Chapter 7
My free time for the next few days was spent down in the dungeon, revising notes and making sure I was doing everything correctly. I was avoiding pretty much every single element of Remus, who wouldn't look at me or talk to me. As awkward as things were between he and I, he was spending more time with Lily, which boiled my blood even more.
When I was finished with some revisions, I locked my dungeon door and made my way up the stairs to the Great Hall for dinner. I took a different seat than usual, a little further down from Lily, especially further from Remus. I began to help myself to some chicken when Di came and sat next to me.
"What's up?" she asked, helping herself to some food.
I shrugged, paying no mind to her sitting here.
"Just a little perturbed."
"Perturbed?"
"Mhmm." I took a sip of my pumpkin juice.
"I got the summary of Halloween, by the way," she whispered, despite the chatter of the hall.
"Really?" I looked over at her. Her brown eyes were highlighted today with a soft pink.
"Really," she nodded, eating a chip.
I looked down at my plate and grimaced.
"Who said anything?" I asked.
"Lily gave me a brief summary of it all. She didn't go into detail," she added quickly when she saw my face. "She did say that she would like to talk to you, but you're not talking to her, I see." She looked down the table at where Lily was sitting with Mary and then back at me. "Boggarts are scary things…."
"Yeah." I nodded slowly, picking up my fork and poking at my food. "More like heart-wrenching things…."
"I'm assuming it talked to you?" she asked with a faraway look in her eye that I didn't feel like questioning.
"It did. Told me a lot of what Mother was telling me over holiday…. And then some other things, of course."
She bit her lip.
"That's something. Afraid you're not going to make it in the world?"
I cracked a smile. She put an arm around me in a one-armed hug.
"Everything will be okay, okay?"
"Okay," I nodded as she pecked my cheek.
"I'm going back to my table now." She glanced down at Sirius. "He's watching me again, the bastard."
I sent a glare down to Sirius, my eyebrows raised. Once Di got up and went back to the Hufflepuff table, I finished my food and headed up to the common room with the rest of the crowd going to their common rooms.
Once I got up to the tower, I felt a tap on my shoulder to see none other than Remus standing there, his face expressionless.
"We have rounds tonight, by the way," he said as James, Sirius, and Peter behind him went into the common room.
"Oh, we do?"
He sighed.
"Yes, we do."
I nodded as he turned around and I followed him. My heart was racing with anxiety. He had sounded annoyed.
Last year rounds were fun. I had enjoyed the few times a month to wander the castle after hours to tell students to go to bed before lights' out at ten. Remus was always fun to walk around with as well. He seemed to know the castle inside and out. Sometimes he and I would go down to the kitchens and get snacks to take back up to the common room. I had a feeling though that rounds this night were going to be quiet and awkward.
After telling about five students to go to bed, we walked past a portrait of the night sky. I stopped and looked at it, the odd feeling that I was forgetting something again building in my stomach. It did remind me.
"Did you finish the Astronomy homework that's due tomorrow?" I asked quietly and slowly, going through my mental archives to see if I had done it. I glanced at Remus, who looked perplexed. He glanced at the floor in deep thought. When he looked back at me, he looked concerned.
"That's due tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow's the sixth, right?" I asked rubbing my hands together nervously.
When it hit him, he gave me a slow nod.
"It is due tomorrow."
We both looked at each and then darted to the common room. I ran up and got my bag and stuffed my Astronomy things into it. My star chart was no where near finished. I huffed as I swung it over my shoulder and ran back down. It dawned on me right then who I was going to be working with and I tried to control my anxiety. Remus was going to be doing his homework with me… up in the Astronomy tower…. I urged myself to calm down as he met me in the common room.
He was talking to James, who gave him a friendly punch in the arm and a wink. Remus turned a slight shade of pink when I approached them. I remained calm.
"Have fun doing your homework, Prefects," James chuckled merrily, turning away and going up to the dormitory.
I watched him walk away, glaring.
"C'mon, before you kill him," Remus muttered.
I followed Remus out of the common room and up to the Astronomy tower where we settled with our books open and our charts in our laps. I stole a look at Remus's chart as he flipped pages in his book. Never thought I'd see the day when Remus Lupin hadn't done his homework.
"Are you going to be able to finish that?" I asked, several minutes later, breaking the silent of the night. Except that this silence was actually tense and awkward.
He sighed as he placed a star on the chart.
"I hope so. I just can't believe that I didn't do it…."
I smirked as I picked up my telescope, shielding my left eye to see without the moon in it.
"Turning into me," I joked, really trying to lighten the mood a bit.
He chuckled softly.
"That would be a dreadful thing," he said.
