SHAWN

Just out of curiosity, have you ever been hit full on by a freight-train, dropped from a second floor balcony straight on your head, and then thrown without food or water into a seeming endless, black abyss to be taunted by a hallucination of your should-have-been girlfriend?

On the off chance that the answer is yes, you'll know exactly, spot-on how I felt the next time I woke up. Like, with crazy precision.

When I came to, after waking up from my most recent pass out, (I've come to the conclusion that there's no manly way to say that) I was alone. Jules, well, the girl who was being kidnapped that I thought was Jules, was nowhere to been seen.

But I could hear her—Fake Jules, that is.

Yeah, I know. Like I didn't seem crazy enough already, right? Don't blame me, it's part of the whole, 'Dropped from a second floor balcony straight on your head' thing. Or, I guess, in my case, part of the whole, 'Shot in the stomach by a couple of trigger-happy assholes' thing.

"Why don't you just go ahead and die already?" I heard her ask. Her voice was as flat and uncaring as it was in the van.

The question was like a punch in the face. It was almost as painful as the hole in my midsection.

Almost. That pain was so intense and all consuming that a teeny part of me was kind of wondering the same thing.

"But if I did that we wouldn't be able to have this lovely conversation," I replied. I can't say whether it was out loud or not, but, judging by the way I was almost incapable of keeping my eyes open, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that my little, psychotic breakdown was all in my head.

"This isn't funny, Shawn. I'm not kidding. Why don't you just die? It's not like anyone will care." She spat.

Now, don't forget that my mother is a psychologist. Meaning I understand the deep, contained emotions and all that crap that brought about my little episode.

But let's not dwell on that.

In my haze I couldn't think of any way, witty or otherwise, to respond to Fake Jules. Instead I chose to try and ignore her and survey my surroundings. It was more of myself looking for a distraction than a way out—I hardly think I was coherent enough to really do anything to save myself at that point.

It seemed to me that I was in a heavily wooded area. I could tell that by…well…by the trees… Oh, come on. I wasn't that out of it. But lying there, tucked up against the roots of some massive tree with an unnatural crater in my body reminded me all too well of a similar situation from my past. Anyways, upon further inspection I realized that the trees were very closely packed together, and I couldn't see, hear, smell, taste, or feel any sort of civilization around me. Vaguely I remember having this sort of epiphany in the form of a flashback from my first visit to the lovely continent that is Canada.

"Come on, Shawn! We have to make plans for what we're going to do! If we don't, we won't be able to make reservations. If we don't make reservations, it's going to be like that time we showed up to play Laser Tag without one and we ended up playing with twenty-four six year olds."

"Oh, come on, man! You know if we had made reservations we would've ended up with college kids! And if that happened, there's no way we'd have placed sixteenth and nineteenth!"

"Not the point, Shawn. The point is that there are so many things we can do, and we won't enjoy any of them unless we plan ahead. Look, do you see how many parks and reservations there are? We should go to one."

The first thing that this little flashback told me was to never let Gus plan a vacation that I intended to attend. Second of all, it made me think that there was a good chance I was on one of said 'parks' or 'reservations'. I sort of hoped I was on a reservation for like Ligers or something cool like that. They have those in Canada, right?

Not that any of this really mattered. In the back of my mind I realized as I lay there that I was completely stuck inside my own head. I hadn't even tried sitting up. So I, being the perseverant man that I am, decided to rectify that situation.

Now, out in those woods I'd lost basically all perception of time—at this point I could've been out there for five minutes or five days, I had no idea—but I can tell you that it probably took at least a good three minutes for me to move a finger. Not only was I in unimaginable pain, but I was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, and about forty-five percent of the blood from my body was on the ground beside me.

At least I had Fake Jules to cheer me on.

"Why are you even trying? It's no use. You're just going to die out here. Alone."

"Well, you're here, aren't you? I'm in pleasant company." I sneered sarcastically.

There was no response, but I didn't mind that too much.

Somehow, I eventually managed to move my arms to my sides so that I could push myself up into more of a sitting position against the tree next to me. I tried my best to mentally prepare myself before I moved. I counted out loud, well, I think I did…

"One…two…three!"

Agony.

Pure pain shot through my body, starting at my stomach and then spreading out in every direction to touch every part of me. I screamed (this I definitely know was out loud) and my muscles all involuntarily weakened and gave out, sending me slumping back into my starting position, before they started to spasm.

Slowly the world faded to black around me, but I'm not sure whether it was because so much time had passed that night was falling again, or that my body was finally giving in to Fake Jules' demands.

OooOooO

Oooh. Intense. So it up, whumpers, because I don't think there'll be another Shawn chappie for a while. Next up is probably Lassie/Gus.

Thanks so much to everyone for reading, reviewing, and being patient with this story. I'm doing my best, guys, and thanks for being so awesome :D

That being said, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks so much! :D

ALSO, GUYS, A MATTER OF SEMI-BIG IMPORTANCE-That new story I've been teasing for like, forever, has been published! The one that's co-written with the fantastic Syncop8ed Rhythm. It's called "Collateral Damage" and it's under the name of Psydekicks. Here's the link to our profile! I'd really appreciate it if you checked it out! :D

.net/u/2693110/Psydekicks