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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (and not the clichés either)
Pairing: NaruSasu (and perhaps some others too)
Genre: Romance, Humor (hopefully), Parody and Drama
Summary: Sasuke is so in love with Naruto - his hard-on even poked the dobe's spine... too bad he's socially handicapped. Sasuke now has to go through every cliché in the book to make Naruto his! Help Sasuke on his way to love! Featuring Naruto! Sasuke! With romance! Drama! Parody! and Humor!
Origin of the fan fiction: I started writing this fan fiction two years ago, but lost my inspiration to continue it. Now however, I've gotten more inspiration than I'm able to use, so I've decided to continue writing this fan fiction! I've planned for a total of 22 21 chapters, and it's all based on the ideas I got from you guys back in ´09. But even though I've already planned the whole fiction, you still might be able to get your idea in it! What I want from you, is the stories you hate, the stories you loath, the stories that makes you think; come one, make up something new for fuck's sake! when you see them! I want all the clichés ever written, and those clichés will help Sasuke to get Naruto. Help Sasuke when you still got the chance! I won't guarantee that I'll use your suggestions, but I will try my best!
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A/N July 30th: Yay, another chapter! I think this one came out rather good, and I hope you'll find it funny. I was a little mean to Sasuke in the last chapter, and I hope I'll make up for it in this one. Don't forget to review – it's my fuel!
Enjoy!
~Bevino
An Uchiha's Striving
by bevino
Dedicated to NekoKriszty and Selvatori, who told Sai about the game"truth or dare"…
Do you dare?
After a couple of hours in the library, Sasuke came to the conclusion that he could find nothing there. At least nothing that could help him put a ring on Naruto's finger. He could find a lot of crap though. And for the last two hours, he had read utter crap.
When he had arrived to the library, he had been at complete lost. He had never really read any novels, and the few ones he had read had not been about romance. So he had swallowed his pride and asked the librarian if she could show him the most romantic book in the library. She had showed him a few, but one particular had caught his eye.
Pride and Prejudice, written by Jane Austen.
Pride. Sasuke really liked that word. Pride was everything Sasuke stood for, and the last thing he had left of his name. Never in his life had he forgotten about his pride. Never had he done something underneath it.
…at least not that much.
Sasuke had begun reading it, and read a lot of crap about some stupid mother, so he skipped those pages. He only stopped to read when the name "Mr. Darcy" was written – which was quite a lot really. And after the mentioned two hours, he put the book down with a frown.
This was complete shit.
Nothing, not a single thing, could help him get Naruto that way. Everything was so unbelievable, and it was clear that Jane Austen knew nothing about love.
Why?
Because it hadn't worked for Sasuke.
Sasuke had done everything that Mr. Darcy in the book had done. When Mr. Darcy had ignored Elisabeth Bennet, Sasuke had ignored Naruto. When Mr. Darcy had insulted Elisabeth, Sasuke had called Naruto dobe and dumbass and stupid and retard. Darcy had insulted Elisabeth's family, and even though Naruto never had any family, Sasuke still had been kind enough to inform him of this on a bunch of different occasions. Then, Sasuke had showed Naruto the Uchiha compound, just like Elisabeth Bennet got to see Mr. Darcy's estate. He had also introduced Naruto to his one and only brother (it was a sister in the book, but Sasuke didn't think that small of a thing could make such a big difference) and he…
Oh, that was true. Sasuke hadn't helped any of Naruto's family members getting out of a tight spot, flashing with his money in the process. But that was clearly Naruto's fault for not having any family, so Sasuke couldn't really be the one to blame on this matter.
So therefore, Sasuke concluded that he had done everything Mr. Darcy did, and still he wasn't married to Uzumaki Naruto.
He tossed the book behind him, and heard a pained "oof" from someone getting hit. He turned around on the wooden chair, and saw Sai holding the book in his hands, checking the front of it.
"I haven't read this yet. Is it good?"
Sasuke snorted but continued watching the other boy. He didn't know Sai that well and they had never really talked. He knew however that Sai spent a lot of his time inside the library, reading as soon as he got some spare time. Perhaps Sai knew some book about love that actually would work?
"Hey, Sai. Have you read any books about romance?" Sai's eye's traveled slightly upwards and he gave it a sincere thought.
