Melissa
As I come home, nothing has changed. And for a very short moment, I'm almost disappointed about it. A very short moment, though, and then I'm relieved to be home again, in my home, and that I can feel safe…
…just that I've been safer today. I force myself to stay calm and put my cell on the table. It's hard not to look at it every minute. I file through my pictures instead, thinking about getting some of them printed at least.

He's on it. Jamie's on one of my photos, at the right side, almost out of the picture. Next to him is a man he seems to know from the smile on both their faces, opposite to the man behind them. He looks as if he's ready to kill somebody.
I quickly try to locate the picture, it's somewhere between Brooklyn Bridge and Chinatown, I guess. I check if I know somebody else on the picture, but truth is I don't really care anymore. There's a woman watching the guy with daggers in his eyes that kind of strikes familiar, but I'm not sure. Could be anyone. And I couldn't care less.
There it is, my beloved smile. Jamie's smile. I can't help but smiling back at it. Maybe I should print it out and…

The doorbell breaks up my smile and shoves me back into cold reality. My breath gets stuck in my throat and I try to swallow it down as I fumble for the keys. They're lying right beside my quiet cell. No call. I've got to be strong now. Whoever it is out there, I mustn't be scared of him just because he wants to talk to me. There's no need to get paranoid, I've got enough real problems here.
Alright that's not making me feel better. I hold the keys in my hand like a knife as I slowly sneak to the door and look through the spyhole.

God I'm stupid.
It's Jamie.
I shake with laughter immediately, at both myself for being such a coward and at him for – for simply being here, I guess. He's here. Okay, he will be here with me as soon as I manage to open the door. I try to keep an earnest face as I unlock the door. Grinning like crazy is never a good start, and I've watched myself dozens of times every morning – I do grin like crazy. And I don't wanna be crazy anymore.

He's here. He's really come to visit me. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach dancing in a whirlwind, almost making me fly with them.
"Hey" I say as I open the door and then

Then I see the sergeant approaching right behind him.
God I'm stupid. He's not here for me.
From one second to the other I feel the butterflies die and fall down and becoming bile that rises in my throat. I'm shivering, but I don't know if it's hot or cold around me. Doesn't matter.
"Hey" I croak again as I step aside so Jamie can get in. I avoid his glance, I don't want to see the pity in it. I don't need him. I'm a Samuels. I don't need a rookie cop to look after me.

"Is there anything wrong?" I ask the sergeant, and I can tell he's surprised I'm addressing him now. "Well, I… " He looks to Jamie as if asking for help but I don't follow his glance.
"Actually we just wanted to check up on you. See if that… you know… thing has appeared again."
"Thing?" I wonder how cold my voice can sound. Cold and rich and full of contempt. If Clarice could hear me now she'd be proud of me.
It's that very sound, actually, that makes me take a breath. I will never be like her, for nobody, no matter what happens. I love my brother, and I know he's happy with Clarice and that's why I keep my feelings at bay, but I will never get to like her. And I will never be like her.
"There's nothing" I say with my usual voice, shy and soft, weak but at least it's mine. I'm still me, Melissa Samuels, fallen for a cop with a law's degree and puppy eyes. Sad story but it's my problem alone.
"What do you mean, nothing?" The sergeant obviously hasn't noticed the change in my voice or behavior, and I'm thankful for it.
"I mean that since yesterday everything's been quiet. I went outside this morning and… when I came back everything was normal." Now I can feel the old desperation coming up again. I know how I sound. I know he can't believe me, not when he's not wanting to be called nuts too.
"It's not a thing, though" I try to defend myself, "it is a person. I may be not the most rational of all people but I'm not" I swallow as I feel tears in my throat, "I'm not crazy. Please. I know you can't come here every time, I know there's more important things to do out there, I understand, but please! Please believe me. I am not crazy. Not that way."
I still don't look at Jamie but the last words were directed to him as well. Please believe me, and please don't treat me like a sick and sheepish child.

The sergeant looks at me for a long time, then nods. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. You're not crazy." I can't tell if this is a joke or if he's serious right now – neither his voice nor his face gives him away. Which is scary in its own way.
"So if there's nothing wring right now we'd better go." He nods towards Jamie and walks to the door. I move back to the stairs as Jamie passes me, avoiding both his eyes and his hand, reaching out ever so slightly as if to touch me.

"Miss?" The older man is already half out of the house but I now can read his face. He means what he says now: "Don't you ever hesitate to call us when you're feeling threatened. We come here and get the guy, that's fine. We come here and nothing's wrong, then at least nothing's wrong."

I nod as I manage a smile and close the door.
Five steps. It's five steps to the couch and the table where the pictures lay, small but sharp cut, and for a very short moment I wonder if Jamie has seen himself on them.

Then I sweep them all to the ground and break down crying.

Jamie
I'm not really sure what I've done wrong but I feel terrible. It's as if no matter how hard I try I only hurt Melissa more. This shouldn't be, and I shouldn't care that much. As we get into the car all I want to do is calling her, but with Renzulli listening it won't be helpful. And I don't even know what to say.
"That girl's a show!" The searge chuckles as he moves us out of the parking lot. "Honestly, Harvard. Your brother's gonna kill you. And me as well."
"What is it between you and Danny?" I'm tired of this fight going on, and I'm tired to be forced to take sides all the time.
Renzulli frowns. "Don't tell me you didn't get that?"
"Get what, searge?" I try not to sound as irritated as I feel. What did I do wrong? What happened? I thought Melissa'd trust me, I thought I'd finally created the bridge to get to her and help her. And now she avoided me like I was her stalker myself, as if she couldn't trust me. What did I do wrong?

"Oh Reagan." Renzulli sighs in exaggerated desperation. "You know there is one thing you brother Danny always gets. Well, got before he met his wife. And Joe was good at finding out, too. What do you kids learn at Harvard, honestly?"
I just look at him. Joe's name still hurts, but I've learnt to not think about the whole… thing too long.
So rather to distract myself I say "What do you mean , searge?"

Renzulli laughs before he answers. "She's jealous! Reagan you just broke your heart! I don't know why she was expecting you, and you better don't tell me or I'll have to report it, but hell she was assuming it was only you and her, and then you're coming with me. I think she wasn't really eager to see me there." His smile widens. "Oh that girl had daggers in her eyes. You really need to learn to look at some girls again! Just you know… don't take the crazy ones, right? You deserve better than that."

I failed her again.