I looked at him for a long time. I almost couldn't believe the words had come out of my mouth. I knew I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who could hit me and not think twice about it. I kept expecting Morimoto to say something but he just continued to stare back at me. His expression was blank. I brushed the tears out of my eyes and pushed myself up off the couch. I didn't look back as I walked out the door.
I called a cab and had it take me home. The next few days' things seemed to be almost normal. I sat with Neela and Sean and the gang again. Everyone pretty much pretended nothing had happened and it was business as usual. The only thing that had really changed is that no one talked about Han and Morimoto had not been in my advanced math class all week. I hadn't seen or heard from him at all since I walked out of his apartment.
"Please you have to come with us tonight," Neela begged. It was Friday just after the last bell, and Neela was desperate to have me join them at the race tonight.
"I don't want to see Han or Morimoto," I said, leaning towards the train station.
"I miss being out with you," she complained. I could tell she understood though. "You have to promise you wont let those men keep you away forever."
"I promise."
Neela smiled and had turned to walk to the parking lot on the roof where I know Sean was waiting. I tried to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't help what came out next.
"Have you seen Morimoto?" I asked. She turned and looked at me and almost seemed to pity me.
"I saw him yesterday with Takashi, he didn't say anything to me," she responded.
"Do you know why he hasn't been at school?"
"Don't worry about him Ray, you are so much better without him." I felt my face droop when she said it even though I knew she was right. "Takashi said he has been acting weird, more reckless than usual," she added. I nodded and she walked off. I wanted so badly to know what he was doing and at the same time terrified to see him. No matter what I told myself I missed him deeply.
The weekend was very dull compared to how my life had been going. It was nice to eat dinner with my father and not have cars skidding around me and spend all day in my PJs. By the time Sunday had come around though I found myself sitting on my bed with my dragon bracelet hanging on my wrist holding it in front of my face. I craved the speed, I missed the excitement, I knew I had caught the racing bug; the lifestyle was something I saw being difficult to give up. I hadn't been in almost a month and it felt like something was missing because of it. Now that I had collected myself and recovered from all of the horrible things that had happened to me I couldn't go back to just sitting at home doing homework, it didn't feel right.
The next week I felt my spunk coming back and I was even able to listen to Sean talk about Han with Twink. There was still no sign of Morimoto at school and each day I walked into class and saw his seat empty it brought on a sadness I couldn't stop.
"Please tell me you're joining us tonight?" Neela asked.
"I think I am!"
"It hasn't been the same without you," Sean added.
"How am I going to get there?" I asked. We usually got ready at Han's and then all went over together. Neela realized what I was talking about instantly.
"Han wouldn't mind if you got ready with us. He misses you Ray." I shook my head and before I could even speak I saw she understood it wasn't going to happen.
"Drive your car tonight and pick Ray up once you are ready," Sean offered.
"You can come hang out for a little, my dad loves you."
"Anything to get have my girl with me!"
"Can you grab my car, I need to run back and get something," Sean said, interrupting up. Neela nabbed his keys and walked off. I could tell Sean was feeling awkward.
"Something wrong?" I asked him confused.
"Morimoto is going to be there tonight."
I laughed slightly, "I know I will be okay."
"Neela didn't want me to tell you, I mean she didn't want to upset you, its just she doesn't want to upset you." The more he rambled the thicker his southern accent got.
"What are you trying to say?"
"He hasn't been alone, he has been very public about taking home girls, sometimes several of them… I just didn't want you to be blindsided." I felt my breath freeze inside my body. "If it were me I would want to be prepared." He added, clearly feeling guilty.
"No, thanks I am glad you told me." I swallowed hard. "I am going to miss my train." I turned to walk away.
"I can give you a ride," he yelled but I had started to jog, I needed to get away from him, from people. I ran into the girl's restroom the tears falling down my face, and I couldn't help but vomit. My entire body was shaking. I could hear other girls whispering outside my stall. I whipped my face and my mouth and walked out. I splashed water all over my face and got myself together enough to get home.
I was not going to let him beat me, if he was over me like it was nothing then I was going to show him I could do the same. When Neela came over I could tell she was a little taken off guard.
"That is… a sexy outfit," she said, with a laugh.
"Now that I am a single lady I figured people would like to see it!" I said trying to keep myself convinced it was still a good idea. An hour later my hair and makeup was done and we were ready to head out.
"I cannot get over how sexy you look!" Neela gushed.
"Look at yourself!" I replied.
I had on the smallest pair of leather shorts I could squeeze into; the small fabric did not cover my ass nearly enough. I matched it with a black leather bra and covered it with half of a sheer white shirt I had tied back. I had even convicted Neela to slide into a slinky white dress. Standing next to her I felt like we were a couple of Charlie's Angles.
We were last to arrive and the look on everyone's faces had me feeling a little embarrassed by how I was dressed. People who I had seen in school everyday and racers who I watched week after week were staring at me like they had never seen me a day before in my life.
"Come on Ray you have to strut like you know how hot you are," Neela giggled.
"I look like a stripper," I blushed.