"Romance. A novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvelous deeds, pageantry, romantic exploits, etc., usually in a historical or imaginary setting. No, I haven't. I have read some erotic novels?" Sasuke shook his head slightly. It wasn't exactly that kind of stuff he was after, yet. Sai continued to think, but shrugged in defeat. Sasuke sighed and turned back in the chair. Great. Then what was he supposed to do now? Sai sat down in the chair next to his and turned the pages in the book Sasuke had thrown at him. After a minute or two he cleared his throat.
"This is from the early 19th century," Sai stated. Sasuke didn't answer, but gave Sai a look that asked him to continue. "It's old."
Oh, yes, it was old. Sasuke hadn't really thought about that, perhaps because he had skipped the uninteresting parts of the book and only read about the lovey-dovey stuff.
"Do you suggest that I read something more up to date?" he asked, but Sai shrugged.
"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just making observations." He closed the book and reached for another books in the pile Sasuke had gathered. "Why are you interested in love, Sasuke?" he asked. He then tilted his head towards the ceiling, thinking. "Love. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Who do you love, Sasuke? Is it Naruto?" Stupid goat. Stupid, stupid Sai for making him feel so embarrassed about himself.
"Why do you think it is Naruto?" Sasuke grumbled. Sai didn't answer at first, but then he shrugged.
"You seem…friendly with each other. You are attached to each other by feelings or affection, I think? And you are…rivals too? Naruto told be once. Rivals; you try do outdo each othe-"
"Fine, it is Naruto! Just…shut up!" The two boys around the table grew quiet for some minutes, and the only sound that was heard in the otherwise empty library was the pages being turned in the book Sai read. Then Sai suddenly put the book down on the table and looked at Sasuke. Sasuke sighed and pulled his fingers threw his hair.
"Do you have any ideas? I'm out." Sai scratched his head.
"Well, I heard from someone about a very popular game that is sometimes used on these occasions. It was called truth or dare." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. Yes, truth and dare. He had heard about that game. That was actually a good idea.
"That is a shitty idea. But, since I'm bored and have nothing else to do I think I will try it." Sasuke stood and slowly strolled off between the shelves.
…he didn't know the rules though.
"A-are you coming or what?" he called over his shoulder. Sai didn't move.
"Or what what?" Sai asked. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Just come with me. Fuck." Sasuke left the building with Sai walking close behind him, smiling like there was no tomorrow.
And as if Sasuke actually was bound to have some luck, Naruto was bored out of his mind and didn't mind playing with them. However, when Sai explained the rules to them, both Naruto and Sasuke went awfully quiet. It was Naruto who spoke up first.
"I rather do the dares actually…"
Sasuke put his arms crossed over his chest.
"I actually have some secrets…" he said. Sai looked down on the paper which contained the rules, and also some dares he'd been given by Sasuke. He wrinkles his nose slightly.
"I guess we can skip the truth-part then. What do you think about that?" Sasuke and Naruto nodded in unison. Sai seemed to suddenly light up. "I can be the judge and decide the dares, and you two do the dares!" Sasuke heard an amused snort next to him, and when he looked over at Naruto he saw him looking at Sasuke with a wide grin. Sasuke felt something warm in the pit of his stomach when he saw the smile. Now, all Sai had to do was to give them some really good dares, and then Naruto would wake up in Sasuke's bed tomorrow. Sasuke looked over to Sai and gave him a stern look that hopefully Sai would understand and pick one of the dares he'd given him. Thankfully he did, and gave Sasuke a little nod.
"Then we begin! Naruto, I'll give you the first dare. I dare you to kiss Sasuke." For a second or two, Sasuke was a big blob of happiness with flushed cheeks, but it quickly disappeared at the sound of Naruto's laughter.
"Hell no! I know! Give us the same dares and include some challenges, and in the end one of us is the winner!" Naruto looked over at Sasuke with a smirk on his lips. "Oh, that right. It's no fun if we already know who the winner will be, because I am going to kick your ass." Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.
"Having a hard time thinking again dobe? Messing up the words? We all know I will be the one winning," Sasuke answered with a smirk even more degrading than Naruto's. Sai locked back and forth between them, but Sasuke ignored him. Damn Naruto, thinking he could win over Sasuke. Sai cleared his throat and spoke up.
"Then…uhm…kiss-"
"No kissing!" Naruto exclaimed.
