Forsaken In My Minds Past

Chapter 6, "Anywhere But Here" ~ Safety Suit

A/N:New stuff in this one, guys…the confrontation between Jake and Edward is MUCH more intense! Check it out! I have to thank my awesome betas of course, THEsnapcrakklepop, Love Of Escapism, and ChristineC23….much love girls! Much fucking love! Thank you to all my loyal readers and reviewers, as well as the newbies! You all make me want to keep writing.

Song Link, Anywhere But Here: .com/watch?v=IzdPeMQSPqM

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters…I, unfortunately, do not. The songs are owned by the respective artists, record labels, etc. and not by me. This concept and story-line, however, are mine…mine, I say! *chuckles* ©2009/2010 WickedCurveBall74/RobsMyEdibleArt, All rights reserved worldwide.

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"Is this the end of a moment,

Or just a beautiful unfolding,

Of a love that will never be

Or maybe be

Everything that I thought could never happen

Or ever come to pass and

I wonder

If maybe, maybe I could be

All you ever dreamed

'cause you are beautiful inside

So lovely and I

Can't see why I'd do anything without you

You are

And when I'm not with you I know that it's true

That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you…."

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All I knew was that I just needed to get the hell away from all this shit…right now.

I was met by Jess after taking a couple wobbly steps, but my eyes were still trained on Edward's. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was physically impossible; I was entranced.

"Hey, Girl," she chirped, almost back to her flighty-self.

"Hey," I responded sheepishly. This whole disastrous night had completely exhausted me.

"Listen, don't take this the wrong way," Jess pleaded, "but Mike and I are going to go. We've got an early morning tomorrow and…anyway, it's probably for the best." She shot a quick glance in Jake's direction, who, at this point had gone back over to hang out with Sam, the one who seemed to have kept a safe distance during the commotion.

"Umm, Jess?" I sighed and ran my good hand through my hair once again, "I was wondering if…err…well, if maybe you and Mike could give me a ride home? I really need to get the hell out of here."

She hesitated, "Well, uh, sure Bella, but, what about your hand?" She stammered as she stared down at my now very swollen and prominently bruised right hand.

I shook my head and grimaced. "It's fine. It'll be fine. I'll put some ice on it when I get home and take some Vicodin or something."

I heard Jess take in a startled breath as I felt a hand on my shoulder. At that same moment, I jumped…not really because it scared me…I was a little startled…but more so because of the jolt of energy that it sent down my torso and through my legs.

"Bella." His voice was like my favorite song. I couldn't stop listening to it.

I turned to face him and tried to hold my breath, willing the pain to just go away. I wanted to be a statue, because if I moved or breathed, he would know that I was in pain. Of course, he would be a fucking doctor and try to fix it. The longer he and I stayed around each other, the more likely that this night would end up in apocalyptic disaster, even worse than it was right now. At this moment, however, I wasn't too sure that was even possible.

I refused to look at him, because I knew that if I did, I would lose all traces of my resolve.

"Bella, I need to look at your hand. Please let me." His voice was pleading, his breath washed over me like fresh rain in the spring. I knew in my heart I couldn't deny him, even though I kept trying.

My stubborn self provided me with one more moment of dignity, as I continued to look away, refusing to give him an answer.

"Bella."

I was silent still.

"Bella," he sighed harshly. "Look at me. I need you to look at me, please."

I mentally inserted "baby" after he said "look at me" the second time and gasped to myself.

God, you're such an idiot, I said to myself internally.

If he had said that to me, I probably would have berated him for being a pompous asshole, but oh how I wanted him to say that to me so badly. Finally, I looked up at him and tried to slow my rapid heart beat.

"Edward," I sighed, "I—I just need to get out of here. I can't deal with this shit anymore.

"I know, sweetie, I know…but that looks pretty bad and I really need to take a closer look."

Well, fuck me if he didn't just call me sweetie. That bastard.

Seemed he was pulling out the big-guns to get me to cooperate. He still fucking knew me too well, which was ridiculous for not seeing someone in a more than a year and literally not talking for, well, years.

