly, a mirror was dropped in front of Starscream's face as Jetfire captured the back of the seeker's helm in a single hand.
"Starscream, stop! Look! Look, look, look!" exclaimed Jetfire.
The ex-Decepticon struggled for another moment, but halted when his panicked gaze caught the sight of his spark reflecting in the handheld mirror. The surprise was enough to completely distract the smaller flier, his optics glued to the image.
"Wh…what…" he whispered. "How is that…? Are those…?"
Everyone remained quiet as Starscream tried to answer his own questions. Jetfire almost felt relieved showing him—at least he could realize why they needed to get to his spark. They only wanted to help, they really did.
"Those…are the Mini-Cons," said Starscream, his tone breaking. "I remember…on the table next to me….they were…just lying there. All the blood…their optics were dark. I can hear them…" Starscream let his head lean into Jetfire's hand, squeezing his optics shut, a pained look drawing over his face. "I can hear them screaming…"
Primus, thought Optimus. Hook hadn't even given the Mini-Cons mercy by sedating them before their deaths, or making them painless. They were just resources to him. They were just…
"I can hear them screaming," Starscream said again as his voice grew in volume. "I can feel…Hook tearing open their spark chambers…it hurts!"
The seeker's optics snapped online again, but instead of blue, they were white. Jetfire was pulled away by Optimus as one of Starscream's arms burst from the restraints. Ratchet, like lightning, used the sedative in his hand and stabbed the seeker underneath the arm, directly into the vein. Starscream growled, yanking at his other limbs for freedom, when the drug set in. The other four waited and watched as Starscream quickly lost the will to fight back. The ex-Decepticon slurred a few curses in Cybertronian, his arm flopping over the side of the berth. Jetfire tore from Prime's grip as he took Starscream's helm into both his hands, quickly saying, "Everything's going to be ok, Starscream…everything's going…to be ok."
Starscream stared haphazardly at the shuttle for a brief moment, his neck losing its strength. The seeker said Jetfire's name weakly before the sedative lugged the red one in unconsciousness. Optimus couldn't help but note how terrified Starscream sounded.
"Are all of you crazy?!"
"Blurr, don't even get me started," said Jetfire as he rubbed his sore optics.
"Starscream's here out of a complete will of his own," Optimus said instead, tapping his second's shoulder. Prime was growing more and more aware of Jetfire's attitude about the seeker. "And because Megatron betrayed him. They tried to make him into a super soldier by tying him down and breaking open his spark chamber."
"He's a Decepticon," continued the speedster, giving a look to Prime as though his Commander had lost his processor. "You say Megatron turned him into a super soldier? Isn't that what Starscream's always wanted? He's probably just buying his time until he catches us off guard! This would be a great victory for the Decepticons, and would be way too tempting for Starscream to resist!"
"His opportunity has come and gone, Blurr," retorted Hot Shot. "The guy is as anti-Megatron as any one of us. If he wanted to blast us away, it would've been a lot earlier. He saved my life a week ago, and gave Megahead one intense pounding."
"He's just trying to get your trust!" exclaimed Blurr as he shook his head. "And you're all falling for it!"
"It's more like the other way around," grumbled Jetfire as he sucked on an energon cube, settling into one of the common room's chairs. For as noisy as Blurr had been about the subject, Scavenger, who was standing in the corner, was as quiet as a statue. The only thing which betrayed him was crossed arms and a mulling expression.
"Starscream has also issued important information for us which I've forwarded to the rest of the troops," continued the Commander, "and he's also helped us by retrieving the Mini-Cons. In addition, he has no aggression to the humans. Is there anything else I can add?" He turned to the other Autobots.
"Besides being betrayed by Megatron and saving Hot Shot's life? No," answered the shuttle.
Blurr, however, was up in arms. "I can't believe this."
"Well, he's sticking around, so I'd get used to it," said Hot Shot as he folded his arms. The sportster's tune was very matter-of-factly, enough to put down any other rebuttals Blurr wanted to stir up.
With a huff, the white and blue mech turned sharply away from his fellow mechs and stomped down the corridor. No doubt he was off to the firing range to blow some heat—Optimus hoped that would be enough to cool him off until the Commander could personally speak with him.
"Well, I'm gonna go see how Starscream's doing," said Jetfire as he pushed himself to his feet and left the common room.
Hot Shot said as he also exited, "If anyone needs me, I'll be with Jolt in the simulators."
The room was suddenly very quiet and Optimus sighed as he rubbed his helm. "I haven't heard anything from you, Scavenger."
His mentor mulled a klik more before he said, "I'm trying to figure out how I missed all of this."
Glancing at his friend, Prime said, "When you were at their base?"
"It baffles me," the purple mech replied with a frown. "I'm trying to remember the drawing line, when Megatron stopped considering Starscream as a soldier, and then started thinking of him as only a resource. I mean, all the Decepticons are expendable, but…I still just can't believe it."
