Remus, like the road trip, was the one who had suggested camping. Because weren't you supposed to camp on road trips? Or was that just some wild idea he had? They were driving down to Tennessee now, they'd park the van at the edge of the forest and put a concealment charm on it, then proceed to apparate deep into the forest where they (hopefully) wouldn't be found. They had just entered Kentucky, and like every time they seemed to be on the road, Sirius was scarily affectionate and Remus didn't know how to handle it.

If they hadn't kissed, he would have been fine, but because of that... it changed the situation, how he felt, and everything else. Given, at least Sirius wasn't asleep on his shoulder this time, nor was he singing at the top of his lungs, his arm slung around Remus's shoulder. No, he was sitting very close to Remus, his hand resting on his knee while he talked about his favorite non-magical creatures. Peter was sitting up front with James, so for once, Lily was one in the back, her nose buried in a book.

Remus caught her glancing in their direction many times, and each time she did Remus flared bright red because he felt stupid for being so nervous. He listened to Sirius talk the best he could, which wasn't very well since he was far too busy planning escape routes in his head that all consisted of jumping out of the moving car. After another moment, Remus gathered up whatever courage was left in his body and grabbed the hand that was on his knee, just to hold it, just to keep it warm.

Sirius didn't make any move to acknowledge the fact, but he heard Lily make some noise of realization all the while Remus wondered if jumping out of the car really was a possible option. Remus just held his hand for a while, until Sirius moved his hand away from his, but another second later he laced their fingers together and continued talking. Remus tried not to make any noise, and instead focussed on other things.

Turns out Sirius was fascinated with giraffes.

"Did wizards breed them? Did they just become so popular they took over the muggle world too? Certainly, something like that has magic origins!" Remus fought the urge to sigh again, he'd been at this for at least ten minutes despite the constant reassurance from everyone in the car that no, giraffes did not have magical origins. "But are you sure? How are necks that long without magic?" This time Remus did sigh and he fell back onto the mattress, draping his free arm over his eyes.

"I think you broke him," James mused, glancing back at them through the rearview mirror. He felt the mattress sag next to him. Dear Godric, is this how it's going to be from now on? Every time Sirius shows the smallest sign of affection he's going to worry that his heart might pop out of his chest? Remus sucked in a breath and held it, hoping Sirius wouldn't do something too drastic.

"He's not broken," Sirius assured them, jabbing his finger into Remus's cheek. Remus swatted his hand away and glared at him, making Sirius beam. "See, he's fine!" Remus moved his arm from over his eyes and flipped Sirius off, untangling their fingers and rolling over to face the door of the car. He felt Sirius put his hand on his hip, his cold fingers making contact with a small patch of exposed skin. "You're not broken, right Rem?"

"Right," Remus muttered. The fingers on his skin moved slightly until his thumb was rubbing small circles on his hipbone. He allowed himself to relish in the feeling, that's not wrong, is it? Remus didn't think so, just because he used to love Sirius didn't change the fact he was still a friend.

"We should arrive there in five hours," James announced. The rest of them nodded in silent acknowledgment and on they went. James was happily singing to some song on the radio, Pete was eating the snacks up front, and Lily was reading. The last two, however, were both far too aware of the hand that remained on Remus's hip.

Remus was almost beyond positive that he would've fallen asleep if it hadn't been for Sirius's scarily warm hand resting on his hip, his fingers occasionally tracing soft patterns along his skin. Remus laid there for a solid two hours, pretending to be asleep. During that time, he hoped that Lily would talk to Sirius the same way she would talk to Remus about the other. But, to his luck (not), she remained silent.

He would've kept pretending to be asleep if James hadn't stopped to get gas, the closing door 'waking' him up. He stirred slightly and groaned, lifting up a hand to rub his tired eyes. The hand on his hip shifted slightly upward and gave a small, barely noticeable squeeze before it disappeared altogether.

Remus didn't welcome the disappointment that came with it.

In fact, he loathed it.

"Aw, mornin' sleepy head!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus didn't move at first, but once he did it was so he could lift his hand and flip Sirius off. He pulled himself up and stretched his arms high above his head, exposing a small strip of skin above his waist. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine." Was his reply. His voice cracked slightly, much to his embarrassment. Thankfully, Sirius didn't notice it, but Lily did, he knew she did when she winked at him from behind her book.

"Did you have any good dreams?" Sirius asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows as a way to further what he was intending. Remus felt his stomach twist and turn, what did he expect?

