Well guys, today we'll have some Sex Education! XD Aren't I soooo bad? And we'll have something else, too.
Mm...with all the sex content in this chapter, should I change the rating? I mean, it's only the truth about sex. XD
Don't worry, I'm not gonna make Arnold and Helga go THAT far. Don't worry.
Maybe I will make a fic of that idea someday. Who knows?
Also, I learned about sex and how babies were made when I was nine, so why not? I think it's a good age. Especially if you have the right reading material if you choose to use some. The illustrated children's book "Where Did I Come From?" is an excellent book that explains about love making and baby making, growth and birth. :D I definitely recommend it for your own future children someday.
Oh, and one last thing. I decided to shorten this chapter a little...but fear not! The next chapter will be the big date. And I think a particular moment that you fellow Arnelga fans are waiting for. ;) I just wanted to make this chapter the little Sex Ed stuff and Arnold popping the question. X3 And don't you worry, too, secret friend! You know who you are. ;)
ANYWAY, on with the story!
--
"Come on, the Wicked Witch of the West was the best part of The Wizard of Oz!" Helga insisted.
"She was plain evil, and creepy!" Arnold laughed.
"You know, Glinda and the Wicked Witch used to be friends!"
"What? What do you mean?"
"Haven't you ever heard of the novel called Wicked? It's a story that centres around the Wicked Witch of the West! There's a play for it, too."
Arnold and Helga were on their way to school one Thursday morning a week after the little session with Dr. Bliss, and since then, when alone, they sometimes would take the opportunity to chat about things. Their conversations were actually a lot of fun, from agreeable topics to heated debates, to just laughing and sharing weird and fun stories.
"No, I haven't. Is it good?"
"Incredible! It's a good read, football head. I guarantee it. You know what else is good? Return To Oz. Now THAT movie, was incredibly neat!"
"What's that movie? Is it a sequel?"
"You bet it is! It was made in the eighties. I saw it when they re-released it in theatres two years ago." Helga said as if she were bragging. "Oh criminy Arnold, it's so bizarre! Olga dragged me to see it at the time, and I figured it was probably as mushy as the first, but no! It's incredibly weird."
"How weird?"
"You'll have to watch it and find out, Arnoldo. It's actually based on two of the Wizard of Oz book series, The Wonderful Land of Oz and Ozma of Oz." Helga winked at him. "Oh man, one scene even gave me nightmares! In the scene, Dorothy's gotta go get some magic powder to bring a moose head to life...and she's gotta steal it from this equally wicked woman known as Mombi. Ooh! She's pure evil! And she has the ability to change her head."
"What?! That's...that's so grotesque!"
"It's not what you think, it's actually done pretty well that's not really gross. But anyway, so Dorothy sneaks into her room and goes to the main cupboard...she's reaching for the Powder of Life, when suddenly...oh, you'll have to watch the scene! It's no fun if I just tell you."
"Oh come on, I want to know!"
"Ah ah ah, it'll be more fun once you see it from the movie itself. Besides, we're here." Helga pointed up ahead, where P.S. 118 was. "So we'll have to save it for later."
Helga kept a cool front, replacing her expression with that of her usual scowl, looking as if she would rather be doing something else as she wheeled Arnold up to the school. Rhonda, Nadine and Sheena were sitting outside on the front steps, probably gossiping, and looked up as they saw them coming. By now, all their fellow classmates were used to seeing Helga pushing Arnold around in his wheelchair. She never said much unless it had to do with her helping out, she didn't tease or call him names in front of everyone much, unless the situation called for it. Unexpectedly, because now everyone was used to it, they didn't make fun of her or him for it.
Until now.
"Well Helga, it seems she still continues to cater to poor little Arnold." Rhonda said in a bit of a condescending way.
"I don't see you spewing out Get Well cards, Princess." Helga said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get this football-headed geek down to class early, if you don't mind."
"Oh, go right ahead. Better you than me." Rhonda laughed, along with Sheena and Nadine, whom both just laughed along so that Rhonda wouldn't target them next. "Isn't that right, ladies?"
"Oh, yeah! For sure!" Sheena nodded.
"No kidding!" Nadine said with a giggle.
"Can you just imagine what kind of mom she'd be?"
"I know! That's just crazy!"
"Helga would probably throw her kids off a nearby bridge if they so much as looked at her the wrong way!"
The girls laughed again, and Arnold had just about had enough of this. He didn't like anyone picking on Helga, especially when she clearly didn't deserve it, like right now.
"Don't you girls have anything better to do than to downsize someone?" Arnold said in a warning tone. "Leave her alone."
