It turns out that staying with Hela is not exactly a vacation but Bucky has killed significantly less people in last 28 days with her than he did in the last 3 with Thanos and that's a big win.

He mostly accompanies her on diplomatic missions where his only job is to stand outside, guard the door and look pretty. It's pleasant enough. As long as there are no incidents, he doesn't have to hurt anyone.

Hela doesn't share the details of these meetings with him but he suspects that she might be monitoring the progress in Thanos's colonies. He's not sure why. She's been talking to a lot of influential aliens that Bucky has seen before, either in person or as a hologram. He had to learn all of their names by hard so Thanos didn't have to.

It seems suspicious that she visits without an official invitation but since it's not his job to worry about politics anymore, Bucky keeps his mouth shut. No way he's getting into whatever this is for free.

His occupation as Hela's guard dog has been fairly easy so far. They've had only one serious assassination attempt when she met a T'halezyan ambassador (not the one Bucky lost his vocal chords to, thank you very much) but he's still not sure if their attackers even meant to arrive at the same time as they did. The planet deals with some ongoing political uprising and the ambassador is quite the sleaze bag according to the rumors. Bucky wouldn't hold it against his people if they tried to remove his head and put it on a spike all things considered but he can't have them threaten his superior.

The fighting and the inevitable kill were over quick and quiet. He made the mission report right after the meeting was done and Hela was safely back on her ship. She'd even thanked him for it.

In another life, Bucky might have liked her. When that is not enough motivation to be ruthless he just needs to imagine what Thanos's punishment for him would be if he'd let someone hurt a hair on her eccentric head and he's right back on track.

Despite her pompous outfits, the lady Death travels much lighter than Bucky's gotten used to. They live in a small silver-colored ship with about 20 other crew members now. None of them are slaves.

Everything's so different from Thanos's protocols that the initial anxiety about making a mistake had been a heavy stone in Bucky's gut. Thankfully, Hela doesn't punish him for getting things wrong. Asgardian manners are closest to human customs, so it's easy to adjust to her needs. Bucky's allowed to eat with her at the table and they've established a hesitant trust.

When he'd just started working for her, Hela told him to guard her as he saw fit, so Bucky does it according to his own judgement and experience in the field. He doesn't have a tight schedule for monitoring the security parameters because there's no need.

There are no imminent threats here.

The entire crew has been tested and interrogated to make sure there are no hidden agendas. No one means the lady Death any harm. Most of the crew are mercenaries with a healthy respect for Hela's powers and Bucky's reputation. They follow his orders in all things. It's perfectly safe.

Bucky's not stupid. Even if the ship was swarming with traitors, Hela wouldn't be afraid of anyone or anything.

He remembers now. Thor had told him that she'd murdered the best of his Asgardian warriors with minimal effort before Ragnarok came and the brothers sought refuge for the remaining survivors on Earth. The town square a bloody battlefield. Slaughtered bodies lying everywhere.

Odin's first-born, once banished from her home world because of her insatiable bloodlust, is a mighty warlord in a pretty getup. Technically, she's much stronger than Bucky and doesn't need him at all.

Thanos doesn't seem to know this though, which means that Bucky is either a hostage, her status symbol or something far worse. He's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

At first, he'd wondered if she had requested him as a consort because of her initial interest in his misshapen robot body. In Bucky's experience, women could be horrible people, too, so it was only logical to assume. It would have been dangerous not to.

In the beginning, when he'd just moved into his new quarters, Hela had visited quite often. She asked a lot of uncomfortable questions about the prosthetics, wanted to see the arm extend and let him demonstrate other tricks he could do, but she never made any advances. Thank god.

Bucky is glad she doesn't want him like that. He couldn't do that again. Asking for it and living with the flashbacks after.

Steve would say it's not his fault as usual but he doesn't know shit about these things. He's still naive. The kind of gentle idiot who always believes the best in people, never giving up on anyone or anything. Bucky's different. At best, he's an expert at giving it up.

It's 4 hours to midnight.

Time is running out. So far, Bucky's been through half a hundred voice emitters which he either lent, bought or stole. He's tried some other experimental shit, too, but the human voice is unique. Nothing sounds quite like Steve's Bucky is supposed to sound.

It's useless to keep trying and its not fair to drag him along like this anyways. Bucky's not a person Steve can love anymore and there's a point in time, where he's gonna have to fess up to that. He'd only hoped it would be much farer ahead. He needs more time with Steve. Just a little more...