"But Sasuke-"
"No kissing!" Sasuke gritted out. This fight was on!
Sai looked incredible angry for a second or two, and then shrugged it off and tossed the paper of rules behind him.
"Fine then. You are not allowed to use any chakra in this dare. Go to the market street and change clothes with each other. All garments." And even though the dare didn't tell them to go there as fast as they could, both Naruto and Sasuke dashed off with Sai not far after. When arriving to the busiest street in Konoha, both of them quickly get rid of their clothing and tossing the individual garments as far as they could, trying to make it harder for the other. Sasuke didn't care who saw him, all he had in mind was to find Naruto's horrible clothes and get them on as fast as possible. Some women screamed in shock as he ran passed them in the nude, and with all people backing away from him it was easy to find the clothes. Finally he pulled the jacket on, and turned back to the place where he had left Naruto and Sai. When arriving he smirked; Naruto was nowhere close to be finished. While Sasuke found himself in a very over-sized attire, Naruto was having a hard time getting Sasuke's shirt over his shoulders. The pants were hugging Naruto's bigger thighs, and the only thing that fit were the bandages Sasuke had wrapped around his arms earlier this day. Sasuke walked up next to Sai.
"I think I am the winner on this one." Sai nodded, and wrote the score down in his sketch-block. Sasuke smirked. This could turn out to be a very fun day.
The argument that followed that first dare lasted for ten minutes before Sai called it off. Naruto was a sour looser and accused Sasuke for cheating, saying that he'd put on small clothes on purpose. Sasuke retorted and told Naruto that a thing like that wouldn't have been a problem if Naruto hadn't been so fat. So, then minutes later Sai told them to shut the fuck up and announced the next dare.
"Split the clothes you are wearing by tensing, no use of chakra."
"Hey!" Sasuke protested. "That's not fair; my clothes are already ripping on that elephant over there!"
"Oy! Un-cool Sasuke!" Naruto shouted. Sai put his hands up to silence them.
"Then you'll stop fighting." Sasuke opened his mouth to argue some more, but Sai broke him off. "Naruto, just do it," he said tiredly, already counting Sasuke out. Sasuke pouted but realized that there was no way he could break Naruto's baggy clothes by just tensing. Instead he stood next to Sai and watched Naruto as the blond made hardly any effort splitting Sasuke's dark blue shirt over the chest-area and the biceps.
Oh, Sasuke thought as he watched the tan muscles show through the ripped fabric. That was…totally hot. Wait, that reminded him…wasn't there another reason for this dumb dares-
"Great!" Sai throw the sketch-book open and wrote down the new score.
"I still think this is unfair," Sasuke grumbled, but Naruto only laughed and patted his shoulder.
"Better luck next time shrimp!" Sasuke gritted his teeth but swallowed the anger down and turned to Sai, who was ready to give them their next challenge.
"Soak your underpants in the river at the Uchiha-compound, and then Naruto can use his wind chakra to freeze them before you put them on again. If you manage to have them on until they get soft again you win."
This time, neither Sasuke nor Naruto were in any hurry to get there, but in the end they still ended up by the river. Again they pulled of their clothing, and Sasuke actually had some time glancing at Naruto's naked form before it was time to put on the stiff, cold, underwear – frozen in a shape that would make them able to do just that. Sasuke pulled them up and scraped his left bottom cheek in the process, and he had to bite his lip when the coldness settled around his lower regions. He heard a hiss coming from Naruto, and since they were both unable to speak without squealing, they both stood quiet. The only thing that was heard during the time was the shuffling sound coming from Sasuke when he pulled the underpants up. When warm and dry, they had managed to stick to Sasuke's hipbones, but when stiff they threatened to slide down all the way.
After some time, the underpants softened, and both Sasuke and Naruto had survived it. Sai wrote it down, and it was still a tie. Then it was time for the next dare, but first Sai went into Sasuke's old house to search for something. It was really quiet the time Sai was absent, and Sasuke was actually happy when he saw the dark haired man walking towards them again.
"This time," he said when he came close, "I want you to duck-tape a word or a picture on the other persons back, and then we'll see who gets the best sun tattoo." Sai looked up in the sky. "It's pretty hot today, so it shouldn't be any trouble, and we'll announce the winner when we are finished." He looked back down and the two boys in front of him. "Do you dare?" Sasuke pulled the duck-tape from the hands of Sai and begun pulling some off, already knowing what he would write on Naruto's back. Of course he dared, but he was a little worried about what Naruto would write.