I couldn't keep from wondering why. Why was he being so nice? Was he just being a responsible doctor because he had to…or was there more to it? Why was he pushing me so hard to let him check out my hand? I mean, it looked bad, but it wasn't some dire emergency. It wasn't mangled and half falling off or anything. Did he still think about me? Was he still…no, I couldn't let myself go there, not right now, not ever.

Just shut up already, I told myself. I couldn't understand why I continued to entertain these ridiculous thoughts. He was just being a doctor, and a friend. He cared about me, of course he cared about me. That was as far as it went, though, and I seriously needed to get a grip. I wanted to say no. I wanted him away from me. At least I wanted to want him away from me. I'd already taken our little conversation too far and I needed to start worrying about damage control. At that moment, however, I was toast. I knew it as well as he did.

"Fine," I grumbled and meekly nodded my head. I then turned to my friend, embarrassed and irritated with myself. "Jess, I guess I'll just talk to you later."

She smiled at me, but in a sad way and gave me a quick hug around my neck. "Ok, Bella. I'll talk to you later. You'll call me tomorrow, right. Ok, bye!" It wasn't a question, and strangely she seemed a little bit excited about something…I was too annoyed to try to figure out what. I nodded in agreement and she bounced over to Mike as they both turned toward the door.

"OW, shit!" I shrieked. Edward had pressed on the area right beneath my middle finger on the palm of my right hand. Even though I knew he'd done it as gently as he could, it felt like he was shoving needles into my hand, like my bones were splintering. I tried to pull my hand back at the same time, but Edward had a he-man grip on my forearm.

"Oh, fuck, Bella. I'm so sorry!" His voice was impetuous with emotion.

"That fucking hurts like hell," I groaned, my eyes stinging with tears that I didn't want to fall. He sighed and ran his free hand through the bronze chaos on top of his head. This completely distracted me from my pain for a second, and meanwhile, he lightly touched my hand again.

"Agh! Stop it!" I winced. He frowned and looked at me with a touch of distress. Then he ran his hand once again through his untamed, out of control and completely sex, bed head mane, and sighed.

"Bella, I—I think you've broken one of the metacarpals in your hand, but there's no way for me to be completely sure unless I get an x-ray of it."

I gasped, "What? Oh, no, you've got to be kidding me, right? Fuck!" Then I ran my good hand through my now tangled and sweaty hair.

"Bella, I know you don't want to go to the ER, but this is necessary. You need that treated." His eyes were fierce with conviction and completely melting me, my insides turning into fucking butter. This only irritated me further.

"Shit! Fine!"I barked at him and he flashed me that godforsaken crooked smile. I honestly would have given in to literally anything at that moment.

"Alright. See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" He said, smirking as he did so.

"Don't be a smartass, Edward. I'm sonot in the mood for that shit right now."

He pretended to wipe the smirk off his face and chuckled. "Ok, you sit tight, slugger. I'm going to go tell Jackass where we're going."

I snapped my head up, "What? We? You and me? Edward, I don't think that's such a good—"

He held his hand up to stop me. "Okay then, would you rather Jake take you?"

I studied his face for a moment before I realized he was serious. He would step aside, as much as I could tell he didn't want to, if I told him I did want Jake to take me to the hospital.

I shook my head. "No, I don't. He's the reason I'm in this ridiculous situation right now, and quite frankly, I don't even want to talk to him." I spoke through tight lips, "But, what about Jazz or Em?" I asked, my eyes pleading. I just knew what would result from Edward taking me anywhere alone. It was quite possible that the apocalyptic disaster I had predicted just might be inevitable at this point.

"Bella," He sighed. "First of all, those guys have been drinking a lot more than me. Secondly, they wouldn't be able to get you right in to see Carlisle like I can. But, Bella we need to go. His shift will be over in an hour," he stated, matter-of-factly.

I dropped my head and gazed at the floor in defeat. I knew I couldn't argue with him, even though I kept running through scenarios in my mind. Noting my concession, he abruptly turned and stalked off toward Jake.

