Chapter 8

There was an ache in Martins heart as he watched Adam get dressed.

The summer sky seemed to have darkened suddenly, blotting out the sun and the blue skies as storm clouds gathered.

Martin was already up and dressed, Adam had slept in late.

He didn't know what time Adam had come to bed because he had spent half the night in the garden processing memories.

"How come you had to work through the night, I thought you said you were finished for the day, you told me that yesterday before the memorial service."

"I had to cover one last aspect of your memories."

As Adam spoke he had his back to him, his gaze was fixed on the darkening skies as he ran his hand thoughtfully down is arm, briefly watching the tattoos shimmer beneath his touch.

"What last aspect?"

Martin sat down on the bed and waited for an answer but Adam was still turned away and watching the skies.

"What last aspect, Adam?"

Martin was starting to feel infuriated by these times when Adam seemed to slide so deep into his own thoughts he became lost in them; it wasn't so much that Martin felt he was being ignored, it was more like Adam was shutting him out and he did not know what he was shutting him out from...

"Adam?"

Finally Adam turned and looked back at him - and as he did so, for a split second his dark eyes reflected the gathering storm clouds beyond the house.

"I was watching your weather. It is changing considerably today."

Martin shrugged.

"Well I guess it fits with my mood - I'm not exactly happy about you leaving tomorrow. "

And then his voice softened.

"I shall miss you."

Now Martin's own sadness reflected in Adam's eyes.

"I shall miss you too." He admitted.

But Martin hadn't given up on breaking Adams secrecy over these memories he had been watching; he wanted to know everything:

Sometimes, when he had sat alone playing back everything he had lived and remembered, Martin had felt left out in the cold because those were his memories that Adam had chosen to toy with, they belonged to him and he had never stopped feeling that when it came to anything regarding those recollections; surely he had a right to know...

"You said you had to cover one last aspect of my memories - what was it?"

"The crash." Adam said softly, "I saw everything, the launch, the moment when the craft was up there in space and you were all so happy to be there- and then you realized there had been a systems failure. I watched the re-entry. I saw the fear in your friend's eyes. I know you landed at speed and the cabin tore in half. I saw it all."

Martin gave a heavy sigh as he got up.

"You didn't need to see that."

"Yes I did." Adam told him, "It was the final piece; it made the picture whole. I needed to see the crash. I watched your friends die. I am sorry, it made me feel very sad to see these events unfold but this was a link in a chain and I had to understand it. Links can be significant, sometimes in ways we do not realize at the time."

There it was; Martin had that feeling again, the one that made him think perhaps Adam knew more than he was deciding to share with him.

"What was significant?" He wondered, looking hard at him, "What was significant about the crash of the Solar Four, Adam?"

And as Adam heard urgency in his voice he closed his eyes briefly as he shook his head.

When he looked back at Martin his dark eyes seemed to reflect infinity once more.

"When I first arrived you tried to explain to me about cause and effect. You said about the dominoes – one falls, the others follow... you're right about that. My people can see into future time zones, shifted dimensions – we can see what could have been just as clearly as what will be."

Martin caught his breath as a chill ran down his arms.

"You mean you can tell me what would have happened if they'd lived?"

Adam fell silent for a brief time, deciding it would make no difference but to add to his distress if he told him everything much sooner than he needed to know.

So he held it back, just for a short while longer...

"If the crash had never happened the mission would have been successful and you would have returned safely to Earth. If they had all lived, their lives would have gone on and seemingly small changes made because they lived would have happened, choices, actions, deeds - it would have led to one of the crew making a significant discovery too, a discovery that would have benefited the whole of mankind- but it wasn't to be."

Martin stared at him.

"Which member of the crew?"

And Adam just looked back at him, saying nothing.

"Who are we talking about, Adam?" He demanded.

Adam gave a sigh.

"It can do no good to dwell on what could have been. The Solar four crashed and you were the only survivor. It can't be changed."

Martin stepped closer to him, staring at him in shock and as he spoke his voice was hushed.

"But I need to know! Who was on board that flight that could have been so important to the world, Adam? Which one of those people had some kind of destiny to fulfil?"

Adam shook his head.

"I've said too much." He admitted, "Now is not the time. I can't discuss this matter any further."

And Martin made a grab for his arm, but his hand closed over thin air as Adam stepped out of the doorway and headed off down the stairs.

Martin wanted to follow, but he saw no point in wasting their last day together fighting.

He sat down again and thought about the other people on the mission:

Who had been on board that could have been so important, so significant they could have changed the world?

He thought about each of them in turn:

Maritsa, the Russian cosmonaut... would she have found something important up there in space?