"Oh, yeah definitely. I dreamt that James cast a permanent sticking charm on your lips," Remus teased. Sirius huffed indignantly and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a child.

"Fine! Then I'm not going to get you anything from inside, I was going to offer. I, for one, am craving something sweet. Maybe chocolate?" Sirius tapped his chin mockingly before opening the door.

"Wait! If you could please get me a water and some chocolate, that would be really nice."

"Oh yeah? What's in it for me?" Sirius replied, leaning against the open door.

"We'll see," Sirius smirked and shut the door behind him, leaving Remus to sigh in relief. Here it comes, interrogation time. Lily turned to face him after making sure that Peter really was asleep in the front.

"No sleep?"

"No sleep." Lily sighed and shut her book so she could scoot closer to Remus, who looked a bit disoriented. "You know, sometimes I wonder why I used to love him.," Remus sighed, pulled at a stray string on the pillowcase. "And then, other times, I remember so vividly I wonder if I all love him even now, too." Lily set her book off to the side and laid her head in Remus's lap.

"All soulmates, if they really are meant to be, find their way back to each other in the end. Sometimes it takes days, other times weeks or months or years. Just be patient, Moony, your time will come, yours and his." Remus chuckled and shook his head ever so slightly.

"You just called me Moony." Lily grinned up at him.

"Hmm, that I did." The door to the van swung open right at the moment, revealing Sirius, who had a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. Remus shared a confused look with Lily, both thinking the same thing. Merlin, what now?

"Guys, guess who I found!"

"Who you found? Merlin, Sirius, don't you mean what you found?" Sirius grinned even wider (if they were even physically possible) and shook his head, stepping to the side to reveal a terribly familiar face. Marlene. How'd that happen? How did he find her? Why her?

Her hair was significantly shorter than it was the last time he had seen her. Last time it was nearly down to her waist, now it was cut just above her shoulders. It was dyed so blonde that it appeared white, her eyes were the same piercing blue that they'd always been, her skin just as pale, freckles still dotting her cheeks. Remus felt physically sick. She was just as beautiful as ever, just as beautiful as she'd been the day Sirius asked her to be his girlfriend. Not that it lasted long.

/

It was late January during their final year at Hogwarts. Remus was sitting out in the Quidditch field, studying for exams while he watched James (and Sirius) practice. James was the seeker for their team this year since their old one had graduated and James was beyond happy, he was beyond happy when he became captain. Plus, Lily appeared to be mildly impressed, which was only an added bonus for James, the two of them seemed to be getting along now.

Sirius, on the other hand, was a whole different story. Sirius, he had noticed, had taken a liking to Marlene McKinnon, one of Lily's closest friends, if not the closest. James had noticed it as well, and he wasn't too happy about it, neither was Lily. She was convinced it was all some prank on Sirius's part, but the boys' knew it was more of a backup plan. They made a cute couple, Remus had to admit, but they weren't good together.

Whatever they had wad merely sexual attraction, no feelings involved, but did they know that? Remus assumed they didn't, or if they did he wondered why she accepted to be his girlfriend when he asked her after practice. He caught James' eyes across the common room, he looked pissed while Remus just felt betrayed.

It was early May when they finally broke it off. Rumors flew, some said it was because Sirius remained too loyal to his friends, others said it was because he cheated. Some even thought Marlene had become pregnant, not many people believed that one, though. According to James, Marlene had simply told him that he was becoming boring. Sirius? Boring? Those two words did not belong in the same sentence.

/

"Marlene," Remus greeted. He was hoping he was being kind enough, he didn't know how to act around her, he didn't like her. There were very, very few people that he knew that he disliked, and somehow Marlene was almost at the top of the very short list. The kind smile she gave him made Remus want to hurl, but instead, he returned it.

"What are you doing here?" Thank Godric Lily wasn't afraid to speak her mind. The fiery-haired girl remained in Remus's lap, seemingly without a care in the world. Thankfully, James was headed back to the van, Remus noticed his hands were filled with chocolate and other sweets. His eyes narrowed when he saw Marlene. He didn't say a word to her when he climbed up front, distributing the various sweet foods he'd gotten for them.

"Joining you." Remus couldn't deny that Marlene was a sweet girl. He knew Lily wouldn't have associated with her if she wasn't, Lily kept herself surrounded by good people. But they did have a falling out at some point, at some point they'd all started excluding Marlene, and Remus still didn't know why. No one had ever told him and he'd never thought to ask. He never wanted to, truthfully. But by the looks they were all (even Peter) giving her, it wasn't good.

