~8 An eventful week~
It was 2 September and Lucius was pissed. With me.
He was polite to be sure and he didn't attempt to kiss my cheek or put his arm around me any more so I shouldn't have complained. I felt bad nonetheless. I felt bad because I had acted as if Narcissa wasn't married. Sure enough: I'd been single for years and the occasional men in my life had never moved in with me. I am used to handle things independently. And there was the little thing of me wanting to return to the normal world, which I think allowed me to act boldly. But still... I had conveniently not involved Lucius and he didn't deserve that. Of course, had I told him about my plan beforehand and should he have objected that would not have stopped me from executing it but at least he would have known.
No, telling Lucius just like that that Albus Dumbledore had replied enthusiastically about my proposal to give drama classes at Hogwarts had not been a sensitive thing to do. Not planning to make that mistake again I informed him that I was going to visit Azkaban. Despite me being able to do magic he told me no. First he tried to convince me that my sister and cousin wouldn't be able to trigger my memory any better than he and Draco had. Then he said that people in that place were hardly allowed to have visitors. He added that it would be hard to get a permission to see them. I admitted that I'd sent the Minister a request to visit my relatives.
The tension in the room build. But what choice did I have but to go through with it?
´I've already received an access pass.´
Henry and Wilhelmina, who'd been strolling in a painting of the manor's garden, made themselves scarce.
´Don't you remember?´ Lucius burst out, ´Don't you recall how you hated that place? How it made you sick?´
He turned his back at me.
´For Salazar's sake,´ he hissed.
´Lucius -´
´For crying out loud Narcissa! Don't you even remember that?´
An angry Lucius makes for quite a picture and I couldn't think of an appropriate reply. I recalled that he'd been in Azkaban himself which explained for this strong reaction.
My silence made him face me again. He probably concluded that I truly didn't remember and from his altered expression I reasoned that he figured that it wasn't a bad thing: no one would care to remind his wife that he's been in prison.
I helped him: ´Have I visited Sirius and Bellatrix before? Did it cause a migraine?´
He cleared his throat and nodded.
´I still want to see them. I don't like it that I know nearly nothing about my past. Our past. The fact that I recall Bellatrix and Sirius must mean something.´
Still a little angry he raised his eyebrows. ´Perhaps. Especially since you called me by a wrong name at first.´
I shyly looked down.
´Jason!´ he whispered with contempt. ´As if I look like a Jason!´
I shook my head, making a throatily sound of amusement.
´Don't pout,´ I said and I cupped his cheek. Well, I felt guilty and he looked haughty and lost and adorable at the same time. I just didn't know what else to do.
My touch made him exhale and before I could withdraw my hand he had captured it. Moving his head to the side he kissed my palm and then released me.
´So Azkaban it is?´
I met his eyes and nodded.
He picked up one of my books and cleared his throat: ´Does Draco know you'll be teaching at Hogwarts?´
I'd been forgiven!
´I asked professor Dumbledore not to tell anyone yet so I can inform Draco myself.´
´Good. How are you progressing regarding The Flower Garden?´
´I will visit it tomorrow morning.´
It seemed a wise decision not to mention that I would afterwards meet Andromeda.
OoOoO
'Our shop will keep its name! It's a beautiful name, it's our name! I don't want coronation or daisy on my shop-window!'
´Be calm Amit,' tailor Hastings whispered but Desmond Rodick, who organised parties and events, fanned the fire: 'Hear hear!'
I was amusing myself. It turned out that one of the shopkeepers, a Mr Jericho, a middle aged former civil servant who'd named his shop Hyacinth, wanted all the stores to be named after flowers. Mr Budhram was the leader of the opposition.
´Five flower names and eleven shops, it's not enough!´ Jericho said in his baritone voice.
Patricia Annis, the owner of 'Fleur', rubbed her back against her chair and said: ´My shop is named after my sister and had she been called Betty, that name would now grace my front.´
We had gathered in restaurant Violet in the Garden which bore similarities to a cave. The cream coloured linen somehow added to that feeling and the beautiful flowers (which had been arranged by Johan Tilleman - as the florist had repeatedly told me) seemed horribly out of place.