"I mean maybe a little but what's life if you don't spice it up," she joked back. And then I saw Han. He was already looking at me. I immediately looked at the floor and then back at him. He was striding over towards us.
"I'm going to go over there," I stumbled out, before heading in the opposite direction. I saw Neela frown at me before turning to embrace Han. I pushed my way through the crowd until I bumped into DK. He looked at me confused.
"I didn't recognize you, you look… different," he said.
"New look for a new me," I mumbled.
"Well keep yourself under control, don't upset Morimoto." Hearing his name made it hard to breath. I nodded and he walked past me. I looked around for Sean or Twink or any familiar face. All too quickly I saw one I recognized.
I stared at him and analyzed everything about him. He looked the same but different at the same time. What I couldn't seem to rip my eyes away from was the girl leaning her ass into his crotch region, as he had a hand gently place on her hip. I couldn't lie; she was amazing looking not a flaw to be found. And then he saw me; he caught me staring at him. I didn't look away like before, I couldn't. What happened next I never would have guessed.
The girl on Morimoto's lap almost fell onto the ground he pushed by her so fast. He jogged straight over to me and then stopped 6 inches in front of me. I could tell he was just as surprised by his actions as I was.
"Hey," he said, in a low voice.
"Hi," I whispered back. Just one syllable and I was out of breath. I got my focus back quickly though.
"Your new girlfriend doesn't look too happy," I said crossing my arms across my chest. He looked back over his shoulder and then back at me. "I've heard there have been lots of new girls," I continued, but he wasn't reacting.
"You don't need to dress like that to get peoples attention. You are so beautiful Ray." It felt like my heart had stopped and I shook my head to keep myself from crying.
"Morimoto iza, race time," DK said, waving him over. He looked back at me and then put out his hand.
"Come with me," he said.
"I am not going to stand with you. Not while you have someone like that waiting on you," I said gesturing back to the women who was staring at us.
"Leave with me."
"You have to race."
"I need to talk to you."
"Morimoto it is time to line up, Ray come with me," Neela said walking up to us. I could tell she was uncomfortable with us being so close to each other. DK was now walking up and I could tell he was not happy.
"Let's go," he said putting his hand on Morimoto's shoulder.
"We are leaving," Morimoto said. He grabbed my hand and looked at me. I nodded and followed him. The look on DK's face was pure shock. I had the feeling something like this had never happened. I noticed everyone was staring at us. It was clearly something no one had seen before. Morimoto started to jog and I did my best to keep up. I heard DK yell at us but I couldn't even turn around to hear him because I didn't want to trip.
We made it to his car and I got in, it felt like we were running away but deep down I knew it couldn't last. Seeing him was like a hit of some drug. The withdrawals I had been experiencing were gone and it was the best kind of high. We drove for almost an hour in silence.
"Where are we going?" I finally asked. It almost seemed like Morimoto was nervous. He didn't respond and I didn't press the issue. We eventually made it to the top of a mountain. He drifted around each curve of the mountain and I couldn't help but smile. When we were finally at the top the sight was too beautiful to even describe. We were staring down at al of Tokyo. I followed him to the edge and he wrapped his arms around me.
"I have missed you so much, and I didn't even realize it until I saw you today," Morimoto said, I had never seen him like this.
"Ray you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You are like nothing I ever wanted in a women but no one compares with you…" He took a deep breath. "When you told me you wanted respect and to be equals it goes against everything I have ever been taught. A man in power needs a women who is seen and not heard, but you want to be heard and I know I cannot change that in you."
"Why would you want to?" I asked.
"It is hard for me... having you back talk and say no, it makes me angry."
I pushed away from him. It did make him angry and when he got angry he got violent and no matter what I told myself I could not go back to that. He walked in a small circle and kicked the ground. He seemed frustrated.
"What about all those girls you took home? You didn't seem to miss me then," I said, wrapping my arms around myself.
He snapped his head up and glared at me. "It is not what you think… I tried to take those girls home but I couldn't… I couldn't make it happen."
"What do you mean make it happen? I'm sure they didn't say no, no women says no to you," I replied, rolling my eyes to keep tears from falling down my face, I didn't want to cry.
"I couldn't get it up Ray! I tried everything to get away from you and move on. Girls, drinking, anything to move on; when I saw you that first day in class I never ever planned on you being anything special. I just wanted to nail the new girl, then I heard you talk, I saw you blush when I got close to you, but you weren't scared of me. It was like nothing I had ever seen."
"You fascinated me, made me feel special when everyone else made me feel like an outsider. I love being around you but then you hit me and it all goes away."
"You are going to make me angry and I am going to yell and break things, but Ray…" He turned away from me. "I cannot change who I am, I wont stop doing what I am doing, and I am always going to be bad." He turned and walked over to me, grabbed me tightly and forcefully. "I am going to be rough and aggressive."
"Why are you saying all of this?" I whispered.
He squeezed me a little too tightly and then let go of me completely.
…
"I love you Ray."
A/N Soooo how should she respond? Getting close to the end here! hoping to have a flashy finally
