Behind the Masks

Summery: Severus Snape hasn't had a very good life. What made him decide to make the decisions that he did? What are the reasons that made him turn away from that path? His childhood, I think, had something to do with it. cough(abusive father)cough This is not one of those fics where Severus is ten and we show his life, no, the war wages on, but with one little change. Daddy's back.

 OotP spoilers, but doesn't really focus on book 5.        

A/N: Hi. Sorry this chapter took so long to write. I am trying to put all the events into a sequence to where they add up. There's more to this story than just "Severus's father was abusive, now he's healer for the Order. I have been trying to hint at something that doesn't have anything to do with Shaeden. I'm really not sure its working. I'm a very subtle person – but I'm having trouble laying this in sequence so you all know there's something going on, but then you find out all of it, and don't see it coming. I'm gonna drop ALL the info at once, in such a way you never saw it coming.

 I think lesson 1 which will make you wonder without knowing will be in this chapter. And to those who wanted more Tonks action . . . beware. It has arrived, and from this chapter on she will play a bigger role. I hope this doesn't ruin the plot for you. But don't worry, the drama and angst are main. There are only 2 categories and romance isn't big enough to fit in either. But hey, this isn't a soppy romance, but its gonna happen anyway. I mean, who could have Tonks in a story and not have her fall in love w/ Severus? Its perfect. I will do my best to keep her in character w/out ruining Severus's' life too badly, though. Don't be afraid.

Be very afraid.

Tonks had no idea what she had gotten herself into by knocking on that door, at that time. She had no idea that she had locked her own fate into a bottle and the headmaster was a bout to dump that bottle out – onto Professor Snape. Oblivious to the great look of amusement on the headmasters face at Snape's reply, she kept on.

"Well, we've been a waiting a long time, to see if you're all right. You want me to get them? They're just outside – "

" – NO!!" Severus shouted, throwing himself nearly off the bed, to stop her from getting the others. The effort used to expel them was too great, and he had to lean back down upon the bed, clenching his teeth in pain.

"What I mean to say is . . . what I mean is . . . just not yet. They don't need . . . to know. I'm . . . fine. Yes, fine." He stammered out, gaping every few seconds in pain.

He hated showing weakness, especially to her, as she had seen enough of it from him to last. She had seen him after a meeting, for Slytherins sake! Not all meetings were this bad. The Dark Lord was very unhappy with is followers after the last attempt to gain something he vitally needed had failed. Severus had been given the night off.

The Dark Lord intended him to make a potion that slowly burned people skin off at the place that it placed. Yes, most venoms and poisons could do this, but the Dark Lord wanted to know he could be trusted. So Severus did as told. He had no choice. He had to stay at Hogwarts, well aware of the battles taking place. He did, however, have to leave to check up on Black, after the Potter boys cryptic message was given. He was hardly aware that it would be the last time he saw his nemesis.

He didn't like Black, but he felt the pain of losing another comrade. He had not liked or respected him, but as he had defied the evil his family openly embraced, he felt a slight bit of anger he had not been able to do anything to help that night. He would, for some reason always remember that last time he spoke with Black. It had been just the same as all other times. But he remembered it in great detail, and, had it been any other time, and not the time it was, he felt sure he would not have remembered it so . . .

He had been sitting in his classroom, grading papers – or at least looking like he was, because in actuality he was just sitting there thinking about all the things that had transpired years ago. The things that he had not been able to accept then. The things he wanted more than anything to take back. But then, he wondered, where would I be now, had I the power to change . . . certain things?

There had been a knock upon his door. Just by the sound of it, and the way it had sounded across the room, he could tell, not only that it was a Slytherin, and also that it was Draco Malfoy. Wondering what the hell he was wanted for this time – last time he had came knocking he had walked into a most delicate situation. Potter and he on opposite sides of the desk, standing, wands raised . . . he couldn't possibly imagine what Draco had thought was going on . . . but then, Montague had been stuck in a toilet, and allowances had to be made . . .

So, enjoying every moment of it, he told his lie. Remedial Potions, indeed. The boy could certainly use the damn lessons . . .

So, in his usual voice he had intoned, "Come in."

Draco Malfoy had entered, looking very smug.

Hmm . .  . Maybe Potter's got himself stuck in a toilet this time . . .

He had had no idea just how serious it was. "Ah, Draco. What is it?"

"Headmistress Umbridge, sir. She requests your presence for . . . a certain predicament that had arisen."