'If I may summarize,´ I said, ´Mr Jericho feels that The Flower Garden would benefit if all shops were named after flowers.´
Jericho inclined his head.
´I like the idea of this part of Diagon Alley to have an appeal to the public but I feel that one should be allowed to name her or his store just as one likes.'
Mr Budhram exhaled.
I took a sip of my tea. As I'd hoped no one spoke. I was starting to like this. Nodding at Mr Jericho I continued: 'I think that the number of shoppers and as a result your sales figures will rise if the street itself is altered.´
I willed a scale model of The Garden to appear on the middle of the table. It slowly turned around. I'd practised it at home and I was rather proud of it. By the looks of it my public was impressed (elf Lucy, in charge of shopping for groceries, had looked at the model wider-eyed and she'd confirmed that it was just as it was but then smaller).
'The gate enables street-traders to seek refuge from the rain. I can imagine that their presence discourages customers from entering The Flower Garden...´ I said with a smile, not mentioning the penetrating scent of urine that clung in the entrance to the small street.
I showed them my plans and they were all enthusiastic.
´So I may execute this?´
As the absolutelies and the that would be wonderfuls filled my ears, I closed my eyes to concentrate.
Someone mentioned money but she was hushed. The shopkeepers became silent and I figured that they were staring at me and throwing each other meaningful glances. I didn't care: I'd not done this before and I needed to focus.
Through my closed lids I noticed that there was more light in the room.
´Oh Merlin,´ I heard in a whisper.
When I'd checked all the boxes on my list, I opened my eyes. The restaurant no longer looked like a cave. I didn't care for the migraine attack that was on its way: I could only smile.
OoOoO
On entering the grand café in muggle London where Narcissa's sister and I had arranged to meet I felt as if I could faint any moment. When someone put an arm around my shoulders and sat me down I neither objected nor realised who had come to my aid.
Some time later on a pretty woman of about forty handed me a cup of tea. She looked exactly like the woman on the holiday picture Andromeda had sent me but then without the bright smile.
´Feeling better?´
I made an affirmative sound.
´You took your medication already?´
´Uhm.´
´Done something major?´
´Uhm.´
A few minutes later on I slowly added: ´I changed the Flower Garden.´
´Oh?´
´It was fun.´
´Fun enough for a headache?´
´Yes.´
´I should have a look then. Are you sure you're better? You still look pale.´
In the past days I had worried about many things but not about whether or not I'd get along with Narcissa's sister. The fact that the two of them met at all must mean that they liked each other and since Narcissa seemed to appreciate the same things I did I'd reasoned that Andromeda would be a likeable person. Still it was amazing how comfortable I felt in her presence.
When the colour returned to my cheeks Andromeda wanted to know what I remembered. I yawned and told her that I knew that her daughter Nymphadora prefered to be called Tonks and that her husband Ted was afraid of heights. She laughed: on the picture she'd sent the two of them were sitting on an elephant and Ted's discomfort had been obvious. When I didn't have more to recall Andromeda became silent. Suddenly she straightened up.
´Hubby isn't giving you trouble?´
I shook my head and hid a yawn: ´He's been very kind.´
´Good!´
There was no doubt in my mind that Andromeda would have confronted Lucius had I replied otherwise.
OoOoO
Once I entered Fort Azkaban the scent of the sea was replaced by the smell of old stones and sweat. The guard who'd opened the door gave me a piercing look as if to scare me. He had a face to be cast as a guard: stupid and cruel with I can be bribed written all over it.
He undressed me with his eyes and then growled: ´Wand.´
I raised my eyebrows.
´Wand please. Standard procedure.´
I gave the man a stare.
´Ma'am,´ he added.
´I know that one is not allowed to bring one's wand,´ I said with a smile, ´and therefore I haven't taken mine with me.´
He looked at me suspiciously and waved his own wand at me, mumbling something.
The result made him shrug. He took a notebook from a shelf.
