A/N: These next two chapters are dedicated to Kittylover93 for the journey she is about to be taking in life. I met her through fan fiction and we since then become good friends. I hope this story help you on the journey you are about to take. : ) It would have helped me on my journey. Also this story in general is dedicated to any other loved ones who have had to experience the same thing in life. It is a hard battle and journey to take, but in the long run true love will always come out and win. All the letters in these chapters were really written by my Jacob when he was in basic training for the Army. These are all true events, people and story just with her characters. : ) Emily. By the way your guy's feedback is very important to me. : )
Flashback
It was getting closer and closer to the day he was going to leave. I didn't want him to leave; we had grown so close together just sitting in out spot. He always made me feel like a man should make a girl feel. I started, as being the writer I am, I started a journal so I don't have to write him in bad news in the letters. I write everything that happens in my life almost every day and keep it there so maybe one day he will read it and understand everything that has been happening in my life. Some day he will get how much I love him and how much I am scared of Edward himself.
6.20.10
Jacob,
You haven't left for basic yet. But I am lonely and I have so many things running through my mind. I'm gonna try not to think about it because in the long run five months is longer than anyone thinks. Maybe it will go by fast. My life will go smooth with you gone. But I'm not sure of anything right now. I just know that we were brought together for a reason and that reason is unknown to me and maybe even to you. I'm not sure how to tell you anything writing in here helps. I can't really think but I think that's because we did a whole lot of stuff this week. We are both lacking sleep and are nervous as hell. And this has been hard on both of us. I know you and I both feel the same way. It does gonna be hard sleeping tonight. But I will you go to the office and say again goodbye. But you know this is something you've wanted to do and I will not stop you. I will do anything for you. And I know you understand the whole Edward thing. I love you I don't know about leaving him because of my thought processes. But yet again no excuse. He's nothing but a jerk. Oh well. But that's all I have to say.
Love Always,
Bel.
6.21.10
Jacob,
That was the saddest thing I've ever had to do in my life. It was to leave you there and to know tonight you won't be home or won't be there to hang out with me. Today was great. The past month has been great. I'm so sad it had to come to an end. I'm not crying bad tears. You have just been such a big impact on me. With everything you've done with me and for me. I will probably spend some time with your parents while you are away. I mean they were just as upset as we were. Jacob I know you love me that's why we said goodbye earlier this week. I have to pull myself together so I can deal with Edward. I don't want too. I just want to sit and cry for a while. Just listening to music and try to pull myself together. Sit here with your shirt and smell it. I'm so glad we saw each other today. Your mom I think wanted me to go home with her. But I went home. This is the first time I've been in my room since we started hanging out. You've changed my mind on a lot of things. You're right I deserve to be treated well than what he is treating. It is gonna be hard to leave him. I don't know how but I know no matter where you are at you always having my back no matter what. That I have nothing to worry about, it is still gonna be hard no matter what. But yeah. I know Jacob, grow a pair and dump him. What do I have to loose. Right. Well I'm exhausted right now. And I am probably going to take a nap until he gets on his lunch break. Whatever. I don't even care about him anymore. I don't deserve this. Well I'm gonna go for now. Write more later.
Love,
Bel
He left about a week ago, and I am still waiting to hear from him. I know he is alright but I mean I do love the kid. I can't wait until I get my first letter. I just can't wait. My dad looks at me funny as I run down to the mailbox and check the mail day after day. Well today was the day I received my very first letter. It was so nice to hear from him, to see that he still cared and with it came the instructions on how to mail the letters back.
Dear Bel,
I can't tell you how much I miss you right now. Just talking to you for the brief minute on the phone made my whole day go by faster. I hope our spot is doing well? Also did you break up with Edward yet? I'm not pushing I'm just wondering. You know he isn't that good for you. But anyway how are you? Right now the tough stuff hasn't started yet. We spent a week at reception. That's where we got everything issued to us. DI'S (drill instructors) were nicer there. The DI'S at BCT (basic combat training) are a lot tougher. You are most likely really confused right now aren't you? I love Bel. Sorry random thought. Today it was 95 degrees with 72% humidity. It ended up raining and thundering and lightening around 19:15ish tonight. I miss you so much. I miss your dark brown eyes, your reddish brown hair, and your sweet voice. I miss talking to you late at night. I miss your hands running through my hair. I guess I just miss you all over. Well it is time to go to bed her so: goodnight I love you and miss you. And a goodnight kiss to you built into this letter. Too bad I was not able to give it to you myself. Goodnight. Sleep well. I love you.
Love,
Jacob
P.S. Please write back.
For the next few days, I took my trips back to our spot just to watch the ocean hit the rocks. But mostly to cry over what was really missing here in my life. He was. I just wish he was here to make the world go right, to make the Edward pain a little less. Just like he always does. Sitting here makes me want to write this letter back to him, but I just can't. I can't figure out what I am going to say. I just can't. I don't know what to tell him. I just can't write some bad news letter I was warned about doing that. But what should I do?
Dear Jacob,
Here is my letter. Honestly it has taken me a week to write this. I'm not sure what to write about. I don't think I have ever used the mail system at all. I guess that goes to show you how much we as a society depend on technology until the other day when I received your letter I had not been to our spot since you left. It only brings back memories and makes me miss you more. Edward is another story we shall talk about sometime soon. I guess I mean I shall try to talk to you about it. But I didn't break up with Edward. It's hard. I know it's just some lame excuse but what other thing do I really have to say about the topic itself. Well I guess that's all I have to put back for now.
Love,
Bel.
I sat at our spot as I wrote this letter crying my eyes out. I went home and mailed it.
