Title: Shadows and Regrets
PART EIGHT
"Spike! What are...how did you get here? The sun's still out," said Xander.
"Bugger the sun, when the need arises I have my ways," responded Spike.
"Oh, so that isn't your new cologne but the faint hint of sewer that I smell?" questioned Xander.
Xander stood in his doorway, not moving. Anya appeared and smiled at Spike over his shoulder.
"Well?" said Spike.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" asked Spike, rolling his eyes.
"No," answered both Xander and Anya at the same time.
"Not that we fear you," added Anya.
"We just find you annoying. And much less annoying if you can't come in," said Xander.
"Actually, I just didn't want him to get anything on the carpet," said Anya, wrinkling her nose and looking down at his shoes.
"Fine. I'll just say what I have to say and be on my way then," glared Spike.
They both stared at him and waited patiently. Spike scowled in return.
"It's time the Scoobies start worrying about Giles."
"Start? Spike, what are you talking about? Sure, Buffy's death hit him hard but he's dealing. Probably better than any of us," said Xander. Anya nodded in agreement.
"Oh really? Then why did he try to dig up her grave the other night?"
Xander stared at him, the color fading from his face.
"What?" whispered Xander.
"The man's holding on by a thread, people. The Council wants him out. Wake up and smell the Watcher!"
"Okay, disturbing visual aside...why do you care?" asked Xander.
"Why do I...bloody hell! You think I don't care?" snapped Spike.
"About Giles? No. You cared about Buffy. That much we got. Where's all this sudden insight coming from anyhow?" asked Xander.
"Pat's back in town. Says the Council boys are turning up the heat, just waiting for him to boil over. They need an excuse, on paper anyway, to remove him."
"Remove him why? So that she can waltz in here and take over? And what's Faith going to do?" asked Anya.
"That's the whole point, they don't trust Faith. But Pat wants nothing to do with it. She likes Faith and knows that Sunnydale is her town," said Spike.
"Right. That's why she's back here, because she doesn't want to be here. How convenient for her, then, if Giles quits or is fired. Our little Slayer will be in the right place at the wrong time to take over," glared Xander.
"Well, think about it. To a Slayer, Sunnydale must be like Disneyland. It has the best rides. Bet she's jealous of Faith having all the fun," nodded Anya knowingly.
"Fun! You think Faith's having fun?" asked Spike, astonished.
"And why did I say waltz? No one waltzes anymore," sighed Anya distractedly. "Never did like them anyway. All one, two, three, one, two, three. Boring!"
Xander raised one eyebrow at Anya.
"Thanks for the message, Spike. We'll add a grain of salt or two and keep it in mind," smiled Xander sarcastically. He shut the door in Spike's face.
"Fine! Be that way! Can't say as I didn't try to warn you!" shouted Spike. He threw his arms up in the air and stormed off.
"You believe him?" asked Anya.
"No. Giles has been through a lot. He'll be fine. We all will...eventually," said Xander, giving Anya a hug.
"So Pat's back," commented Anya. "Think she wants the job here?"
"Don't know, don't care," sighed Xander. "She didn't want it before...when it would've mattered if she was here."
"Maybe it's just fate or chance that she's here. Maybe she really doesn't want to take over for Faith."
"Huh?" muttered Xander.
"Well, there's something to be said about being in the right place at the wrong time. I mean, think about it. If the Beach Boys had been born in, oh, say Jamaica instead of southern California, we'd all be singing 'hep me, Rhonda, hep me" instead of help me," grinned Anya. Xander leaned back and looked at her.
"Your logic scares me at times. But that's why I love you," smiled Xander.
"Aw. Thanks. I think," answered Anya.
*****
Hearing a knock at the front door, Dawn pushed her sketch pad aside and got up from the kitchen table, reaching for her sunglasses as she did. She walked over and opened the door.
"Hey," offered Pat, immediately, and obviously, uncomfortable. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Pat?" said Dawn, as if she didn't know who this person was and had tried to match a name to an unfamiliar face. She glanced over her shoulder and then came outside, shutting the door behind her.
"Pat," repeated Dawn, this time more confidently. "Well, this is..."
"Awkward," finished Pat, seeing Dawn trying to find the right word.
"Um, do you want Faith? 'Cause she's still sleeping, it being daylight and all," said Dawn, trying to smile.
"No. Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Is Giles here?"
"Not yet. Do you want to come in and wait for him?" asked Dawn.
Pat was surprised at the offer and smiled appreciatively.
"No. But thanks. I'll just say what I needed to say and leave. See, I know Giles has been, well, not himself lately. And that's understandable, you know? What with Buffy..."
Pat glanced at Dawn but her expression didn't change. At all. And that threw Pat for a moment.
"Okay, long story short. The Council wants Giles to retire but he wants to stay. Because of Faith. I don't have to tell you that the Council doesn't take no for an answer. So..."
Again Pat looked at Dawn. She was listening, of course, but it seemed as if she was bored.
"What I'm trying to say is that they might do things to make him quit. Like upset him, or, or push him so that the pressure of the job gets to him. Thing is, I don't know what they'll do. But I know what they're capable of doing. You need to tell him."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why do they want him out?" asked Dawn matter of factly.
"Oh. You mean, besides the fact that he lost his Slayer? They don't trust Faith."
"Who does?" frowned Dawn.
"What?"
"Nothing," said Dawn, shaking her head. "So they want you here."
"Yeah. But it's not what I want. It's not right."
"So why not tell Giles yourself?" asked Dawn.
Pat hesitated, her eyebrows squeezing together.
"Just thought he'd listen to you. You're her sister. You, more than anyone else, you can reach him. And, well...I think I've let him down. I shoulda been there, you know? Dawn, I'm sorry. It can't mean much to you, but...I'm so sorry," sighed Pat, looking down.
"Thanks. It's, it's a little easier now. And I'll tell Giles. Don't know if it'll help. He hasn't been himself lately, ya know?" shrugged Dawn. Pat nodded but didn't look up.
"Oh, hey, um, Faith wants to meet you later tonight. About an hour past sunset."
"Where?"
"Uh...that place you met the other night. You know," hinted Dawn, encouraging Pat to answer for her.
"Oh. Down by the lake."
"Yeah. The lake. That's it," nodded Dawn. "I'll tell Giles what you said, okay?"
"Thanks," smiled Pat, picking up the hint that this conversation was over. "Guess I'll be on my way."
"It was good seeing you again," smiled Dawn.
Pat stared at her for a moment, quite surprised.
"Really? The last time we met...well, it got a little ugly there for a while," cringed Pat.
"Oh. Um...hey, it was just too soon, ya know? To her death, I mean," frowned Dawn.
"Yeah. Guess so. Be seeing you," said Pat, turning to go. She glanced back once over her shoulder, a puzzled look on her face. And then she was gone.
Dawn took her sunglasses off and smiled. Her eyes were completely black.
*****
Faith opened her eyes and reached out across the bed but then remembered where she was. He wasn't here. She got up and moved quickly to the window, placing her hand against the shade. It was warm, heated on the other side by the sun. Faith left her hand there, letting that warmth creep into her skin, hungry for its touch. She let her fingers drift down, brushing against the coarseness of the shade, reluctant to break the connection to something she could never have again.
Faith quickly got dressed and didn't bother to make the bed. Unlocking her door she stepped into the hall and nearly bumped into Willow.