´You're here to see?´
I handed him my access pass. ´Sirius Black and Bellatrix Lestrange.´
After writing something down in the notebook he returned the pass: ´I'll show you to them.´
Following the man I got the feeling that the corridors smelled of fear and misery and I scolded myself for such an inconvenient thought.
The guard kicked against a door. ´You've gotta visitor Black!´
The moron positioned himself in the doorway but I'm a slim woman and I managed to avoid touching him.
´You've got fifteen minutes. Wanna go sooner, call me.´
´I will, thank you.´
The door fell close behind me. When the echo had died away I heard the wind howling and water dripping. Apart from that it was silent. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness the chilly air made me shiver.
'Narcissa?'
I gasped. Sirius dragged me to a part of his cell where some light fell down. He studied my features and his foul breath entered my nose.
´What are you doing here?´
The man's looks weren't the result of carefully applied make-up. He had actually lived in misery for years. It left me speechless until he started shaking me rather roughly to get a response. I freed myself from his grip.
'We don't have a lot of time. I had a concussion. My memory is more or less gone.´
Sirius's expression turned angry. Before he could speak his mind I continued: ´I do know that you are innocent.'
Sirius moaned.
´I will get you out of here.´
Sirius just stared at me.
´I'm not fooling you around Sirius. It will no doubt take some time so I brought you chocolate against the Dementors.´
I took a cotton bag with candy bars out of my cloak's pocket. He accepted it in a daze. The man looked truly horrible. It made me feel sick.
I chatted along: ´Is there anything else you'd like to have? I could have brought you a torch come to think of it.´
He made a throatily sound.
´That will only -´
He coughed: ´- make me see the rats.´
I swallowed hard. ´You're innocent. I'll get you out Sirius. You will see Grimmauld Place again.´
He started crying. ´Please,´ he whispered, ´Could you ho-´
I held him.
When we heard footsteps he dried his cheeks with a dirty sleeve.
´Returning home?´
I shook my head: ´I'm going to see Bellatrix.´
His mood changed immediately.
´Do you think she's innocent too?´ he said in a low voice.
´She's a dangerous sadist. But she might be able to trigger my memory, so I'll visit her.´
Silence.
´Have I?´
´No. We'll meet again Sirius.´
´Don't know when don't know where,´ he replied.
Didn't he believe me?
´But we will meet again some sunny day.´
He made a small sound of surprise.
OoOoO
The guard had brought two colleagues with him to escort me to Bellatrix. I felt their eyes on my back.
'Visitor Lestrange!´
Holding his wand the guard turned to me: ´Same story here ma'am. Watch it, this one's poisonous.'
The men sniggered.
Sirius's cell had small barred holes high up a wall but this one was completely deprived of light and air and it smelled accordingly. I breathed through my mouth. What was I doing here? I wouldn't have to lie to Lucius about having seen Bellatrix but my curiosity, partly responsible for me walking into the woman's cell, was satisfied already. Still, I'd be damned if I'd call the guards.
'Hello?´ My voice cut through a spooky silence. ´Bellatrix?'
A cry.
´Bellatrix? Where are you?´
She must have found me by focussing on my voice. Out of nowhere two claw like hands were placed on my shoulders.
´Did he sent you?´
Her voice was rough like Sirius's voice had been.
´He isn't angry with me, is he? You must tell him that I love him Cissa!'
She fell to her knees and – putting her arms around my legs – started crying.
´You must! You must! I love him! I never denied him. Not I. NOT I!´
I wanted to run. I felt confused, cold and sick and her cries went to the bone. But what do you do when a murderer who thinks you're her sister seeks comfort? The answer presented itself when she clung so close to me that I nearly lost my balance. I steadied myself by placing my hands on her head and feeling ashamed of that I patted her to make up for it.
I was very glad to hear footsteps. With some difficulty I took another supply of chocolate from my pocket and held it behind my back so Bellatrix would feel it.
´Is it... a wand?´
´Just chocolate. But it will help against the Dementors.´
A knock on the door made her swallow her reply. Taking the bag with her she swiftly retreated.
OoOoO
Once outside the fortress I took a seat on a rock to do yoga. When I'd recovered I willed Lucius's cuff-links to glow and he came to get me.
