Author's Note: In Canon, the story starts mid school year: the morning fights have been going on for a while and Ranma and Akane are 16. In this story, they hit Nerima in the second week of school (April) so none of Akane's class has turned 16 and Kunou hasn't made his proclamation yet.

I decided to make Ranma's birthday December 7 because it amuses me. As far as I know it was never given in Canon. It was probably earlier in the year, however. It's difficult to settle when things are in Canon because it's always Summer unless it's Christmas (like in most manga and comics).


Naruto followed along behind Akane who was stomping home angrily and Ranma who was once again walking on the fence. Naruto might have tried walking on the fence, but Akane was moving too fast for him to be trying something new.

"You know, that idiot's pronouncement is kind of like how the Amazons do it?" Naruto commented to Ranma.

"I was thinking the same thing," said Ranma. "Makes me glad we told them we weren't doing the 'Kisses.' Not that any of those clowns could beat me normally, but one of them might get lucky."

"Amazons? Kisses?" Akane asked.

"Yeah, there's a tribe of warrior women in China not too far from Jusenkyo," Naruto said. "They call themselves 'The Tribe of Hero Women,' but everyone else calls them Amazons."

"Naruto and I got ourselves adopted by helping to save a girl our age from these creeps called the Musk that kidnap women for wives," Ranma added.

Naruto snickered. "Ero-sennin got given the 'Kiss of Marriage' for saving the girl's mom."

"You can also be given the 'Kiss of Marriage' as an Outsider male if you beat one of their women in a fight," Ranma said. "If an Outsider female beats an Amazon, she gets given the 'Kiss of Death,' which is a promise to hunt her down and kill her." She shuddered. "That's just wrong."

Akane just stared at them. "You let yourselves be adopted by those weirdoes? Do they know you're really boys?"

"At first they didn't when Shaanpu gave us the 'Kiss of Sisterhood,' but they figured it out. They were nice, just some of their customs with Outsiders are creepy."

"Shampoo?" Akane giggled. "Like the English word for shampoo?"

"I don't know," said Ranma. "I've not had enough school to be good with English."

Naruto shrugged. "Never heard of English."

"So what did Jiraiya say about the 'Kiss of Marriage?'" Akane asked.

"Something dorky like he couldn't accept because he was 'too much man for one woman,'" said Naruto.

"Our adopted Amazon mom, Jeiru, seemed to take it pretty seriously," Ranma added.

"Gel?" Akane giggled. "Are they all named like that?"

"The others that we got to know were Geiru's grandma, Koron, and Shaanpu's friend Muusu," Naruto said.

Akane almost fell over laughing. "Shampoo, Gel, Cologne, and Mousse. Those are all English names for hair care products—except for Cologne, that's perfume for men. Are you sure those are their names?"

Naruto nodded. "Well, get it out of your system. I wouldn't be too surprised if they followed us here. I imagine they wouldn't be happy with you making fun of their names."

"Okay," she said. "I see what you mean. Well, I'm glad you managed to get me to forget that idiot Kunou for a little bit, anyway."


When they got back to Akane's house Naruto and Ranma did their evening spar and training. Akane managed to talk Naruto into sparring with her, but Ranma tried to brush her off.

"You're teaching her!" Akane said, pointing to Naruto.

"But she's really. . ." Ranma started to say, but thought better of it. Kushina was really loud and once she got going she didn't stop.

At least you're learning, the designated woman snickered in his thoughts. I'd appreciate it if you had a more legitimate reason for stopping your chauvinism, however.

"I guess it would be alright," he finished. "Pop is going to harp on this though."

"Your pop would harp on you regardless," Naruto said.

Ranma still went easy on her, much to Akane's vocal displeasure.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much Akane," Naruto said. "Ranma goes easy on me too. I think it's her way of making the fight interesting."

"Well yeah," Ranma said. "It's no fun if the fight ends too soon."


That night after everyone had gone to bed, Ranma talked Naruto into a night run as foxes.

"Ranma, you know I don't like 'going fox,'" Naruto whined.

"Come on, Imouto," Ranma said with a grin. "You know you like it. It's been too long since we've last done this."

"That's part of the problem," Naruto grumbled.

"Does this mean you're going to spend time as a girl after you can unlock your curse?" Naruto asked with a countering grin.

"That's different," Ranma grumbled.

"I thought so," Naruto said with a smirk.

"Whatever," said Ranma. "We're still going."

She grabbed Naruto and dragged him outside.

"Fine," he finally said. Reluctantly he shifted to his small fox form.

They ran through the dark neighborhoods until they found a large park. Ranma led him through the trees and up into the playground equipment.

"Doesn't this feel good?" Ranma asked. Genma had been quite irked to find out that they could speak in animal form.