"Oh, hey. I was just coming to get you," said Faith.
"Why?" asked Willow.
"Uh, come on in here, okay?"
Faith didn't wait for an answer. She pulled Willlow into the bedroom and, looking up and down the hall once, shut the door.
"What's up?" asked Willow.
"Well, first, I need you to do me a favor. Pat's back in town."
"Really," sighed Willow.
"Yeah," nodded Faith, ignoring her reaction. "Giles said she was staying at the motel out by the airport but she told me she was staying in that dump at the edge of town. The one I stayed at...before."
"I know the place," nodded Willow.
"So, could you access their guest books and tell me where she's staying? Quentin Travers is probably with her and they might both be using an alias."
"Sure. It'll only take a few minutes. Though I'm not sure your old haunt even has a computer."
"Oh, right. Damn!" frowned Faith.
"I'll just call there and ask," smiled Willow. "Why do you care where she's staying?"
"I don't. I'll only care if she's lying to me."
"Gotcha. I think," added Willow, screwing up her face. "So, is that it?"
"Um, no. We...we need to talk," said Faith.
"I did say I was sorry about seeing if you could fly or not," pouted Willow.
"No, it's not that."
Faith hesitated and Willow knowingly sighed.
"I heard her voice, Faith, even if you didn't. And she knew us."
"So that's it? You completely trust this, this...ghost? You sure you dialed the right number here Will? This is a very long distance call," said Faith.
"It's her. I know it," said Willow, though she looked away from Faith's gaze.
"You want it to be. And I'm on board with that. Hell, I hope it is her. I do," said Faith, softening her tone. Willow raised her eyes to meet hers again. "But what if it isn't?"
Willow chewed on her lower lip and put her hands on her hips.
"Then I guess we'll find out, won't we?" answered Willow. She turned to go but Faith grabbed her arm.
"Buffy wouldn't be afraid of me!"
Willow twisted her arm free.
"No, but she sure had a reason or two to be pissed, right?" yelled Willow.
"That's not fair. We worked things out, remember?" reminded Faith.
"Maybe. Maybe not," shot back Willow, causing Faith to flinch. Willow turned and grabbed the door handle.
"Red, listen to me!," screamed Faith.
Willow spun around, stunned. Faith hadn't called her that since...
"Just...listen, damn it!"
Willow stared at Faith, determined not to show her how that name had hurt. And to not think about why she suddenly cared that it did.
"I need you to hear me out, to hear what I have to say with your head, not with your heart. I wouldn't...Willow, I would never hurt you. You know that, don't you? Not after what we..."
Willow's hand moved up and touched the scar on her neck. She didn't look at Faith.
"Um, you can use your heart for that one, okay?," smiled Faith.
Willow looked up and Faith caught a hint of a smile, however brief.
"Go on," said Willow, lowering her hand.
"Alright. Maybe this is Buffy, maybe it isn't," started Faith, holding up a hand to silence Willow's protest. "If it is Buffy then nothing we do will harm her, right? Can't hurt a ghost."
"I guess," agreed Willow reluctantly. "Might upset her, but...sorry, go on."
"Good. But if it isn't Buffy, then we're dealing with a ghost or, or a demon, or who the hell knows what? What is this thing most likely after?"
"Um, well..."
"Come on, Willow, think. It probably wants a way back, maybe by taking over someone's body. That's a possibility, right?," encouraged Faith.
"Sure," sighed Willow. "But only one."
"Willow, with your head, not your heart, remember?," smiled Faith.
Willow nodded. Faith stepped over to her and put both hands on Willow's shoulders.
"This thing, if it's not Buffy, could hurt Dawn. Could kill her. We just don't know. Buffy would die before she would allow anything to happen to Dawn. And so would I."
Willow became rigid at hearing those words.
"That's right. Buffy did die to protect her. So what does she want with Dawn? Why Dawn...unless this spook playing on your emotions?" asked Faith gently.
Willow inhaled slowly, doubt obvious on her face. Faith smiled again.
"If it's not Buffy we won't hurt her," repeated Faith. "And we'd be protecting Dawn. Buffy would understand that, she would feel our intentions."
Willow nodded.
"So, how do we fight this thing? Find out where this ghost is buried maybe?"
Willow almost smiled again.
"Yeah. You have to purify the corpse, assuming you can find the grave," replied Willow.
"Good," nodded Faith. "And how do we do that?"
"With holy water," explained Willow as if she thought Faith should have known the answer.
"Oh," winced Faith, dropping her arms to her side.
"Or fire," added Willow optimistically.
"Two of my favorite things. I feel like breaking into a song from the Sound of Music," frowned Faith. "So, how do we find the grave?"
"I have no idea," shrugged Willow, somewhat embarrassed.
Faith ran a hand over her face, holding it over her chin and gaping at Willow in frustration.
*****
Giles leaned forward, placing a hand to either side of the sink as he looked out the kitchen window. He sighed to himself, knowing he couldn't hurry the sundown simply because he wished it so. Though it was quiet now it was far from peaceful. He was far from peaceful.
Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a silver flask and twisted off the top. Holding it out, staring at the shiny metal, he was tempted if only briefly to dump the contents into the sink. He hand trembled just enough to remind him how foolish that thought was. Giles tilted his head back and choked down a mouthful of the warm liquid, wincing as it burned his throat.
"Giles."
Giles coughed and dropped the flask. It bounced into the sink, clanging loudly. He spun around, eyes wide open.
"Oh, it's you. I'm, I'm sorry Dawn. For a minute there...I, I thought I heard Buffy's voice," smiled Giles apologetically.
"You did."
Giles froze. It was her voice. Dawn looked at him, calm and unconcerned yet unsmiling.
"Buffy?" whispered Giles, his voice aching with hope.
Dawn's lips curled upward, hinting at a smile. She nodded her head once.
"B-but, but how?"
"I told you, I'm already here. And I wanted to talk to you. Alone."
Giles stood just a little more erect and tilted his head slightly towards Dawn.
"Dawn...um, I mean Buffy...show me your eyes."
Dawn hesitated but the leaned forward and slipped her sunglasses down to the end of her nose. Just as before, her eyes were completely black. She pushed them back to the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"You don't believe that it's me," said Dawn.
"I didn't say that. I'm only..."
"Thinking of Dawn," finished Dawn. And then she smiled. "You always had the best instincts when it came to protecting the people you loved, Giles."
Giles seemed a little uncomfortable but he didn't smile at the compliment and he didn't take his eyes off of Dawn. Instead of getting used to hearing Buffy's voice eminating from Dawn he was beginning to find it most disturbing.
"So, guess I should prove to you who I am. Like...like when you were a demon and I didn't know who you were. Or, or better yet, like when Faith was in my body," said Dawn excitedly, "and I had to tell you things so that you would know..."
Dawn trailed off and looked down at the floor, lost in thought. And then she smiled yet again.
"Giles, a long time ago you asked me where a corkscrew earring could dangle from and you were more than a little embarrassed when I told you," grinned Dawn.
Giles' lips parted and his mouth opened just so slightly. He was staring at her now, eyes begging her to continue, wanting so desperately not to believe her but to believe in her, that this was possible. Dawn closed the few steps that were open between them and reached out, tracing a finger gently across the back of his hand.