"Ah. I see."

That night was a bloody nightmare; he still recalled walking through those doors and seeing the struggling children. He had, of course looked upon them with complete indifference, and, upon leaving the room and planning some way to free them, discovered that, with Potter's cryptic message, that Sirius Black was being held by Death Eaters. He had no proof; so he went to get some.

He had taken a portkey to Grimmauld Place, and silently used a spell to get himself inside, without alerting Mrs. Black's portrait; it was not that she would yell at him, he just fund it unnerving when she actually greeted him. No, Mrs. Black's portrait seemed to have a liking for him, and it was really quite unsettling.

He walked a few steps into the hall, darkened as it was, and saw Black's shadow in the next room. Thanking whatever god watched out for Death Eaters with a conscience, he walked to the room.

"Black." His voice belied any happiness he had felt at finding Black alive. It would not do to lose another member of the order.

Startled a bit, Black turned, and replied," Snivellus." Black's voice dripped in repressed hate.

"Oh shut up a minute will you?" Black's mouth opened angrily at this, but he had tumbled on.

" I have come because I heard that the Dark Lord had you held captive in the department of Mysteries. Apparently the Dark Lord sent Potter an apparition that you were, and he ran immediately to the one place he knew Umbridge to not have wards in the fireplaces – the Headmasters office." Speaking louder over Sirius, who was trying to cut in, he continued, "she had not put wards on the fireplace, he was right in this, but she had had wards on the office doors. She had him captive along with several other students who were trying to help him communicate with you; Hermione Granger, Ron Weasly, Ginny Weasly, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom.

"Apparently Umbridge was looking for a way to find out where you were and requested that I bring along some Veritaserum. I had, in fact, given her fake Veritaserum earlier. I lied and told her it was my last and it was foolish of her to use it all. She was . . . displeased I couldn't have another bottle until the nest month. So she asked me to leave, and then as, I was going out the door, Potter suddenly shouted a cryptic message telling me what he had seen. But since you're well, alive, and not captive I think I shall go back and your idiot godson out of the mess he has created."

Black stood for a second, processing this, and slowly said, "Why would Voldemort want Harry to think I was at the Department of Mysteries? He's not acting now, is he? Has he already made his move?"

"I don't know . . . first priority is getting the boy out, and then we can work on why . . . I think its time everyone stop treating him like a child. If the idiot had known the Dark Lord had been planning this, he might have not rushed off like the idiot he is and gotten himself caught."

"I wanted to tell him . . ."

He had been a bit surprised Black didn't just blast him away for calling his godson an idiot . . .

He went to turn away, when suddenly, Black bursted," I think Kreacher's coming!"

The Order had been very careful in regarding this case. Hey could not release the elf because he knew too much. But if he knew Severus was a spy and something happened, whatever it may be . . . he was in trouble with the Dark Lord. Severus heard the elf's light footsteps coming down the stairs, and his insane mutterings to the painting of his Mistress n the wall as he went by. He was headed toward their room.

Severus looked around for a way out but there was none too be had. He was going to have to hide somewhere in this room, and he had better think fast or he would be seen by the house elf for the first time. Looking around, he listed his options and ticked them off. Black didn't know what to do. He watched as Snape's eyes flicked all around the room and he quickly calculated where he was least likely to be found. Black saw him look at the ceiling once more.

He had made his choice.

Taking his wand from his robes, he had pointed it at the ceiling and ropes had shot from the end. They had attached and wrapped themselves around the rafters and lifted him off his feet one-handed to the ceiling. The small elf entered the room, looking to the floor as he walked, and then saw Black standing in the room. Black, who had been a grand liar in school was acting very stupid.  He had been amazed when the Professor just catapulted himself up to the ceiling.

Trying not to look at the darkened ceiling so high above him, so high he couldn't even see where it ended, he looked everywhere else. The elf noticed nothing of Black's odd behavior, and continued to work on muttering about what a shame Black had been to his mother, in a loud voice, and then claimed to have said nothing.

His grip was weakening. He could not hang one-handed from the high rafters much longer. He couldn't hold on with both hands as he was searching his pocket for the ropes he held. He located it, and swung it a few times, and let it climb to another rafter. He held on to it instead, feeling the pressure of an old wound on the left side of his torso relax as he released the ropes he had held with his wand. Now, hanging by his right hand, he began to climb further up until he could actually  climb onto the rafters, using the ropes only as extra support as to not fall over. He could now sit and watch the proceedings below.

