I Would Never Admit. Chapter Seven: Forgiven.

By: x - - unwrittenMELODY


Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's M for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Ah, I like this chapter.
I guess writing these two exposed and vulnerable
make them more human, yeah?

First Part Steves POV; Second&Third Part Darren's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!


"Steve... you haven't eaten a thing, hun."

My eyes averted from my fries onto Cassidy, my best friend since childhood. She had a worried look on her face as she held her milkshake in her hand. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, looking back to my french fries.

"Sorry... I just... I don't want to eat. Don't have much of an appetite," I said and she frowned, hand resting on mine.

"You look terrible, Steve. Have you been sleeping at all?" she asked me softly, worried.

"No. I've been too upset..." I said, moving my hand away to place them to my face.

"I can't sleep. I can't stop crying and wanting to throw up. Darren won't even let me touch him and when he does he pulls away sometimes... I don't know what to do. I said sorry..."

"Hunny, he's hurt. Your going to have to let it take some time. Your still with him, bright side, right?" I could hear her speak and I shrugged my shoulders, closing my eyes.

"I don't know. I just wish I didn't act on fuckin' impulse like I did. She was ugly anyway and all I could do was picture Darren," I said and let my hands fall back to the table, tears stinging my eyes.

"Steve..."

"I messed up so bad, Cass. I'm so scared he'll just leave me and, like, just go and take everything with him. Fuck why couldn't I just-" I felt my shoulders slump and I tilted my head back, trying not to cry in front of my best friend.

"Your... not alone, Steve..." she said, voice sad and I looked at her and she was holding tightly onto my hand; it was like she was trying to suffocate it, or something.

"Cass... don't..." I began and tried to pull my hand away but she held it tighter.

"Don't let this get you down! You love him, right? Then show him your sorry..." she spoke softly, as if she wanted to say something but was too afraid to.

"Cass..." I whispered and she looked away, biting her lip.

"I've already missed my chance and I've accepted it," she continued, wiping at her eyes and then looked over to me.

"Don't miss yours. You have the chance, take it and stop being a pussy," she griped and I couldn't speak, only sit there, speechless.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Go get him!" she said and I only sat there momentarily, still lost.

"Cassidy... you..."

"I love you, Steve. You love Darren. Go to him before I change my mind," she said and stood up, placing a five on the table and moved to walk away.

"Cass!" I called and grabbed her wrist, still confused.

She turned around and kissed my cheek, leaving me even more confused then before.

"Go to him. He needs you," she whispered and pulled away from me and hurried out of the cafe and I stood there, dumbstruck.

Go to him. He needs you.

I looked over to the campus apartments and ran towards Darren and I's apartment; all I was hoping was that I wasn't too late.


I didn't know it could get much harder, but it did. I laid my head against the tiles as the water hit my back. I was consumed in thought, always thinking nowadays. I was always cautious near Steve, monitoring him when I could. I knew I didn't trust him and he knew I didn't trust him, either. I slid down the tiles and held myself, still thinking.

It had been a week ever since Steve cheated on me, and it still stung my heart like a fresh wound. I was paranoid that it would happen again even though Steve swore he wouldn't do it. I was alone in this apartment today, Steve saying he wanted to hang with his friend. I wanted to believe him, but I just couldn't. I couldn't and I wouldn't no matter how hard I wanted to.

Then, I cried again for the fifth time that morning.

I think I had sat in there for a few hours and dozed off because the water had stopped running but then again... I wasn't in the tub. I was in my room, wrapped up in my covers. When did I do this? I sat up and looked around, noticing that it was almost midnight. I looked over to my pillow and there was Steve, hand wrapped around mine and sleeping. His expression was so pained...

I ran my finger's through his hair and kissed his forehead, checking him cautiously for anything suspicious. Nothing. He still even smelled like himself: Axe body wash and old spice.

I got out of the bed and slipped on a shirt, it being Steve's which didn't surprise me. It was pretty big on me so I didn't put anything else on and made way into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and paused when a set of arms wrapped around my waist.

"I can't sleep when your not next to me."

I bit my lip and dropped my water bottle, eyes focused to his arms that held onto me tightly. He was kissing my neck and I trembled, holding onto the refrigerator handle for support.

"Steve..." I mumbled, pulling away and he took a step back.

"Why can't I touch you?" he asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders, not making eye contact.

"Why can't I touch you?"

He was almost in hysterics and he grabbed my wrist and I finally looked at him. He was still gorgeous even if he looked absolutely horrible. His hair was in his face and he had large bags under his eyes. He was staring at me with those large, chestnut eyes and I bit my lip.

"I... I..." I couldn't give him a reason, I just didn't want to be touched.

"I love you so damn much, Darren. So much it fucking hurts, okay? I fucked up, I know. I just want you to forgive me. I know we can't just wipe the slate clean right off the bat but I can't deal with not touching you," he said and pulled me close and I instinctively pulled away.

"Steve. Please..." I whined and pulled from his grip, hurrying out of the kitchen.

"I LOVE YOU, DARREN. I'M SORRY!"

I trembled and fell to my knees in the hallway, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." I could hear him repeat and I felt the hurt in his voice and found the feeling back in my legs and hurried into the bathroom.

I flipped the toilet seat up and anything I ate earlier made it into the porcelain bowl. I continued until my throat was raw and I cried onto the seat.

This was hurting me so much more then I led on.


For the second time I had fallen asleep in the bathroom. My cheek was sore from laying on it and I moved away from the toilet. It had been flushed and I looked around, eyes stinging and I made way to the bathroom mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and my lips were swollen from all the biting I did to them. I looked, to be blunt, like shit.