We worked some more in silence. I was mentally mad that the moon was almost full and that I should have done this work a few nights ago when the moon wasn't as bright and obnoxious. I shivered and yawned more than once. I was also mad at myself for not bringing my cloak up. Apparently, in the heat of the moment, I had forgotten that November was cold. At night. On a tower. Dramatic irony.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move, and when I looked over to see if it was Remus, he was gone and then something warm draped over my shoulders. I looked up behind me and watched, astounded, as Remus settled back down next to me.
He glanced over at me and then back up at the sky. He didn't say anything. I had a feeling that he had felt obligated to give me his cloak. Maybe it made him feel better, I don't know. I adjusted it to fit right and finished plotting Andromeda, all the while trying to keep my eyes opened as I worked. I had finished Andromeda and began looking for Pisces as I had realized that Remus' cloak smelt very nice. Was he cold? Why did he smell so nice?
I jerked my eyes opened and found that the only light lighting the tower was the moon. My neck was hurting. And then I panicked as I began looking for my chart and quill. I looked next to me to find Remus had lay down, but propped himself up on his elbow when he saw me looking around.
"Where- What?" I started to ask, suppressing a yawn.
He sat up and pulled my bag towards him and gave me my chart. I took it and examined it.
It was finished.
"Did you…?"
I looked over at him, my heart somewhere between my throat and my ears. He did a half-shrug.
"It was nothing," he said. "You fell asleep."
"I did?"
This made him laugh.
"Yes. Yes you did. I started telling you something and looked over when you didn't respond. Out like a light. So… I figured it would only be nice and all…."
"You didn't have to, y'know… I could have finished it myself."
"No. By the time I had realized you were asleep, I was almost finished."
He stood up and picked up his bag and drew it over his shoulder.
"Should we head back to the common room now?"
I put my chart away and carefully stood, trying not to trip on the cloak that was much too big for me. We walked back to the common room in silence. We didn't even get harassed by Peeves, which was a blessing. Nor did we see Filch. The Fat Lady yawned and asked us why we were still awake and doing out in the corridor. We didn't answer, but walked into the common room.
Before heading up the stairs, I stopped and turned to Remus.
"Thanks, again, for finishing that for me…."
He gave me a small smile.
"It's no problem, really."
I nodded, trying to think of something else to say. We were just standing at the bottom of the two staircases. He turned as if to head up the staircase, only to turn around again to look at me.
"It was a favour because you reminded me," he said, a little coolly. He turned with that and went up the stairs, disappearing into the darkness.
I climbed the stairs to my dormitory slowly. I tried to reason with myself about how cold the last statement was or if it wasn't meant to be that harsh. It certainly seemed harsh.
I changed into my nightgown, throwing his cloak on the chair. As soon as I hit the pillow, I was out.
The next day, Remus didn't show up for any of his classes. I didn't worry too much. James had turned in Remus' work for Astronomy and Herbology. I had given James a look as I saw him do it, but he ignored me. One of these days I was going to figure it all out.
I skipped dinner that night to work on my potion. One of the house elves, Finch (my personal favourite) had brought me down a plate of some dinner. He bowed as he left to let me get on with business.
I chopped up some larkspur blossoms and set them aside. I carefully measured them to make sure it was the right amount I needed. Larkspur was highly poisonous, especially in large quantities. Like nutmeg, only not a common spice.
When I had an adequate amount of larkspur, I searched for my peppermint when I heard a knock at the door.
Angry that I can't have peace and quiet (the last thing I want is Peeves to come down here and destroy everything), I went to the door and opened it. It was Lily.
I was half-tempted to shut the door in her face, but she looked flustered.
"Are you okay?" I asked, trying not to be harsh, folding my arms across my chest.
She sighed deeply, her head hanging low.
"I know you're mad at me," she said quietly.
"And how did you come to this conclusion?" I asked, keeping my gaze stern.
"You stopped talking to me…."
The tone of her voice made me drop my arms to my sides as she looked up at me. Her eyes were glistening and bloodshot. She had been crying.
"What happened?" I asked, genuinely concerned.
"I just don't want you to be mad at me because Remus has been talking to me."
I swallowed, trying to hold back anger.
"What d'you mean 'talking'?" I couldn't keep my voice from shaking.
"Not like that!" she panicked. "He's been worried that… that you're afraid of him and that you don't ever want to talk to him again."
I pondered on that while she sniffed silently. Still, I thought, as she realized I wasn't going to answer and left me alone, if she was telling the truth, it didn't make me feel any better.
Sighing, I packed away my things and locked the door and went back to the common room to work on my History of Magic essay. James and the others weren't in the common room, making it unreasonably quiet. I picked a table by a window and cracked it open, regardless of the chill. I sat there and wrote until about two in the morning, getting snatches of the wolf out in the forest howling.
