Author's Note: This is the second installment of the Escape Route series, co-written by myself and my friend Nimeria. As always, we own nothing and no one except for ourselves. Enjoy reading! )

The Never-Ending Escape Route
Chapter Eight


Taylor: Right. Umm...

Sheppard: The frightening thing?

Taylor: Yeah. I mean, they mean well. They really do. And to be honest, with some other friends of ours these talks are necessary and-

Mary: (waves to get Taylor's attention) Breathe Taylor.

Jessie: Lack of breathing can cause you to die. (Giggles)

Taylor: (takes a deep breath) I'm probably freaking you out huh? I'll stop now. Just...don't take anything too literally okay?

Sheppard: (quite confused by now) Okay. We are still on for tomorrow right?

Taylor: (smiles) Of course, unless you change your mind.

Sheppard: I won't.

(Taylor walks off and she and Jessie head to the room the three girls will share to sleep. Mary walks over.)

Mary: Hi.

Sheppard: Uh, hi.

Mary: Should we talk somewhere not so open?

Sheppard: Do I need witnesses?

Mary: Nope.

(They walk back into the now deserted council room.)

Sheppard: So, what are we doing here?

Mary: It's this thing that we do. And since Taylor is one of my little ones, it seems fitting that I should give you the talk.

Sheppard: ...Talk?

Mary: Since you're dating her now.

Sheppard: I'm lost, and confused, and it's just one date. Dinner and a movie.
Mary: Do you not want it to be more?

Sheppard: Well, yeah I do, but-

Mary: So does she.
Sheppard: Oh.

Mary: Ok, here it goes. I fully approve of you dating Taylor, okay? I have nothing against you. Neither does Jessie. We both like you. Clear so far?

Sheppard: Yeah.

Mary: Good. Now, because you're dating Taylor, I have to tell you a few things. One, she really hates salads. They're far too healthy.

Sheppard: (doing his best to memorize this fact) Right. No salad.

Mary: Two, Jessie and I are going to hear all about the date, but Taylor can keep anything you want private from us, and we won't pry. Good so far?

Sheppard: (relaxing) Yeah. Why was Taylor afraid that you'd scare me?

Mary: Because I also have to say that if you cause her any undue pain, at all, I will be very angry. Very angry.

Sheppard: (uneasy) What do you mean?

Mary: I mean that if she comes to us crying, I'll let Jessie console her while I come looking for you. And I will make you pay for harming her. The least I do will be to have a talk with you about manners.

Sheppard: (swallows nervously) Do I want to know the most?

Mary: Castration.

Sheppard: Uh...right. Got it.

Mary: But I really don't see it coming to that.

Sheppard: O-okay.

Mary: Jessie and I really do want you to have a good time tomorrow ok? And remember, no salads. G'night.

(Mary walks off, leaving Sheppard staring after her.)

(Next morning at breakfast)

Rodney: So what did Mary want with you last night after the meeting anyway Sheppard?

Sheppard: What? Oh, that was the "Talk" I used to get from the dads of girls I dated. (To Ronon) You ever get stuff like that?

Ronon: All the time.

Teyla: Why would you get a talk like that from Mary?

Rodney: (scoffing) He's probably going off on some date with Taylor or Jessie tonight. (Awkward silence as Sheppard averts his eyes to look elsewhere) OH MY GOD!! You are! I can't believe you! Which one are you corrupting? Taylor? Jessie? (When Sheppard says nothing) BOTH?!

Teyla: Rodney, be quiet. Do not attract attention to this.

Ronon: So which one is it?

Teyla: Ronon!

Sheppard: It's Taylor.

Rodney: Huh. Didn't think you went for blondes.

Teyla: (she puts her hand to her head) You are hopeless.

Sheppard: Hey. Look, she's a nice girl ok?

Ronon: So what did she say?

Sheppard: That she'd be more than happy to have dinner and a movie.

Ronon: I meant Mary. The talk.

