Chapter 8:

The best dream EVER

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Hmm. That's a pretty boring disclaimer. Ah, well. My disclaimers aren't being reviewed.

"Oh no!"

I spun around quickly to face my friends, as I led the way out of the portrait hole, three days after my eventful evening in the hospital wing.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Bridget turned to me, her face serious, though her eyes were glinting with amusement. "Sorry, Lils. My Potter-o-meter just went off. Your least favorite person is coming straight towards us."

"Great," I said sarcastically, mentally preparing myself for a fight, as I saw Potter and his cronies walking down the hall towards us. I gritted my teeth, and pretended to be engrossed in conversation with my friends, as we walked down the hall.

Clenching my fists to my sides, we drew closer to the Marauders. Whenever I came within a twenty-foot radius, Potter always made an attempt to ask me out. Or, at the very least, shot a sarcastic jab at me. I was sick of his immature behavior, but besides shout at him, there wasn't much I could do.

I braced myself. We passed the Marauders. I opened my mouth to say something spiteful as Potter and I came within six inches of each other.

And he did nothing.

Blinking hard I looked back at Potter and his friends. They were talking animatedly together. Potter was totally focused on the conversation: He never once looked back at me.

"Okay," I said, pinching my cheek. "It's time to wake up. I've got some important classes today. I can't oversleep. Wake up, me!" Katherine, Margaret, Elise and Bridget had all stopped, and were staring at me with bemused expressions on their faces.

"Um," giggled Elise. "Sorry to tell you this," she paused and laughed loudly, "But, you're already awake, Lily!"

Obviously my dreaming subconscious was a very good liar. There was no way that in my waking life, Potter would not pass up the chance to look at me. When it came to be around me, and staring at me, he was like some kind of obsessed monster. Or wait. I guess that's just one of the normal symptoms of being a teenage boy.

Whatever.

"Nope," I replied. "You're lying. Only in my dreams does Potter not swamp me with attention. And this is the nicest dream ever! I just don't want to miss breakfast. Hopefully Bridget will wake me up I sleep late."

"Lily," asked Katherine nervously. "Are you feeling okay?" She nervously put on a hand on my forehead, as though worried I might have a dangerous fever that had left me oddly delirious.

"Am I feeling okay?" I repeatedly happily, as I shook her hand off my head. "Of course! I am obviously having the best dream of my life!" I skipped off to breakfast, leaving my friends standing, staring stunned after me.

If I really was asleep, then I could get away with ANYTHING! Sitting down or some really good blueberry pancakes which my subconscious had prepared for me, I planned out what would be the best, if fantasy, day of my life.

Lily. You thought you were dreaming? Are you serious?

Unfortunately.

Wow. Okay. My turn!

Your turn?

To tell the story!

Oh, but I was just getting to the good part!

Please? Pretty, pretty please, with whipped cream, walnuts, Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans, sprinkles—

James,

--Marshmallow whip, chocolate sauce, strawberry preserves, crushed Oreos, shredded coconut—

James,

--M&Ms, butterscotch sauce, Licorice Wands, and maraschino cherries—

James!

--On top?

Oh, for goodness sake! Yes, James, you can tell the story for a while!

Yay!

"So," I said, breaking hurriedly into conversation with Sirius as my fellow Marauders and I walked out of the Great Hall the first morning after the disastrous Ancient Runes. I had just spotted Evans and her friends coming towards us. "Padfoot, mate, what was up with you at, uh, breakfast?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Sirius, puzzled.

"Well, obviously I was talking about when you walked past the Slytherin Table this morning, and—You didn't pull a prank! You didn't even try to hex a first year! I am ashamed, Black. Quite ashamed." I pulled a wry grin, as we came closer to Evans. Time to put Operation Abandon Fondness into action. We'd both be better off. Of course we would.

So, why was I feeling so depressed?

"Oh, yeah, that," said Padfoot, completely ignoring my sudden lack of concentration. "I don't know why I didn't pull a prank, or whatever. I think I must be coming down with something." He pretended to look serious.

I know what you're thinking, Lily.

What?

Doesn't Sirius always look "serious"! Hee, hee!

James, actually, I wasn't thinking that. And also, the whole Serious-Sirius thing is really dumb. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it! And for the record, this is definitely not the first time!

Oh.

Just get back to the story.

Right. Will do…

Sirius looked at me, poker-faced. "Do I look pale to you? Because I definitely feel like I've got some fatal and deadly disease. I probably only have a few hours to live. Good-bye world!"

