Several days into Belphegor's hospitalisation, Lussuria finally broke the news he hadn't wanted to tell his charge. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, the man took a thin hand in his, a sad smile on his face as the blond growled at him and tried to pull his hand away.
"I have to go back to Italy." Reaching out, the older male threaded his fingers through dirty golden locks, wishing he could hug the boy. "When Xanxus heard what happened, he broke up with Squalo and fired him. I've got his position now, and you know how it is; very demanding."
Belphegor shrugged, looking over to Takeshi who was on his other side. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lussuria spoke again.
"Have you got your phone, honey?"
Turning back to his guardian, Belphegor shook his head. "I broke it."
"I'll go and buy you a new one before I leave; I want to know that you're doing okay, and what's going to happen with court." Getting to his feet, the man leant down in order to kiss the boy's temple in farewell. "I love you lots, sweetheart~"
Takeshi, who had come to learn that Lussuria really did love the blond like his own child, couldn't help but frown when his friend simply ignored the adult; no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand how the boy could push Lussuria away like this. "Bel… Maybe you should say bye to him, at least."
"I'm really used to it, hon," Lussuria promised, feeling his mood lift a little at Takeshi's consideration; he never got it from Belphegor, after all. "That's just how Bel-chan is. Would you come for a walk with me, please? I want to get to know Bel-chan's new friend better~"
"Sure." Takeshi smiled before he looked down at Belphegor, putting his hand on the other's skinny side. "I'll be back soon, Bel. Try and get some sleep."
Belphegor hummed in response before he rolled onto his side, careful not to agitate his injuries, and closed his eyes. He had a feeling that Lussuria was going to try and warn the teenager about him, but he found that he just didn't have the energy to care; he just wanted to sleep and never wake up again.
~~XX~~
While Lussuria truly did want to get to know Takeshi, he also knew that, if the two teenagers were to continue hanging around each other, the youngest needed to be taught how to handle Belphegor; he didn't know how much Takeshi had seen, but the odds were, not much – Belphegor was a genius, and he had learnt to mimic normal behaviour through observation; if he wanted to, he would know how to hide his twisted side and come off as a normal boy to Takeshi, which seemed to be the case already.
"Hon, I hate to ask this of you, but would you give my dear Bel-chan a home until all of this is over and done with?" Lussuria glanced down at the younger, glad to see the other's smile hadn't faltered in the least; he might have a chance of finding Belphegor somewhere safe to stay until he was able to return to Italy once everything was over and dealt with.
"Yeah, of course." Takeshi laughed softly, his eyes shining with joy. "Bel's been coming over quite a bit; I think he feels comfortable with me."
"I'm really glad. But you know that with Bel-chan, you need to be careful around him, alright?" Lussuria hated the look of confusion on the teenager's face, feeling as if he were just about to break the other's heart. "Bel-chan is really very sick. I don't know if you have noticed it or not, but he can be very difficult and even dangerous."
"He's told me he's tried to kill himself, and that he gets angry…" A thoughtful hum left Takeshi's throat as he grabbed his chin, thinking intently. "He doesn't like my friends, and he's hit Gokudera before, but I only felt as if he was trying to look after himself, not that he was dangerous."
"As much as I hate to admit it, Bel-chan is very good at hiding who he really is, and he knows how to fool people if there's something he wants." Glad to see Takeshi didn't look like he were about to run away screaming, Lussuria continued on. "It's not to say you're going to get hurt, but I just want you to be careful around him, alright? As I said, Bel-chan is very sick, and if you try and handle him the wrong way, he might turn on you."
"What do you mean?"
"Bel-chan… hurts himselfa lot. He gets so caught up in physical pain that he seeks more of it out, but if you try and stop him from hurting himself, he might not even realise who you are and attack you – simply because you've gotten in the way. There are sedatives in his suitcase I've packed, and if he doesn't seem to hear you when you tell him to stop, that's the only way you're going to calm him down."
Takeshi nodded, taking this on board; what he was hearing was that if he weren't careful, Belphegor could hurt both of them without full awareness of what he was doing. "What happens if I give him too much sedative?"