"And who's idea was that?" James was the one who spoke this time. Marlene turned to face him, the smile slightly faltering.

"Mine," Sirius replied coolly, slipping an arm around her waist. Remus really did think he was going to be sick. He saw Peter fake a gag out of the corner of his eye, but it went unnoticed by Marlene who had turned back to Lily.

"Don't you want another girl? Isn't it hard being the only girl among four guys?" Lily didn't hesitate, she immediately shook her head.

"No, they're the best friends I could ask for, they're all more loyal than you, anyway. Except for maybe Sirius, here," Lily replied easily, shrugging. Sirius's happy face dropped, and he turned to James for some sort of back up, and then Remus. Remus wasn't going to say anything, he really wasn't, but the look in Sirius's eyes made him rethink that decision.

"Just... let them come. What's the worst that could happen?" Sirius smiled at him, a sincere smile, one that was filled with thankfulness. Nobody said anything more when the two climbed into the van. A moment later, they drove off, and Remus couldn't help but wonder that maybe if he'd said something different he could've prevented Sirius from going inside.

"So, Lily." The red-haired girl turned to face Marlene, who looked slightly uncomfortable. "Are you and James still together, or..." She glanced up at Remus. He snorted his response, did she really think, after everything, that he would date Lily? No, definitely not.

"I'm carrying his baby," Lily told her.

"Remu-"

"No! Merlin, no! James' baby, we're engaged, James and I." The whole van slipped into a silence. Remus looked up front, where James was clearly trying to fight off a nagging smile, but he couldn't seem to succeed. The look on James' face was priceless, he looked so happy.

"James finally worked up the balls to propose?" Peter gasped. Remus figured the shorter boy didn't want it to sound quite rude.

"He didn't," Lily mused. "I did."

"It wasn't proper!" James huffed.

"But we're going to get married there, aren't we?" Lily asked innocently. "If we are, I'd say it was proper enough." James went silent and Remus laughed as Lily proudly settled back down into Remus's lap. He glanced over at Sirius to share the small piece of amusement, but it all disappeared when he noticed Marlene comfortably leaning back into Sirius's chest, his arms protectively wrapped around her.

"It's bullshit," Lily whispered to Remus, nodding her head to Sirius and Marlene. "How did he even find her?"

"I owled her," Sirius piped up. Remus physically felt the pain that brought him.

"Bullshit indeed," Remus whispered back, ignoring the sinking stones inside his stomach.

/

After they had arrived and set up the tents, Sirius and Marlene had retreated into one. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if they had more than one tent. Even wizard tents weren't that big. James was silently fuming, Lily was trying to calm him down, and Peter was doing his very best to comfort the werewolf. Remus was sitting on a fallen tree, his head buried in his hands while Pete patted his back awkwardly. "It's okay, Remus," Peter assured him. "We'll just sleep out beneath the stars tonight, it's okay."

"Marlene!" Remus bit suddenly, shooting upwards. He startled poor Peter in the process, almost causing him to trip over a small bush. "Out of all people, it had to be her!" Remus angrily kicked a patch of dirt and began pacing. "Anyone else would've been fine, but no! It had to be her!"

"I know! Especially after what she did and what she said, how could he go back to her?" Remus stilled to a complete stop.

"Peter," Remus swallowed thickly. "What exactly did she do?" Peter's eyes widened.

"You don't know?" He shook his head and made his way back over to the fallen tree.

"Know what?"

"Why they broke up," Peter replied, sitting on the tree next to Remus. "He never told you?" He shook his head.

"James told me it was because Marlene said she'd grown tired of him, that he was becoming boring, but I'm assuming it was more than that." Peter nodded.

"Maybe around two months into their relationship, Marlene said something against werewolves and Sirius flipped his shit. I mean completely, Remus. It was on the night of the full moon, James was out with you. I was in the common room with the two of them, I don't remember exactly what she said, it wasn't as bad as what he said to you, but... I'd never seen him so angry." Peter paused for a moment before continuing. "But she didn't break up with him over that, and he didn't break up with her. They broke it off when Sirius caught her cheating with someone two years younger than they were."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" This time, Peter hesitated. His friend was never very sure of his words, neither was Remus, but Peter looked like he knew it was something he probably shouldn't say. Or maybe that was Remus's own anxiety.