When they were both finished, Sasuke eyed the masterpiece on Naruto's back. Hopefully Naruto would sport a big, light Uchiha-fan shape on his back when this was over, and Sasuke felt rather content. He was slightly concerned about his own back though, and he hoped that Naruto hadn't been too mean.
Sai announced the next challenge while sitting in the grass, looking both tired and hot. He waved his face with his sketch-book.
"I'm beginning to run out of ideas." Sai chewed on the back of his pen thoughtfully. "Here's one. Try fit in the smallest area you can find, and you are not able to use chakra."
Personally, Sasuke had no objections to that challenge. But that was because he was aware of that he was a little bit smaller than Naruto, and a little bit shorter. He prepared himself and waited for Naruto to explode in protests, and was surprised when he heard nothing. He looked over his shoulder to see what Naruto was doing, and found the blonde staring directly at Sasuke's ass.
It wasn't just staring, like when you're eyes just happens to linger on an inappropriate place. No, Naruto was looking at his eyes with eyes of a hungry wolf, and Sasuke was sure that Naruto even licked his lips a little. Sasuke suddenly became awfully aware of his appearance, and that he in fact still wore a pair of too big underpants that was still wet, and he quickly turned around and placed his hands over his butt. That seemed to break the spell, and Naruto was back to earth.
"Think of something else Sai, we know shrimp here will win and then it's not a good challenge." Sai sighed and continued to think, and Sasuke just couldn't find it within him to protest. He glared at Naruto, but Naruto didn't seem to be aware of his presence anymore. Instead he walked down to the river and dipped his feet while waiting for Sai to come up with something new.
After a while, Sai stood up and called at them to come closer.
"Let's make two individual dares. First one is Sasuke, and you're not allowed to use chakra. Drink some alcohol and put it on fire when you spit it out." Sasuke wrinkles his eyebrows. That sounded rather dangerous, since he wouldn't be able to control it.
"How will I lit it on fire?" he asked. Sai told them that he had found some matches earlier and went to grab them, and he also brought with him a bottle of whisky. Sasuke eyed it and concluded that it was his father's old bottle, and thought that there were surly no other better occasions to drink it than this one. He opened it up and took a mouthful, lit a match and sprayed it out. The match went out immediately, and in sheer panic Sasuke used his chakra to perform the real Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu. He made it way to big though and realized that he had been seen through when Sai gave Naruto one point in the book. Sasuke swore under his breath, and hoped that Naruto would fail at his dare.
"Well then. Naruto, for this dare you are allowed to use your chakra." Sasuke was just about to tell them that it was really unfair, when he heard what the dare was. "I dare you to use your Sexy no Jutsu and walk down to the nudist beach and stay there for five minutes." Sasuke chuckled and Naruto looked extremely shocked, but swallowed it down and quickly turned around and stomped off towards the beach.
When arriving, Naruto turned himself into the naked girl using his favorite Jutsu, and disappeared down do the beach. Neither Sai nor Sasuke felt the need to watch Naruto getting harassed by the fifty-year-old-plus geezers, so they walked away through the forest and found a stone to sit on while they waited for Naruto to come back.
Five minutes later, Naruto came through the trees, back in his male form. Sasuke smirked even though he'd lost, and Sai gave Naruto his best smile.
"I don't want to talk about it," Naruto gritted out when he passed them. Sasuke snickered, and followed Naruto back to the town, Sai close behind.
"This will be the last dare I'll give you. I'm getting tired and it's getting pretty late." Both Sasuke and Naruto nodded curtly, and Sasuke felt the pressure of winning since this was his last chance. "I want the both of you to sneak into the Hokage tower henged into Itachi and Pain. I also want you to bring back the Hokage's bottle of sake. Other than the henge, all use of chakra is forbidden. If you're detected, you lose."
A silence fell upon the group, and Sasuke peered over at Naruto to see his reaction. Naruto peered right back at him as he was beginning to say something but shut his mouth quickly when he saw Sasuke watching him. Sasuke's head snapped back towards Sai's.
"I dare," he announced proudly. "Dibs on being Itachi." Sasuke looked back at Naruto with a smirk and Naruto frowned.
