Friday evening, After "Movie Night", Nick's Apartment
"Did you have to invite Officer Fuchs to our 'Friday Night Flicks'?" Judy asked from the far end of the couch.
"I didn't have to invite her – and her name, in case you hadn't noticed, is 'Edda' – but I thought that you'd appreciate the gesture," Nick said, trying to keep his expression totally innocent (at least in appearance).
Judy took a deep calming breath, folded her arms in front of her and shuffled over a few centimeters further away from the fox. "I thought that this was our private time together. But what was there for me to appreciate? The way she seemed to hang on your every word? The way she kept leaning her muzzle on your shoulder? The way…"
"The way that a very lonely vixen responded to a friendly hand in the midst of strangers," Nick interrupted.
"Friendly? You encouraged her in that behavior!"
"Would you pay attention for five minutes?"
"Why should I?"
"Because if we're going to have an argument, it would be nice if we were both acting on the basis of the facts."
"The facts?" The lapine doe continued to glare at the fox. "What facts?"
"Will you let me speak, and not interrupt?"
"If you start making sense. Officer Fuchs seems to be meeting your stated requirement for a beautiful vixen…"
"Yes – she notices me. And thank you. First, I have a question for you: where do you think Edda comes from? Where she grew up?"
"Where else? Foxtown – here in Zootopia."
"Nope. She's from Podunk. You know – that little town that's in a county even further from Zootopia than Bunnyburrow. She grew up in a farming family."
"You have got to be kidding, Piberius Wilde. A fox farming family? What were they farming?"
"Fruits, grain, and they had chickens and a fish pond. Edda could teach you a thing or two about fishing, by the way – she told me about how she spent her evenings laying out fish lines in the Stevens River – with the stinkiest cheese she could find as bait. Every morning, one of her chores was to pick up the catfish from the lines – that was their typical breakfast. She went to the same Ag college that you did, just a year after you did. But she always wanted to be a big city cop – 'to make the world a better place'. Sound familiar?"
"You're kidding," Judy said, starting to look sheepish.
"She tried for two years to get in to the Zootopia Police Academy before she got in. She spent the time studying forensics at a JC local to her family home. When she got in – well – if you think you were hazed, you should have gone through what she did."
"I was 'country-girl', 'fluff-but', and a lot of other nastier names…"
"Remember what I said about 'voop'? That was the nicest thing she was called. And the other female candidates gave her hell. She still managed to graduate third in her class – by being a tough vixen who worked her tail off. And what do you think happened to her on her first day on the force?"
"She didn't find herself on 'parking detail'," Judy snarled.
"No – she was transferred to Vice and made up to look like a prostitute – to entice 'Johns' to solicit sexual favors for pay, so that Vice could bust them," Nick snarled back.
"Well, she looks…"
"Stop!" Nick interrupted. "Think about your next words, if you want to sleep here tonight."
"What? I was just going to say…" Judy stopped, as the fox's words finally sank in.
"You do not want to judge a book by its cover. She's bright, she's hard working…"
"And she's both pretty and has a strong scent. And those are facts, Nicholas Piberius!"
"Yes, she is those things, too. But she's also alone in the big city for the first time, and she is homesick and lonely. I thought that you'd be able to extend a helping hand to her, too. "When I took her to the Lion's Den after work, I managed to get her to open up just a bit. You know what she told me?"
"No…"
"That she was looking forward to working in Zootopia, 'where predator and prey lived together and get along, even to singing Kumbaya together'."
Judy buried her face in her hands. "Please tell me that you didn't criticize her for saying that."
"No – I didn't give her the speech I gave you. No, 'woopsies'. After the way things worked out for you – I thought that maybe, just maybe, shooting the moon wasn't always that bad an idea."
"As in, 'a mammal's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for'?
"You're getting there. But if you think you had a tough time starting here, Lieutenant Judith Laverne Hopps…"
"What! How did you…"
Nick grinned – but his grin was anything but friendly. "Thank 'Officer Fuchs' for that one."
"What did miss tail-to-one-side-for-you do? Hack personnel records?"
Nick stared at Judy, his muzzle wrinkled up. "I will forget you said that. And no, Edda did not hack anything. She asked her father – who asked around. And it seems that someone knew someone else who lived not too far from Bunnyburrow. Did you know that Gideon Grey was also something of a gossip?"
"Oh, sweet cheese and crackers!"
"Now, are you going to retract that last statement?"
"Nick – I'm sorry, I spoke without thinking. You've been working these last two weeks, and I didn't get out of the hospital until today. And you've been working with … Edda … most of that time. And I didn't want to 'share' our time together with … her."