"To touch something. Such a simple gesture, so easily taken for granted. I'm already forgetting, Giles. But, but I guess you can't understand, can you?" she winced.
"Buffy," whispered Giles.
"Giles, you don't blame yourself. Deep down, you know that. No, it wasn't your fault. Wouldn't it be easier for you to just say what you've been thinking all along? Even now I can feel it, this, this rage. You want to scream it, let everyone know the truth...but you don't dare. You're still protecting them, aren't you?"
"Buffy, please...don't. I believe it's you. I do. Just don't..."
"Giles, say it. You're mad at me. You know it wasn't your fault. All my talk of despair, of, of asking what it all means, of questioning why I even bothered to..."
"Buffy!" shouted Giles, gripping her by the shoulders. "It doesn't matter any more. You're..."
"Dead. Hey, obvious much?" She ignored him as he flinched. "Giles, just say it. It wasn't a sacrfice. It was..."
"No," whispered Giles, shaking his head. His face tightened as he fought for control, forcing back the tears. "Buffy, it wasn't a suicide, you didn't kill yourself...you didn't. Because if you did, then I failed you more...more than you can ever forgive me."
Giles winced and kept his eyes closed. His body shook as he gave in, letting go as he had so needed to, no longer having to be strong for the others. Dawn spread her arms around him and pulled him close, rubbing his back. For a moment, with his eyes closed, it was easy to imagine that it was Buffy that was holding him now. But he had held his Slayer many times before and Dawn's smaller body against his felt...wrong somehow. It was he who provided comfort, not the one who sought it out.
He gently tried to pull away but Dawn held onto him fiercely.
"Giles...I did what had to be done, nothing more. There's nothing to be angry at. Dawn is alive...and that's all that mattered to me," said Dawn, turning her face against his chest. She let go of him with one arm and pulled off the sunglasses to look up at him. Her eyes held no tears.
"I'm sorry, but I had to let you know it was me. I had to make you believe. Don't cry, Giles. I'm not in pain," said Dawn, touching his cheek. Giles pressed against her hand.
"I miss you," he mouthed, barely saying the words.
"I know," nodded Dawn.
He closed his eyes again, crying freely. Dawn eased away from him but held both his hands in hers.
"Giles, there's something you need to know. About...about Faith."
That last word hung in the air between them ghostlike, a shadow taken form.
*****
Still as a breath, no more conspicuous than a shadow, waiting. Pat didn't need to see to understand so she closed her eyes, trusting what she heard and the scents brought to her by the gentle night breeze. Eyes could deceive; best to trust your most primal senses. She could hunt like this for hours, motionless, the thrill of the chase replaced by the anticpation, the deep, lingering satisfaction of knowing she had caused fear in one of them. The Slayer only opened her eyes to experience the shock on the vampire's face when it knew what had waited for it.
And she smiled every time.
Alone. Always alone. When Faith had trained her the older Slayer constantly warned Pat about the isolation and the dangers it would bring. But friends were few and even farther between. Pat had quickly learned to embrace the solitude, had sought it out willingly. And had grown to trust in it.
Nearby a branch was brushed against, almost unnoticed even to Pat. Almost. Her eyes did open now but only because there was a chance, however slim, that what was creeping towards her might be Faith. That it was a vampire Pat had no doubt. She also knew that it could hear her heartbeat.
It emerged from the woods. Pat tried not to smile. The vampire did smile.
Quickly bending down to pick up a rock the size of her fist, Pat turned and faced the vampire, now only a few feet away. He shook his head and laughed.
"That won't help you, little girl."
With an underhand toss, Pat flung the rock high into the air above them. Confused, the vampire looked up at it. He felt the stake enter his chest but never saw it.
Pat shook the ash from her forearm and sighed.
"When they're that stupid it just isn't as much fun," she complained, shaking her head. She pocketed the stake and turned towards the lake. And froze.
A little girl was standing there in front of her, not an arm's reach away. Instinct made Pat jump into a defensive stance, hands raised. Her eyes were wide open as she wondered how this girl had been able to get this close to her. The girl, no more than eight or nine, didn't move. Pat lowered her fists ever so slowly.
"Who are you?" challenged Pat.
The girl only stared at her. And a moment later Pat realized the breeze she felt on her face should've been moving this girl's long brown hair. But it wasn't. Pat took a step back, tilting her head slightly and lowering her arms. The girl smiled.
And then she simply faded away.
Pat staggered back until she bumped into the smooth trunk of the tree behind her. Moving her eyes but not her head, Pat sought out any movement in the woods around her, listened intently to the night. But she was alone.
Pat turned and ran.
*****
Tara sat with Dawn on her bed. Xander and Anya stood by the closet. He slipped his hand into hers and she flashed him a grateful smile. Giles paced by the window, occassionally glancing out into the night. He had seen Spike out there earlier but the street was empty now. Faith sat by the door with her back to the wall, not looking at anyone. No one looked at her.
Willow entered the room and Faith looked up expectantly.
"Neither of them are registered at the airport motel. Finally got someone to pick up the phone at the other place. We haggled a bit but the owner finally fessed up that a girl matching Pat's description was staying there," nodded Willow.
"How'd ya get him to fess up?" asked Faith, impressed.
"Oh, I just mentioned something about the local police being interested in investigating a report of underage prostitution," smiled Willow.
"Thanks," laughed Faith. Willow frowned.
"So she didn't lie to you," said Willow.
"Looks like," said Faith, puzzled.
Willow walked over and sat down on the bed with Dawn between her and Tara.
"You feel okay?" asked Willow. Dawn bravely nodded.
The room became silent, the only sound the ticking of a clock.
"Dawn, I don't remember you having a clock that ticked," said Tara.
"Oh, um, I brought it. From the shop," explained Giles, nodding towards the dresser where it sat. "Not really sure why. It just...seemed like the thing to do."
"Buffy liked that clock," said Dawn.
"What? Really?" asked Giles.
"Yeah," smiled Dawn. "Liked the sound it made when she was all alone there, just...listening to it. Somehow it belonged there, you know?"
Faith stared at the clock, lost in her own thoughts. Looking away, she noticed that Dawn was staring at her. And she still wore her sunglasses. Puzzled, Faith looked away.
"Okay, I hate to bring this up, but will Buffy show up if, if Faith is here?" asked Anya, cringing.
"I'm not leaving. Buffy has no reason to be afraid of me," said Faith calmly.
"Oh, I didn't mean that you should leave," replied Anya quickly. "It's just, well, what exactly is going to happen?"
"I'm not sure," shrugged Willow. "But she'll show. She said she would."
"She will," said Dawn.
The room became very quiet again. It took a moment for Faith to realize that everyone was looking at Dawn. She slowly got to her feet. Dawn stood up as well.
"They hear Buffy's voice, don't they?" asked Faith, not taking her eyes from Dawn.
"Yes. Look, I don't understand the rules. This just...is," shrugged Dawn. "Maybe because you're dead...I don't know. Faith, Giles believes me. And I think Willow does. Let me show you."
"Show me what?" asked Faith suspiciously. Dawn took off her sunglasses.
"Buffy? Are you, um, in pain? Where you are, I mean," said Xander.
"No. But I shouldn't be here. And I can't stay. There's something I need you to do."
"What?" asked Willow.