Moony, Wormtail and I snorted with laughter. And—We walked right by Evans. She and I came so close, our little fingers almost brushed together. Midway through a chuckle, I had to clench my fist hard so as to remind myself to act as if I was ignoring Lily Evans.

Laughing forcibly through my gritted teeth, I grimaced painfully. It was hard work trying to imagine that the most gorgeous creature ever was just another classmate.

"Of course! I am obviously having—" The sounds of Evans talking cheerfully followed us down the corridor, making me want to puke. Evans hadn't even noticed me not noticing her!

When at last the sounds of Evans and her three minions had finally drifted away, I let out a long breath. I ran a hand through my hair, rumpling it behind comprehension, trying to relieve some of my tension by rearranging my hair.

Turning to listen to Padfoot's loud, and crude, story about what Professor Flitwick had been doing in the Forbidden Forest last night, I found that Moony was staring at me oddly.

"What's up, Moony?" I asked.

Remus stopped and said casually to me, "Prongs, I think that you're the one who's ill."

"Oh, why's that?" I asked nonchalantly, praying that this wasn't about Evans. I didn't think that my brain could take the strain of ignoring her any longer.

Remus looked at me with a funny expression on his face. Not, ha, ha funny, but more like you don't know that there's a flesh-hungry T-Rex creeping up behind you. Not that I had a flesh-hungry T-Rex creeping up behind me. It was just, you know, a metaphor.

"James, you just walked past Lily Evans, and you didn't even blink," Moony said, in a shocked voice.

"Hey, you're right!" Exclaimed Sirius. "Way to go James, you've finally seen the light! You finally appreciate the truth that no girl is worth obsessing about for less than a weekend!"

"What?" Asked Peter. "That was Evans? I didn't even recognized her, with you two not shouting at each other."

"I am not ill, Moony," I said to my one sane friend. "Today is the first day I implement Operation Abandon Fondness. The fondness refers to my adoration for Evans."

"Whoa," said Sirius, an amused expression on his face. "Is this that thing from yesterday? The giant squid thing?"

"Unfortunately," I said in a low voice. There was no doubt that I was suffering from severe Evans Withdrawal. My head was empty, without a single witty retort, and my retinas were screaming to ogle a sexy redhead.

Moony smiled at me. "Well, good luck with oaf."

"What did you call me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Not you. Operation Abandon Fondness. O. A. F. are the initials. And the letters o, a, f, make up the word Oaf!"

"Right," I said lamely. "I know that. I was just, um, testing you. Yep!"

"Sure," said Remus, nodding his head cynically. "You're delusion is cool with me. And I'm just not going to bother to point out that maybe your plan isn't so smart, if the definition of its acronym is a clumsy, stupid person!"

I glared at him, not willing to consent that he might be right.

Lilykins.

Don't call me that!

How else was I supposed to get your attention?

Good point. What do you want?

It's your turn to talk.

All right! Here, hold this while I get ready to talk.

What is it?

A in ice cream sundae with whipped cream, walnuts, Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans, sprinkles, marshmallow whip, chocolate sauce, strawberry preserves, crushed Oreos, shredded coconut, M&Ms, butterscotch sauce, Licorice Wands, and maraschino cherries on top! You made me hungry.

Oo-kay.

Don't worry. I won't let my yummy ice cream get in the way of my story-telling…

I slid down the banister of the marble staircase; I ignored Professor Binns' lecture, as I doodled on my desk; I hit Snape with a Leg-Locker Curse and locked him in a fourth-floor cabinet; and I ate 43 Chocolate Frogs in Transfiguration!

I was having the best day of my life! Except it actually was only a dream. Oh, well.

At lunch I continued with my thrilling imagination as I ate 13 pieces of fried chicken, and a large slab of cheesecake. Yum!

Margaret, Katherine and Elise were all looking at me with concern for some reason, but Bridget kept glancing at me, then looking away, shaking her head and smiling.

With fifteen minutes left in lunch, I heard someone whistling a jazzy tune as they walked out of the Great Hall. It was "Don't Let Me Stop Enchanting You," the popular wizarding song by the Screaming Pixies.

Soon there were ten minutes left before I went back to classes, and I couldn't get the song out of my head! I hummed it to myself, but felt an odd urge to dance. I jumped to my feet, and began a spirited and improvised break dance on the table. I ignored the large platters of food that I was rolling in, and let out a huge grin! I love sleeping!