"I can assure you that I am not really interested in a sexual or romantic relationship with Edda – I'd like to be her friend. But I'd like you to be her friend too. She needs it – and she is a nice person."
"Nick – I can try. And I'll start by apologizing to her for my standoffishness tonight. But I'm going to ask her not to dig into my past – and to not spread around what my middle name is."
Nick chuckled. "Actually, it isn't that bad, as middle names go."
"Will you promise not to spread it around?"
Nick struck a brace and crossed his heart. "Cross my heart, sweetheart. Though I can't guarantee that I'll never use it when we're in private, 'Jude the Dude'."
Judy buried her face in her hands again. "Where did you hear that one?"
"Your sister told me – when she was nursing me back to health."
"I'll kill her. I will just plain kill her!"
"Don't go too hard on your sister, Carrots. But do you think you're over your mad, now?"
"Not just yet, Nick. But I'll deal with it. My rump still hurts a bit, though – so I'm going to be 'on top' tonight."
Nick rolled his eyes. It was clearly going to be a "fight and make up" night.
The Morning after the Night Before, Nick's Apartment
Nick dragged himself out of bed – with only a perfunctory growl at the "thief-of-blanket" rabbit, who was encased in a cocoon of blankets, top sheet and (this time) the bottom sheet as well. I'm going to have to remake the bed. Again. Twice in just one week. There is no justice!
Nick muttered to himself about the injustice of it all, all the way to the shower. He turned on the spray and stood under it until he was soaked through to the skin. The water was lukewarm, but the spray was intense. The one good thing about getting up early is beating the other tenants to the limited high pressure water. The roof tank will be nearly dry in an hour – and the pressure here will drop off to near nothing. The disadvantage of living in a rent-controlled apartment is that there's no real incentive for the owners to upgrade amenities. The good side is that if I had an apartment this big that wasn't rent controlled, I'd be paying eight or ten times the rent.
Nick let out a bark of surprise as the cold air hit. "Come in or go out – but close the shower door in either case!"
"Hmmph! You're just hogging all the hot water!" Judy said, as she slid into the shower behind the fox. "Hand me the shower head – none of the spray is getting past you – you big lunk!"
"Great! The thief-of-blanket isn't satisfied with driving me out of my should-have-been-warm-bed. Oh, no! She has to steal my hot water, too!"
Judy slapped the fox at the base of his tail; Nick arched his back and let out a whoop of surprise before handing over the shower head. "Just be thankful that I had a more advanced head put in – or you'd have to wait your turn whenever you slept over."
"I'd have been up earlier if it hadn't been for a certain foxie who wanted … what did you call it? 'Sloppy…'"
"Let's not go there, Carrots, and say we did? You seemed perfectly happy with the idea of … how should I describe it? 'Repeat business'?"
Judy laughed, and began soaping up the fur on the fox's back. "Guilty as charged. But I didn't hear any objections from you!"
"I was too tired to say anything at that point."
"Except to call out 'Damnit, I've lost count!' sometime around 1 am, Nickie…"
"Well, I had! Ouch!" the fox arched his back as the rabbit smacked his rump with the back of the scrub brush. "That hurt!"
"You were using your 'brush' for something other than showing off your emotion just then, foxie boy! I thought we agreed to leave that for the bedroom."
"I never agreed not to show affection – except in public, when we're in uniform. And I wasn't trying to do anything crude…"
"Well, 'it's a story, anyway'. But where that tail of yours was rubbing is still a little bit sore after last night."
"I didn't touch the wound!"
"That is not what you were trying to rub with your brush, and you know it!"
Nick took a deep breath, and shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say – even with my back to you, I can't get you out of my mind – and you're overwhelming in this steamy environment. A steamy environment, I would point out to you, Carrots, that you cannot help but make even steamier."
Judy reached around and began soaping up the fox's ventral fur. "You can turn around, foxie, or I can continue this way – but I'll practically have to climb on your rump to reach everything…"
Nick turned around and settled down onto his haunches. "Ok, there – everything from my waist up is within easy reach. Just go easy on the sensitive spots, ok? After last night…"
"Did poor little foxie get worn down?"
Nick shook his head. "Not the way you're implying. But … let's just say that some things are a little sensitive, ok?"
"Should I kiss it and make it better?" Judy asked, and smirked.
Nick leaned back. "You're incorrigible, bun-bun."
"Payback is a bunny-doe, in case you hadn't learned that lesson yet…" Judy said, striking a pose and trying to look like the 'vamp'.