"In a minute. First I need to leave Dawn. It's the only way she'll be able to see me," said Dawn.
"We're not seeing you now," replied Faith. Dawn smiled.
"Oh, you mean you need to, um, occupy one of us? You can use me," offered Willow happily. Dawn sat back down on the bed.
"No, that's not what I mean. Faith, turn off the light. Tara, after it's dark, light that candle behind us, okay?" asked Dawn.
Tara looked to Giles for approval.
"It's okay, Tara. If there's trouble Faith can see in the dark. And this won't take long," smiled Giles.
Faith shot Giles a puzzled look but reached up on the wall behind her and pulled the switch downwards. A moment later came the sound of a match being lit. The single candle lit the room well. Dawn was now lying on the bed, eyes closed. Everyone stared at her but nothing happened. Everyone but Faith. She focused on a shadow in the corner of the room by the closet. One by one the others noticed and turned to look as Faith slowly took a couple of steps forward.
The shadow took a step forward, wearing a white top and gray pants. The same clothes she had died in.
"Hey."
Buffy slowly looked around, smiling and yet seeming embarrassed. Focusing on Faith, she grinned as Faith's mouth dropped open.
"Buffy?" whispered Faith.
Buffy nodded.
"You hear my voice now, Faith?" she asked.
And now Faith nodded. Dawn stirred and quickly opened her eyes, bounding up into a sitting position. Though her eyes were once again red, she seemed fine.
"Buffy?"
Dawn jumped up and ran to Buffy.
"Um, Dawn, don't..."
Dawn tried to hug her sister but her arms passed right through her. She took a step back, staring.
"Sorry," shrugged Buffy. "There's nothing here to hold onto. I needed the light low because it hurts my eyes. And the less light there is, the more solid I seem to you."
"How...how did you know that?" asked Tara. Again Buffy shrugged.
"I don't know. Guys, it's me. I don't know what else I can do to prove it."
Buffy looked at Dawn and smiled.
"Dawn, don't cry. I know you're doing okay. I feel it."
Dawn wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
"How long can you stay?" asked Dawn hesitantly.
"I'm not sure. Tonight, maybe tomorrow night. After that...I just don't know. And only here and...and the place I died. That was one of the tradeoffs of not using you. But you can see me now, Dawn."
"Can you use another host? To stay longer?" asked Xander.
"I don't want to," sighed Buffy.
"Oh," winced Xander.
"What did you want us to do?" asked Willow.
"There's a field. I'm not sure where it is, but I know six people were killed and buried there. No one knows. Well, I know. But their families..."
"We get it," smiled Willow. "Still thinking of others first, even where...well..."
"I guess," nodded Buffy. "I know this place but, but I can't remember where it is. It's hard to explain. Oh, there's a beech tree, and a pond or maybe a lake."
"A beech tree. I don't even know what one looks like," frowned Xander.
"I do," said Faith. Everyone looked over at her but she kept her eyes on Buffy.
"They're very common in Boston, all of New England. Only one I know of around here is down by the lake in Miller's Woods. Buffy, why were you frightened of me before? I, I don't get it," said Faith.
Buffy smiled. The candle behind her flickered and to Faith the room suddenly seemed colder. Even the others seemed to notice. Anya rubbed her arms.
"I wasn't frightened of you, Faith, but for you."
"Huh?" answered Faith, narrowing her eyes.
"Faith. You always liked hearing the sound of your own name, didn't you?" nodded Buffy.
"What? B, what are you talking about?" asked Faith, aware that everyone in the room suddenly seemed to find something else to look at besides her or Buffy.
"Faith...I'm dead. Oh, not like you. I mean, I'm gone, you know? It's a big deal. You get a different...perspective on things."
"I hear ya," nodded Faith, not taking her eyes from her, as if she would blink and Buffy would disappear.
Buffy smiled. And her smile became a laugh.
"No, you don't. See, it's like this. I know what's waiting for you. There is no redemption, Faith. Not for you. The cards have already been dealt. You came up short."
Faith bit her lower lip. Though she stared even more desperately at Buffy, her resolve was shaken. She swallowed to try to keep from shaking.
"Maybe...maybe you'll understand it this way. If God won't forgive you for what you've done, well...why the hell should I?" smiled Buffy coldly.
Faith's mouth dropped open. It took her a second or two but she shook her head in denial, in disbelief.
"B...please, how can you..."
Faith's weak protest was shattered by Buffy's laughter. She shook her head sadly at the distraught girl.
"What you had...what you've lost! Such a waste. Even now you make me sick to my stomach. Just...leave already," sighed Buffy.
Faith looked down, not focusing on anything. Tears ran down her cheeks but she made no effort to wipe them away or to hide her face. Backing up slowly she bumped into the wall next to the door and reached unsteadily behind her with a shaking hand. With a last glance at Buffy she staggered into the hall and moved out of view, her slow footfalls the only sound in the room.
Dawn slowly turned to face her sister, furious.
"How could you do that to her? You...you enjoyed that!" snipped Dawn, her head shaking in disbelief. Buffy only stared at her, expressionless. Dawn turned to run after Faith but was stopped by Giles putting an arm out to block her. He had been so quiet this whole time that, lost in their own feelings, they had almost forgotten he was there.
"No. I'll talk to her," said Giles.
"But..."
"No," repeated Giles firmly. Dawn cringed at how forceful he was and stepped away but kept her back turned to Buffy. Giles left the room and found Faith standing at the top of the stairs as if lost, unaware of where she was.
"Faith."
Faith stood there as if she hadn't heard. Giles inhaled slowly and touched her shoulder. Her head slowly moved to look at his hand. Gradually she raised her eyes to meet his.
"It can't be true...it can't be! Giles, you, you don't believe her, do you?" asked Faith, her voice painfully desperate, clinging to the hope that he could comfort her.
Giles opened his mouth but didn't speak. He couldn't look at her.
"Nice I'll-make-it-all-better speech," whispered Faith, her shoulders drooping. She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head.
"Giles...why?" pleaded Faith forlornly, her voice a raspy whisper. "We, we made up...things were cool between us. And Dawn, she...she's my sister now. Buffy knows that. Giles...why?"
Giles lowered his head and opened his arms to Faith. She gratefully fell into him, closing her eyes and holding on to him tightly.
"Giles, I don't want to go," cried Faith.
"Go? Faith, you left us a long time ago."
Faith slowly opened her eyes and stepped away from him, gazing at him in horror.
"All your life you've sought out pain. Well, I guess it's found you," he sighed.
"Giles?" whispered Faith, her voice torn with fear.
"Buffy's right. I thought you were like Angel, that you could be saved, could redeem yourself. That perhaps we could even help you," chuckled Giles. "But you're not like Angel. He had no choice in what happened to him. But you..."
"Giles...no," whispered Faith in agony. "No. Please."
Giles simply stared at her, shaking his head.
"Giles, you promised me...you did," sobbed Faith.
"Faith, you're no better than the depraved filth that you hunt," spat Giles. He turned and slowly walked back to the bedroom.
Faith collapsed back against the wall behind her, absolutely numb, unable to move. One last time she looked at his back as he moved away from her. She crawled over to the stairs and weakly pulled herself to her feet, her body trembling with the effort. By the time Dawn peeked around the corner of the bedroom door, Faith was gone.