Offering a sad smile, Lussuria shook his head. "You can't, honey; he's been sedated so much, we have to give him a full syringe now. More importantly, if he attacks you, whatever you do, don't fight him back."
"But then wouldn't I get hurt?" Takeshi was confused by all of this new information; couldn't he just keep doing what he had been with Belphegor?
"Yes, but if he knows someone is reciprocating, he will only lose himself further. If you can't sedate him, you need to keep asking him to stop. It might take a while for him to recognise your voice, but if you are calm and patient with him, he will eventually stop." Sighing, Lussuria mentally prepared himself for the most important piece of advice that could save Takeshi's life - he just hoped it wouldn't scare the youngest away or make him treat Belphegor any differently, or else his own heart would shatter at the knowledge he had been the one to drive away Belphegor's friend. "Bel-chan... carries knives everywhere... And he will use them without hesitation."
Takeshi stopped walking at this, his mouth dropping open in shock; sweet Belphegor... Knives...? What...?
"I don't want to tell you this, but I am left without a choice..." Feeling tears well up in his eyes, Lussuria truly hoped he was doing the right thing; he was only trying to look out for both of the teenagers, but if they were doing fine already, would he only be adding unnecessary detail that could push the Japanese teenager away? "...Bel-chan is... a killer... No matter what I've done with him, I can't get him to stop... I've tried my hardest, but it's all he knows... He will kill anyone he sees as getting in his way, or whom he knows is an easy target he can get away with... Whatever you do, you cannot let your guard down around him..."
Takeshi stared blankly ahead, not knowing how he felt about this information; never before had he thought he would be getting close to a murderer, but here he was... Having just agreed to take care of one...
"Please, please understand that Bel-chan truly knows no better," Lussuria whispered, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. "It's his way of venting, of feeling in control... I just... I can't save him from himself any longer... He's out of my control now... I can't stop this, no matter how much I want to... No matter how hard I try..."
Takeshi drank in these words, knowing that Lussuria was telling the truth; he could see how much the man loved Belphegor, and there was only sincerity in the older male ever since they had met. It wasn't Lussuria's fault Belphegor was like this, and Takeshi wasn't going to blame him for something he truly was trying to fix – he just wasn't that kind of person.
Ducking his head, the teenager nodded. "Okay, then."
"Please don't think badly of my dear Bel-chan; it's not his fault he's turned out like this..."
"I know." Takeshi moved to look into Lussuria's sunglasses at this, a smile smaller than usual, yet nonetheless genuine, crossing his face. "I've gotten to know Bel well enough to feel safe around him; I don't think he's going to hurt me because we're friends, Lussuria. He's told me he's never had friends before, but he has one now, and I don't think he wants to lose that. Besides; you've already told us a little bit about him, and I understood then and there that he was made this way - what kind of person would I be if I judged him for something out of his control like that? My friend, Gokudera... He's had a bad life, too, and he's a lot like Bel is, but I know that there's still some good in them both; it might just take a while to find it and show them that it does exist."
Lussuria could have hugged the teenager then and there; no one else had ever been so accepting of his charge before, Belphegor's schoolmates treating him like a disease, a plague that would have them suffering slow and painfully before they finally died - maybe they were right in a sense, but if Belphegor had truly wanted them dead, he would have massacred the entire school by now.
Lussuria knew his kid well enough to know that, deep down, Belphegor was still waiting for his classmates to come around and give him a chance, the lost boy who wanted to know what being accepted felt like. Belphegor may have harmed plenty of the other students, but never enough to kill them; in his own little way, he was trying to fit in with the only manner he knew - to hurt others.
If Belphegor had ever wondered why he was so different, the outcast that he was, Lussuria didn't know the details; all he knew was that Belphegor was a boy who didn't care what people thought of him, he just wanted to experience what he observed so often but never received himself.
"It doesn't scare you, knowing the truth about him?" Sliding a finger beneath his glasses, Lussuria rubbed at his eye.