"Fine," the blond snapped and turned into Pain. Sasuke followed him, and shortly after the sneaked through the now almost empty streets of Konoha. Sasuke went first, and when arriving to the tower he pressed his back against the wall and waited for Naruto. Naruto was quickly by his side, and they slid towards the back of the tower. When they got there, Sasuke jumped into the closest window and ran up to the door at the other side of the room. It was an office of some sort, and the door led to the main corridor on the first floor. Before he walked out of the room he saw Naruto's legs dangle in the window. Naruto was taking the way up the wall.
Sasuke opened the door a little and took a quick look into the corridor and saw that it was empty. He closed the door carefully before sprinting down the corridor, finding the flight of stairs. Not a single guard was there, but he could see the light through some interstices at some doors. None of them became any problem though, and soon he found himself on the top-floor hiding outside the opened door into the waiting room connected to the Hokage's office. Outside the door into the office a pair of guards stood and Sasuke tried to think of a way to get rid of them. He didn't have to think long, because suddenly Pain's face appeared in the window right in front of him.
And in front of the doorway into the waiting room.
Right in the guards' field of vision.
Sasuke smirked evilly, and the funniest expression appeared on Naruto's face. His eyes turned wide, he mouthed a big "no" and he shook his head.
Sasuke cleared his throat, and the effect was immediate. The guards' head snapped towards the sound, and saw the Akatsuki-member hanging in the window. Naruto immediately let go and disappeared, but the guards were not far behind as they followed him through the window. And therefore, Sasuke could carelessly stroll over to the door, walk inside, and take one of Tsunade's sake bottles. The old hag just continued to snore and didn't even notice as he left the tower through her window.
When Sasuke came back to the place Sai waited, Naruto was already there, and he had already turned back into himself. Sasuke dropped the henge and gave them the bottle with a smirk, and Sai gave him a point in his sketch-book.
"Now, turn around and I will get this duck-tape off you." Sai ripped them off without caring about it hurting, and eyed their backs for a while. "Well, that's another point for Sasuke. I can't even see Naruto's." Sasuke actually felt a little disappointed, even though he'd been the one winning.
"Then what does mine say?" he asked. Sai snickered and Naruto smirked.
"It says slut." Sasuke whipped around, trying to see his back over his shoulder.
"What the hell!" he exclaimed angrily. He settled with just giving them the nastiest death-glare he could muster. At least he'd won. Sai gave him the point and counted them.
"It's a tie."
Sasuke raised his eyebrows and made a quick count in his head. Damn.
"Well, it was fun I guess," Sai said. "I'm going to bed now." The watched Sai walk away and Naruto offered to walk Sasuke home. Sasuke nodded absently and couldn't help but to think that something had gone awfully wrong today, more than having the word "slut" on his back. Oh. That was right. He had planned to make Naruto his today. Well, he had fucked that one up. But it was Naruto's fault really, for making him forget it with his damn need to win over Sasuke! Sasuke pushed Naruto angrily in the side and ignored the protest coming from the blond as the made the way home more quickly.
When they arrived to Sasuke's apartment, Sasuke had just planned to walk inside and continue to ignore Naruto, when a hand around his wrist stopped him. He was pulled back and a big hand on his neck guided his lips to Naruto's.
Naruto's lips were dry, but very soft. They were pressed against Sasuke's own moist ones, and there was hardly any movement at all. It felt tingly, every bit of Sasuke felt tingly and he raised himself slightly on the toes to get closer. Then Naruto nibbled his bottom lip before releasing Sasuke, who sank down on his feet again.
He felt dizzy.
And tingly.
"I win," Naruto whispered and stroked Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke blinked once, then twice.
"Wh-what?" he asked, out of breath.
"I said I win! I did one more dare than you!" Naruto said happily and patted Sasuke on the head. Then he seemed to remember something. "I have to go home now Sasuke. See you another day!"
Then Sasuke was alone.
Alone on the empty street outside his apartment, wearing nothing but a pair of too big underpants, and having the words "slut" written on his back. Alone after having his first real kiss stolen by a man only out to win a dare, a man who had also been wearing nothing but underpants.
A blush covered his whole body and a smile appeared on his lips.
Sasuke had never been happier in his life.
To be continued
Don't forget to review! Partly because it makes me feel really great, but mostly because then I'll know if my fictions is appreciated. Thank you!
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