END OF PART EIGHT
PART EIGHT
"Spike! What are...how did you get here? The sun's still out," said Xander.
"Bugger the sun, when the need arises I have my ways," responded Spike.
"Oh, so that isn't your new cologne but the faint hint of sewer that I smell?" questioned Xander.
Xander stood in his doorway, not moving. Anya appeared and smiled at Spike over his shoulder.
"Well?" said Spike.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" asked Spike, rolling his eyes.
"No," answered both Xander and Anya at the same time.
"Not that we fear you," added Anya.
"We just find you annoying. And much less annoying if you can't come in," said Xander.
"Actually, I just didn't want him to get anything on the carpet," said Anya, wrinkling her nose and looking down at his shoes.
"Fine. I'll just say what I have to say and be on my way then," glared Spike.
They both stared at him and waited patiently. Spike scowled in return.
"It's time the Scoobies start worrying about Giles."
"Start? Spike, what are you talking about? Sure, Buffy's death hit him hard but he's dealing. Probably better than any of us," said Xander. Anya nodded in agreement.
"Oh really? Then why did he try to dig up her grave the other night?"
Xander stared at him, the color fading from his face.
"What?" whispered Xander.
"The man's holding on by a thread, people. The Council wants him out. Wake up and smell the Watcher!"
"Okay, disturbing visual aside...why do you care?" asked Xander.
"Why do I...bloody hell! You think I don't care?" snapped Spike.
"About Giles? No. You cared about Buffy. That much we got. Where's all this sudden insight coming from anyhow?" asked Xander.
"Pat's back in town. Says the Council boys are turning up the heat, just waiting for him to boil over. They need an excuse, on paper anyway, to remove him."
"Remove him why? So that she can waltz in here and take over? And what's Faith going to do?" asked Anya.
"That's the whole point, they don't trust Faith. But Pat wants nothing to do with it. She likes Faith and knows that Sunnydale is her town," said Spike.
"Right. That's why she's back here, because she doesn't want to be here. How convenient for her, then, if Giles quits or is fired. Our little Slayer will be in the right place at the wrong time to take over," glared Xander.
"Well, think about it. To a Slayer, Sunnydale must be like Disneyland. It has the best rides. Bet she's jealous of Faith having all the fun," nodded Anya knowingly.
"Fun! You think Faith's having fun?" asked Spike, astonished.
"And why did I say waltz? No one waltzes anymore," sighed Anya distractedly. "Never did like them anyway. All one, two, three, one, two, three. Boring!"
Xander raised one eyebrow at Anya.
"Thanks for the message, Spike. We'll add a grain of salt or two and keep it in mind," smiled Xander sarcastically. He shut the door in Spike's face.
"Fine! Be that way! Can't say as I didn't try to warn you!" shouted Spike. He threw his arms up in the air and stormed off.
"You believe him?" asked Anya.
"No. Giles has been through a lot. He'll be fine. We all will...eventually," said Xander, giving Anya a hug.
"So Pat's back," commented Anya. "Think she wants the job here?"
"Don't know, don't care," sighed Xander. "She didn't want it before...when it would've mattered if she was here."
"Maybe it's just fate or chance that she's here. Maybe she really doesn't want to take over for Faith."
"Huh?" muttered Xander.
"Well, there's something to be said about being in the right place at the wrong time. I mean, think about it. If the Beach Boys had been born in, oh, say Jamaica instead of southern California, we'd all be singing 'hep me, Rhonda, hep me" instead of help me," grinned Anya. Xander leaned back and looked at her.
"Your logic scares me at times. But that's why I love you," smiled Xander.
"Aw. Thanks. I think," answered Anya.
*****
Hearing a knock at the front door, Dawn pushed her sketch pad aside and got up from the kitchen table, reaching for her sunglasses as she did. She walked over and opened the door.
"Hey," offered Pat, immediately, and obviously, uncomfortable. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Pat?" said Dawn, as if she didn't know who this person was and had tried to match a name to an unfamiliar face. She glanced over her shoulder and then came outside, shutting the door behind her.
"Pat," repeated Dawn, this time more confidently. "Well, this is..."
"Awkward," finished Pat, seeing Dawn trying to find the right word.
"Um, do you want Faith? 'Cause she's still sleeping, it being daylight and all," said Dawn, trying to smile.
"No. Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Is Giles here?"
"Not yet. Do you want to come in and wait for him?" asked Dawn.
Pat was surprised at the offer and smiled appreciatively.
"No. But thanks. I'll just say what I needed to say and leave. See, I know Giles has been, well, not himself lately. And that's understandable, you know? What with Buffy..."
Pat glanced at Dawn but her expression didn't change. At all. And that threw Pat for a moment.
"Okay, long story short. The Council wants Giles to retire but he wants to stay. Because of Faith. I don't have to tell you that the Council doesn't take no for an answer. So..."
Again Pat looked at Dawn. She was listening, of course, but it seemed as if she was bored.
"What I'm trying to say is that they might do things to make him quit. Like upset him, or, or push him so that the pressure of the job gets to him. Thing is, I don't know what they'll do. But I know what they're capable of doing. You need to tell him."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why do they want him out?" asked Dawn matter of factly.
"Oh. You mean, besides the fact that he lost his Slayer? They don't trust Faith."
"Who does?" frowned Dawn.
"What?"
"Nothing," said Dawn, shaking her head. "So they want you here."
"Yeah. But it's not what I want. It's not right."
"So why not tell Giles yourself?" asked Dawn.
Pat hesitated, her eyebrows squeezing together.
"Just thought he'd listen to you. You're her sister. You, more than anyone else, you can reach him. And, well...I think I've let him down. I shoulda been there, you know? Dawn, I'm sorry. It can't mean much to you, but...I'm so sorry," sighed Pat, looking down.
"Thanks. It's, it's a little easier now. And I'll tell Giles. Don't know if it'll help. He hasn't been himself lately, ya know?" shrugged Dawn. Pat nodded but didn't look up.
"Oh, hey, um, Faith wants to meet you later tonight. About an hour past sunset."
"Where?"
"Uh...that place you met the other night. You know," hinted Dawn, encouraging Pat to answer for her.
"Oh. Down by the lake."
"Yeah. The lake. That's it," nodded Dawn. "I'll tell Giles what you said, okay?"
"Thanks," smiled Pat, picking up the hint that this conversation was over. "Guess I'll be on my way."
"It was good seeing you again," smiled Dawn.
Pat stared at her for a moment, quite surprised.
"Really? The last time we met...well, it got a little ugly there for a while," cringed Pat.
"Oh. Um...hey, it was just too soon, ya know? To her death, I mean," frowned Dawn.
"Yeah. Guess so. Be seeing you," said Pat, turning to go. She glanced back once over her shoulder, a puzzled look on her face. And then she was gone.
Dawn took her sunglasses off and smiled. Her eyes were completely black.
*****
Faith opened her eyes and reached out across the bed but then remembered where she was. He wasn't here. She got up and moved quickly to the window, placing her hand against the shade. It was warm, heated on the other side by the sun. Faith left her hand there, letting that warmth creep into her skin, hungry for its touch. She let her fingers drift down, brushing against the coarseness of the shade, reluctant to break the connection to something she could never have again.
Faith quickly got dressed and didn't bother to make the bed. Unlocking her door she stepped into the hall and nearly bumped into Willow.