Joey Avison... could Joey have made some kind of discovery?

Maybe Vern... was it even possible that Vern could do something so great -when he had only just got through basic safety training with the help of drugs because he was so scared?

Then he wondered about the Commander's son. Was it Nick? Would Nick have done something significant?

He felt burning curiosity as he thought about all that Adam had said.

In a way, he wished he had never pushed him on this issue because now he knew only some of the picture; he needed to learn the whole of it, yet Adam was so reluctant to tell him the rest - and that was the part that was driving him crazy...


Martin left his room and went down stairs to find Adam.

"Martin?"

Jenny had caught the look in her brother's eyes and she hurried up to him, pulling him back as he made a move to wrench open the back door.

Adam was out there in the garden, taking in the fresh air as he prepared to access the last of Martin's copied memories.

"What's going on?" She demanded, "You can't change this, Martin! He has to leave! You're luckier that I was; the person you came to know and love has stayed with you almost ten days! I had three days with Scott's father! Three days and most of that was spent with me not understanding him, not coming to love and him and see him for the amazing person he was until it was time to say goodbye, don't make my mistakes! You have to accept this!"

Martin drew in a deep breath and kept his voice low.

"You don't understand, Sis. He just told me something and there's more and he's holding it back!"

Jenny looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"He said things would have been different if the Solar Four hadn't crashed. He said one of the people on board would have done something significant in the future, something to change the world. And he won't tell me the rest of it! Why is he holding back like that?"

Jenny thought about her own man from the stars who she had loved and lost so long ago.

"I know Adam's from a future generation and he can probably see ahead and it makes sense that he would know what would have happened if they'd lived – but it can't change anything now, Martin! They're all dead! I know it's hard for you to accept that and move on -"

"Move on?" He said sharply, "I've spent three years working, training fighter pilots, I left the space mission behind me a long time ago!"

Jenny looked at him kindly as she spoke softly to her brother.

"But not them." She reminded him, "You never left the crew behind. I know you miss them every day. But hearing about how it could have been won't change a thing. He doesn't have the power to bring them back. It can't happen. And I know you often think about the fact that you're the only survivor. But it happened, Martin. Don't waste the little time you have left with him fighting over this! Time is too short for that."

And he looked into her eyes and knew in a heartbeat Jenny was right; Adam was leaving tomorrow and he needed to make the most of every last second with him instead of pushing for answers to questions that were pointless anyway.

"I'll wait until he's finished his work and then I'll talk to him." He agreed.

Jenny watched as Adam sat still in the garden looking off towards the darkening skies.

"Is he still processing memories? I thought he'd finished..."

"So did I." Martin replied, "And I don't know what he's watching now. I'll wait until he comes in, then I'll –"

"No more fighting!" Jenny reminded him, and Martin smiled and shook his head.

"Then I'll tell him I want us to make the most of the time we still have together." He told her.


Adam had shifted into the last of the collected memories associated with the Solar Four Mission.

He felt an ache in Martin's heart as the final memories appeared and came to life before his eyes as if he had stepped into his past once more:

It was two weeks after the crash.

Martin was well enough to leave the hospital and go home to his sister.

And every newspaper he picked up, every TV news report he watched, all carried mentions of the Solar Four disaster.

He felt like he couldn't leave the house without a reminder of what had happened.

And he thought of all of them, he thouht of them all the time:

Joey, Maritsa, Nick... He remembered the cabin tearing in half and shunting the front aside, then continuing up the runway and exploding in a ball of fire.

He remembered holding onto Vern and begging him to live while he was trapped in his seat in the wreckage.

Martin had thought about the crash every single day.

Adam shifted forward slightly, aware this was the last of the memories he had copied from Martin's mind and if he shifted forwards too quickly he would miss it and mentally hit what would feel like a brick wall:

This was the end of the line...

He found the start of the memory and began to watch it unfold:

Martin was sitting at Vern's bedside.

He was holding on to his hand and Vern was unresponsive, the wound to his head was heavily dressed and he was surrounded by equipment that worked to monitor his vitals signs and keep him alive.

"You have to get through this." Martin said to him quietly, "I can't be the only one left behind. We made it, Vern – you and me, we got back to Earth. The others died but we lived. There are two survivors from this disaster - and I want it to stay that way..."

Then the door opened and Martin glanced up, surprised to see Erin Avison standing there.

She looked pale and tearful and as she walked quietly over to Vern's bedside.

"How is he?"

Martin shook his head.

"They don't think he's ever going to wake up." He said quietly, "The fact that he survived the crash was as close to a miracle as we can expect – but he won't recover."