He took me to his office where he served me tea and chocolate cookies.
´Draco replied to your letter,´ he said, handing me a note.
The boy wrote that if I wanted to teach drama it was fine with him. He didn't have a choice really but his reply was gracious nonetheless.
´"Welcome at Hogwarts Mother",´ I quoted.
Lucius smiled: ´We have a wonderful son don't we Narcissa?´
I kept glancing at the letter and smiled proudly as befitted the mother of a wonderful son. Lucius kissed my forehead.
´The boy has your wit,´ he whispered.
´But not my House,´ I whispered back.
He gave me a boyish grin: ´Every Malfoy has been a Slytherin.´
´Well, as long as he is healthy,´ I replied with a shrug.
It made Lucius chuckle.
OoOoO
With professors such as McGonagall, Dumbledore and Snape one would expect an informal evening to be an intellectual gathering. Trelawney and Lockhart added their own flavour to the party though.
It was the evening of 7 September and Dumbledore had introduced me to his staff. They all seemed to like me, safe Minerva McGonagall. It helped me to see her as a witch instead of as a famous Thespian. She questioned me about my interest for acting and concluded that people who like to watch plays don't necessarily make good directors.
´In general I think you are right Minerva but I think that Lady Malfoy will make a wonderful director: after all when one is enthusiastic about something, when there's passion, well...´
´Thank you professor Sprout,´ I said with a bright smile. ´I spent a lot of time figuring out how to do this otherwise I wouldn't have dreamt of suggestion the Headmaster to have a theatre class.´
Sprout nodded and smiled but McGonagall tried to stare me down. Severus meanwhile had gotten rid of Lockhart by having him pester Hagrid and Professor Vector and he joined us.
´You must have been a busy woman,´ the Head of Gryffindor remarked. ´I read about The Flower Garden. I hope it didn't get you into trouble?´
´How considerate of you professor! No, not at all. The civil engineers couldn't discover any faults.´
´It would have been best if you'd shown them your plans with the buildings before executing them,´ McGonagall stated, smoothly criticizing me twice.
´When I want to brew something new,´ Severus said in his sexy low voice, ´I just do it.´
Sprout smiled at no one in particular.
´Yes but you are a Master at -´ McGonagall started.
Professor Flitwick, standing nearby, interrupted Trelawney's dramatic predictions regarding his brother and amicably winked at McGonagall: 'But Lady Malfoy is a Ravenclaw Minerva, never forget that!´
About an hour later on professor Dumbledore accompanied me to the gate. Although he'd charmingly welcomed me at Hogwarts, we hadn't talked. We had observed each other though.
´I was worried when I read about your concussion,´ he said, looking ahead, ´but from new reports I concluded that everything in the garden is lovely.´
I made a throatily sound. ´It would be even more wonderful if I would know what caused the concussion. I have the feeling that the healers have given up on it.´
´Do you recall anything about your past?´
I felt awkward and from the way he avoided to look into my eyes I concluded that he wasn't at ease either. It made it all the more logical that Dumbledore was involved in this. At the moment I didn't have it in me to ask him about it, even though I'd rehearsed our conversation again and again. I could blame the strange sounds coming from the estate or Hogwarts towering behind us or the length of Dumbledore's beard but even all those things combined couldn't explain my silence on the subject. I was simply afraid of the answer the Headmaster would give.
´I recall things but mostly things that don't seem to have been of importance to myself. But the mind is said to be the most astounding thing in the universe...´
I glanced at him.
´The other day for instance,´ I continued, ´I read something about Mr. Crouch, the Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation, and I suddenly recalled that the poor man had lost his wife in Azkaban.´
Dumbledore gravely looked at me.
´He lost his son there, not his wife.´
I shook my head: ´I'm absolutely sure professor. His son was sent to Azkaban but his wife was so devastated about it that she talked him into taking her there so she could trade places with their child. The poor lady died there and the son lives in his father's house, probably doing all he can to have his master return.´
I wondered how Dumbledore would respond to his cue.
It took him four steps to reply: ´It's still a bit sultry outside, isn't it?´