Humming for a few seconds, Takeshi cocked his head to the side. "It does... A bit... But he's been through a lot and he's my friend, and my friends come before even baseball - I look after my friends, and I help them, no matter what; I just need to find a way to get Bel out of his dark place and then I'm sure we can help him. I don't give up on my friends."
Lussuria smiled, glad that Belphegor had finally found what he had been looking for all this time. He wasn't sure if Belphegor could see it or not, but he was so lucky to have gotten a friend like this for his first ever.
Hopefully Belphegor would come around soon and let himself be helped; he needed to be saved as soon as possible.
~~Several weeks later~~
"Are you sure you're okay, Bel?" Sitting down on his bed, Takeshi watched as his friend slowly entered the room, still a little drowsy from such strong painkillers he had been prescribed for his injuries.
Belphegor hummed as he staggered over to join the younger on the bed, letting himself collapse onto the soft mattress so that he could snuggle in against the teenager's lap. "M'fine…"
Takeshi chuckled, surprised by the effect painkillers had on his friend; Belphegor became much like a kitten when he was drugged, and seemed much more open to others instead of keeping things hidden – in fact, it seemed that when he was like this, he had no filter whatsoever.
Making small talk before Takeshi knew he would have to make a start on his homework, the teenager threaded his fingers through soft golden locks before he said in a soft tone, "So, it's court tomorrow, huh…? Think you're going to be okay?"
"Don't wanna go…" Burying his face in against a strong stomach, Belphegor allowed the scent that was the younger to fill his nostrils, finding it more soothing than anything he had ever found before. "Too much hassle…"
"I know, but you have to go," Takeshi said gently, caressing a pale cheek. "You need justice for what happened."
"Squalo didn't do anything; I was the one who did it all…" Sighing, Belphegor wished Squalo had just died like he had been aiming for, instead of police sticking their noses where it wasn't warranted – he had had the perfect demise for the man, and people had to fuck it up by calling authorities.
"What do you mean?" Gesturing to the body still covered in stitches and bandages, Takeshi frowned. "He almost killed you, Bel."
"No, he didn't." Rolling onto his back to look up at the younger, Belphegor yawned, wanting to get this over and done with quickly so he could sleep. "I made up all that stuff about Squa~ The company he was trying to get the deal with must have heard what I made up and refused it, so when I told him it was my fault, he got mad at me. I was the one who tried to kill him, and I did all this to myself."
"Bel…" Takeshi had never told his friend that Lussuria had explained everything, and he didn't want to – not just yet anyway; if Belphegor were to know that his secrets had been spilt, he could withdraw from the help the younger was trying to give him.
But this…
"Bel, you need to fix this." Takeshi felt horrible about having judged a man he really knew nothing about without asking for Squalo's side of the story, and to have encouraged this whole thing… "Squalo doesn't deserve this if nothing you told me is true."
"Fix it later…" Letting his eyes slip closed, Belphegor's fingers tightened their grip on Takeshi's pants, letting oblivion wash over him. "So tired…"
Takeshi knew he may as well let his friend get the rest he so desperately needed, but could they fix this so soon before court? It made him want to cry, feeling as if he had had a part in everything that had happened – if he had… just…
If he had been a better friend, he would have spoken to Squalo first and then gone from there.
Knowing he couldn't stay mad at Belphegor, Takeshi continued to stroke through golden locks, hoping the situation could be reversed; Squalo must have been the nice person the teenager had taken him for upon their first meeting, because despite knowing what Belphegor was like, Squalo had stayed by his side for all this time.
Yes, Belphegor needed to be saved now before it truly became too late.
~~XX~~
It was when Belphegor woke up just a few hours later did he find Takeshi lying behind him, the younger hugging the blond tight to his body. The boy shifted uncomfortably, his movements waking Takeshi.
Stretching as he yawned, Takeshi then smiled down at Belphegor as he moved closer to the smaller body in his arms. "Hey, Bel. I was having this really nice dream."
Belphegor lay where he was, making no attempt to either move closer or further away from the stronger male; he had grown to trust Takeshi in times like this, but he still wasn't sure if he wanted to return the affections the other always gave him.