Erin looked around the room at the flowers and the cards and she blinked away tears.

"We had so many flowers for Joey we had to put a lot of them out the front of the house. People keep leaving flowers – and gifts, presents for me and the kids..."

Then she looked down at Vern and as she thought about the extent of his injuries, thoughts of Joey came to mind.

"Maybe it's a good thing Joey didn't make it." She said as her voice choked up with tears, "He wouldn't have wanted to live if he'd been as badly hurt as Vern. Joey just couldn't have carried on like that."

Then she looked into Martin's eyes and asked him the question that desperately needed answering for her own peace of mind:

"Did they suffer when the cabin exploded? I mean, was Joey still alive while it was on fire?"

And she raised her hand and wiped a tear from her face.

"No." Martin said honestly, thankful he knew enough about what had already been said about the explosion to be able to give her a truthful answer, "None of them would have suffered. The explosion killed them instantly. He wouldn't have known a thing about it."

And Erin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for telling me that."

Then her gaze briefly shifted to Vern as he lay motionless with his breathing supported by a ventilator.

"I hope he pulls through." She said quietly.

"So do I." Martin replied, then he turned back to his best friends bedside and Erin left the room.

Adam pulled back from the memory and touched the tattoo, ending the processing.

The ink swirled about on his muscular arm as the processor turned off.

Then he took in a deep breath of fresh air and thought about all he had learned from the memories of Captain Martin Lee, sole survivor of the Solar Four space disaster.

And then he turned towards the darkening, stormy skies and thoughts of home made the warmth in his heart at the notion of all things familiar grow cold:

He had learned much on this mission.

He had learned about himself, too.

He had learned so much he did not want to leave.

But he had little choice in the matter...


Martin had left the house and was walking over to join him at the bench.

As he sat down Adam looked into his eyes and spoke apologetically.

"I'm sorry if I told you too much – sometimes it's best not to know these things – especially when it regards an alternative future that can never be."

Martin gave a sigh.

"My sister told me the same thing." He replied, "And I can understand that. I don't want to fall out with you over things that can't be changed, Adam. I just want us to make the most of the time we have left."

Sadness reflected in Adam's eyes as he thought about tomorrow.

"I wish this day would never end." He said truthfully, "Then tomorrow would never come and I would be happy."

"So you really don't want to go home?"

"I have no choice." Adam stated, "I must leave tomorrow just before noon."

Now he knew the exact time he was leaving it seemed to make the very thought of his departure cause an ache to press even more sharply into his heart.

Martin reached a cross the table and took hold of his hand.

"I love you too." He said softly, "I want you to remember that and take that with you in your heart when you leave tomorrow - remember I love you."

Adams eyes looked as deep as space as he slowly nodded his head.

"I will always keep you in my heart." He said quietly, "Always."

Martin thought for a moment, then he made the only suggestion he could think of that gave him some hope for the two of them:

"Take me with you. Take me back to your world."

Adam shook his head.

"You would die on my planet! My species have evolved and embraced technology to survive in many kinds of places including here on Earth - but you could not live in my world. It can't be done. I'm sorry."

Martin remembered all Jenny had said about how time was short and they needed to make the most of it.

Now he knew his sister was right - there was no point in wasting time dwelling on what couldn't be changed...


They all had dinner together that evening.

Scott asked a couple of questions about when he was leaving and how he would get back home, then Jenny shot him a look and shook her head and Scott understood:

Adam was leaving and Martin was sad about it and it was best to leave them both alone at this time...

But Jenny did ask Adam one question before the end of dinner...

"Can't you change the time you leave?" She wondered, "We're having a party in the garden tomorrow – there's an asteroid skimming past Earth and it's going to make the sky go crazy colors!"

"Asteroid?" Martin wondered, feeling slightly dumb at that moment to think he had once been an astronaut yet he knew nothing of this cosmic event that was coming up.

"There's an asteroid passing unusually close to the Earth" Scott told him, "It's perfectly safe, it won't hit us or anything like that – the scientists have already done all the calculations on that risk and we are very safe. But it's going to make the skies change color while it passes by and it's going to be amazing to watch."

And he looked at Adam.

"If you leave just before noon you'll miss it."

"I'm going to be so busy tomorrow morning!" Jenny exclaimed, "I've got the food to buy, the tables to set up... "

And Scott smiled.

"And yes Mom, I'll help!"

"I would love to stay." Adam said, "But I have to leave. I have no choice in the matter."

Jenny looked at him with understanding in her eyes.

"I know you have no choice." She said, "And I wish you could stay too but I understand. And I want you to know that none of us will ever forget you, Adam."

