Dinner was a completely silent affair except for the occasional clink of silverware on china. They did not even look at one another. Finally, with a heavy sigh, Minerva pushed up from the table. "I'm going to sit up a bit, Severus. You go on to bed."

He declined her suggestion and followed her into the side room. Minerva took a seat by the fire and immediately closed her eyes, while Severus grabbed a book from the book shelf and sat down with it. He placed it on the ottoman in front of him, and using his wand he attempted to magically turn the pages. He was alternately successful and unsuccessful. Finally, he slammed the book closed and then rubbed his hands together hoping to ease the stiffness. A black mood settled over him.

He looked over to where Minerva sat and he could see the sadness in her face. "Minerva?" he started, but he had no idea what he should say.

Her green eyes snapped opened. She raked her hand across her cheek catching a single tear that had fallen there. "Good night, Severus," she told him suddenly and stood up. As she passed his chair, she rested her hand on his shoulder for a long moment and then left.


In the morning, it was Niall who came to his room. "Come have breakfast with me?" he said as he poked his head around the door jam.

Once downstairs Snape was wary when he realized that Minerva was no where to be seen. He waited, believing Niall would reveal the mystery soon enough. In the end, however, it was Severus who grew impatient. "Where is your mother?" he finally asked.

"She decided to go visit some friends for a week or two. She came by the main house quite early this morning and told me she was going. She asked me to come by and check on you." His tone betrayed nothing.

I should have foreseen this, Severus thought. I mentioned leaving. Her Gryffndor sensibilities have driven her to do the noble thing and be the one to go.

They finished breakfast in silence until Niall stood and said, "Let's go outside. You haven't seen any of the estate yet. I thought after that we should move you to the main house rather than have you here by yourself."

As he walked, Severus could feel a sense of disconnect inside. There was an emptiness in his gut that told him he was adrift, and an ache in his heart that revealed how bereft he felt. How patently ridiculous that I have come to expect and anticipate her company. The more fool I. Something in him knew there was nothing to do but just keep moving, to let his body make progress and hope that his heart and his mind caught up.

They walked half the distance to the main house and stopped by the horse paddock so that Severus could rest unobtrusively. They leaned on the rails of the fence and Snape decided to approach a conversation. "You grew up here?"

"Mostly. My mother quit teaching after my dad died and we came here. Partly it was the grief, I think, and partly that she knew here she could keep me safe. You've found, I'm sure that there are a fair number of wards on the cottage and that its fireplace is not on the Floo system." Snape nodded. "She took no chances. So, the idea of my leaving here to start school frightened her," Niall explained.

Snape looked at him in disbelief unable to imagine Minerva McGonagall afraid. "Frightened her?"

Niall continued, "She was a different person then. By the time my letter came, though, the danger was mostly gone. The Death Eaters were firmly underground." He gave Snape an uncomfortable look and continued. "She knew she had to let me go. I settled in to Hogwarts and my mom started to teach again."

"How could you manage with your mother as the head of Gryffndor?"

"Well, I wasn't a Gryffndor," he replied. Then he laughed at the memory. "My poor mother nearly fell off her chair when the sorting hat yelled out, "RAVENCLAW!" Even Severus had to smile at that. He could imagine the stunned look on Minerva's face as plain as if he had been there.

"And my mother and I decided not to reveal the relationship openly. I went through school as Niall Campbell. My friends knew who my mom was, of course. And most professors knew, but it was easier for me not to be tagged as her son every minute. She thought it was safer that way, too. There were enough Campbells that I just blended in."

"I must have been teaching there by the time you left." Severus said.

"You were," Niall smirked. "But you must have only been teaching lower classes that first year. I had Slughorn for Advanced Potions in sixth year and I left for an internship at St. Mungo's before my seventh."

Snape nodded in understanding and turned his attention back to the horses running in circles. The mountains in the background, the crispness to the air - it was beautiful – this place Minerva chose. But sometimes, quiet discomforted him. And beautiful things... beautiful things all went to hell at his touch, he thought.

Finally, Niall, broke the silence, "It's none of my business, but..."

Severus groaned with irritation and cut him off without even turning to look at him, "How many illustrious conversations have started that way?"

Niall laughed and they both left off. They spent another 10 minutes in silence leaning on the rails and looking into the distance. Finally, they returned to the dirt road where Niall stopped Severus with a hand on his arm, so he could look into the older man's eyes.