"Oh, hey. I was just coming to get you," said Faith.
"Why?" asked Willow.
"Uh, come on in here, okay?"
Faith didn't wait for an answer. She pulled Willlow into the bedroom and, looking up and down the hall once, shut the door.
"What's up?" asked Willow.
"Well, first, I need you to do me a favor. Pat's back in town."
"Really," sighed Willow.
"Yeah," nodded Faith, ignoring her reaction. "Giles said she was staying at the motel out by the airport but she told me she was staying in that dump at the edge of town. The one I stayed at...before."
"I know the place," nodded Willow.
"So, could you access their guest books and tell me where she's staying? Quentin Travers is probably with her and they might both be using an alias."
"Sure. It'll only take a few minutes. Though I'm not sure your old haunt even has a computer."
"Oh, right. Damn!" frowned Faith.
"I'll just call there and ask," smiled Willow. "Why do you care where she's staying?"
"I don't. I'll only care if she's lying to me."
"Gotcha. I think," added Willow, screwing up her face. "So, is that it?"
"Um, no. We...we need to talk," said Faith.
"I did say I was sorry about seeing if you could fly or not," pouted Willow.
"No, it's not that."
Faith hesitated and Willow knowingly sighed.
"I heard her voice, Faith, even if you didn't. And she knew us."
"So that's it? You completely trust this, this...ghost? You sure you dialed the right number here Will? This is a very long distance call," said Faith.
"It's her. I know it," said Willow, though she looked away from Faith's gaze.
"You want it to be. And I'm on board with that. Hell, I hope it is her. I do," said Faith, softening her tone. Willow raised her eyes to meet hers again. "But what if it isn't?"
Willow chewed on her lower lip and put her hands on her hips.
"Then I guess we'll find out, won't we?" answered Willow. She turned to go but Faith grabbed her arm.
"Buffy wouldn't be afraid of me!"
Willow twisted her arm free.
"No, but she sure had a reason or two to be pissed, right?" yelled Willow.
"That's not fair. We worked things out, remember?" reminded Faith.
"Maybe. Maybe not," shot back Willow, causing Faith to flinch. Willow turned and grabbed the door handle.
"Red, listen to me!," screamed Faith.
Willow spun around, stunned. Faith hadn't called her that since...
"Just...listen, damn it!"
Willow stared at Faith, determined not to show her how that name had hurt. And to not think about why she suddenly cared that it did.
"I need you to hear me out, to hear what I have to say with your head, not with your heart. I wouldn't...Willow, I would never hurt you. You know that, don't you? Not after what we..."
Willow's hand moved up and touched the scar on her neck. She didn't look at Faith.
"Um, you can use your heart for that one, okay?," smiled Faith.
Willow looked up and Faith caught a hint of a smile, however brief.
"Go on," said Willow, lowering her hand.
"Alright. Maybe this is Buffy, maybe it isn't," started Faith, holding up a hand to silence Willow's protest. "If it is Buffy then nothing we do will harm her, right? Can't hurt a ghost."
"I guess," agreed Willow reluctantly. "Might upset her, but...sorry, go on."
"Good. But if it isn't Buffy, then we're dealing with a ghost or, or a demon, or who the hell knows what? What is this thing most likely after?"
"Um, well..."
"Come on, Willow, think. It probably wants a way back, maybe by taking over someone's body. That's a possibility, right?," encouraged Faith.
"Sure," sighed Willow. "But only one."
"Willow, with your head, not your heart, remember?," smiled Faith.
Willow nodded. Faith stepped over to her and put both hands on Willow's shoulders.
"This thing, if it's not Buffy, could hurt Dawn. Could kill her. We just don't know. Buffy would die before she would allow anything to happen to Dawn. And so would I."
Willow became rigid at hearing those words.
"That's right. Buffy did die to protect her. So what does she want with Dawn? Why Dawn...unless this spook playing on your emotions?" asked Faith gently.
Willow inhaled slowly, doubt obvious on her face. Faith smiled again.
"If it's not Buffy we won't hurt her," repeated Faith. "And we'd be protecting Dawn. Buffy would understand that, she would feel our intentions."
Willow nodded.
"So, how do we fight this thing? Find out where this ghost is buried maybe?"
Willow almost smiled again.
"Yeah. You have to purify the corpse, assuming you can find the grave," replied Willow.
"Good," nodded Faith. "And how do we do that?"
"With holy water," explained Willow as if she thought Faith should have known the answer.
"Oh," winced Faith, dropping her arms to her side.
"Or fire," added Willow optimistically.
"Two of my favorite things. I feel like breaking into a song from the Sound of Music," frowned Faith. "So, how do we find the grave?"
"I have no idea," shrugged Willow, somewhat embarrassed.
Faith ran a hand over her face, holding it over her chin and gaping at Willow in frustration.
*****
Giles leaned forward, placing a hand to either side of the sink as he looked out the kitchen window. He sighed to himself, knowing he couldn't hurry the sundown simply because he wished it so. Though it was quiet now it was far from peaceful. He was far from peaceful.
Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a silver flask and twisted off the top. Holding it out, staring at the shiny metal, he was tempted if only briefly to dump the contents into the sink. He hand trembled just enough to remind him how foolish that thought was. Giles tilted his head back and choked down a mouthful of the warm liquid, wincing as it burned his throat.
"Giles."
Giles coughed and dropped the flask. It bounced into the sink, clanging loudly. He spun around, eyes wide open.
"Oh, it's you. I'm, I'm sorry Dawn. For a minute there...I, I thought I heard Buffy's voice," smiled Giles apologetically.
"You did."
Giles froze. It was her voice. Dawn looked at him, calm and unconcerned yet unsmiling.
"Buffy?" whispered Giles, his voice aching with hope.
Dawn's lips curled upward, hinting at a smile. She nodded her head once.
"B-but, but how?"
"I told you, I'm already here. And I wanted to talk to you. Alone."
Giles stood just a little more erect and tilted his head slightly towards Dawn.
"Dawn...um, I mean Buffy...show me your eyes."
Dawn hesitated but the leaned forward and slipped her sunglasses down to the end of her nose. Just as before, her eyes were completely black. She pushed them back to the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"You don't believe that it's me," said Dawn.
"I didn't say that. I'm only..."
"Thinking of Dawn," finished Dawn. And then she smiled. "You always had the best instincts when it came to protecting the people you loved, Giles."
Giles seemed a little uncomfortable but he didn't smile at the compliment and he didn't take his eyes off of Dawn. Instead of getting used to hearing Buffy's voice eminating from Dawn he was beginning to find it most disturbing.
"So, guess I should prove to you who I am. Like...like when you were a demon and I didn't know who you were. Or, or better yet, like when Faith was in my body," said Dawn excitedly, "and I had to tell you things so that you would know..."
Dawn trailed off and looked down at the floor, lost in thought. And then she smiled yet again.
"Giles, a long time ago you asked me where a corkscrew earring could dangle from and you were more than a little embarrassed when I told you," grinned Dawn.
Giles' lips parted and his mouth opened just so slightly. He was staring at her now, eyes begging her to continue, wanting so desperately not to believe her but to believe in her, that this was possible. Dawn closed the few steps that were open between them and reached out, tracing a finger gently across the back of his hand.