Nick couldn't help laughing … until his laughs turned to gasps and moans as the bunny proceeded to "attack". "Serves you right for laughing," she said, before neither mammal was interested in talking.
Saturday, Mid-Day, Nick's Apartment
"Nick – what is that mess you're making?"
"I call it 'glop'. It's quite nutritious."
"Ok – I can see that there are plenty of veggies – not what I'd expect you to eat. But that stuff?" Judy pointed at the ground meat. "Dare I ask?"
"It's ground up turkey. I brown the meat, then drain it and put it in the bowl over here. Then it's the tomatoes…"
"Those are fruits, not vegetables, Nick…"
"I don't care – they taste good."
Judy rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling.
"Then braise the Brussel sprouts, and the sliced up baby artichokes. When those are done, I sauté the mushrooms – three kinds of mushrooms."
"You didn't pick those yourself, did you? There are a lot of poisonous…"
"I bought them in the farmer's market, Wednesday."
"A farmer's market, here? In Foxtown? You must be joking!"
"Nope – seems someone decided it would be a good idea to get fresh produce to 'us voops'."
Judy winced when Nick used the 'v' word. "I thought you didn't like that term."
"I don't – but … just as a bunny can call another bunny cute, a fox can call himself - or another fox – a 'voop'. Intonation is important, though. I can express love, or undying enmity or both at the same time, just by tone of voice and undertone."
"Undertone?"
"How I growl – or snarl. When I growled at you last night…"
"I thought that was an expression of almost-uncontrolled passion!"
'It was, Carrots. But I could just as easily have scared you half to death with my growl."
"Humph! Not now you couldn't!"
Nick laughed. "Because I don't really feel like it. But remember when I said just a few words to you – a bit over a year ago?"
"Wha?"
"Oh, there's a them, now?" Nick said, his muzzle wrinkled up in a snarl and his pupils narrowing down to pinpoints focused on the lapine doe in a predator-on-prey glare his claws sliding out of their sheaths.
Judy jumped back nearly two meters, one held palm out. Nick shook himself, took a deep breath, and smirked at the bunny. "Gotcha! It's all in tone-of-voice and undertone."
Judy took a deep, calming breath. "Be still, my beating heart! That was just an act … wasn't it?"
"It wasn't then – it was just now. But I was making the point that depending on tone and intonation, I can change the perception from 'this is love and passion' to 'this is danger incarnate'. It's all a matter of delivery."
"And I am reminded that you managed to act your way out of situations that would have put 'paid' to any other mammal."
"Hardly 'any other mammal'. Finnick can talk his way out of just about any situation, too. And if he can't talk his way out – with that voice of his – he's always got a baseball bat or similar object near at hand as an equalizer."
"As in 'what do you call a fennec with a four foot club. Sir?'"
"Got it, Carrots. But back to my 'glop' – with the tomatoes, braised vegetables, sliced green beans, and mushrooms in, I add the frozen stir fry mix from the super market and the spaghetti sauce. When everything is bubbling away nicely, and the flavors have all had a chance to blend, I add the ground turkey that I browned earlier. This 'glop' is enough to feed me for the better part of a week. For desert, I've got peaches, pippin apples, blueberries and seedless green grapes."
"You said that you went to a Farmer's Market … in Foxtown. When did this start up?"
"Oh, seems like a little farming co-op decided they wanted a reason to come up to the big city to visit … and make a little profit on the side. The Fuchs family and several other fox families in Podunk got together, and … presto! Fresh vegetables and fruit in the heart of Foxtown every Wednesday."
"You know, Nick, if you left out the ground turkey, that 'glop' of yours would be something that I wouldn't mind eating. I don't suppose that you could set aside a bit of it…"
"I had planned on it – that's why there are two storage containers on the counter, here. One for me – with meat – and one for my vegetarian partner."
"That's so sweet of you, Nick. I haven't had a chance to restock my small larder…"
"Ten or so days in the hospital will do that," Nick chuckled. "I can just imagine what your little produce drawer must have been like…"
"There were vegetables that were trying to evolve into higher forms of life," Judy said, her nose wrinkling as she remembered the smell that had greeted her when she'd open the mini-fridge the day before. "Anything on your plan for this afternoon – after you've finished making your dinners for the week, that is?"
"I was thinking we might go to the park, and just watch the clouds float by. Alone, together."
"You know you're an incredible romantic at heart?"
"Do I know that? Yes, yes I do…" Nick said, in a credible imitation of Judy's voice.
"Incorrigible – utterly incorrigible!" Judy muttered, as she walked out of the kitchenette into the living room, and stretched out and flopped face down on the couch.