There are three options. He's written them down in the little notebook before him, trying find the right way to deal with this, staring at the words for an hour, like they're gonna change if he blinks.

Not an option. Bucky would rather die than see Steve's reaction to his new body. He could probably take the disgusted looks and the disappointment after all but he can't make Steve feel guilty about it, too. It wasn't his choice. It was Bucky's and he's gonna have to deal with it alone.

This is bad but doable. Steve would be suspicious as hell and so disappointed. Bucky can already see the hurt puppy look he'd have to face. He'd ruin Steve's birthday. Again. It wouldn't be worth the wait at all. If Steve is smart he won't be there to chat with Bucky anyways next year. If there is a next year. Bucky hasn't forgotten the mad titan's warning.

This one would hurt like a bitch. Much more than the others. Bucky can barely think about it but it's inevitable if he wants to keep Steve alive. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want to live like this. He can't be selfish anymore. That luxury is in the past. He doesn't have anything left for Thanos and he can't get the love of his life killed for a few minutes of hearing his voice. If he goes through with this though, cutting all ties to his old life, he won't know if Thanos will keep his promise. He could ask for a picture. A glimpse at Steve's face just once a year. No talking, no contact. It's not unreasonable. Maybe he could earn it somehow.

Bucky closes the notebook with a thud. Tick-tock.

There's a knock at the door.

He throws the book across the room on instinct. It slides right under his bed where it's hidden from sight as he frantically pulls up a geographical star map of the sector, pretending to be studying the terrain. His heart is hammering in his chest.

"Boss? You home?"

That voice and the weird accent that comes with it is easy to identify. Bucky relaxes slightly.

"Jesus... Yeah. Come in."

Korg sticks his oversized rubble-head inside. His tall figure is as impressive as ever.

Bucky can't help a guarded smile.

Korg is a Kronan mercenary who used to fight as a slave gladiator on Sakaar until Banner and the Asgardian princes saved him from the pit. Apparently, it was a 'liberation by mistake' or something but it changed Korg's entire life around. During his mandatory interview with the Executioner he opened up more than Bucky had anticipated, crying about his dead brother like a child. The one he had to kill to survive the arena. Almost being the killer of a loved one and a long-time prisoner against his will himself, Bucky could relate to that more than he liked to admit.

They became something like friends after that in short time. Korg has a heart of gold and he's reliable, a skilled fighter who has worked for the Asgardians before. His knowledge made the job much easier to handle right away. Seeing him happy with the freedom here makes Bucky wish he could enjoy it, too.

"You in here thinking about yo' man? Need some privacy to..." Korg makes an aborted jerk-off motion with his hand.

Bucky raises an eyebrow at him.

He hasn't needed privacy for that in a long time. It's impossible to get off when he has to look at the purple arm or the legs. It's even more impossible when the creepy eye gives him unwanted feedback about his sexual response. The happy stone colossus doesn't need to know that though.

"What does a rock know about getting off, huh?"

Korg laughs. "More'n your sorry lot apparently. Want me to show you how us rocks do it?"

He wiggles his inflexible basalt-brows and puckers his lips dramatically. The expression looks absolutely hysterical because his face is literally set in stone.

Bucky mouth twitches but he doesn't loose his cool. "You know what insubordination is, Korg?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get technical with me, boss. I'm here on duty." He waves his hand.

"What is it?"

"The lady boss wants to talk."

"Any idea why?"

"She didn't say."

"Alright."

Bucky stands up with a clang. He winces. The material of the hard floor gives him this weird vibrating feedback sometimes when he's not careful.

"Korg?"

He gets a mock salute in return.

"Stay away from the notebook today, yeah? You can play some other time."

"Sure thing, boss. No worries."

Bucky can't risk interference on a day like this. The 4th is coming up fast and he can't make a final decision while Korg hangs out in his room like a big baby with a gambling problem. His alien friend uses the notebook to play some online-game called "Galaxy Wars VII" that he's weirdly addicted to. Apparently, it's what 'connects the races' today... As far as Bucky knows it's also what makes them chronically broke, so he wants nothing to do with it.

They have an understanding. In return for the notebook, Korg keeps the tech up to date and helps Bucky with the voice emitters. He doesn't know what they're supposed to achieve and he never asks. Just keeps looking when Bucky tells him the last ones were a bust.

"Good man."

When Bucky arrives at the bridge, Hela tucks her arm into his like they're old friends.

"I think you've earned a reward."

"A reward, ma'am?"