"You couldn't have known, Scavenger," murmured Optimus, placing a comforting hand on the other's shoulder. He knew the Autobot felt bad, and that he could've saved Starscream from the pain and anguish. "He probably wouldn't have believed you anyways."
"I don't know, Optimus," replied Scavenger, "Starscream, he….didn't quite fit in, and that's putting it in very light terms. All the other Decepticons seemed to avoid Megatron's brutality, but Starscream always caught more heat than he ever deserved. We all knew that Starscream wasn't a shining star as far as Decepticons are concerned, but Megatron definitely used it as an excuse to heap the blame on him. I'm mortified by what's happened, but I'm not altogether surprised, either."
"Well, what's important is that he's in our care, now," said Prime quietly. "And, as a matter of fact, I need your help with something."
Scavenger perked at the Commander's words, quirking an optic at the other. "What's that, exactly?"
Optimus smiled slightly beneath his facemask, but the purple Autobot could easily see it through his optics. "Perhaps a way to get Starscream to trust us."
"Hey sleepy face," said Jetfire gently, a hand resting on Starscream's helm.
The seeker came to slowly, his dark blue optics hazy, his processor muddled. His limbs felt like dead weight, he couldn't hope to move them. He could only lay there as Jetfire gently brushed his fingers across Starscream's head. The sensation was actually quite nice; of course, the Decepticon in him pointed out that Jetfire was technically "petting" him, but the seeker allowed it for now. He was slowly waking up, and he didn't want the nausea to come reeling back. All he could recall was puking up what felt like all his internal organs when Ratchet showed up to help—then he blacked out.
Groaning, Starscream made to reach up and rub his face, but his wrist was bound. Nervousness crept into the seeker the more he was aware of things—and the more he remembered.
"They just didn't want you to panic again," supplied the shuttle, "I'll go ahead and turn them off."
Starscream watched the white Autobot stand and fiddle with the buttons on the surgical bed. The restraints were released, and the red one immediately sat upright and, throwing his legs over the side of the berth, tried to stand. The seeker yelped in surprise when vertigo made his surroundings spin, his legs folding beneath him. Starscream was caught by a pair of strong arms before he crashed to the ground, but the dizziness made him cling to Jetfire's secure frame.
"My…my head!" exclaimed Starscream in terror.
His feet were swept the ground and his body was placed back onto the flatness of the berth. Starscream's entire world whirled out of control, a sensation he hadn't experienced in a very long time. Fear was beating at his mind, his thoughts rocket firing as he imagined all the terrible things which Ratchet might have done to him. Was he going to die? He remembered seeing his spark, and the smaller ones around it, during the surgery. Those sparks, did he—
"It's ok Starscream," said Jetfire gently, "but it looks like the drugs haven't totally worn off yet. You should lay down for a bit longer."
The seeker's pained expression didn't make Jetfire feel any better. Moreover, Starscream's optics flicked left and right, taking in the med bay like it was prison. Ratchet made a point to hide most of the equipment, but it didn't seem to make any difference. The ex-Decepticon was scared stiff.
Jetfire waited for a while, listening to Starscream's intakes draw in cycles of air as though he was suffocating. Unsure, and aware it was the only thing which seemed to help the red one, the shuttle smoothed his hands over Starscream's wings again. The white Autobot observed patiently and continued to touch the sensitive areas, making sure he didn't try to sit up abruptly again—and after a half hour passed, the med bay became quiet. Starscream was calming down.
"You…I…" whispered the seeker, connecting gazes with the shuttle. "You were in the latrine with me."
"Yeah, you were sick again," murmured Jetfire softly as he sat next to the red one again, releasing his wing. Starscream continued to stare straight into the shuttle's optics, even as he said, "Ratchet showed up, and then Optimus came too…you were panicking."
Starscream didn't remember that part. He did recall a strange voice showing up in his dream, though…that's right, he'd dreamt. No, he had a nightmare. The seeker's optics widened in realization as the memory surfaced. That's right. He'd fallen asleep in the latrine and fallen into a terrifying nightmare. Was it a nightmare? Jetfire said he started panicking. Was he awake, was he asleep? Starscream chomped on his lip as he tried to gather the blurry details together.
"How are you feeling?" asked the shuttle, interrupting his thoughts.
Being distracted, the seeker hadn't realized that he actually felt…alright. Besides fading faintness, his tanks didn't feel like they filled with acid. He didn't feel sore, or overly exhausted. His spark felt a little…strange…but he had a feeling it was something which happened during the operation. The operation. Under the knife again, as the humans put it. Primus, he didn't know if he could look Ratchet in his optics again.
"Um…alright," responded Starscream.
Jetfire seemed happy about that; his golden optics practically shined as he gazed at the seeker. Probably because he knew he wouldn't have to be stuck staying up all night, hoping Starscream wouldn't retch his own guts out.
