Tara knocked on the double doors leading to the chapel at the club. She was more than a little worried about Jax. He disappeared behind those doors as soon as he arrived at the club a couple hours ago. Her heart ached knowing that the man she loved was in so much pain. Jax was facing the prospect of becoming an orphan. No matter how old you get the idea of being utterly alone in the world was painful and terrifying.
Parents, or at least good parents, provided a sort of unconditional love that was comforting and could not be duplicated. The love of a wife and children were no substitute but they could help you get through the hard days.
"Come in."
She pushed the doors open with one hand and carried a plate in on the other. Tara walked over to Jax and kissed his bearded face. She set a sandwich and chips in front of him and had a seat in the chair to his left.
She gently squeezed his hand. "I know that you might not be hungry but you need to eat something. You can't think straight without something in your stomach. Is there anything I can do for you, baby?"
He shook his head and finally turned his attention to Tara. "Thanks for the food. Where are the boys?"
"They're with Mary. She has been helping me out by keeping an eye on the boys. It gives her something to do rather than just being worried and twiddling her thumbs."
Jax popped a chip into his mouth and added, "And driving Piney crazy."
Tara chuckled softly. "That too. The woman has a unique affect on Piney. Mary can get him from 0 to 90 and less than a minute. Before you know it they are arguing about something or nothing. But you haven't answered my question."
He shook his head and looked into her eyes. "There isn't anything that anyone can do for me. You are doing what I need most right now which is making sure things are running smoothly here. Ope says that with Mary's help you've got all of the food and sleeping arrangements situated for the lockdown. Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Tara."
Jax took her hand and kissed it softly.
"You'll never have to find out because I am not going anywhere. I know you are going through hell right now. I want to do anything I can to make this easier on you, Jax. I want you to know that you are not alone."
She knew how devastation could push his buttons. Tara had seen the carnage Jax could cause when he was on a rampage. But this couldn't be one of those times. He had to be collected. He had to be smart. Tara thought back to one of her many conversations with Gemma. The older woman had warned her that she needed to be Jax's rock and his guiding force. The life of the outlaw took so much out of these men. At the end of the day they needed a strong woman to build them up after the outside world had torn them down.
Tara tucked her hair behind her ears and squeezed Jax's hand again. "I've been thinking about my decision to give you J.T.'s letters to Maureen. I'm sorry if you think that was the wrong decision."
Jax gave her a confused look. He reached out and gently cupped her chin. "Why would you say that? What happened to Clay and my mother had nothing to do with those letters. It was a truth that I needed to know. I am an adult. I don't need anyone protecting me from the truth."
"No, I know that. I just meant that…maybe you wouldn't have been fighting with them when all of this went down. I know that it is weighing heavy on you."
"Don't take that burden onto yourself. Those letters are probably the only thing that saved my mother's life," said Jax.
"What do you mean?" It was Tara's turn to be confused.
"If it weren't for the fighting my mother would have been at home with Clay that night. They would have killed her right along with Clay and I'd be worse off than I am right now. As it stands my mother is going to survive. Her injuries are bad but she is stable and the doctors are more optimistic today than they were yesterday. She is getting stronger. Losing one of them is tragic but losing both would have been…"
She gave a smile as her eyes watered. Tara hadn't given that situation any thought. "Speaking of Gemma's recovery I've been keeping track of her progress with the doctors when I have the chance. She's breathing on her own now without any trouble. That is really good news, Jax. I know leaving her at the hospital was hard for you but Gemma is going to pull through."
"She's a fighter…always has been. She taught me to be one too. When Thomas died she held all of us up even though I know she was heartbroken. I never really understood how she did it. I didn't understand how she could hold it together under all that grief and pain. But she knew that we needed her strength more than she needed to grieve at the time. I never thought that I could do that until yesterday. I thought that I might collapse under the weight of my own grief but I couldn't because I knew that there were too many people counting on me. There were too many people who needed me to be a leader."
"You've always been strong, Jax. I knew that even when we were teenagers. You were a born leader and you will protect your family and this club. Of that I have no doubt."
