The Lightning Thief
Sally: *Talking about Poseidon* He was kind, Percy. Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. *Dreamily* He was brave...dazzling...amazing...charming...funny...witty...relaxed...fascinating...Wait, who am I talking about again?
Percy: ...Poseidon...
Sally: ...Right. I was, uh, totally talking about him...
Percy: Wait...
Director: CUT!
The Sea of Monsters
Percy: Wait a minute. I thought we were packing me up for camp tonight.
Sally: Ah, dear, about that...*Twists her wet dishrag nervously and accidentally makes water pour out of it and onto the ground*
Percy: O.o
Sally: Um...should I keep going or...?
Director: *In the background* Okay, next time we're going with the dry dishrag!
Sally: Yeah...it's kind of...seeping through my socks right now.
*People start talking in the background*
Sally: We should really get a mop or...
Director: CUT!
The Titan's Curse
*In the car with Thalia, Annabeth, and Percy, taking them to Westover Hall*
Sally: Are you sure you don't want me to wait?
Percy: No, Mom. We don't know how long—
Sally: Percy! Just because you're a demigod doesn't mean you have the right to just go around ignoring your mother like that!
Percy: Uh...
Sally: I'M IMPORTANT, TOO! THERE'S NO DENYING THAT! I MEAN, I'M YOUR MOTHER!
Percy: ...
Sally: I DEMAND A HUG, MISTER! MOVE IT!
Percy: S-sorry. Sorry. *Hugs awkwardly*
Director: CUT!
Sally: To rough?
The Battle of the Labyrinth
Sally: Think positive. Tomorrow you're off to Camp! After orientation, you've got your date—
Percy: It's not a date! It's just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!
Sally: But she's coming all the way from Camp to see you.
Percy: Well, yeah.
Sally: You're going to the movies.
Percy: Yeah.
Sally: Just the two of you.
Percy: Mom!
Sally: Alone.
Percy: But—
Sally: Together...
Percy: What are you—?
Sally: Without adult supervision...
Percy: Um...
Sally: In a movie theater...
Percy: Mom, where are you going with this?
Sally: In the dark...
Percy: ...
Sally: You know, maybe I should go with you just in case—
Director: CUT!
The Last Olympian
Sally: *Yelling at the security guy in the Empire State Building* I'm telling you, we have to go up! My son—*Sees Percy* PERCY! *Hugs*
Percy: Oof!
Sally: *Still hugging him* We saw the building light up blue, but you didn't come down. *Tries to pull away* You went up—You went up—Okay, guys my earring is stuck.
*Laughter in the background*
Percy: We're not gonna have to cut her ear off, are we?
Sally: Can I get some help?
Paul: *Awkwardly says his next line* ...She was getting a bit anxious?
Sally: Not now, Paul!
Director: CUT!
Thalia sat back in her fancy, leather, and clearly expensive chair and sighed, "You have an awesome mom, Percy."
"Thanks." I grumbled.
Thalia lets out a snort, "It doesn't help to pout, Percy."
I look at a reflection in one of the screens and realize I was indeed pouting. I wasn't even aware of it...weird. I shoot Thalia a glare and deny it anyway, "I am not pouting."
She smirks, "Whatever floats you boat, Percy."
I cross my arms over my chest and huff, "Can we just watch another blooper, please."
Thalia raises an eyebrow, "I thought you said these bloopers were creepy?"
I shake my head, "No, I said that the fact that you took the time to make a collection of the bloopers was creepy."
She sighs, "Let's just watch some more bloopers."
"Wait, who are we watching?"
Click.
The Lightning Thief
Travis:
Annabeth: Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven.
Travis: *From the back* Regular or underrated?
Percy: ...
Annabeth: Travis. You had one line. ONE. LINE! IN THE ENTIRE FREAKIN' BOOK!
Travis: What did I do?
Conner: Travis, the line was, Regular or undetermined?
Travis: ...I knew that.
Director: Cut!
The Sea of Monsters
Connor:
*Connor fighting Clarisse in the second chariot race*
Clarisse: *Slashes at Connor*
Connor: GAAH! *Flies out of chariot*
Clarisse: *Still on her chariot and says smugly* Oops. *Starts to sharpen her javelin*
Director: *Sighs* Not that hard Clarisse. We aren't trying to hurt each other.
