-1Chapter 8: The Cost of Immortality
Sesshomaru had been traveling the continent for nearly a year following all the leads he had gathered. The man he was searching for had no other name than The Hermit. He was the only solid clue to a mortal becoming immortal, and Sesshomaru thirsted for what the man knew. He wanted to gain the secret as soon as possible and to present the opportunity to Rin when he felt the time was right. He scoured ancient libraries full of scrolls looking for one containing to the esoteric knowledge and magic that lead to everlasting life. He'd grown to covet Rin as much as she had coveted him. He wanted something to bind the girl to him that was stronger than any human emotion. The human heart could be fickle and he worried that one day someone else would steal Rin's heart away. He had come across a tale titled "The Hermit" and read through it rapt in the information it contained.
"On a mountain bordering the Snow Country high above the land of the hordes, there lives a hermit. So infatuated he became with this worldly life, he shunned death choosing the path of the immortal."
Sesshomaru did not finish the story. He did not read the warning of seeking out a never ending life with no rest in sight. He knew that immortality had only left him longing for companionship, and he never thought about the consequence of making Rin immortal. He never considered his own demise, leaving her alone in the world.
He engrained the map in his brain and went to find The Hermit. He sent Jakken with a new kimono and gifts for Rin. He expected to see her in them when he arrived back at Kaede's village. It took him longer to find The Hermit than he had expected. He scaled mountains and crossed deep valleys overgrown with thick forests of bamboo for a number of months until he found home of The Hermit. He'd given Jakken the responsibility sniffing out other possible leads while he searched for the man in the legend.
Smoke from a small fire was billowing out of a dirt dugout seated at the bottom in one of the green valleys that were stated as being the home of The Hermit. Sesshomaru had located the original dwelling of the man that had been destroyed 60 years previously during a landslide by it's unusual scent. Following his nose, he trailed an identical aroma to a place that was awash and alive with The Hermit's odor. When Sesshomaru landed at the opening of The Hermit's house he called for him. A tiny hunched over old man covered in wrinkles like a Sharpei exited the dirt mound. "Yes, what is it?" His voice sounded dry and crust coated the corner's of his mouth. Large shock white eyebrows like caterpillars crawled across his forehead covering the man's blind eyes.
"What do you know about immortality hermit?" Sesshomaru said coldly.
"It's a terrible idea. Come in for stew." The old hermit invited the demon into his home. Sesshomaru followed the decaying man into his dwelling. It was a barren hovel with a sleeping platform molded out of the side of the hill with a straw mattress sitting on it. He had a small wooden table with a little stool. The man felt around the room, and found the long handled ladle sticking out of a cooking kettle. "Why do you ask about immortality my good man?" After many centuries of living, any guest was better than none.
"I'm searching to for a way to make someone immortal." Sesshomaru said quietly.
"What for? Who wants to live forever?" The old man said in protest.
"You did." Sesshomaru said confused
"Well that was bad decision making on my part. You can't cheat death, young man. And if you do there is a great price to be paid for it." He croaked.
"Say if you were immortal and you wanted to keep someone with you forever, would that be possible?"
"That's a very selfish request young man. It sounds like you want someone to join you in your misery. I take it that you're not of human origin if you claim to be immortal already."
"What if I gave the person the choice and they took it? How could I make a person immortal?" Sesshomaru said with more passion than he intended. He felt annoyed by the man skirting his question.
"Do they have spiritual powers? Are they prepared to live a secluded and pious life?"
"No she's not spiritually adept. I don't believe she could live in seclusion." Sesshomaru mused.
"This person is a she? Then I will tell you the secret to life eternal." The man poured himself a bowl of stew and took a sip. "Spend the lifetime she's willing to offer you with her. Make new life with her. Have children and enjoy watching them grow up. Do not ask her trap her soul here on the worldly plain." The old man's tone was quite convincing. Sesshomaru listened quietly as The Hermit continued. "If you love her then allow her to die even if the universe won't permit you to pass on to the other realm to rejoin her."
"Do not begin to infer my feelings old man. She is a child in my care." Sesshomaru wanted to state that he did not love Rin, but he stopped himself. Of course he did.
"She will grow up someday. Your feelings may change. If you love her, don't ask her to become immortal. She will grow to resent you when she begins to loose people that are important to her. She will most certainly hate you when she sees the world start to change and she's not prepared for those changes." The Hermit was a living testament that humans were not meant to live forever. In exchange for a short life, their souls ascended to different plain and were given the opportunity to reincarnate. Demon's did not have mortal souls and thus they ended up in the dark expanse of the underworld with no chance of returning to earth.
"I chose immortality to help people. I wanted to travel the country healing and protecting them with the special spiritual abilities that I had been born with. I drove away the guide to the afterlife enough that he simply stopped coming for me. Living forever became a mantra and the power of that one wish amplified the strength behind my prayers." The old man wanted Sesshomaru to fully understand the misery of giving up a mortal life. "I enjoyed the company of others, and when I became immortal, seclusion was part of the deal. As was giving up the worldly pleasures that shortened the lives of my friends and loved ones. They lived their lives to the fullest on the worldly plain, while I forfeited all the pleasures of the human experience. One by one they all died off and I buried them. I never got a chance to feel love or the joy of having children and watching them grow into adults. There is not a soul on earth that knows my real name. I am alone in this world." The regret in his voice made Sesshomaru realize the error in the old man's wish. His want to make Rin immortal vanished in the time it took to blow out a candle. He'd become so consumed with the search that The Hermit's story left him feeling defeated. The demon did not have much of a conscience, yet he knew better to ask his little ward to change for him. As the homesickness that lingered on his heart closed in on him, he chose to listen to the old man's warning. "Now I'm merely a legend, and no one remembers me. I've chosen to go back to living as a normal man, and hopefully with enough repentance, I'll be allowed to rest."
"I will go back to her then. Perhaps we'll meet again in the underworld." Sesshomaru respected the old hermit's honesty. He could go home now.
"Maybe I'll meet this girl of yours on the other side. You never know, possibly you'll be there too." The old man said grinning toothlessly.
Sesshomaru left the blind man's hut and traveled in the direction Jakken had told him he was planning on searching. He wanted to see Rin again. He reconciled with his feelings for the mortal child. He no longer questioned his need to be by her side, he just knew that it was what he wanted. When he had reconnected with Jakken he told the goblin that they would be heading back to Japan where they would collect Rin. When he arrived to find the girl gone, Sesshomaru felt a heavy guilt settle on his chest. He realized his disappearance was to blame for Rin going missing.