Then, the white shuttle glanced at his feet, a more somber expression turning his usually calm optics dark. "Listen, Starscream, I…" began the Autobot, placing a hand on the seeker's arm, "I…just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know these things terrify you, but the way you looked in the latrine, I…it scared me. I just didn't want you to suffer. That's why I called Ratchet to come help. I hope you see that."
Puzzled, Starscream wondered why Jetfire felt like apologizing. Although he didn't completely trust Ratchet (or even Prime, for that matter), he'd hung around Jetfire long enough to see the Autobot had good intentions. Maybe something happened when he blacked out? The seeker tried hard to remember, back to when he was in the larine. He felt so awful, like his insides were being eaten alive. The little black box which Red Alert had tagged to him several weeks ago began to make an assortment of noises. The seeker could remember being terrified when he saw his spark chamber open later on, but it looked so much like when he had been at the Decepticon base, he couldn't help it. All the tubes and tools jutting out of him, the computers surrounding the surgical bed…but, he understood why Jetfire called Ratchet. It was an emergency. He remembered feeling arms around him, and how he was struggling against…
"You…don't remember?" asked Jetfire.
"I remember…" murmured Starscream slowly, saying each syllable, "…Hook. I remember seeing Hook in my nightmare. And Megatron." He looked at Jetfire directly, his blue optics searing straight into the shuttle's spark. "And you."
"Me?" asked the white Autobot stupidly.
"I was back at the Decepticon base," Starscream went on, "and Hook was trying to sedate me. I was trying to escape when I threw up, and you suddenly appeared…"
Jetfire's spark clenched tightly in his chest. Oh no…
"And you grabbed me, lifted me and took me to the lab," finished the seeker quickly. "I tried to get away, but…"
"Starscream, I…I'm so sorry," murmured the shuttle.
"It's not your fault," mumbled the red one as he averted his gaze to the far side of the room. Suddenly he felt like being alone, even in the med bay. He knew that it wasn't Jetfire's fault for the nightmare, but the way he was depicted in his memory was still too fresh. The shuttle's eyes were red and violent, his frame swathed in shadow, his strength overwhelming. Jetfire was even larger than Megatron, so it made sense why he feared him. As strange as it seemed, even in the nightmare Starscream had trusted the "Jetfire" there, so when he thought Hook and Megatron had strapped him down, he felt even more betrayed. He felt it was real.
"Starscream, I would never, ever hurt you," beseeched the white Autobot, his fingers tightening around the seeker's arm. "Please…believe me."
"I believe you," muttered the other. Turning to look at Jetfire again, Starscream realized his tone was enough to make the other think otherwise. "I just need more recharge, I think. Some quiet. Remembering the nightmare just rattled me. I just need to sort it out."
Jetfire didn't move still, his golden optics filled with hurt. Starscream wanted the 'bot to stay, truly, but he needed to calm down first. He never had any other mech even remotely seem interested in Starscream's feelings, but Jetfire did. And he cared. He cared about the seeker's health, both physically and mentally. He wanted to make sure he was ok. It was more than he'd received after so many years with the Decepticons, and Starscream was grateful. At the same time, the holographic images kept flicking in and out of his vision, and he kept seeing "evil" Jetfire. Decepticon Jetfire. It was a frightening thing.
"I'll come out in a little while," reassured Starscream. "I'll be alright."
Jetfire glanced away and nodded, looking a little lost. Turning, the white shuttle finally left and Starscream relieved a heavy sigh. Glancing around, the seeker observed the room again to distract himself and noticed the medics had hid their various tools, as to not repeat the incident from earlier. It was strange: although Ratchet seemed so gruff, the ex-Decepticon could plainly see that the medic cared. Perhaps that's the way he'd always been and was simply used to behaving this way about patients, but Starscream liked the attention. He liked feeling like he mattered. He mattered, to the Autobots, his enemy…the seeker even felt a remote sense of trust for a couple of them. Jetfire especially. Maybe that's why he showed up in his nightmare? He was afraid of Jetfire also betraying him. Optimus, too. He liked them because they didn't treat him like a half-wit, like a burden. They cared about his welfare.
The more Starscream dwelled on the comforting thoughts, the more his processor began to slow. He didn't want to fall into recharge, but maybe just resting his optics for a few joors would help him…
Starscream heard the door to the med bay open, but the seeker refrained from bringing his optics online. Maybe if they saw he was sleeping, they would go away…
Unfortunately, the heavy mech sat down in the chair next to the berth. His pounding spark was enough to make the seeker note, with a measure of annoyance, that it was Jetfire again.
"Slaggit, Autobot, I'm fine," growled the red one. "Now let me get some rest."
"I think you and I are going to have a nice, long chat, actually," replied the mech.
Starscream snapped his optics open and turned his attention to the newcomer. He wished he hadn't.