And as Adam looked around the table he smiled at the humans, hiding a pain in his heart for all the things he knew that they did not and feeling sure he would never forget them either...


Night fall came and Martin lay beside Adam, wrapping his arms around him as he held onto him tightly, thinking how human this man felt - and how insane it seemed that he had to leave and go back to a place so very far away.

"You belong here with me." He whispered.

Adam shifted closer and the heat of their bodies seemed to light up the night as the they kissed deeply, igniting a spark that passed between them like any other lovers who might be sharing togetherness on a night as warm as this one.

Martin kissed him deeply and ran his hands over his body, wanting to remember every single inch of him as he caressed him and let his kisses linger over the inked markings on his arms, over the smooth heat of his body, then as Adam held him tightly he returned those kisses and Martin knew with very touch, every breath and every movement of their bodies together that each moment was one that would stay in his heart forever.

But as they shared this last night the time ended all too soon as Martin turned Adam onto his back and kissed down his body and Adam surrendered, shaking as his body gleamed wet and the sheets clung damp about them.

Adam rested after this, sleeping deeply while Martin lay awake knowing he could only guess at what his lover from a world so far away could be dreaming of; sleep had divided them as sure as knowing he would be gone come morning...


Martin got up, showered and got then he dressed as the sun began to rise.

Adam was still sleeping and he paused for a moment to watch him, Adam's eyes were tightly closed and he seemed light years away as he dreamed of - what?

Alien landscapes and a place that Martin would never get to visit?

He was still wondering on this as he leaned over him and gently kissed his cheek.

Adam turned his head slightly but slept on.

Martin walked over to the window and looked out:

The morning sky was an odd shade of yellow slashed with blue. Here and there within the blue, small dark clouds were beginning to chase across the sky on a breeze that was gradually gaining in strength.

Martin thought about the asteroid that would pass so close to Earth and wondered if it would screw up the weather so badly that Jenny's party in the garden might have to be called off.

He felt sad to think that the world would be watching this event and most people would be watching it with those closest to them- because he knew he would be watching it without the one he loved, by then Adam would be far from this place, across time and space, back home and that space that divided them would always ache like the chasm that seemed to open up inside his heart as he thought of the man he loved and pictured him gone.

Then he thought about all the other losses in his life and he recalled the faces of the crew of the Solar four.

It seemed life was about loss more than it was about living these days; nothing was ever permanent; people came and went and those he loved the most were snatched away from him one way or another...

He thought about Joey Avison's widow and wondered how she was coping without Joey.

Then he thought of Maritsa Ivanov and felt sure her parents back in Russia still missed their daughter every day.

He knew what losing Nick had done to Commander Briggs; that man's heart had broken on the day of the crash and he would never get over losing his only son.

And Vern hadn't left any family behind, but he had left a best friend - and Martin knew he would miss him for the rest of his life...

He took another look at Adam as he lay there sleeping; he looked at his face, his closed eyes and the way his chest rose and fell so peacefully.

Then he turned away and went downstairs, knowing to linger while he slept would alter nothing – Adam would soon be gone.


Jenny was making a list in the kitchen.

Scott was checking the freezer and telling his Mom what they already had and then reminding her what they would need to buy.

Jenny looked up from her list and smiled at Martin.

"At least you'll get to watch the sky change color with us! We can all stand together, you me and Scott."

Martin nodded.

"Sure." He said quietly, "I won't miss it, Jenny. I'll be right here."

Then Jenny offered him breakfast and Martin said he wasn't hungry.

Jenny checked her watch and called to Scott, telling him she wanted to get to town early so she could get back and start setting up the garden exactly how she wanted it.

Then they were gone and Martin stood alone in the kitchen and looked out of the window as the skies turned amber and those dark clouds gathered speed as they shifted closer, gathering together looking black against the yellowed morning.

He thought about his best friend and smiled; Vern used to be fascinated by asteroids and meteors...

As he looked at that sky it brought back a fond memory as he recalled a conversation he'd shared with the others on the night before the launch:

They had all been in the dining area, still seated at the table after dinner.

"So what are you going to do after this mission, Joey?" Martin had asked him.

"Well..." Joey said, "After this mission..."

And he paused, deep in thought while the others waited for his answer.

Then Joey's eyes lit up and he smiled.

"After this mission, I want to go on another mission!" He said enthusiastically.

"What about you, Nick?" Martin wondered.

Nick shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe the same as Joey - I'm determined to make a career out of space flight."

And then he fell silent and carried on drinking his coffee.

"I'm going to write a book all about the Solar Four mission." Vern announced, "And then I'm going to marry this beautiful woman sitting beside me."