Severus looked from the hand on his arm to Niall's face. "You obviously feel compelled to say something."

"I saw how she was when she showed up here with you. Frightened, that she would lose you. So I think I know how she feels about you," the big man said firmly. "If you don't feel the same way, but you stay, you'll make her miserable ... you know."

"I know," Severus said simply and started off ahead of him.

Coming up along side Severus in three easy, loping steps, Niall tried to tackle a normal conversation. "Did my mother tell you anything of the facility we run here?" he asked.

"No, nothing."

"Well, its a clinic, a place for rehabilitation. That sort of thing. Not exactly the 'St. Mungo's of the north,'" he mused. "It's much smaller and something different. There are more children here. Some strange cases that are manageable, but which we cannot cure... at least not yet."

Snape winced. How he hated happy optimism.

They entered the main door into a large open foyer. The clinic's ground floor had retained the look of a manor house except for a reception area off to the side with a bell and a list of instructions for incoming cases.

A staircase wound down from the center of the house to the right side of the entrance hall in a beautiful sweep. Snape was following it with his eyes when he saw a small child sitting near the bottom of the steps partially hidden by the banister. She emerged and sidled up to Niall, keeping her distance from Severus.

"Hello, Zoe," he told her giving her a friendly pat on the back.

"Who is he?" she whispered to Niall.

"Ah. This is..." and Niall looked at Severus wondering how he would handle this. What name he may want to reveal.

"Feste," Snape said. This earned him a curious look and a smile from Niall.

"Jump, Niall?" Zoe wondered.

"Right -o," and Niall jumped, his heavy boots thumping loudly on the marble floors, a large smile on his face. "This is sort of a ritual with us," Niall tried to explain while jumping. "A pattern of behavior, a coping mechanism." Severus cast a glance at the ceiling, sure that 285 pounds of Highlander repeatedly slamming into the floor would bring something down on his head.

"Can't you jump, Feste?" Zoe asked.

Snape raised a single eyebrow. "No, actually. That's why I'm here."

This seemed to worry Zoe and she froze next to Niall. "Hey, Zoe," Niall tried. "Have you seen Asha? Is she upstairs?"

"No," she whispered. "She's in the kitchen."

"Thanks, Zoe. We're going to go see her. Do you want to come along?"

"No," she told him still whispering. "I think I'll work the desk." And the small girl went over to the reception area, climbed up into the chair and began playing with things there.

"Right-o," Niall called after her, making Severus inwardly groan. "Okay, Feste," and he winked at about the same time that Severus' groan became quite audible, "let's go see my wife."

"I didn't know you were married."

"Yeah. Asha and I met at St. Mungo's. She was a Healer there when I started my internship. Not that we started dating then. She thought I was a pretty typical, annoying teenager then."

They reached the door to the kitchen and Niall swung it open to reveal a large kitchen inhabited by 3 house elves and the woman Severus assumed was Asha. She was in western muggle clothing, but the colors and her bangles spoke of an Indian heritage. She stopped what she was doing immediately and came over to warmly welcome Severus. She squeezed his hand. Her smile was engaging and her manner pleasingly confident. Her hair was long, straight and brown, and her eyes were deep and warm. She was nothing short of beautiful, he noted and he absent-mindedly looked back over to Niall who said, "Yeah, I know. She's amazing."

"Look at you, Mr. Snape. You are doing quite well, I see," she smiled.

"Much better, yes," Severus admitted.

"You would not remember me. I checked on you quite a bit early in your care, but you were unconscious."

"Thank you," Severus managed.

"Well, we could not have done anything for you, if Minerva had not done so much before she got you here."

Severus was confused, wondering if they meant the spells. Niall explained, "She had already controlled the bleeding, administered an anti-venom that we had prepared for her in advance and used a potion to support your heart rate," Niall said calmly.

"Minerva is an amazing woman. Truly amazing," Asha said.

"Yes," was all Severus managed.

And what a damn fool she is for loving me, he thought.

He touched the spot over his heart absent-mindedly. And me for loving her.


Author's note: I find this gets harder and harder to write. I often worry that this is not worth reading. I get stuck on rough patches of the document and just want to toss it all. So, I really appreciate the feedback, folks.

Feste is one of the Shakespearian fools. Although he is not the fool in As You Like It, where the phrase "The more fool I" comes from. That was Touchstone and I just couldn't see Severus introducing himself as Touchstone, no matter how much of a fool life has made him feel like.