I could feel bile rising in my throat. As much as I wanted to believe that this was all on Jake tonight, even though he almost knocked Mike completely out (someone he didn't even know) merely for talking to me and greeting me with a overly dramatic and obviously fake kiss on the hand, I couldn't help but feel like this was completely, entirely my fault. I felt that even though he reacted like a crazy person before finding out what was actually going on, and even though I felt in my heart that he was more furious with Edward for talking to me. I knew Jake wished like hell that he could physically over power Edward. I also knew, as well as Jake did, that he couldn't, and this fact drove him over the edge.

I should have ignored his impudent behavior at the concert. I should have just plastered a smile on my face and pretended to be smitten,still, with my husband. I should have ignored Edward. I should have kept myself glued to Jake's hip and stared only at him all night. Why couldn't I just do that? Why couldn't I just be a good wife, ever? A Stepford-wife…a fucking robot…because that's what it would take, apparently, to make him happy.

I knew this was an irrational thought process, but it had become a normal irrational thought process for me. I felt as though I had no identity anymore, other than the guilty party. No matter how nonsensical the situation, I took it on. I guess I'd rather absorb the blame anymore, than fight with him. The latter took too much energy. Bella Swan-Black, the guilty party, at your service. That was who I had become.

"What!" I heard Jake's snarling tone and snapped my head up in the direction of where he and Edward were standing. "You're going to what?" I DON'T THINK SO, MAN! Have you totally lost your mind?"

I noticed that Edward was shaking his head from side-to-side, glaring at Jake in complete annoyance. Emmet and Jasper had taken a protective stance on each side of Jake and Edward, and Sam had placed a wary hand on Jake's shoulder.

They all knew the potential outcome of an altercation between those two. Jake would put up a good fight. Even if he didn't prevail, he would be hard to take down by anyone, based merely on his massive size. He would be hard to take down, that is, unless you were Edward Cullen…a step down from Grand-fucking-Master in Japanese Jiu-Jitsu, who could probably take down fucking Godzilla with one spinning round-house kick to the head.

Edward responded with a hiss, his voice dripping with venom.

"No, unlike someone else, I haven't fucking lost my mind tonight, man! Her fucking hand is broken, no-fucking-thanks to you, and I'm taking her to the hospital so Carlisle and I can take care of it!"

Jake emitted a low growl and I could see his nostrils flaring. Suddenly, I heard Sam's calm, authoritative voice, the only cop out of the group. "Calm down, Jake. Take it easy, both of you. I don't want to have to haul either one of you in tonight."

Jake and Edward continued to glower at one another and Jake gestured in a swiping motion, stating matter-of-factly,

"No way. HELL no. You are not taking my wife anywhere. I won't allow it!"

Edward smirked and pointed a finger in Jacob's direction, "Dude, I didn't come over here to ask your fucking permission. I came over here to tell you what's about to happen. She's injured. I can get her in quicker than you or anybody else, and besides that she doesn't even want to fucking talk to you, let alone ride in a car with you so that you can berate her the entire way there, and tell her what a fucking terrible person she is. She already feels like this is all her fault because of your bullshit and it's just not!"

He turned to talk away, but abruptly turned back again, "You know what Jake, maybe that's your problem. Maybe if you treated her like the blessing that she is to you, instead of your mother-fucking property, just maybe you wouldn't find yourself in such precarious situations. I could be so fucking lucky. You have a beautiful, smart, good-hearted, strong-willed girl right there that you can't even drop your fucking ego for five-fucking-minutes to appreciate her. You're acting like such a fucking idiot!"

With that, he turned toward me, but abruptly turned back upon Jake's snarling response. "Well, it certainly didn't take you very long to not appreciate her, did it, Edward!" Jake followed this with a menacing chuckle, "What was it? A year? Less, maybe, for you to screw a prostitute behind her back?" Then he growled, "I've loved her a lot longer than you!"

Edward charged toward Jacob and Jasper moved his own body in front of him, trying to push him backward as Edward screamed, "YOU LOVE HER, JAKE? Is that right? That's where you want to take this, you mother-fucking PRICK!" He was still charging; Jasper was still shielding as Edward pointed and hissed at Jake. "You've got NO RIGHT to talk about what I did! You don't even know what love is! You fucking love her when it suits your fucking PURPOSE, Jake! All you've ever been was a little boy who was infatuated with her, so fuck you!" He spat, but continued, "You have no idea how I feel. No idea! Besides that, motherfucker, my feelings are none of your business!"