And he smiled at Maritsa, who laughed on hearing him say that.

"I won't give you my answer until we're back on Earth!" She reminded him.

"I think you'll say yes." Vern replied hopefully.

"And what about after that?" Martin wondered, "Do you think you'll go for another space mission?"

Vern looked at him doubtfully.

"The training was tough, Martin. I'm just glad I made it this time; I think six months up there will be enough for me. When I come back to earth I'll write the book and then maybe work in a different field –and do it staying on the ground this time - I've always loved meteors and asteroids, they've always fascinated me."

Joey had been turned away from the conversation watching the TV and as he turned back he looked at Vern with a shocked expression on his face.

"That's always fascinated you? Why? It's disgusting!"

"What is?" Vern wondered.

"Haemorrhoids?" Joey exclaimed, "You just said they've always fascinated you?"

"Asteroids!" Maritsa told him, and then laughter had rippled around the table as Joey's face had turned red.

"I never heard you right...I was watching the TV..." He said as he continued to blush...

Martin still had a smile on his face as he thought about that memory:

It had been the night before the launch.

It had been their last night on Earth.

It had also been the last night of their lives and none of them had known that as they talked so brightly about the future...

Martin opened the kitchen door and went outside, trying to push away memories of the past because he knew pretty soon Adam would be gone and then there would be one more person he wouldcome to think of as lost to him forever.


Martin stood alone in the garden watching the yellowing sky take on a strange kind of pallor that looked almost sickly as the gathering clouds were blown about the heavens, clustering thick as the wind began to pick up.

It seemed almost as if an artist had tried to paint a sunset and then thrown the darkest shade of grey at the canvas, spattering it, wrecking the sky that hung above the landscape...

He had never seen a sky like this before. Although he imagined it would no doubt change later on and become the shades of beautiful color that had been predicted, right now it looked anything but beautiful:

It looked ugly.

It looked as if the sky had turned sick.

Martin checked his watch: it was nine a.m. now.

He turned to see Adam walking towards him and his heart felt heavy as he remembered they had but a few hours before it was time to say goodbye.

Adam walked up to him and the two men stood there, close but not touching.

Martin looked deeply into his eyes as he silently wished this man could stay forever.

Adam seemed to read those thoughts.

"I must return this information to my home planet." He told him, "I have learned much from you and your memories- thanks to this study your friends, as you recall them, will live on in our history, your memories will become an essential part of our archive on human emotion, we can learn so much from that. So much was lost after the war but now it can be relearned."

Those words brought Martin some comfort.

"I just wish..."

He reached up and gently touched Adams cheek, then as the wind blew harder he ran his fingers through his hair as their eyes met.

"I just wish you could stay. Can't you stay just a little while longer?"

Adam briefly reached up, catching Martin's hand in his grip and gently squeezing it as he felt the pain of knowing this was goodbye.

Then he let go of him and that guilt that had weighed heavy in his heart became too much to bear and he knew the time had come to give him nothing less than total honesty:

"I can not stay here." He stated, "It's not possible."

And then the words he wanted to say next felt as if they had turned to slivered glass in his throat as he fell silent and turned his eyes towards the strangely shaded skies.

"Why not?" Martin demanded, "Why can't you just stay longer?"

Adam looked back at him.

"There is no time." He stated.

And his eyes, dark and deep as space itself, suddenly looked saddened by something so final, so dreadful that Martin stared at him, knowing there was more, there always had been - and now he wanted the truth.

"What is it?" He said in a hushed voice, "What do you know?"

Adam glanced briefly to the skies again, knowing what he was about to say would leave the man he loved feeling shattered.

"I planned to tell you," He said, "But I saw no reason to break this news until the time was upon us. I can not stay because I can not survive – nothing can survive."

Martin stared at him.

"What do you mean, nothing can survive? What are you talking about?"

Again as Adam looked at the man who had come to mean so much to him the words became stuck and he couldn't speak - and then Martin had him by his arms, shaking him as if he wanted to shake the worlds from his mouth and hear the truth.

"If you loved me, you'd tell me!" Martin yelled, "What happens, Adam?"

And he saw the look in Adam's eyes and let him go; as he let him go Adam took in a deep breath and told him the truth:

"The asteroid is expected to pass close to the earth. But your scientists got it wrong. There was an error in the calculations and no one found it. The asteroid will not pass by the Earth. The asteroid will be a direct hit."

As he took in those words, he continued to stare at Adam, now understanding why he had been so preoccupied with the skies of this planet.

"What kind of damage are talking about?" He said in a shocked voice.

"It's the end." Adam said quietly, "Your world ends at five minutes past noon today..."