Staring at the wall opposite him, Belphegor mumbled, "About what?"
Reaching up to scratch as his cheek as a shy smile crossed his face, Takeshi chuckled lightly, not sure if he should admit the contents of his dream to the older male when he knew it was likely the boy would be mad at him; he had seen enough of society to know there was a high chance of him becoming an outcast if people were to find out he had dreamt of kissing another male. "…"
"Spit it out." Continuing to lay with his back to the younger, Belphegor's breath hitched and he instinctively tried to pull away, uneasy with the palm that had come out of nowhere to lie on his cheek.
"It's just…" Looking to the side, Takeshi sighed. "Have you ever kissed someone before, Bel?"
"No. I've never wanted to." Belphegor was easily able to piece together the puzzle from that question alone, but he couldn't be so sure as to whether or not it had been him in the dream; it could have been Tsuna, Hayato or even some random chick they went to school with for all he knew – Takeshi did seem like the type to be uncertain about romantics and was probably only just discovering his true feelings towards someone.
It couldn't have been him in the dream because Belphegor knew there was just something about him that made people want nothing to do with him – of course the only action he ever had and would continue to get was through raping other people.
No one would ever want him, not even the most desperate person on the face of the Earth.
Takeshi could sense the other falling into a depressive mood, so he continued on, hoping to distract the older male. "What do you think about two guys kissing?"
Shrugging, Belphegor didn't hesitate to speak. "It does not disgust me if that is what you are asking. I have never thought about where I stand on these matters; I have never really wondered about my own sexuality. I don't feel things for people; I can only get hard when other factors are included. I don't really even have wet dreams or masturbate very much; only if I was bleeding beforehand."
Takeshi didn't quite understand what the blond was saying, but he didn't push; he could work out enough to realise that, though Belphegor seemed to have difficulties regarding this whole thing, there was a chance he might not be mad if Takeshi were to reveal that, for a little while now, he had wanted to kiss the other.
The Japanese male wasn't really sure what had brought those feelings on, and he knew he shouldn't have them for a killer like Belphegor, but he couldn't help it; the more he got to know Belphegor and the closer they became, the more his thoughts became preoccupied around the broken boy and he felt things he had never felt for anyone before.
"Well…" Feeling his cheeks redden slightly, Takeshi's smile became shyer. "Would you be mad if… I told you that, in my dream, I… was… kissing you…?"
Belphegor took a few moments to process these words, instinctively believing them to be lies - he had been asked out several times at his school, only to be made fun of and told it was a dare and that he was stupid for agreeing when he would never have someone to love him, not even Lussuria or Squalo.
But... Takeshi was so different... Belphegor could lower his carefully-built defences around Takeshi and not get hurt.
Could the younger be trusted for something like this...?
"Why would I be mad?" Deciding to keep his worries to himself for now, Belphegor forced himself to remain calm; if Takeshi was planning on hurting him and saw an opening, that's when the younger would strike.
"Because most people do not seem to like two guys in love..." The genuine sadness in Takeshi's tone was enough to tell Belphegor that the younger had probably always known he liked males but had been pushed away by society before he could truly accept it.
But why would someone want to be with Belphegor...? From an early age, the blond had discovered that he was fated to be alone for his life, so why...?
"Can I kiss you?"
Belphegor blinked at the question, wondering briefly if he were still asleep and dreaming; with all the hurt he had suffered, never before had someone asked to kiss him. He could remember times where he had sat silently amongst his classmates as they played kissing games, never able to understand why everyone got kisses but him, and if he tried to kiss them on his turn, he would only get shouted at and put down.
Belphegor was curious about kissing, having seen Xanxus and Squalo do it often enough to come to understand that there was more to it than what he was seeing on the streets and on TV; Squalo and Xanxus had a near-abusive relationship, so if they were kissing each other...
"Why do you want to kiss me...?" Despite having just woken up from sleep, Belphegor couldn't keep the exhaustion from his voice; he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle more pain like this in his life, not from Takeshi.
"Well..." Takeshi's face reddened to that of a tomato, but he continued to explain his reasoning. "I guess I... really like you, Bel. I-I understand if you don't like me back, but... I really do like you..."