"James told us not to," Peter admitted. "But don't get mad at him! I wasn't supposed to tell you and I certainly wasn't going to tell you we weren't supposed to tell you, but you deserve to know why the rest of us hate Marlene."

"Why didn't he want you to tell me?" Peter paused again, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

"We all knew how protective you were of Sirius. Then, now, you always had been, you still are. There's no point in denying it." Remus wasn't going to deny it, he was protective of Sirius. But then again, he actually cared. He was his best friend alongside James and Peter, they all cared more than Marlene ever would.

"If she hurts him again I'm going to fucking kill her," Remus grumbled, kicking another patch of dirt from where he sat on the tree.

"I'd help you, we all would. We'd do the same for you or James or Lily, well, maybe not Lily. I hope you'd do the same for me," He said, shrugging once. "We're the Marauders, even as we get older that's never going to change." Remus grinned at his friend and hugged him. Peter was the least affectionate Marauder, he never was very fond of hugs or physical affection, but sometimes...

Peter hugged Remus back.

"Of course we'd do the same for you, Pete. You're a Marauder, just like the rest of us."

"Thanks, Remus, I need the reassurance sometimes."

"I know, Pete, now let's go set up where we're going to sleep," Remus suggested. Peter nodded, pulled away, and headed back to James and Lily, both of which were staring at the tent they'd set up in distaste.

"Bitch." Remus snorted at Lily's choice of wording, despite how accurate it was. "She's changed so much since we were younger. When I first met her she could barely say a word without stuttering, and now..." Lily trailed off and shook her head. Remus felt a pang of sympathy for her, losing a friend was never easy, and the way their friendship ended was one of the worst ways possible.

"Maybe you could talk to her about it?" Peter suggested. "You know, try to get her to snap out of it."

"Marlene, as shy and sweet as she was, was also stubborn and hard-headed. She wouldn't listen to a word coming out of my mouth."

"She wouldn't even consider it?" This time Remus spoke. Sirius was the same way, but when given advice or some sort of criticism he'd at least think it over. If he was wrong he wouldn't admit defeat, but he'd silently change what he was doing wrong, he'd change.

"Probably not."

"Isn't it at least worth trying?" She shook her head again, looking up at Remus.

"She made her bed, and now she has to lay in it."

"Speaking of beds," James piped up. "Shouldn't we make ours?"

/

Thirty minutes later, they had three sleeping bags spread out across a cleared patch of dirt. The sky was now dark and the moon was held heavy in the sky. It was so different here, Remus noted, you could actually see the stars. You could see them at Hogwarts too, but where they had lived after the sky was too clouded with pollution. For a brief, very brief, moment, Remus almost rolled over to tell Sirius to look at the stars with him.

But then Remus remembered he wasn't there.

When in school, they snuck up to the astronomy tower many, many times to look at the stars. It was one of their safe places away from everybody else. He rolled over in his sleeping bag, where James and Lily were sleeping. They were sharing one for warmth, even though it was a warm summer's night. Despite this, though, he was shaking. He didn't know why, but it made it awfully hard to fall asleep.

"Moony?" That was James. His voice made Remus still. He could see James squinting in the dark, clearly trying to find out if Remus was awake. "You asleep?"

"No," He admitted. Maybe a late night talk would James would calm him down, they hadn't had one of those for quite some time.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure, let me grab my wand." Remus got up and shuffled through his bag for a moment before he grasped the wooden object. "Lumos. Okay, we can go." James carefully slipped out of his sleeping bag and joined Remus, so they began.

"You doing okay? With Marlene and everything, you and Sirius were getting on so well and then..."

"Yeah, no I... I'm not... well, I could be doing better." James slung on arm over the werewolf's shoulder and pulled him close, in some sort of bro-hug.

"Yeah well, Marlene is a bitch. I talked to Sirius, he agreed to try to make things better. Maybe, in some fucked up way, that's what he's trying to do. We know how he can be, take one thing and change it completely." Remus hoped he was right. He hoped that this wasn't because Sirius wanted to show Remus he was completely done, he hoped this wasn't because Sirius realized Remus wasn't good enough.

"I miss him." Everyone knew he did, he'd just avoided saying it. But James... he was always comfortable talking to him.

"I know, Moony. Give him time."

"I've given him plenty. I don't even want to be with him like that anymore, I just want him to stop shutting me out." James sighed and squeezed Remus's shoulder. "Good things come to those who wait, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, something like that."