Okay, I'm posting the next chapter today to tell you that you (my readers) and I are VERY, VERY, EXTREMELY LUCKY.
My computer gave me: (duh, duh, DUUUUH!)
THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!
Wait for it…
THREE TIMES!
So, because I'm so very relieved, I'm posting this. Enjoy and REVIEW!
By the way, sorry for any confusion. Max and aren't pretend dating anymore- she already paid him the ten bucks. Ever since the coffee date, they've been kinda going out. Okay. Hope that clears things up.
desperatelyobvious: *read above* I dunno about the whole "dating and item" thing, but then I haven't reached that stage yet. And if you found that last chapter funny, then this one will have you cracking up.
maximum love: Yes. Read below.
P.S. I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. (You'll see…)
Recap:
"As leader of the flock, I now dub thee… FANG RIDE!" We all cheered, and I pulled Fang to his feet, kissing his cheek. "Welcome to the clan!" I giggled uncharacteristically.
"Glad to be here," he said sarcastically, but I could see true sincerity in his onyx eyes.
"Fang's coming over today!" I yelled down the hole, and I hopped after my echoes. Nudge hated it when I did that- she said you should grab onto the pole, and then go down, not vice versa. I preferred to just jump and then grab on about half-way to the bottom, so that you didn't go splat. Splatting was uncomfortable. I was a hypocrite, though, because I didn't let Angel or Gazzy do it. Oh, well.
What I didn't tell them was that he was bringing his brother Iggy. So when I opened the door I casually said, "Hi, Fang. Iggy."
"Fang!" three voices chorused from above. No, not angels, but there was Angel. Iggy decided to have a little fun with them.
"YO!" he bellowed, not sounding Fang-like at all. Three mucho confused heads popped out of the ceiling.
"Who are you?" Gazzy piped up.
"What do you mean? I am the Great and Emo Fang!" I had a hard time keeping myself from snorting, and even the real Fang had trouble not rolling his eyes. Then Nudge noticed Fang standing in the background.
"No, Fang is right there." She pointed at him, and Iggy turned around pretending to look for him. He turned back and faced Nudge.
"I can't see him," he said solemnly.
Nudge, not knowing of his blindness or of the fact that he was joking, scathingly replied, "What, are you blind or something?" I peeked at Iggy, not sure if he was offended.
But apparently this was the response he was hoping for. "What chu talkin' bout, girl? You ain't nevah seen a blind man be-fo?" (A/N: No offense to anyone. I wouldn't find it offensive, but… I don't get offended easily.)
"You're not black, Iggy," Fang said in a bored tone.
Iggy's sightless eyes widened. "What? Why didn't anyone tell me?" he said in his normal tone.
Meanwhile, Nudge focused on his eyes, then hers widened. "Oh, my gosh! I am sooo sorry! Oh, please don't be mad at me, I had no idea! I-"
"Hey, no harm done," Iggy smirked, stopping her frantic apology.
"Oh, good. I hate to think that I was so mean without even asking or knowing! I'm usually not like that-"
"Okay!" I said loudly. "Why don't we all introduce ourselves to Iggy here?" So they slid down and introduced themselves. Then Gazzy… well, he… he lived up to his name. We all ran out of the room, but Iggy collapsed and began clawing at the ground, dragging himself toward us.
"Gas—mask!" he gasped dramatically and dropped his head clutching his throat, pretending to be dead. Fang really did roll his eyes then.
"Get up, Iggy."
"I can't, I'm dead." Nudge, Angel, Gazzy, and I giggled at this.
"Then get un-dead."
"Like a vampire? Well, you'd have to bite me for that, Fangy-poo." We were cracking up now. Fang's expression wasn't helping. He wore a look that said quite plainly, "Not again."
"I don't know why you insist that I'm a vampire." Fang was irritated.
"Look at yourself! You dress all emo, girls constantly swoon over you, your eyes are black, unlike a normal human's… and remember that one guy that came up to you that day? 'Bite me, PLEASE! I don't want to live any more!'. Even your name! 'Fang'. How can you get more vampire-y than that? It's like you jumped right out of Twilight." We were clutching our sides.
"One, I dress fine. Two, you're jealous. Three, my eyes are perfectly normal. Four, that guy was a nut-job, and five, 'Iggy'? What are you, a fruit?" I couldn't breathe- the hysteria was too much for me to do anything but not roll around like Gazzy and Angel were.
"Pwned!" Gazzy managed to choke out in-between laughs. Iggy huffed.
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
We left the two pyros (against our better judgment) to themselves. What could go wrong? They didn't even know each other's addiction to fire. That was the absolute stupidest thing we could've done, because the next thing we knew…
BOOM!
And there goes our den.
Crap.
Apparently, Gazzy wanted to know how Iggy could make bombs when he was blind.