Heads turned around the hall and people stood up to watch me dance, but I was oblivious to everything but the ka-chunk, ka-chunk of the tambourine in my head.

"Don't let me stop, stop, stop enchanting, oh no, you! Doo, doo, doo! I charmed you into my heart, and you, oh, yes, you, Obliviated it ri-ight out of me! Ooo, ooo, ooo! Hey, yeah!" I threw my hands into the air as I turned my breakdance into an impromptu Riverdance, singing at the top of my voice. Hey, no one ever said that the lyrics were all that great, but I was feeling hyper, and unstoppable: a great, yet dangerous combination!

"And now, Miss Evans, your unnecessary and ill-timed performance is over," a sharp voice said, cutting abruptly through my revelry.

Oops. Professor McGonagall stood in front of me. Her face was stern, and she had the kind of look on her face that she only had when someone was about to die. Not literally though, but you never knew with McGonagall.

"Hello, Professor," I said nervously to her. This might be a lovely dream, but even in dreams I could still get in trouble.

"Miss Evens, will you please be so good as to explain the meaning of your disruptive recital?"

"Sure," I replied. "I'm, um, rehearsing for a play that I'm doing with my third cousins over Christmas break. I've got the lead. I play a, um, love sick, um, Norwegian." I smiled awkwardly at her. Subconsciously I was begging her to believe that, however implausible it might sound.

"Your Muggle cousins sing wizarding ballads?" McGonagall asked cynically.

"Oh, sure," I said, quickly jumping from the table to the floor. "They just don't know that it was originally a song by the Dancing Leprechauns. They think it's a Beatles song."

"I wasn't aware that Muggle insects could sing, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said sternly. "Deten—"

"Ooh, no. Right. Um, it's a Muggle band, but you know, I'm-really-sorry-won't-happen-again! Yep, I've completely, totally, utterly, absolutely, really learned my lesson, my, my— Oh, shoot, what's a synonym for 'lesson'?" I ended my regretful ramblings with my sweetest and most winning smile.

You know that smile; it's the kind that melts Potter into butter. Not, of course, that I have to smile to make him melt.

Heck, I could pick my nose and that boy would fall to my— Wait! I'm dreaming! And he's ignoring me! And that's great!

So, why am I still comparing my facial actions to what he likes?

Oh, God I'm confused!

But, meanwhile Professor McGonagall was looking at me doubtfully. "Well, Lily, I just don't know," she said slowly.

But I smiled. When she uses the first name, you know you're golden. I'd gotten away with it!

"I'll send you an invitation to see the play!"

McGongall cleared her throat. "That won't be necessary, Miss Evans. I'll let you go this time, but—"

I smiled again, letting her know grateful I was to not become when of those cursed multitudes who receive detentions. "Oh, thank you so much, Professor! I really—"

"There's no need to grovel. You may stop kissing my shoes." I stood up hurriedly, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. Man, her shoe polish tasted nasty!

"But," McGonagall continued, "Your breaking of rules is becoming all too common, Miss Evans. I shall expect you to curb it before I really do have to give you detention."

"Oh. Right. 'K. Bye." I quickly grabbed my books and ran out of the Great Hall.

That had been close! But, of course, it still proved that I was having the best dream of my life; everyone knew that McGonagall was ridiculously strict about not breaking rules. I mean, if I wasn't asleep, I would never have gotten out of there alive. After being made to scrub the Quidditch Pitch with a steel rag for all eternity, I would have had to re-varnish the table legs in the Great Hall, and then I'd probably be expelled. And decapitated. And drawn and quartered. And—

So, yeah. McGonagall's compliant behavior completely proved that I was still dreaming.

I grinned and started to sing again.

James, now you tell your side.

No.

Why not?

It was painful, Lily

Oh, come on! I really want to hear it!

Fine. I was miserable that entire day because I had to force myself to not look at, or think about you. I was constantly reminding myself to ignore you, and I had a horrible headache, and— Oh, man. I DON'T want to talk about it.

Oh, all right James. Go—mope or something. I'll keep telling my part…

There were the faint rumblings of thunder as I pranced into my last class of the day. My fabulous dream was going so splendidly! I had never had better day!

Too bad I had to wake up soon.

That was the most depressing though ever. I really wished I had like three more hours before I have to get up.

"Good afternoon, Professor," I said as I stepped into Slughorn's classroom, praying that my alarm wouldn't go off soon.