"I admit that it does," Naruto said reluctantly, "but I still hate the idea of it." Then he snickered. "You can't tell me you don't enjoy beating on your father as a foxgirl, too."

"I admit that the extra speed and strength are nice, and the tails can be useful, but I don't actually like being a girl," Ranma protested.

"You can't tell me you don't like the fact that when your father calls you a girl, you can actually make him regret it while being a girl," Naruto said.

Ranma smirked. "He just says it's the magic and whines at me to 'stop cheating and fight like a man.'"

"He should know: Anything Goes, right?" Naruto smirked.

"Right!" Ranma agreed.

"Think there are still some squirrels still awake that we can chase?" Ranma asked after a moment.

"You're getting way too into this, Neechan," Naruto complained.


The next morning, when Akane and the two cursed boys arrived at school they found a horde of boys waiting for them.

"We love you, Akane! Date with us!" they shouted before they rushed her.

"What?" she yelled. "I didn't agree to Kunou's stupid pronouncement."

She started clobbering any boy who came within reach. Ranma joined in and Naruto did as well as they bracketed Akane as she waded through the boys in an attempt to reach the school doors.

"I can fight my own battles," Akane said waspishly.

"Yes, but why should you?" Naruto answered. "You didn't agree to the terms; so why should you go along with it?"

"Besides," said Ranma. "Why should you have all the fun?"

"You think this is fun?" Akane snapped.

"Huh," Ranma mused. "You're right. These guys are awful. It's not worth the time it takes to beat them down."

A few minutes later only Ranma, Naruto, and Akane were standing. Ranma was bored, his potential fiancée was furious, and his 'sister' was bemused.

"Usually it's a bunch of me fighting. It's weird to be on the other side of it," Naruto commented.

"Huh?" Akane said.

"She has a ki trick where she can make a bunch of fragile copies of herself," Ranma commented.

"Ero-sennin asked me to keep a low profile, so I haven't used it since I've been here," Naruto explained.

As they stepped forward, Kunou stepped out from behind a tree again. He threw a rose toward Akane. Ranma swatted it out of the air.

Kunou spoke pompously, "Maiden, while you are fair, that flower was intended to show my pure intentions toward the beauteous Tendou Akane. May I know your name?"

Ranma started to answer. "I am . . ."

Kunou interrupted her. "Ah, but it is courteous to introduce oneself first. I am the Rising Star of Furinkan High School. New Champion of the High School Kendo circuit, Kunou Tatewaki, age 16. I see that you are a spirited lass. Let us duel for love. If you win, I will allow you to date with me. If you lose, I will take you on a date with me."

"Wait," said Akane with a little bit of hope in her voice. "Does this mean you'll leave me alone?"

"Fierce Tendou Akane, I could never let our love die. Luckily, I have enough love for you both, or maybe all three? I could never separate twins."

All three of them looked at him disgustedly—Ranma most of all.

Ranma opened his mouth to say something, but Naruto grabbed his arm.

She shook her head. "I know that look, Neechan. You were about to do something stupid."

"He challenged me," Ranma said, as if that explained it.

"Didn't you listen to the terms, Idiot?" Naruto said. "The only way to win is not to play."

Ranma struggled within himself. Years of reflexes drilled into him by his pop about accepting all challenges fighting with Naruto's simple logic.

"You're right," he said finally. He turned to Kunou. "I decline your challenge until you present acceptable terms."

"But. . ." Kunou said as the three turned away from him and marched the building.


As they were walking home from school, Akane asked, "Do you think that's the end of it?"

Ranma shook her head, "I doubt it. Kunou seems especially slow. His type never stops."

"I don't know about the horde," Naruto said, "but I agree with Neechan about Kunou."

"What do you think I should do?" the dark-haired girl asked.

"I think you should make a public vow to never date anyone involved in the morning assaults," Naruto said.

"Might work for the horde," Ranma said, "but I doubt it will sway Kunou. I also think we're about at the end of where walking away from him works."


The next morning the horde of boys was waiting for them in the school courtyard. They shouted "We love you, Akane!"

Ranma sounded a foghorn on a loudspeaker that Akane had rented from Nabiki. He handed it to Akane who used it to drown out the shouting boys.

"I vow that I will never date any of the perverts who participate in these attacks. Neither will my two friends and I strongly encourage the other girls in our school to make the same vow. You are little better than rapists. My friends will back me up if one of you gets a lucky shot in."

"No chance of me dating these guys to begin with," Ranma muttered to himself.

About a third of the horde slunk away. Naruto held out her palm for the loudspeaker. "In addition to our fists, today we will each be armed with these!" She held up a stamp. "A stamp with the kanji for 'Prospective Rapist' and a permanent ink pad. Have fun explaining it to your parents." She gave a horrifying laugh.