Sheppard: Oh. The usual I guess.

McKay: Like "Bring her back by eleven"?

Sheppard: Like treat her nice. And she doesn't like salad. And that she'd hurt me if I hurt Taylor.

Teyla: Hmm.

Ronon: (amused) Hurt you how?

Sheppard: (indignant) Nothing I couldn't handle, okay?

McKay: Threats. Boy, they must really like you.

Sheppard: Shut it, Meredith. Mary's just trying to protect Taylor.

Ronon: Are you admitting that she needs to protect Taylor from you?

Sheppard: What? NO!

Rodney: I think you are.

Sheppard: I am not. Why did I tell you guys about this in the first place?

Ronon: You didn't. McKay figured it out.

Teyla: Alright. Enough. Leave him be. I think it's very nice that they can enjoy this time of peace like this. May I ask what you plan on doing?

Sheppard: Dinner and a movie. The Princess Bride.

Rodney: You're watching the Princess Bride? As a date movie?!

Sheppard: It's a good movie, and she likes it.

Teyla: That's what counts. (Ronon and Rodney are snickering and she kicks them both under the table.)

Ronon: Hey!

Rodney: Ow! What was that for?!?

(Teyla gives them a look.)

Rodney: Fine. Hah. I'll bet you're planning to take her out to some apartment no one's using with a pretty view, aren't you?

Sheppard: The thought actually hadn't occurred to me. It's a good idea though. One of few. Thanks Meredith.

Rodney: Of course it-Hey... Stop CALLING me that!!! (Sheppard snickers) Kirk. (Muttered under breath)

Ronon: What are you planning on doing for food?

Sheppard: I have no idea. Preferably real food and no salad.

Teyla: I have noticed that they aren't incredibly particular about what they eat. I am sure that whatever you choose will go over fine.

Sheppard: Thank you, Teyla.

Rodney: Oh. Please. Don't even pretend you wouldn't be sitting here making fun of me to no end if the situation was reversed.

Ronon: He has a point you know.

Rodney: There. You see.

Sheppard: Whatever, Rodney, whatever. (The girls walk in and Sheppard smiles and waves them over)

Rodney: (sighing) much as I'd love to stay, I have things I need to do.

Teyla: Colonel, do not forget that we have stave practice today. Please be there. (She gets up and leaves with Rodney)

Ronon: Finish eating Sheppard. (The girls sit) We're running today.

Sheppard: But-

Ronon: We're running. (Grabs him and drags him away)

Taylor: Well that was odd.

Jessie: No. That was something we would do.

Mary: You know, it kind of was.

(Later that evening)

(Sheppard is leaning against a wall in a more deserted part of the city. He is wearing jeans and a black t-shirt instead of his uniform. He has a picnic basket in one hand and his laptop bag slung over a shoulder. Taylor joins him shortly wearing a skirt and a nice shirt)

Sheppard: Hey. (He stands and smiles in greeting)

Taylor: Hey. Sorry about the clothes. Mary said I should wear a skirt but… I don't like skirts, so it was a bit of an argument that she eventually won.

Sheppard: Ah. No. It's fine. I don't care. I'm a little curious as to where you got the change of clothes, though.

Taylor: Oh. That. Well, I'm not entirely sure myself. Mary and Jess just kind of threw clothes at me when I was getting ready. That's why I'm late.

Sheppard: Ah. Got it. Ready to go?

Taylor: Yep. (She glances at the picnic basket) Is that dinner?

Sheppard: Yep. Come on. (She follows him deeper into the city in a slightly awkward silence)

Taylor: So…um…Where are we going?

Sheppard: (grinning) You don't want Mary to be able to find us right? (She nods) We're going to the least used part of the city. Or at least the most remote part of the city that we know is safe. Meredith told me about it this morning. (He smirks evilly as she gives the expected response)

Taylor: Meredith? Who's Meredith?

Sheppard: Rodney. (She blinks in surprise)

Taylor: Really?