Arnold! He's...he's defending me! Helga thought, absolutely shocked.
"Man Arnold, she must've brainwashed you!" Rhonda laughed, not at all fazed.
Helga's fists curled, but before she could do or say anything else, Arnold answered Rhonda again, this time, sounding a lot angrier.
"Look Rhonda, you had better quick talking about Helga that way. Or I'll-"
The girls were surprised, now rendered speechless. It wasn't often that the usually calm, and good-natured Arnold was so ticked off. In the past he might've been irritated with Helga's pranks and teasing, but that was as far as he went. Now he looked as if you had better watch out. Especially in his eyes.
"Jeez, what a grouch. C'mon ladies, let us go continue our discussion elsewhere." Rhonda gathered her books, and stuck her nose into the air as she walked up to the main doors, followed by the hurried Nadine and Sheena.
"You didn't have to do that." Helga said. "I could've handled them."
The blonde boy sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, I got a little carried away with her talking to you like that. You didn't even do anything wrong."
Helga just gave a small, rueful smile as she nodded and then gingerly pushed the wheelchair up the stairs and then inside the school. Gerald and Phoebe were already there, chatting at his locker when they saw Arnold and Helga coming to them. Or rather, Helga coming to them while pushing Arnold in his chair.
"Well there you guys are! What took ya?" Gerald asked, mostly to Arnold.
"If you must know Tall-Hair boy, the little Princess decided to make it her day's mission to make Arnold angry." Helga said with a scowl. Despite that the humiliation was directed at her, she couldn't stand someone making Arnold angry like that.
Still, she was flattered that he wasn't hesitant to defend her.
Gerald and Phoebe exchanged glances before looking back at their respective best friends, a little confused. The bell then rang before anyone could say anything about it, and went off to class.
"You all right, Arnold?" Gerald hissed to his best friend.
"I'm fine, Gerald. I just got a little carried away earlier, that's all." Arnold said. "Don't worry about it."
Gerald raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. "Whatever you say, man."
Once in class, everyone sat at their seats as Mr. Simmons greeted them all and then held his hands up for attention.
"All right, class, today we have an extra special presentation in regards to our very own health!" Mr. Simmons told them, earning some groans from the class. "Now, now, I can promise you that this will be quite exciting! And this lady here, Doctor Jamison from Hillwood Hospital's very own Gynecology Department, will be presenting to you all a very special and educational explanation on making love!"
The blonde woman sitting in the chair near Mr. Simmons's desk nodded and then stood up. "Hello everyone, my name is Dr. Theresa Jamison, and I am an Obstetrician Gynecologist at Hillwood Hospital. I am here today to teach you all Sex Education. While it is a rather taboo and shocking subject, especially at your age, we feel that is best to educate our younger generation on what it is and what they are in for when the time comes."
A few kids in the class hooted, obviously indicating they knew what it was. Arnold was a little bit confused. He'd heard the terms "sex" and "making love" before, but he never knew exactly what it was. A spitball hit the back of his head, and he shot his head back toward where Helga was sitting. She just shot him a glare and said "What? I didn't do it!". Then she shrugged as if to say "Old habits die hard."
He smiled a little bit, and then turned back to face the front.
Helga was sitting back in her seat, tearing up papers and writing some poems, bored out of her mind. She already pretty much knew what sex was, since having accidentally watching a sex scene in a movie that Olga had been watching. She'd managed to watch about ten minutes of it before Olga shooed her out of the room, making her to think that this wasn't for little kids to see. She too had also read about sex scenes in books, and even implications, also books on growing up and teens having sex. Still, since having not experienced it first hand, she knew pretty much nothing about it except for the basic "procedure" and a few slang terms for it. "Tango", "Hook up", "Do it", "Get it on", for example. She also knew some other details of it, such as that was how a woman got pregnant.
Looking over at Arnold as she tossed a piece of folded up paper as opposed to it being a spitball at his head, she now even thought about the possibility of whether or not they would ever get around to doing that. Not RIGHT NOW of course, they were only nine! That was something she considered for when they were older, like mid to late teens or something.
None the less, she knew that she wanted her first time to be with Arnold. If she couldn't have that, then she would remain abstinent her whole life. Then again, even if they did take such a drastic step, it wouldn't be like they would suffer from any real percussions. As far as she knew, Arnold wouldn't be able to impregnate her.
Still, even that's a bit too much for me at this age. Helga thought, leaning back in her chair and placing her feet on her desk. It does seem interesting, though. I guess it'll be a neat bonding moment if we ever do that, maybe in a few years or whatever. I don't want to wait until marriage! Nah, not until Arnold is my first time. If not, forget it.