And thus, a beautiful friendship was formed. If by beautiful you mean extremely messy and explosive. Gazzy and Iggy were an unstoppable force. I was really beginning to worry for the safety of the public when we went out.
Nudge asked me how Iggy knew what Fang looked like. He answered from across the room:
"It's easy- I just eavesdrop on everyone's conversations. My hearing's way better than yours."
I kept that in mind whenever I was around him.
The next day it was Iggy's turn for initiation.
Oh, how wonderfully amusing this would be.
Nudge was the first to realize that Iggy was in need of initiation. We were all sitting in the semi-destroyed den when she suddenly gasped and started mouthing words frantically.
I don't know if you knew this, but as much as she talks, Nudge is terrible at mouthing things. So, as far as I could tell, she was saying,
"Fax! Eggy miss smart cough tea smock! Abbreviation! Sniggy peed abbreviation!"
I gave her a WTH expression. With an annoyed sigh, she ran out of the room.
"What was that all about?" the Gasman asked.
"She's obviously trying to tell us something," I glanced at Iggy. She must've been trying to keep it from him. But why? Then it hit me, and a wide, evil smile spread across my face.
"I dunno, she's kinda weird," Iggy pondered. Oh, Iggy. You have no idea what you're in for.
At that moment Nudge sprinted back into the room and thrust a piece of paper at me. It said:
INITIATION! :D
I wasn't sure about the whole smiley thing, but she was right about initiation. I held the paper up so that the flock could see it. Simultaneously they all smiled the same evil smile that I was wearing.
"Care to tell me what's going on?" Iggy said exasperatedly.
"Oh, you'll find out," I grinned even more evilly, if that's possible. "PART ONE, STAT!" I burst out suddenly, and we all tackled Iggy- even Fang.
"GAAH! YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! GET OFF ME!"
"Welcome to initiation, Iggy. If you survive, you'll be one of us. If you survive." I cackled.
"Hahahaheheheheh… I'm just gonna-" he bolted for the front door.
"AFTER HIM!"
Two small, blonde bundles of fury pounced on him from behind, knocking him to the ground.
"Now, we take the captive to the fourth floor!" I grabbed an Iggy leg. Fang grabbed the arm diagonal from me, Nudge grabbed the other leg, and Gazzy and Angel grabbed the last arm. We marched up the stairs. He struggled, but it was hopeless. We- minus Fang- had grown up restraining one another constantly. Iggy was an apprentice in a room of masters. Well, and Fang, but he had more practice being around us.
"Okay! Now, Iggy, this is very, VERY important." He nodded.
"Choose… the yellow bean bag or the blue one."
"Blue, DUH! Wait, a bean bag?"
"You got a problem with that?" it was Angel that spoke. Angel.
"Uh, nope; uh-uh, not at all. Er, what's part three?"
My eyes widened. "He's on to us! STAGE THREE, GO, GO, GO!"
Gazzy jumped onto Iggy's back and covered his mouth, the rest of us shoving him back, closing the door and pushing the sofa against it. "WE HAD MEXICAN AGAIN! POOR GAZZY CAN'T HELP HIMSELF! OH, WELL, YOUR PROBLEM NOW!"
"WHA-" he was cut off by his choking sounds. "What is THAT? It wasn't even this bad yesterday, and that was-"
More choking sounds. Then silence.
"So… who wants to play Go-Fish?"
Iggy log-rolled out of Gazzy's room when we un-barricaded it, coughing. He lay unmoving for a few minutes. I was about to poke him with my toe when:
"I don't think that even your vampire bite could bring me back this time, Fangy-poo."
Fang rolled his eyes. Again. "He's fine."
"Okay, then. Now for my favorite part! PART FOUR!" I explained part four to Iggy, and the rest of the flock slid down. I followed suit.
"WHEEEE!" Iggy was sliding down the pole, and landed in a power-slide. I snorted at the face he made while doing the air guitar. It was one of those Elvis Presley sneers, with your lip kinda curving upward.
It was so Iggy.
Finally, I tapped each of his shoulders. "As leader of the flock, I now dub thee… IGGY RIDE!"
We all cheered. Then Iggy got up, snatching the wand from my hands.
"I would like to thank a few people for this award. Without them, it wouldn't have been possible, and-" he frowned, his hand brushing the wand up and down. "Is this a… a wand? A sparkly wand?"
The flock burst out laughing at his expression.
"Yes, Iggy, yes it is. Welcome to the clan."
Life was perfect; I didn't let down my guard, but I relaxed and had fun after the first month of Dylan-free bliss. We hadn't seen hide nor hair of him since that day at the café.
Until we went to the carnival.
Pfft. You didn't think I could take the assassin dude out of the picture, did you? That'd be way too easy and un-suspenseful. NU- still 3/12/2011.
'Till next time!
-Lizzie