"Well, good afternoon to you, Miss Evans!" boomed Slughorn jovially. "And how is my favorite student today? You look particularly happy about something."

"I am just having a fantastic day, sir!"

"Oh, good. I hope that it's due at least partly to the exciting aura of my classroom," Slughorn said winking at me.

I smiled broadly as I set my materials up in favorite desk in the front row. "Yeah— No. I just love the world today!"

And, go figure, at that moment Potter walked in.

But I was really all right with it, because normally when he entered a classroom he looked around until he found me, and then made a beeline over to me, pestering him inanely until class started.

Today, though, he greeted Professor Slughorn brightly and walked straight past me with Black and Remus to their customary seats in the back of the classroom. Potter looked the happiest that I had ever seen him, although perhaps a little pale. And he did have a strained look in his eyes. He'd undoubtedly had too much ice cream for lunch. Maybe he'd become so sick that he'd have to be quarantined, and I'd never see him again!

I smiled evilly. That would be very nice.

Yeah, no, duh. Of course you would have liked that. You blooming hated me, while I felt like I might hurl if I didn't look at you soon.

Oh, come on James, it can't have been that bad

No, it was! I was getting pale from my Lily-Extraction, and, uh, from, the three, er, gallons of Raspberry Ripple ice cream that I had with my fish sticks at lunch. But, but—The point is I was just perishing without you!

James, I love you. You're such a doofus…

Professor Slughorn had set us the difficult task of turning a potion of Felix Felicis into a Nausea Potion, by removing only one ingredient. Twenty minutes passed silently by as we removed ingredients, put them back, stirred our potions, and sweated profusely in the humid heat of the many fires.

This was a fairly routine class, so, when the door opened halfway through class, we all started in surprise. All heads jerked up from our cauldrons and gazed through the silvery haze rising from our cauldrons at our intruder.

I felt my heart beats speed up, and thump louder. It was Tommy Williams.

He crossed over to Slughorn's desk and handed him a note. While Slughorn read it, Tommy leaned over his shoulder, whispering rapidly to him.

What should—My gosh—Is he looking—Does he—He's so handsome—There's no way that—He must like—Aaaaaaah! He's looking at—Oh, never mind—Do I look— For two and half minutes I stood stupidly by the side of my cauldron, disjointed thoughts rushing through my head, my ladle dropping loosely in my sweaty, trembling fingers. Finally as my potion began to emit large boot-sized puff of coal black smog, I at last had a concrete realization. I was dreaming! I could do anything I liked, and it wouldn't matter! While I was here inside my subconscious, Tommy would do whatever I wished! A vision of the secluded broom closet on the floor above us flashed into my mind. I sighed dreamily. After snogging in the broom cupboard maybe he and I could run away to the south of France and live in a pink villa and have seventeen children… If only I don't wake up, that villa is ours, uh, mine.

"Miss Evans," Slughorn called. I looked up from daydream and furiously began to pretend to be stirring my exhaust-filled potion.

"Uh, yes sir?"

"Mr. Williams needs some skinned mandrake for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Would you please assist him in carrying it back to his class?"

My heart leaped into my throat. And actually, you'd be surprised by how uncomfortable that is. I coughed roughly. "Of, of course! I'd certainly be glad to!" If I was dreaming, well you never could know what would happen when I was alone with Tommy. All right!

I jumped out of my seat and shot across the room to where Tommy was standing. I smiled seductively at him.

"Miss Evans, did you accidentally swallow some of your Nausea Potion? You have a horrible grimace on your face," Slughorn asked with concern.

Oh. I'd thought I'd looked seductive. Maybe not.

Tommy came out of the storeroom carrying two large bags of shredded mandrake skin. I grabbed a bag from him and hurried out the door. I rushed out so quickly that I was twenty meters away from Slughorn's classroom by the time Tommy had realized that I had left, and he had caught back up with me.

"Hey," he said quietly, not looking at me.

"Hello," I replied, in low, sultry voice.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Tommy asked. "You sound like you have a cold."

Dang! Even subconsciously I can't seem to get the hang of these flirtatious mannerisms! When I wake up I'll have to ask Margaret to show me how to be more beguiling. Not that she's very good at it herself: she just happens to read a lot of those fluffy romance novels.

I shook my head at Tommy. "No. I don't have a cold. I just—Ah—Never mind."

We walked in awkward silence down the hallway and up a flight of stairs. I kept running my fingers through my hair, hoping that he thought I looked pretty. When we were halfway down the corridor from the DADA classroom, Tommy paused.