"All right, all right, settle down." Dr. Jamison said. "Now I know some of you may already be somewhat aware of what sex really is. When a man and a woman love each other very much, they will indeed partake in making love, which is a term for having sex, since it is most often done between two people who love each other. Now, how it works is..."
She showed them some diagrams on an easel, showing drawings of the male and female anatomy, private parts and all, and then some rather...graphic diagrams...
As he listened to this, Arnold felt himself stiffen a little. It was pretty surprising to see how sex worked. His eyes widened considerably, and he wasn't sure what to think. It was so...personal! And a little weird. Very. A man would insert his...thing into the woman's thing...? Oh my!
Arnold's cheeks pinkened, and then he felt something hit the back of his head. A piece of rolled up paper. For once, he was actually relieved by the distraction. He glanced at Helga, who stared at him while whispering "What?" with a light scowl.
--
Some moments passed, and then Helga saw a neatly folded piece of paper on her desk. She stared at it, a little confused, and opened it.
I don't know about you, but this is really bizarre. How do you do it, Helga? You're so calm about it. I'm pretty weirded out...how do you do it?
~Arnold
Helga blinked as she read the note, seeing now it was from Arnold, and hid a smile behind her hand. He was so cute! It was obvious to her now that he knew pretty much little to nothing about sex. Understandable, not many kids their age did. Somehow she expected that, since he did too much of everything else than to wonder where babies came from.
Oh Arnold my love, you're simply adorable when you're all bashful and confused! Awww... Helga thought with a dopey smile.
She wrote back to him, deciding to humour him.
Let's just say I already know all this stuff for the most part. It's a wonder what books and movies can do, football head. ;)
~Helga G. Pataki for President
A few moments later, it came back.
You already know this stuff?! Wow. I mean, that is, you read about it and all that.
She giggled quietly to herself and wrote back again.
You bet I did, Arnoldo. Say, why are you even writing to me, anyway? Wouldn't you rather talk to tall-hair boy?
No way! He's as clueless as I am.
Figured. XD
Ha ha. Well, um, do you still have a book about it?
Yeah, I do. I got two of 'em. Why?
Would it be okay if I borrowed it? I have to admit I'm kind of curious.
Nursie's explanations not good enough for ya?
No, no! I mean...I just want to read about it.
No need, she's gonna pass out a couple to those who want one. You can go get one.
Okay, I'll do that. Thanks anyway. :)
Don't mention it. ...Really, don't. Or I'll pound you.
Whatever you say, Helga. XD
You stink. XD
I know. XD
XD
XD
Why the heck are we doing that?!
You tell me. ;)
Shut up.
Okay. :D
XD
XD
You're doing it again!
Doing what? :)
XD You still stink, football head.
XD Thank you, Pinky.
Pinky?!
You can call me insults, but I can't? That's mean.
Suck it up, binky boy.
Binky boy?! Oh now you're asking for it. ...Bowie.
Hey!
Hay is for horses.
I'll kill you!
When? XD
Now!
Okay. But can I have a Yahoo soda before I die?
We'll talk about it.
Yay!
Shut up.
You shut up.
Make me!
I will.
How? :3
XD No idea.
XD Figured.
XD
XD
Now YOU'RE doing it!
Oh yeah well, shut it, hair boy!
How can I? I'm not even talking.
Quit being so smart, football head!
Okay, Pinky.
Don't call me that!
Make me.
I don't make monkeys, I train 'em!
Good one. XD
Thanks. XD
What were we talking about?
I don't know. Something about a lizard.
XD Ha ha.
;)
This is fun...
Don't get used to it, paste-for-brains. I'm just doing this 'cause I have nothing better to do.
Suuuuuuuure you are. Admit it Helga, you're having fun. You would've stopped if you weren't having fun.
Not true. I just didn't want to be rude.
Not buying it. You're having fun. :D
I'm not!
Yes you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are.
No I'm-don't start that again!
Start what? :)
That!
What's that?
You're impossible!
XD
You stink, football head.
You too, Pinky.
Stop it!
Stop what?
Oh don't you dare!
;)
XD
Good luck, Mrs. President. XD I already feel bad for the First Man!
Hey!
:D
Ohhhh, you're in for it now!
Am I? :)
Yes.
How so?
Shut up!
No.
Yes!
No.
Yes!
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.
Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
XD
XD
You still stink.
I know. :)
Over class, they continued to pass notes to each other surprisingly unnoticed. Everyone was so fixated on either paying attention or talking quietly amongst themselves. It was a lot of fun! Arnold found himself trying to hold in his laughter as he and Helga passed notes back in forth, on a friendly and yet rivaling manner. It was fun, they were having fun. And he knew she was having fun too, despite that she wasn't about it admit it.