"To touch something. Such a simple gesture, so easily taken for granted. I'm already forgetting, Giles. But, but I guess you can't understand, can you?" she winced.
"Buffy," whispered Giles.
"Giles, you don't blame yourself. Deep down, you know that. No, it wasn't your fault. Wouldn't it be easier for you to just say what you've been thinking all along? Even now I can feel it, this, this rage. You want to scream it, let everyone know the truth...but you don't dare. You're still protecting them, aren't you?"
"Buffy, please...don't. I believe it's you. I do. Just don't..."
"Giles, say it. You're mad at me. You know it wasn't your fault. All my talk of despair, of, of asking what it all means, of questioning why I even bothered to..."
"Buffy!" shouted Giles, gripping her by the shoulders. "It doesn't matter any more. You're..."
"Dead. Hey, obvious much?" She ignored him as he flinched. "Giles, just say it. It wasn't a sacrfice. It was..."
"No," whispered Giles, shaking his head. His face tightened as he fought for control, forcing back the tears. "Buffy, it wasn't a suicide, you didn't kill yourself...you didn't. Because if you did, then I failed you more...more than you can ever forgive me."
Giles winced and kept his eyes closed. His body shook as he gave in, letting go as he had so needed to, no longer having to be strong for the others. Dawn spread her arms around him and pulled him close, rubbing his back. For a moment, with his eyes closed, it was easy to imagine that it was Buffy that was holding him now. But he had held his Slayer many times before and Dawn's smaller body against his felt...wrong somehow. It was he who provided comfort, not the one who sought it out.
He gently tried to pull away but Dawn held onto him fiercely.
"Giles...I did what had to be done, nothing more. There's nothing to be angry at. Dawn is alive...and that's all that mattered to me," said Dawn, turning her face against his chest. She let go of him with one arm and pulled off the sunglasses to look up at him. Her eyes held no tears.
"I'm sorry, but I had to let you know it was me. I had to make you believe. Don't cry, Giles. I'm not in pain," said Dawn, touching his cheek. Giles pressed against her hand.
"I miss you," he mouthed, barely saying the words.
"I know," nodded Dawn.
He closed his eyes again, crying freely. Dawn eased away from him but held both his hands in hers.
"Giles, there's something you need to know. About...about Faith."
That last word hung in the air between them ghostlike, a shadow taken form.
*****
Still as a breath, no more conspicuous than a shadow, waiting. Pat didn't need to see to understand so she closed her eyes, trusting what she heard and the scents brought to her by the gentle night breeze. Eyes could deceive; best to trust your most primal senses. She could hunt like this for hours, motionless, the thrill of the chase replaced by the anticpation, the deep, lingering satisfaction of knowing she had caused fear in one of them. The Slayer only opened her eyes to experience the shock on the vampire's face when it knew what had waited for it.
And she smiled every time.
Alone. Always alone. When Faith had trained her the older Slayer constantly warned Pat about the isolation and the dangers it would bring. But friends were few and even farther between. Pat had quickly learned to embrace the solitude, had sought it out willingly. And had grown to trust in it.
Nearby a branch was brushed against, almost unnoticed even to Pat. Almost. Her eyes did open now but only because there was a chance, however slim, that what was creeping towards her might be Faith. That it was a vampire Pat had no doubt. She also knew that it could hear her heartbeat.
It emerged from the woods. Pat tried not to smile. The vampire did smile.
Quickly bending down to pick up a rock the size of her fist, Pat turned and faced the vampire, now only a few feet away. He shook his head and laughed.
"That won't help you, little girl."
With an underhand toss, Pat flung the rock high into the air above them. Confused, the vampire looked up at it. He felt the stake enter his chest but never saw it.
Pat shook the ash from her forearm and sighed.
"When they're that stupid it just isn't as much fun," she complained, shaking her head. She pocketed the stake and turned towards the lake. And froze.
A little girl was standing there in front of her, not an arm's reach away. Instinct made Pat jump into a defensive stance, hands raised. Her eyes were wide open as she wondered how this girl had been able to get this close to her. The girl, no more than eight or nine, didn't move. Pat lowered her fists ever so slowly.
"Who are you?" challenged Pat.
The girl only stared at her. And a moment later Pat realized the breeze she felt on her face should've been moving this girl's long brown hair. But it wasn't. Pat took a step back, tilting her head slightly and lowering her arms. The girl smiled.
And then she simply faded away.
Pat staggered back until she bumped into the smooth trunk of the tree behind her. Moving her eyes but not her head, Pat sought out any movement in the woods around her, listened intently to the night. But she was alone.
Pat turned and ran.
*****
Tara sat with Dawn on her bed. Xander and Anya stood by the closet. He slipped his hand into hers and she flashed him a grateful smile. Giles paced by the window, occassionally glancing out into the night. He had seen Spike out there earlier but the street was empty now. Faith sat by the door with her back to the wall, not looking at anyone. No one looked at her.
Willow entered the room and Faith looked up expectantly.
"Neither of them are registered at the airport motel. Finally got someone to pick up the phone at the other place. We haggled a bit but the owner finally fessed up that a girl matching Pat's description was staying there," nodded Willow.
"How'd ya get him to fess up?" asked Faith, impressed.
"Oh, I just mentioned something about the local police being interested in investigating a report of underage prostitution," smiled Willow.
"Thanks," laughed Faith. Willow frowned.
"So she didn't lie to you," said Willow.
"Looks like," said Faith, puzzled.
Willow walked over and sat down on the bed with Dawn between her and Tara.
"You feel okay?" asked Willow. Dawn bravely nodded.
The room became silent, the only sound the ticking of a clock.
"Dawn, I don't remember you having a clock that ticked," said Tara.
"Oh, um, I brought it. From the shop," explained Giles, nodding towards the dresser where it sat. "Not really sure why. It just...seemed like the thing to do."
"Buffy liked that clock," said Dawn.
"What? Really?" asked Giles.
"Yeah," smiled Dawn. "Liked the sound it made when she was all alone there, just...listening to it. Somehow it belonged there, you know?"
Faith stared at the clock, lost in her own thoughts. Looking away, she noticed that Dawn was staring at her. And she still wore her sunglasses. Puzzled, Faith looked away.
"Okay, I hate to bring this up, but will Buffy show up if, if Faith is here?" asked Anya, cringing.
"I'm not leaving. Buffy has no reason to be afraid of me," said Faith calmly.
"Oh, I didn't mean that you should leave," replied Anya quickly. "It's just, well, what exactly is going to happen?"
"I'm not sure," shrugged Willow. "But she'll show. She said she would."
"She will," said Dawn.
The room became very quiet again. It took a moment for Faith to realize that everyone was looking at Dawn. She slowly got to her feet. Dawn stood up as well.
"They hear Buffy's voice, don't they?" asked Faith, not taking her eyes from Dawn.
"Yes. Look, I don't understand the rules. This just...is," shrugged Dawn. "Maybe because you're dead...I don't know. Faith, Giles believes me. And I think Willow does. Let me show you."
"Show me what?" asked Faith suspiciously. Dawn took off her sunglasses.
"Buffy? Are you, um, in pain? Where you are, I mean," said Xander.
"No. But I shouldn't be here. And I can't stay. There's something I need you to do."
"What?" asked Willow.