"Lily," he said softly, turning to face me. I looked up expectantly at him. A slice of sunlight was cutting through the dark clouds outside illuminating his glorious features. He had never looked more wonderful. Can you tell that I liked him? A lot? Like, I was ready to die for him?

Except that then I couldn't live in a pink villa in the south of France with him and our seventeen children.

But, I loved him. I think. I liked him more than I hated Potter, anyways.

Oh my God! Why do I keep thinking of Potter? I thought this was a dream where I was free from Potter. I hate Potter. I really do. I like Tommy so much. He's gorgeous.

So, why is James Potter still on my mind?

It must be because I hate him so much that even subconsciously he bugs me.

That must be it.

And Tommy was still standing in front of me, twisting his hands together nervously, as though about to say something uncomfortable. I struggled out of my cranial conflict and gazed devotedly at his perfect body.

He was about to begin speaking again. I tried to pull my gaze off his biceps. How long did he have to work out every day to get them that muscular? Meanwhile, though, Tommy was staring at me strangely, apparently expecting me to say something. Oops.

"Uh, sorry. Yes, Tommy?"

"Well, um, we actually have almost enough shredded boomslang for Defense. I went to get some, because, I, uh, I wanted to talk to you Lily."

I smiled sweetly up at him. "I'm here to talk to."

He rubbed his nose uneasily. "See, Lily, here's the thing. When we were in the library the other day, I wanted to tell you that—"

Yes! Yes! My big moment had arrived! He was about to reveal his unconditional love for me! Aw, heck, I'll save him the trouble.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. Somewhere a violin soared and fireworks exploded all around.

But those fireworks sure weren't exploding in that corridor, because almost as soon as my lips met his, Tommy gently shoved me away.

"Erm, Lily I was going to tell you that I think you're too immature for me, and uh, I think you just proved my point." He picked up the bags of mandrake skin and walked towards the DADA classroom.

I stood stunned for a moment, then let out a long hysterical shriek of laughter. "Hah! You can't just walk away! This is my dream, and in this dream everything is going great! You think I'm fabulous and gorgeous and you want to snog me in that broom cupboard right here, right now! Because this was the best dream of my life! Come ba-a-ck!"

I started to sprint after him, waiting for those damn violins to start playing, and for Tommy to turn and run dramatically towards me through a field of daisies, but no such luck. I tripped on an untied shoelace and fell onto my face.

While I lay I lay face down on the ground I heard a door open and close as Tommy entered his class.

For several minutes I lay on the floor tears rolling down my cheeks as I pounded my fists on the flagstones, silently cursing myself, and begging to wake up.

Finally after about five tear-drenched and curse-filled minutes I heard footsteps coming down the hallway from the staircase.

"Lily?" A voice asked.

I rolled onto my back, sniffling, and raised my head. It was Bridget. She looked worried.

"Are you all right?" I gaze a half-hearted shrug and burst into tears. "Um," Bridget continued kneeling and putting an arm around my shoulders, "Professor Slughorn sent me to find you because your cauldron, uh, exploded, and sort of melted Snape's shoes. And I also wanted to make sure you're okay, because you've been acting really weird today."

"I'm dreaming!" I wailed. "And I tried to kiss Tommy, but, but, he told me that I was too immature!" Bridget pulled me to my feet and I stood staring in anguish at her.

"Oh, Lily." Bridget paused, rubbing her fingers together nervously. "I know that today, up until now, was going great for you. But you have to realize that you're not dreaming. This is your life."

"Are you serious?" I asked. Bridget nodded. A wave of mortification washed over me. I had acted so stupidly it was embarrassing. Even for me. My tears and anguish evaporated as I contemplated all the amazing immature and foolish things that I had done, and that had happened to my today.

"Shit!" I said vehemently. "My life sucks!"

"Maybe so," said Bridget. "But, hey, at least you got to break dance on the curried rice."

A/N: Yay! Chapter 8 has finally arrived! It's my longest chapter yet, and I hope you find it as amusing to read as it was to write!

For anybody who's read the beginning of my new story about Gilderoy Lockhart, I know I said that I'd have an update today, but I've been REALLY busy, and just being able to get this posted is a miracle…

Bring on those reviews, and let me know how the story's developing. And for all of you who are hungry for some L/J romance, wait three chapters, and you'll get some… Don't worry. I've got it ALL planned out!

Buwhahaha!