Black was busy trying not to give away the man's place. Sure, he hated the git, but, – he would never say it aloud – he was a help to the Order, and his death would man nothing, and, in fact, ruin quite a lot of things. He chanced a look up. He could barely see. The tall arched ceiling, hundreds of feet above him, was entirely black, and therefore, the clack-clad man could barely be seen. He could barely make out an outline of Snape climbing up the ropes as easily as walking on the ground. Git.

Half of him wished the git would fall. The other half wanted the idiot elf that ruined everything to go away so the man could get the hell off the ceiling.

The elf kept muttering on distractedly.

"Kreacher. What. Do. You. Want?"

"Kreacher is wanting nothing, sir," the elf said, looking up at the last of the Black's with respect.

Then, looking at the ground once more, he muttered, "Except to be ridding my Mistress's house of the foul vermin that now walk it . . . oh, if my Mistress knew, if she had ever been told . . . if she had known her shamed spawn would be back, she would have burned the house down . . . poor Mistress, poor Kreacher left alone . . . with disgraces roaming . . . and the child . . . just as bad, wandering with mudbloods and half-bloods . . . "

"That's it! Out! You don't talk about Harry, you hear?! You hear?! Never! You don't have the right to speak of him! You don't even have the right to think of him!"

"Kreacher is leaving, sir. Kreacher is doing nothing wrong sir, to deserve what he is getting . . ."

"Get out of my sight." This was  the cold reply Kreacher got. And it was the coldest Snape had ever hear him sound.

But Kreacher left. And, only after checking to see that he had truly gone, Snape used his wand, once again attached ropes connected to the tip of the wand to the high ceiling, and let the long ropes gently bring him to the floor. He hurt a bit, from old wounds pressured, and he hadn't been sleeping well and this ordeal had ired him, but he let none of it show. He dropped down and looked Black in the eyes. He knew Black had never had a proper family. Their families, were in fact somehow connected, but distantly, and he didn't truly know how.

Black, like him, was not born into loving conditions. But Black was born into a family who led him to believe he was better. Maybe not as good s his brother, but he had been led up that way. Severus had no siblings, and his father had never loved him; he had only just stopped beating him when he moved on to telling him how worthless he was. His mother could have never cared. Then she would have left, taking him with her, and not have married another scum, even worse. Adrian. His step-father. But he had got his own, in the end. But Severus felt no better on hat subject now that he had . . .

He realized Black wasn't always the man he thought him to be, just as he wasn't the man others thought him to be.  And in that moment, Black took everything he had once known about Snape and reassessed it also. Nothing had transpired to bring on this epiphany. Nothing. This was routine; Kreacher comes, Snape hides.

"Well . . . I suppose I ought to be going on and freeing your godson now. "

"yeah . . . please . . . get him out . . . he was just trying to help me . . . I wish I could help."

" . . . I know."

It was probably the first time he not tried to degrade him. He had, so many times, told the man things about how he was useless to the order, hiding away, enjoying his rest . . . but he knew the man didn't. And he knew that the man would give anything to be able to help his godson at this moment.

Sirius looked at him and said, "Thank you." And he knew Severus Snape understood. He himself had many times said that Snape hadn't changed sides. That Snape did not risk his life just by breathing. By having the memory of helping Harry Potter in his mind. But he knew better.

Their words hadn't been the most life changing, but they both understood. Sirius inclined his head. Severus inclined his back in good-bye.

It was the last time he would ever see Sirius Black. By time he got to Hogwarts, Hermione Grange and Harry Potter would have already managed to escape. They would be heading to the Forbidden Forest. He would alert the Order when they didn't return. But he would be forced to stay at Hogwarts. He could not publicly aid the headmaster.

But he would always remember the last moments he shared with Sirius Black. And remember that the man who died was not who he had always thought him to be.

This is chapter 8. I am sorry I can not give you chapter 9 for a while, as I am in a story contest. I have to write a story on a picture they gave me.  Wish me luck. Winner gets $100 gift certificate on Amazon.com. I could get a lot of books that way . . .

I cannot thank all of you that reviewed chapters 6 and 7. My email emptied and I just want to thank you. You know who you are. Or even if you don't, you are reading 5this, so thanks anyway. I put you all above the $100 bucks, and I will try but Im in so . . .