Half the remaining boys slunk off. The rest looked at each other and decided they didn't have a chance with their lower numbers. One of the braver boys stepped forward and bowed. "We apologize for the inconvenience. Kunou convinced us that you would be flattered by the attention. The morning contests will not continue."

"That boy is insane!" Ranma yelled. "Why would you listen to anything he says?!"

As the three marched up to the school, Kunou once again appeared from behind a tree. "Those of faint heart never won fair maidens!" he pronounced. "You are better off without those cowards. Now we are free to show our love. . ."

The three kept walking.

Kunou grabbed Naruto's arm, who had the misfortune of the being the closest to him.

Naruto shrieked loudly and then started wailing. "He touched me. The horrid creep touched me. When will I feel clean again?" The blonde made a huge overwrought scene which caused the kendoist to withdraw due to the glares of all the girls in the courtyard and a large number of the boys.

Ranma inked his stamp and threw it hard. It hit Kunou's forehead and bounced off, leaving the kanji behind.

"You really don't have any shame do you, Imouto?" Ranma asked as they entered the building.

Naruto grinned at him. "Shame is a weakness. If you're willing to embarrass yourself, usually everyone else is embarrassed too."

"I was certainly embarrassed," Akane muttered.


Thursday morning, the courtyard was empty of boys seeking to date Akane. Akane exchanged a smile with the two fox sisters as they entered the courtyard. Kunou again appeared. Ranma noticed happily that his forehead was red and a little raw looking from scrubbing the ink off of it. Kunou tossed a rose. Ranma batted it out of the air again. The three ignored the speech he was offering. As they avoided Kunou, Naruto hung back just a little so that Kunou would have to deal with her first again.

This time when Kunou grabbed her, she gave an ear-piercing shriek and kept holding it.

Ranma once again nailed Kunou in the forehead with a stamp.

While everyone was holding their ears, Ranma and Akane made a run for the school. Naruto stopped and quickly followed them once they were almost to the building.


Friday morning, Kunou tried to go around Naruto but she sprayed him with pepper spray.

At lunch, Ranma talked the others into eating outside rather than in their classroom. After they had all seated themselves under a tree. Kunou approached them.

Naruto reached into a pocket, but Kunou said, "Stay your hand she-devil, I have no interest in you."

Ranma exchanged a high five with his 'sister.'

"The mercenary sister of the fierce Tendou Akane has informed me that her sister is under a grievous engagement to the cousin of the fair Ranma and devilish Naruto."

Ranma snorted. "It's their Pops' idea and it isn't decided which Tendou sister will fulfill the engagement."

"Who else could it be but the fair Akane?" Kunou shouted. "It is not to be bourn! Tell your cousin to meet me tomorrow after school and we will battle for the fierce Tendou Akane's hand!"

"Fine!" Ranma said. "He'll be there."

"Ranma," Akane hissed as she hit him in the thigh, hard. "You can't give me away like that! I'm my own person."

"Right," he said as he rubbed his thigh. He called so that Kunou could hear him, "We don't agree to your terms, because he doesn't have the ability to give away Akane's hand, but he will be there because you're an obnoxious jerk."


Akane was irritated because she thought that Ranma was "stealing her fight."

"You can't fight him," Naruto said, "and Ranma can't as a girl either. Haven't you heard him talk? If a girl fights him, he'll think she owes him a date. He'll never stop obsessing."

"I guess," said Akane, frustrated, "but I don't like it."


Saturday was a half day at school. After school, Ranma used some of her 'boy time' in order to be male as he went out to the field to meet Kunou. Naruto tagged along beside Akane. He kept his girl guise so that it wouldn't appear that Akane's new friends had completely abandoned her.

Kunou was waiting in the field holding a pose that Naruto thought made him look ridiculous.

"Where is the fiery Ranma?" asked Kunou. "Surely she wishes to behold my victory so that she may be free to proclaim her love!"

Ranma looked green.

"My sister holds only apathy for you, Kunou," Naruto said. "Akane and I are only here to support my cousin in introducing you to pain."

"I, Kunou Tatewaki, the Rising Star of Furinkan High School, challenge you to a duel for the hand of the fierce and beauteous Tendou Akane!"

"I am Saotome Ranma, heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts," Ranma said. "For the engagement you'll have to talk to Mr. Tendou and my pop. I didn't have anything to do with arranging it and I doubt they would let me out of it if I tried. Also, it's not decide yet which of the Tendou sisters will fulfill it. I'm only here to get you to stop harassing my cousin and Akane because they asked you to stop. They would fight you themselves, but you've always set disagreeable terms for the matches."

Naruto heard some murmuring about Ranma having the same name as his girl form. One of the girls near him asked him about it, but he simply answered, "It's a family name."

"Coward!" Kunou proclaimed. "You are unwilling to put your love on the line!"