I splashed water onto my face and then looked back, some of the puffiness disappearing. I didn't look so much like shit now. I made way back to my bedroom to sleep when I heard soft whimpers fill the hallway. I walked towards the noise and stopped before Steve's door, hearing how loud the noises really were.

That was the sound of crying...

I bit my already bruised lips and closed my eyes, back against the wall near his closed door. He wasn't just crying, he was sobbing. He sounded so hurt... in so much pain. He really was sorry. It was as if he was crying his heart out with how hurt he was...

I felt tears slide down my own cheeks and soon I couldn't take it any longer and I tossed open the door. He was on the bed, laying down, holding himself as he sobbed. He was trying to breath through his tears and something inside of me broke. I was upset, and he clearly was, too. I didn't want him to cry... it broke my heart to hear him cry.

I ran over to him, scooping him up in my arms and pulled him close to my chest. His crying was practically uncontrollable now and I held him tightly. I looked down to him and his chest was heaving and his eyes were closed tightly and I leaned down and kissed his face. I was trying to kiss his pain away and his eyes cracked open.

"Steve..." I whispered and he coughed, trying to sit up but I laid him down then leaned over him and kissed him delicately.

His hand weakly reached up to hold mine and I gave him it, his finger's lacing with mine. He wasn't crying anymore but his chest was still heaving and I kissed him deeper. I straddled him and pulled away slowly, his eyes barley open and red as he watched me.

"I... I'm not..." he began but I placed a finger to his lips and kissed his hand.

"I forgive you..." I whispered and his eyes widened and I smiled gently, slowly moving my hips against his.

He gasped softly and I moved my hips faster and pressed harder onto him, the friction on his jeans against me causing me to moan softly. He blushed and I leaned close, kissing from his jaw to his neck.

"Darren..." he tried to speak again and I only kissed him again, shaking my head.

"It's my turn..." I muttered and slid myself down to slowly undo his button and slid the zipper down.

I slid my hand inside and wrapped my finger's around him and stroked gently, feeling him arch into my hand. I leaned down and gently massaged him, taking care in being gentle with him. He moaned softly, hands in his hair and watching me intently through a half-lidded gaze.

"I love you," I said softly and sunk to my knees on the floor, licking up and down the shaft gently.

He grunted and began to pant and I finally took him into my mouth, gagging as he thrust his hips up and shoved most of his cock into my throat. I pulled away and coughed but went back to it, following the way that Steve did when he would do this to me. He was groaning and panting above me so I assumed I was doing this right and trailed my finger's along the skin on his exposed abdomen. His hands reached down and his finger's tangled in my hair and I closed my eyes, sucking a bit harder. He moaned loudly and I smiled, feeling a bit accomplished.

"Darren.. D-D-"

I didn't expect him to come so quickly and my mouth was filled instantly and I pulled away, coughing. I swallowed whatever was left and pushed my hair from my face, looking up to him and his face was flushed. I wiped my mouth then made way back to him, hand cupping his face as he took deep and jagged breaths.

"Darren... I'm sor-"

"No... no more saying sorry," I whispered, smile coming to my face, "let me make love to you..."

He bit his lip then nodded and I slipped the shirt off slowly, tossing it to the side and kissed him gently. He grimaced a bit and I laughed softly, apologizing to him over the taste of him still in my mouth. I ran my finger's through his hair and then slid my body down to his crotch, positioning myself before slowly slipping onto him. We gasped in unison and I closed my eyes a bit, moaning softly.

I placed a hand on the side of him and moved on him, up and down slowly. Too slowly for him, apparently for his hand was on my waist and he guided me faster. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, moaning his name in ecstasy. He muttered my name and my eyes slipped open and he was crying again, but it wasn't sadness. I could feel myself blush and he pushed in deep and I could feel myself scream in pleasure.

"Steve," I breathed out, eyes rolling back as he thrust in deeper and harder and I shuddered, pulling my hair back as I rolled my hips in time with his thrusts.

Then, a loud scream pulled from my throat and I almost fell off of him as he thrust into me. He had found it, my prostate and it felt so good when he pushed-

"STEVE!" I screamed, clawing at the sheets and groaned in pleasure.

I fisted the sheets and he groaned along with my estacitic screams and I could feel it. I was so close it hurt and his free hand reached to wrap around me and I arched into his touches. This caused him to push in all the way and I couldn't control my vocals. His hand moved along with the thrusts and I gripped the sheets so hard my knuckles turned white and my eyes widened as I opened my mouth to try and moan again.

One final scream fled my lips before my eyes rolled to the back to my head and I came, coating his chest and moaned lowly when he released inside of me. I was panting hard and he was, too and he closed his eyes. I couldn't keep myself up and was only sitting up now by his hand keeping me up.

I don't know how long we sat there but he slowly slid me off and laid me down and my eyes cracked open as he got out of the bed. He went to his clothes pile and grabbed a towel, cleaning himself off and I smiled a bit. He looked over to me and a small smile came to his lips, as well.

He sat on the bed near me and took my hand without hesitation, lifting it up to kiss it. I felt my cheeks grow warm and I closed my eyes. They opened again when a warm liquid rolled down my arm and I saw that he was crying again. I sat up and he looked to me and pulled my face to his, kissing me deeply.

"I promise to never, ever hurt you again," he whispered and I smiled, wiping at his tears.

"And I trust you never to do so again."

He pulled me into an embrace and buried his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. He laid us down and pulled me close so his face was in my hair. He ran his finger's down my back and in return, I laid my head onto his chest.

We slept like that... just like that. I loved him, and that was that.


Sweet ending, no?

:] I hope you guys liked.
They are so cute like this.

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