"In a minute. First I need to leave Dawn. It's the only way she'll be able to see me," said Dawn.
"We're not seeing you now," replied Faith. Dawn smiled.
"Oh, you mean you need to, um, occupy one of us? You can use me," offered Willow happily. Dawn sat back down on the bed.
"No, that's not what I mean. Faith, turn off the light. Tara, after it's dark, light that candle behind us, okay?" asked Dawn.
Tara looked to Giles for approval.
"It's okay, Tara. If there's trouble Faith can see in the dark. And this won't take long," smiled Giles.
Faith shot Giles a puzzled look but reached up on the wall behind her and pulled the switch downwards. A moment later came the sound of a match being lit. The single candle lit the room well. Dawn was now lying on the bed, eyes closed. Everyone stared at her but nothing happened. Everyone but Faith. She focused on a shadow in the corner of the room by the closet. One by one the others noticed and turned to look as Faith slowly took a couple of steps forward.
The shadow took a step forward, wearing a white top and gray pants. The same clothes she had died in.
"Hey."
Buffy slowly looked around, smiling and yet seeming embarrassed. Focusing on Faith, she grinned as Faith's mouth dropped open.
"Buffy?" whispered Faith.
Buffy nodded.
"You hear my voice now, Faith?" she asked.
And now Faith nodded. Dawn stirred and quickly opened her eyes, bounding up into a sitting position. Though her eyes were once again red, she seemed fine.
"Buffy?"
Dawn jumped up and ran to Buffy.
"Um, Dawn, don't..."
Dawn tried to hug her sister but her arms passed right through her. She took a step back, staring.
"Sorry," shrugged Buffy. "There's nothing here to hold onto. I needed the light low because it hurts my eyes. And the less light there is, the more solid I seem to you."
"How...how did you know that?" asked Tara. Again Buffy shrugged.
"I don't know. Guys, it's me. I don't know what else I can do to prove it."
Buffy looked at Dawn and smiled.
"Dawn, don't cry. I know you're doing okay. I feel it."
Dawn wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
"How long can you stay?" asked Dawn hesitantly.
"I'm not sure. Tonight, maybe tomorrow night. After that...I just don't know. And only here and...and the place I died. That was one of the tradeoffs of not using you. But you can see me now, Dawn."
"Can you use another host? To stay longer?" asked Xander.
"I don't want to," sighed Buffy.
"Oh," winced Xander.
"What did you want us to do?" asked Willow.
"There's a field. I'm not sure where it is, but I know six people were killed and buried there. No one knows. Well, I know. But their families..."
"We get it," smiled Willow. "Still thinking of others first, even where...well..."
"I guess," nodded Buffy. "I know this place but, but I can't remember where it is. It's hard to explain. Oh, there's a beech tree, and a pond or maybe a lake."
"A beech tree. I don't even know what one looks like," frowned Xander.
"I do," said Faith. Everyone looked over at her but she kept her eyes on Buffy.
"They're very common in Boston, all of New England. Only one I know of around here is down by the lake in Miller's Woods. Buffy, why were you frightened of me before? I, I don't get it," said Faith.
Buffy smiled. The candle behind her flickered and to Faith the room suddenly seemed colder. Even the others seemed to notice. Anya rubbed her arms.
"I wasn't frightened of you, Faith, but for you."
"Huh?" answered Faith, narrowing her eyes.
"Faith. You always liked hearing the sound of your own name, didn't you?" nodded Buffy.
"What? B, what are you talking about?" asked Faith, aware that everyone in the room suddenly seemed to find something else to look at besides her or Buffy.
"Faith...I'm dead. Oh, not like you. I mean, I'm gone, you know? It's a big deal. You get a different...perspective on things."
"I hear ya," nodded Faith, not taking her eyes from her, as if she would blink and Buffy would disappear.
Buffy smiled. And her smile became a laugh.
"No, you don't. See, it's like this. I know what's waiting for you. There is no redemption, Faith. Not for you. The cards have already been dealt. You came up short."
Faith bit her lower lip. Though she stared even more desperately at Buffy, her resolve was shaken. She swallowed to try to keep from shaking.
"Maybe...maybe you'll understand it this way. If God won't forgive you for what you've done, well...why the hell should I?" smiled Buffy coldly.
Faith's mouth dropped open. It took her a second or two but she shook her head in denial, in disbelief.
"B...please, how can you..."
Faith's weak protest was shattered by Buffy's laughter. She shook her head sadly at the distraught girl.
"What you had...what you've lost! Such a waste. Even now you make me sick to my stomach. Just...leave already," sighed Buffy.
Faith looked down, not focusing on anything. Tears ran down her cheeks but she made no effort to wipe them away or to hide her face. Backing up slowly she bumped into the wall next to the door and reached unsteadily behind her with a shaking hand. With a last glance at Buffy she staggered into the hall and moved out of view, her slow footfalls the only sound in the room.
Dawn slowly turned to face her sister, furious.
"How could you do that to her? You...you enjoyed that!" snipped Dawn, her head shaking in disbelief. Buffy only stared at her, expressionless. Dawn turned to run after Faith but was stopped by Giles putting an arm out to block her. He had been so quiet this whole time that, lost in their own feelings, they had almost forgotten he was there.
"No. I'll talk to her," said Giles.
"But..."
"No," repeated Giles firmly. Dawn cringed at how forceful he was and stepped away but kept her back turned to Buffy. Giles left the room and found Faith standing at the top of the stairs as if lost, unaware of where she was.
"Faith."
Faith stood there as if she hadn't heard. Giles inhaled slowly and touched her shoulder. Her head slowly moved to look at his hand. Gradually she raised her eyes to meet his.
"It can't be true...it can't be! Giles, you, you don't believe her, do you?" asked Faith, her voice painfully desperate, clinging to the hope that he could comfort her.
Giles opened his mouth but didn't speak. He couldn't look at her.
"Nice I'll-make-it-all-better speech," whispered Faith, her shoulders drooping. She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head.
"Giles...why?" pleaded Faith forlornly, her voice a raspy whisper. "We, we made up...things were cool between us. And Dawn, she...she's my sister now. Buffy knows that. Giles...why?"
Giles lowered his head and opened his arms to Faith. She gratefully fell into him, closing her eyes and holding on to him tightly.
"Giles, I don't want to go," cried Faith.
"Go? Faith, you left us a long time ago."
Faith slowly opened her eyes and stepped away from him, gazing at him in horror.
"All your life you've sought out pain. Well, I guess it's found you," he sighed.
"Giles?" whispered Faith, her voice torn with fear.
"Buffy's right. I thought you were like Angel, that you could be saved, could redeem yourself. That perhaps we could even help you," chuckled Giles. "But you're not like Angel. He had no choice in what happened to him. But you..."
"Giles...no," whispered Faith in agony. "No. Please."
Giles simply stared at her, shaking his head.
"Giles, you promised me...you did," sobbed Faith.
"Faith, you're no better than the depraved filth that you hunt," spat Giles. He turned and slowly walked back to the bedroom.
Faith collapsed back against the wall behind her, absolutely numb, unable to move. One last time she looked at his back as he moved away from her. She crawled over to the stairs and weakly pulled herself to her feet, her body trembling with the effort. By the time Dawn peeked around the corner of the bedroom door, Faith was gone.
END OF PART EIGHT