Belphegor couldn't bring himself to believe these words, having heard enough variations meant only to cause him pain; if Takeshi was telling the truth, the younger was going to have to prove it. "Show me."
Takeshi chuckled nervously, having not expected for this reaction, but he couldn't turn it down; not when he had to show his friend that someone loved him.
Taking a deep breath of anxiety, Takeshi pressed his lips against Belphegor's pale cheek for several seconds.
Belphegor felt nothing like Lussuria had told him he would feel when he finally kissed someone. He didn't know if it were his guardian or the younger lying to him, but he wasn't happy; Takeshi hadn't proved anything except that kissing only seemed to make Belphegor miserable. "I don't believe you."
Takeshi understood; he was dealing with a broken boy, after all. "I don't know if kissing your lips is crossing any boundaries, so..." Rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish manner, Takeshi tried to grin in order to diffuse the situation.
"It's sex I don't want," Belphegor mumbled. "Not like this, anyway... That's my one and only boundary; don't force me to get hard when I just can't; you won't like how it turns out..."
Takeshi nodded, agreeing without hesitation; he wasn't sure if he wanted anything more than just kissing yet, so without further ado, the teenager leant close again, pressing his lips against pale ones.
While Takeshi was in awe at these feelings, Belphegor just felt numb as usual; he laid there, letting the younger do as he pleased without responding in the slightest; he was still uncertain about how he felt, and he was sure he would need time to figure things out.
Takeshi, amidst his inexperienced kisses, reached up, caressing a soft cheek in a tender manner; he had never felt so happy before, not even after scoring all of his home runs; this was... pure bliss, and he wasn't sure if he would feel the same if he were to kiss someone else - Belphegor was special.
Licking at the older male's lips, Takeshi was relieved when the other allowed him entrance. He tasted all over, admiring the flavour of candy that was Belphegor. He tried to get the other to kiss him back, but if anything, the smaller tongue only retreated from him.
Takeshi couldn't be upset; not when he knew it must have taken a lot for Belphegor to trust him like this in the first place.
Breaking apart for air, Takeshi ignored the thin string of saliva that still connected them, staring down with a loving expression in his eyes. "Do you want to be my boyfriend, Bel? I promise we won't move fast; I like just kissing you."
Fighting back the tears Belphegor was barely aware of creating, the blond leant up, wrapping one arm around the younger's torso as he pressed his ear to Takeshi's chest, listening to the heartbeat; it was rather fast, proving the other's excitement and nervousness, and Belphegor found himself wishing he could stay like this forever; that heartbeat was one of the most comforting things he had ever heard, and in this situation, it soothed him to know that Takeshi was truly different to everyone else.
"If you were to get involved with me, you would only get hurt..." Belphegor muttered. "You would run away and never come back if you knew who I truly am. I don't want to hurt you... The only person I don't want to hurt..."
"Lussuria already told me everything," Takeshi promised. "If I didn't run away then, I certainly wouldn't now. I love you, Bel."
Looking to the side, Belphegor swallowed thickly; he wanted to accept and find out for himself what a relationship was like, but he knew Takeshi would only get hurt; he would eventually want sex with the younger, and trying to imagine the blood wouldn't be enough to keep him interested during intercourse; he would need his knives, to physically cut and bleed his lover, just like what he did to his rape victims - but never would he rape Takeshi; Takeshi was someone he wanted to keep forever, to protect and kill for.
Would that be possible if they were to become boyfriends?
"You'll get hurt..." Belphegor whispered again, a feeble attempt at warning the other. "I... will need to hurt you when we have sex... I won't be able to orgasm if I can't..."
"We can worry about that when we get there," Takeshi promised before leaning down, kissing the smaller boy again. "I love you, Bel."
Belphegor just looked away, his fingers curling into the teenager's blue jacket as if to anchor himself to Takeshi. He nodded once, knowing the stronger male would understand, and the next thing he knew, he was being embraced by his very first boyfriend.
If this was a dream, Belphegor didn't want to wake up any time soon.