"It's an arranged marriage," Ranma growled.

"I strike," Kunou said as he lunged forward with a wakizashi-sized bokken.

Ranma dodged out of the way. Kunou kept lunging and Ranma kept dodging. Kunou was faster than Naruto had thought he would be, but still well below Ranma's speed. He did notice that a few near misses still ruffled Ranma's clothes in an odd way.

"Stop toying with him Ranma!" Naruto shouted.

Ranma's next dodge set him up for a strike at Kunou's bokken. Naruto was surprised that the bokken survived the hit.

"I've seen him shatter hardwood with a hit like that," he said to Akane. "I wonder what Kunou's done to it to strengthen it?"

"Ranma's not going to lose now, is he?" asked one of Akane's other friends, worriedly. Naruto thought her name was Sayuri.

"Nah," Naruto said. "Ranma's got the fight in hand. He's just playing with him—which is his biggest weakness in a fight. It's only that Kunou is better than we thought he would be. Ranma's still far better."

Ranma's next move was to strike at Kunou's wrist. This time Kunou dropped the bokken which Ranma kicked so that it sailed over everyone's head.

"Knave!" Kunou shouted. "How dare you separate a samurai from his sacred weapon!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "How can this guy be for real?"

"He's always been like this. The rest of his family isn't any better," Sayuri commented.

Ranma grabbed Kunou's arm and threw him over his shoulder. He kept contact with his arm and held the samurai wannabe in on the ground with his knee on his back and his arm in an arm-bar submission hold.

"You lose, Kunou," he said.

"Never!" Kunou yelled "My righteous cause can never admit defeat! I have simply not won yet."

"Is there anyone here who thinks this match is not over?" Ranma asked.

"I do! I will vanquish you yet, Knave!" Kunou shouted. The audience was silent.

"Looks like you're outvoted, Kunou," Ranma said.

"Samurai do not submit to a vote, Fool," Kunou responded.

"Samurai have honor," said Akane. "You do not. Admit your loss, Sempai." She snarled the honorific.

Naruto uncapped a permanent marker and wrote "Honorless Dog" on Kunou's forehead.

"Stay back, She-Devil," Kunou said. "What lies do you write on me now?"

"No lies, Honorless Dog," Akane said.

Ranma released him and stood up. The three of them plus a few of Akane's friends began to walk away. The crowd dispersed.

At the front of the school, Akane and Naruto said goodbye to Sayuri and the other girl, Yuka.

As they turned toward Akane's house, Naruto's danger sense went off. He could feel Ranma move beside him, pulling Akane out of the way.

"You really are an honorless dog, aren't you?" Ranma said to Kunou who had tried to split his head open with his recovered bokken.

"Fool," Kunou said angrily. "I said the match wasn't over. Like a coward, you have vacated the field of honor."

"You're dead meat, Dog," said Ranma, growling.

"Ranma only growls when he's mad," Naruto murmured to Akane.

Ranma proceeded to beat Kunou unconscious. "If this is the only way to make you stay down, you can enjoy your concussion, Dog."

"You think this is the end of it?" Akane asked.

"I really don't think so," answered Naruto.


Sunday morning, Jiraiya pulled Naruto and Ranma aside. "I'm off. Got to check up on things back home. Like I said before, I should be gone three or four weeks. Are you two going to be okay without me?"

"We'll be okay, Ero-sennin," Naruto responded. "I still think you're leaving to use your cursed form to peep, though."

"Bah," Jiraiya responded. "I don't need to leave to do that. Plenty of public baths here."

Naruto swung at him, but missed. "Bad Ero-sennin," she said.

"You're coming along well with your exercises," said Jiraiya to Ranma. "You might even be able to channel enough chakra to manifest your seals by the time I get back. If you do, Naruto can teach you the 'Academy Three' techniques."

Ranma was excited at the thought of new techniques.

"I'll do it, no problem," he said. "After that, how long do you think it will be until I can unlock the curse?"

"A couple of months, maybe?" Jiraiya guessed. "I set the release seal a little high, just to make sure there isn't a problem. The 'Academy Three' are E-rank techniques. The seal should be releasable once you have enough organized chakra and control to do an average B-rank."

He said to Naruto, "You can also start her on chakra control techniques. Start with Leaf Sticking. Once she can do the 'Academy Three' you can teach her Tree Walking and Water Walking."

"What if she's like me and can't do the Clone Technique?" Naruto asked.

"That shouldn't happen since she's just developing her coils. Although you might have trouble teaching it, since you still don't have enough control to do it. If she has trouble with it for more than a week, just skip it. Don't teach her Shadow Clones until she can unlock the curse though, since it's a B-rank and dangerous to try without enough chakra," he added seriously.

Jiraiya said goodbye to the Tendou family and then left.