Sheppard: Yep. (She giggles)

Taylor: You know, I had a coach who had us call him Eric who's real name was Miriam. (He looks at her and laughs; the awkwardness fades a way as they start talking about odd names of people they know and some of the more interesting stories that resulted from those names. Eventually they reach their destination. Sheppard opens a door off the hall way and leads her into an apartment of sorts.)

Sheppard: This area of the city has some of the nicer rooms, but it's so far out that for the time being, using them really isn't practical. They're nice though.

Taylor: (glancing around) Yeah. They really are. (She sits at the table he gestures her towards as he drops the laptop on the bed)

Sheppard: I'll set that up later. (He goes to sit across from her at the table and starts pulling things out of the picnic basket)

Taylor: So what are we eating? (He grins at her)

Sheppard: Not salad. (She smiles sheepishly)

Taylor: So that was part of the talk Mary gave you. How bad was it by the way?

Sheppard: Don't worry about it. I've had worse, and I think I would be more worried if she wasn't that protective.

Taylor: (almost to herself) Jessie wanted to follow us you know.

Sheppard: I didn't know. (He hands her a sandwich) It's not much but the cooks are in a mood right now.

Taylor: (looking at it) Turkey? (She laughs) I should have known. (They share a smile and eat, conversing over various topics that include things like flying and life in Atlantis.)

Sheppard: I have a couple of questions before we start the movie.

Taylor: (packing away the food stuffs and drinks while he sets up the laptop so that they can sit on the bed and watch the movie) Oh? I can't promise I have answers but…shoot Sheppard.

Sheppard: Okay, first, why do you keep calling me Sheppard?

Taylor: Jessie and I had this conversation earlier today. I just think it sounds weird for me to be calling you John already is all.

Sheppard: Call me Shep then. Sheppard is too…military.

Taylor: (chuckling softly) Shep it is then. What else?

Sheppard: The three of you seem to be really close and I was wondering…

Taylor: We met in High School. Jess and I were on the Tennis team together. She was my first friend my freshman year. Later, she introduced me to Mary and our other friends. We hit it off immediately. Mary was the oldest of our little group, well, except for Gimpy, but Mary always seemed to be in charge. We kind of decided we were "The Supreme Overlord Clan" and Mary is our Supreme Overlord. Jessie and I just seem to think along the same thought waves on a constant level so they decided that we were twins and the rest is history.

Sheppard: Oh.

Taylor: That was confusing wasn't it?

Sheppard: Yeah. Just a bit.

Taylor: Sorry. Um…Right. Jessie and I are just really close and are as alike and yet different as Identical Twins can be and Mary keeps us from wreaking havoc on the Universe. Does that make more sense?

Sheppard: …Not really. But I guess that just fits your personality.

Taylor: (looking surprised) You know most people don't get that at all. They try to make us make sense, try to make us fit into a box.

Sheppard: I know what you mean. This is Atlantis, though. If ever there was going to be a place outside of the box where people can just be themselves, this is it. That's part of why I like it here. This is ready to go now. (He points towards the Laptop where the main menu for Princess Bride is displayed) I have one other question, but it can wait.

Taylor: (moving to sit next to him on the bed) You sure? You've told me so much about yourself, I feel a little like I'm cheating here.

Sheppard: Nah. It's fine. Later. I like this movie. (The two of them get comfortable, and he hits play and they become absorbed in the movie. Around the time Inigo and Fezzik visit Miracle Max, Taylor slumps sideways onto his shoulder and mumbles softly)

Sheppard: Hey, you alright? (He tilts her slightly to see her face and realizes she's fallen asleep) Still worn out, huh? I don't blame you. (He moves her so she is lying on the bed.) You'll probably be upset about this in the morning; you seem like the kind of person who would be. (He turns the movie off and moves that laptop away before settling himself on the couch.) All the same, you're the lady, I'm the man, and Mary would kill me if this went any other way. Night. (He thinks the lights off and drifts off to sleep himself.)