Clarisse: *Smugly* I can't help who I am.
Connor: *From background* Help...?
Director: CUT!
The Titan's Curse
Travis:
Zoe: I shall go, of course, and I will take Phoebe. She's our best tracker.
Travis: The big girl who likes to hit people?
Everyone: ...
Travis: What...? OH! I meant...uh...what exactly did I mean?
Director: *Sigh* The line is: The big girl who likes to hit people on the head?
Travis: ...It is?
Everyone at the table: *Groans*
Director: Someone have Travis study his lines!
Annabeth: Unbelievable. One line. ONE! LINE!
Travis: I know. I am pretty unbelievable, aren't I? I mean, with these good looks, and this charm—
Director: CUT!
Connor:
Chiron: I have several ideas, none of them good. And none of them quite make sense. Typhon, for instance, could fit the description. He was truly a bane of Olympus. Or the sea monster Keto. But if either of those were stirring, we would know it. They are ocean monsters the size of skyscrapers. Your father, Poseidon would already have sounded the alarm. I fear this monster may be more elusive. Perhaps even more powerful.
Connor: *Snores loudly*
Everyone at the table: CONNOR!
Connor: *Wakes up* What? WHAT HAPPENED?
Annabeth: *Groans* And that was going to be such a good take, too...
Director: CUT!
The Battle of the Labyrinth
Travis:
Clarisse: *Shakes her head* I'm not going back in there.
Travis: HAHAHAHAHA! Clarisse you're such a baby! It's a stupid maze how bad can it be?
Clarisse: *Face turns red* STOLL!
Travis: Stole what?
Director: Uh, Travis, I think you went a little over board with the laughing and the insults and—
Clarisse: DIE, TRAVIS STOLL, DIE! *Draws sword*
Travis: *Yelps* AAAHH!
Director: *Sighs* CUT!
Connor:
*Connor and Travis hot-wiring the camp's SUV*
Narrator: As I made my way through camp, I said hi to some of my friends. In the Big House's driveway Connor and Travis were hot-wiring the camp's SUV. Silena Beauregard, the head counselor for Aphrodite-
*The SUV explodes* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Travis: *From Background* CONNOR! I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THE FANCY GOLD CHAINSAW THAT SAID 'DO NOT USE' ON IT!
Director: *Sigh* Someone order a new SUV and then let's restart the scene...
*Connor and Travis in the background arguing*
Travis: IT WAS YOUR IDEA, YOU !
Connor: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON KATIE!
Travis: *Exaggerated gasp* I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON—
Connor: Don't even try to deny it, Travis...
Director: CUT!
The Last Olympian
Travis:
Will: There's a Duane Reade on Fifth. Normally I would never steal—
Travis: I would!
Will: *Glares* Leave cash or drachmas, whatever you've got, but this is an emergency. I've got a feeling we're going to have a lot more people to treat.
Travis: Come one, guys. Let's give Annabeth some space. We've got a drugstore to raid.
Everyone: ...
Travis: What? We are raiding it.
Will: *Sigh* Back in positions everyone.
Travis: Okay, okay, I'll do it right this time...
Director: CUT!
Connor:
*Annabeth looking through the magic video shield*
Connor: Whoa! Back up! Zoom in right there.
Annabeth: What? You see invaders?
Connor: No, right there—Dylan's Candy Bar.
*Grins at Travis*
Connor: Dude, it's open. And everyone's asleep. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Katie: Connor! This is serious. You are not going to loot a candy store in the middle of a war.
Connor: Uh...*Turns to Travis and smacks him on the head* Yeah! What are you thinking Travis?
Travis: Hey!
Director: *Sigh* CUT!
Thalia grinned at the screen as the image of Connor faded. Travis and Connor were always forgetting their lines, or getting beaten up by Clarisse, or falling out of things...or planning to steal things...or—you get the point.
"So," I began, "Is that the last of the bloopers?"
Thalia grins slyly at me, "Well...I do have this one file."
She rolls the mouse over a file that reads, 'Things That Happened, Even Though They Weren't Supposed To'
Click.
Well...I think it's official. I am a horrible updater person...thing. Anyway, doing Travis and Connor is actually harder than it seems. They didn't have many lines in the first 3 books, so...yeah. I had to improvise, as you can see.
But...will you still review? For me? ^-^
Rain~*
