A/N: I don't know how you guys feel about entrance themes, but I enjoy most of them.

Rare disclaimer: I own none of these, nor do I own Edge, even though the takes over my brain from time to time.

I seriously can't stand some of the entrance themes being used today.

What's worse is when people actually sing their own entrance theme. John Cena basically talks through his whole thing. It's scripted to rhyme and I don't see how that qualifies as "music." That just proves how narcissistic John Cena actually is. He likes to listen to himself talk. Add Shawn Michaels to the list of the narcissists. He talks about how "cute and sexy" he thinks he is. I'll sing about how old and decrepit I think he is. After all, my opinion is the only one that matters around here. And don't even get me started on Jillian Hall's new theme. Oh. My. Canadian. Fucking. God. At least we know whose implants are charging down the ring when we hear that horrible screech.

Now, that is not the only indiscretion that is posed throughout today's entrance themes. What, you didn't understand what I just said? Yeah, the Edgemeister is smart. That means that there is more than one "no no," for you lesser educated fools that somehow are able to read.

Some of them just plain SUCK! They reek of horrendous suckitude. Seriously, I don't know how the WWE hasn't been sued yet for the causing of internal ear bleeding.

Scratch what I said before about "some" of the entrance themes sucking. They all do with the exception of one…mine.

If it doesn't have a guitar, that's automatic disqualification from the "cool entrance theme" race. Generic themes suck, too. I mean, they don't have any words, so you can't sing along to them.

And it's always much better to have a kick ass band do your entrance theme. No, Motörhead for Triple H and P.O.D. for Rey Mysterio don't count. Motörhead and P.O.D. are not awesome bands. They suck monkey bum, kind of like John Cena's so called "rap career."

And you all think that Hulk Hogan's "Real American" was a great theme song? Hell no! Hulk Hogan likes to walk around in thongs and…Ugh. I can't even talk about it. I've already thrown up in my mouth throughout all of these rants that it could ruin my teeth. We just can't have any of that, now can we?

Now my theme is just bloody amazing. Wait…did I just say "bloody?" Yuck. I've been making fun of William Regal a bit too much…but it's not possible to make fun of William Regal too much. In fact, I'm going to head out now to make fun of him.