"After finding out the truth about J.T. in Belfast I started to wonder if I was my father's son. He was a loving man but he was a weak man. He was a man that lacked the confidence of his own convictions. He was unhappy in his club so he scrawled his manic depressive thoughts in a journal and in letters but remained impotent and ineffective within the club. He was unhappy in his marriage so he neglected his duties as a father and a husband and started a second family with a different woman on a different continent. And sometimes I feel his weakness seeping out in me. I can feel the good and the bad tugging at me trying to force me to make a decision. Instead I stand in the middle and try to play both sides. But you can't do that…I once told Opie's wife, Donna, that he couldn't be half in and half out. That kind of shit gets you killed. You have to have the dedication to this life. There can be no second guessing. There can be no indecisiveness. You have to chart a course and deal with what comes your way. I sat at Gemma's bedside last night and I knew what needed to be done and there was clarity in that. There was peace in knowing what sort of leader I am meant to be. I am not my father. You wanted full-disclosure in our relationship…so here it goes. The next few days are going to be hell. Death, arrests, and retaliation. Everything is a possibility right now. All I know is that what the Russians started…I am going to finish."
Tara took his face into her hands and kissed him lovingly. "Then you do what you have to do and know that your family is waiting for you. The prince had to grow up sometime."
He smiled wistfully and gently tangled his fingers in her dark hair. Jax returned her kiss passionately and pushed his food out of the way. "I'm suddenly not very hungry…for food at least."
Tara smiled looking into his eyes. She walked over to the doors and locked them. The blinds were already closed because Jax had wanted privacy when he arrived.
She pulled off the black studded tank top she was wearing and tossed it on to the table. Her bra soon followed. "Let's make this one count."
Jax chuckled and stood up taking off his cut. "You don't have to tell me twice."
Jax walked into the chapel and looked at the men assembled before him. Some of them had come only a few miles and others had travel for hours to get there. No matter the distance traveled they were all there for one reason…to hear him speak about the future of the club. His club. No longer was Jax the V.P. there to cosign on Clay's ideas or inject a little sanity into heated discussions. This was his ship and it was his responsibility to right it.
"This club is my life. SOA is all I have ever known. Some of you are old timers and knew my old man. Some of you are younger and never met him. But the thing that we all have in common is this brotherhood. The Russians made a risky play for all the marbles. They wanted to take out Clay and me to leave the club headless. They wanted us to bend to their whims and give in to whatever bullshit gun deal they have in mind in exchange for peace. Well, they fucked up because here I stand ready to go to war. And that is what this will be…WAR! I want to wipe them out. Not just as revenge but as a message for ever organization, gang, or MC out there. Don't fuck with us because we will kill with impunity to protect what is ours. We are about to walk into the pits of hell. There will not be an element of surprise. The Russians will know that we are going to retaliate. They are waiting on it. The only thing we have in our favor is to make our first strike a crushing blow and then fend off whatever is left of them. I called all of you here today because there will be blow back from what I am planning. They won't just target SAMCRO…they will go after other charters in NorCal and surrounding areas. I am not asking anyone to join us that does not want to. I just wanted all of you to know that you need to watch your backs."
Jax nodded to Opie.
Opie stood up. "We have a plan of action worked out. We have the locations of several Russian safe houses and the location of a few business fronts. Tomorrow night we make our move on the best looking targets. Kill what we can and destroy the buildings. All we want left behind is a charred memory. If this ain't your flavor then you are free to go right now. We won't hold it against you. If you are in…know the risks of what we are about to do."
Jax said, "Take some time to think about what we've said here. Contact your charters back home and fill them in. We'll reconvene in two hours."
He picked up the gavel and adjourned the meeting.
The men slowly filed out of the chapel leaving behind Jax, Opie, Chibs, Tig and Happy. The other members of SAMCRO had other orders from Jax even before the meeting began.
Opie asked, "What do you think they are going to do?"
Jax chuckled. "If they are smart…they will run as far away from Charming as they can and protect what they have at home."
Tig smirked. "If they were smart they wouldn't be SOA."
Opie said, "I think about half will want to stay and help us with the Russians. I was reading faces while you were talking. I think a lot of them want to help send this message. We might be a group of separate organizations but we are the founding charter and those assholes tried to kill a member of the first nine. That sort of thing doesn't go unanswered."
Jax said, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
He glanced at his watch. "I am going to go to the hospital. I'll be back before we get started."
Opie said, "You shouldn't ride alone. I'll come with."