I physically had to shove my jaw back up to close my mouth, which- by the way- had fallen open in disbelief from what I had heard just come out of Edward's mouth. I was stunned that he could still say I was beautiful. Next to Rosalie, I felt like a troll. I couldn't believe how he went completely off on Jacob. Motherfucker is right, I thought to myself. He deserved it. For a split second, a smile played at the corner of my mouth…

That is, until I saw Jacob lunge at Edward.

It all happened in a matter of seconds that felt like hours. It felt like slow motion as I watched in utter horror.

"Jacob, stop it!" I screamed, but he was too far gone.

Instantly, Emmett grabbed him around the waist, his arms flailing, trying to get at Edward. Sam struggled to grab his massive arms, which were more like small tree trunks, if you will. At the same time, Edward turned and immediately took a defensive stance. Jazz turned to face Edward and touched his chest, shaking his head and shooting him a worried glance.

That sobered them all up pretty damned quickly.

Edward paid no attention and continued to glare at Jake, showing his teeth as he seethed.

Emmett, who had a hold of Jake, spoke slowly and rhythmically.

"Jake…dude, take a breath man. Take a breath. You know this is a very bad idea. A very very bad idea. We don't need to see who has the biggest cock right now, Dude, so just fucking let him take her to the hospital and get her hand taken care of. No matter what happened or happens, Jake, Bells is hurtand she needs to go. Sam, Jazz, and me…we have all had a little too much to drink to be fucking around out on the road and Edward can get her right in. Come on, Dude, just chill the fuck out…for all of us."

They were all standing not ten feet from me, so I could hear everything that was being said. Jake's breathing slowed and he looked at Emmett, his irritation melting into confusion. He then looked over at me, his brown eyes full of conflicted sorrow, then at my hand, which I was still cradling with my left, and back to me.

He grimaced slightly and started shaking his head. He looked at Edward, this time, emotionless, nodded once and turned away.

Edward laid a hand on Jasper's shoulder and spoke in a low murmur, "I'm ok, Man, just…try and make sure he doesn't attempt to fucking kill someone because he's pissed at me." Jazz nodded his head and Edward turned toward me.

The adulation in his expression was overwhelming as his eyes swept over me, sending a wave of warmth through my frozen body. He advanced toward me deliberately, reaching out and brushing his fingertips along the back of my left arm. I shivered; not from the cold, but from emotion that was slowly taking hold of me again.

My mind began to reel with the preceding events and I wondered to myself just how far I was going to let this go. If there even was a "this." I kept eye contact with him and as he brushed my arm with his electric touch, his perfect jaw tightened…now sharper than ever and I saw the muscles flex in his cheeks.

"Let's go," he murmured. His voice was barely audible; his eyes then shifted and fixed on the door. I turned with him and willed my legs to move, one in front of the other. My gait felt unsteady as I meandered along with Edward, toward the outside.

As I looked up at him, his expression had changed to one of disdain. I knew in that moment, that the previous conflict between Jacob and Edward was now an open, festering abscess that would not be healed easily or quickly, if ever, and that the friendship they'd built back up was all but fucked.

I let out a deep sigh as a fresh wave of guilt washed over me and I choked back the stinging tears that threatened to show themselves on my cheeks. I chewed on my lower lip to still it from the mutinous tremble that was fighting my teeth. I couldn't even make myself look behind me to meet the desolate brown eyes that I knew were raging.

As I followed Edward's lead out into the crisp November Chicago air, I threw the iron doors open to my past…exposing the burning hole of fire and ice that now gaped in my empty chest.

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A/N: Oh snap! Yes, she did just leave with Edward. By the way, who do you think would've won that fight? Reviews get you a long car ride to the hospital with Docward! Get on it, people. ;-P Ok, Edward's pov is next…he's kind of a self-loathing mofo. Maybe he'll get a little sympathy? We'll see!