It almost sounds like a threat. Bucky vocabulary has extended massively over the past few years but he's pretty sure that the word 'reward' hasn't come up in relation to his sorry ass lately. Not in any way he'd enjoy.

There's that phantom feeling of hair standing up on his upper arms again.

"Yes, a reward. You remember those, don't you?"

Bucky gives her a strained shadow of a smile. "I do. I just— I didn't get any rewards for a long time. My memory might be a little rusty."

"Steve Rogers. Tell me about him."

Shit.

She knows.

Of course she fucking knows! Did you really think she wouldn't?

You're fucked. You're so fucked you don't even know how fucked you are— Oh, shut up!

"I... I'm so sorry. Thanos doesn't like it when I—"

"Thanos isn't the one who's asking you right now."

"I'm sorry. Of course, I—"

"You want to talk to him?"

Bucky's head snaps up. "To Steve? I'm not... allowed, ma'am."

"Says who?"

"Thanos."

"See, I didn't tell you anything like that."

"Lady Hela, he said—"

"Babababa—" She holds one finger up to interrupt him. "I'm telling you to call him."

"You want me to go against orders? Why?"

"I have my reasons to defy the mad titan as much as you do."

"Really?"

She hums.

"So you're saying I won't be punished for it? Despite what he said? You won't tell on me?"

What is going on here? There's no way she—

"I swear it. By my warrior's honor, you have my word."

Bucky's eyes must be round like saucers. Warriors honor is taken seriously on Asgard. Swearing on it is like a contract. An unbreakable oath.

This is a cruel joke. It must be.

"I... can't."

"What do you mean you can't? I allow it."

It's so unfair. To dangle this opportunity in front of him now when he's— when he's not... Bucky has to swallow several times to collect himself. His eyes sting.

"My lady, you don't understand. He doesn't know."

"Know about what?"

"My body. He can't know about it. What Thanos did to it."

He hates how frail his voice sounds. There's static still hanging onto certain frequencies when he speaks loud enough that won't ever let him forget how damaged he is. How...

She leans her head to the side. Contemplating his words and no doubt studying his irregular emotional reaction.

MALFUNCTION. Bucky has to look away from her prying eyes.

"That won't be a problem. I'm a goddess. A miracle worker if your people can be believed."

"With all due respect, ma'am, I'm not a big believer. Thanos said it can't be reversed and I know it can't."

"No, I can't reverse it. For several reasons actually. But I can cloak you."

"Cloak me?"

"Yes. With a spell. An illusion if you will? Completely undetectable. I can give you your voice back with magic, too. For a short time."

Bucky stares at her. Hope flares up hot in his chest like a fire that melts the miserable aching lump in his heart. It sounds like the perfect way out. It sounds... To good to be true.

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful but what do you want for it? There must be something you want."

"Loyalty."

"That's it?"

Bucky prepares for the worst.

She shakes her head. "Think carefully. It's not a small thing. Your absolute loyalty to me could be quite dangerous for you and those you love. If you accept I'll tell you exactly what it entails."

"But not in advance?"

"No."

This is it. The moment it all goes to hell. Bucky doesn't find it in himself to act surprised. It's not a sudden dawning realization. He's seen it from a mile away. She's been working up to this from the first moment she set a foot on the mad titan's ship. He just didn't want to acknowledge it sooner.

"These meetings... You want me to be loyal to you. Only to you. You're planning something to overthrow Thanos, am I right? You've been working on it for a long time."

The ballsy tone and the wide loony smile on his face are completely inappropriate but all his survival tactics seem to have gone right out of the window.

The lady Death smiles eerily. "You're too smart for your own good."

She comes closer slowly, like a cat stalking a mouse and lays a hand on his arm. There's something in her eyes that should tell Bucky to back away and run but he doesn't move an inch.

"Accept my offer. Make the call. Then we'll talk."

After you have implicated yourself.

He swallows hard. "What if I refuse?"

The metal plates creak under the pressure of her grip.

"I'll erase your memory of this conversation and send you back to the mad titan. You'll return to his service immediately. I won't ask for you again."

No! He can't go back. Bucky shudders at the thought of seeing Thanos again but if this goes wrong, if her plain fails, if she looses against him...

There's no clever way to play both sides. He knows that. It's time to make a choice.

This is it.

The voices in his head are screaming.

This is our one chance to see Steve again! You better fucking take it!

No! Don't be stupid!

What are you waiting for?!

This is gonna get you both killed!

She practically said so! She said it!

Are you deaf, soldier?!

"I accept."