Gerald did cast them a couple of looks, but decided not to butt in. Especially since Arnold shot him a couple of glances in warning. He then looked at Phoebe where she was sitting on Helga's free side (Helga's desk is against the wall), and saw the Japanese girl watching Helga and smiling. She noticed him looking at her and looked back at him. She waved, with a bashful smile. Smiling, Gerald waved back at her.
Dr. Jamison continued talking about sex, as well as safe sex which involved talking of condoms, diaphragms, jelly, and all that other paraphernalia. As it progressed, Arnold did find himself to be less nervous and stiff about it, and more curious. It was still big and overwhelming, since you normally didn't think about doing this kind of thing at nine years old, but he was pretty curious about how it all worked, what it was like, why it was the way it was...it was interesting.
Hey football head, did you know that humans and dolphins are the only creatures who actually have sex for pleasure?
Arnold didn't know that. He took in that information and nodded before writing back to her. Pretty neat stuff she knew, he had to admit.
Really? I didn't know that.
Well now ya do.
I guess so. You're pretty smart, Helga. ;)
XD I know a lot of things, football head.
Like what?
Two plus two is four.
XD Ha ha. Very funny. I didn't know that until now.
You suck at sarcasm.
Hey!
Hay is for horses.
Oh, right back at me, huh?
Yep. ;)
Hey, Helga?
What, football head?
I know this is crazy, especially for me to ask in the middle of class and all, but um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out for dinner with me maybe tomorrow night?
...Really?
Yeah. If you want to.
Why are you asking this all of a sudden?
Well, um, to be honest Helga, I want us to have some time to ourselves with no real interruption, where we can talk and just have fun. And...well, to be honest, I have a lot I want to talk about with you. In fact, if you want, after we're done, we can go back to the house and we'll sit on the roof under the stars. If you want to, that is.
Helga was taken aback by all this, unsure of how to respond. Was Arnold asking her on a DATE?!Something to do? Just the two of them? Really?! She was just about absolutely shocked.
No WAY was she turning THIS down!
Well...sure, I guess. Whatever floats your boat.
Really?! :D
XD Yes.
Sounds great. :) Thanks, Helga.
Um, sure....I guess. Um, hey, how are we going to get you on the roof? Your leg will make it hard.
Don't worry, we'll think of a way. :)
Well, okay then.
:)
XD
:)
So what, it's a date?
Sure. If you want it to be.
After that, the bell rang, signaling it was time for recess.
"If you have any questions, I will be in the nurse's office today and the rest of this week." Dr. Jamison said. "So don't hesitate to come and see me if you want to know anything."
"Hey." Helga hissed to Arnold. "Go with Geraldo, okay? I gotta go talk with Phoebe."
"Got it." Arnold gave her a thumbs up and then wheeled out of class after Gerald.
Phoebe came up to Helga as they filed out of class. Ooh, she had an idea of what was going on.
"All right Helga, what's going on? I saw that look on your face." Phoebe said, smiling knowingly.
"Let's just say the dense but adorable football head asked me out on a date."
"Really?!"
"More or less."
"Awww, Helga, that's wonderful!" Phoebe gushed happily. "I'm so happy for you! Are you going?"
"Well of COURSE I am. I doubt that it WON'T be awkward if I said no, since we're living under the same roof and all." Helga said sarcastically.
"Oh, true." Phoebe realized, nodding. "Well, then I'll bet you're looking forward to it!"
"Doi, of course!" Helga then broke out into a grin.
--
"You did WHAT?!" Gerald exclaimed in surprise as he wheeled Arnold outside onto the playground. Since they couldn't do anything, they normally sat up against the fence and would maybe toss a ball to each other back and forth.
"I asked Helga to go on a date with me." Arnold said, keeping his voice down. "I think it would really help me to figure out my feelings for her."
"You mean you still don't know?!"
"Not really. I mean, I think I am leaning more toward it now, but I just want to be sure so that I don't get her hopes up or lead her on." Arnold said. "I think we just need to have some time alone with little to no interruption from home or anyone else, and just talk and talk about things, you know?"
"I hear ya, man." Gerald said. "Well...you're still crazy, but, I'm willin' to wish ya good luck."
Arnold smiled. "Thanks, Gerald." He did their little secret handshake with him. "I hope it goes well."
"With you man, even if it's Helga, she's got nothin' to worry about. Unfortunately."
"Gerald!"
"I'm just sayin'..."
