Starlight Starbright

Starlight Starbright

Chapter Seven—Memory

Touya pulled his motorcycle up to the house slowly. The weather was murder out there, he felt thankful that he had actually been able to make it home. Even with his helmet and rainjacket he felt like every inch of him was drenched.

As he pulled the bike up to the front steps he noticed someone standing there. The first thing that struck him was that he was absolutely dry. The rain simply didn't fall on this guy, but ran around him, pooling on the ground and then away. He was wearing a Seijou High uniform, glasses, and his dark hair was pulled into a short tail. Touya felt a nagging feeling that he should recognize this kid.

The young man smiled and stood up, "Kinomoto Touya-san," he said with a short bow.

Realization hit him. "You're that guy. The one that came from England." His expression darkened. "The one with Akizuki."

"That I am."

"What are you doing here?"

"Could we talk about this inside? You're wet, and I'm tired of holding the rain off like this."

Touya shrugged and opened the door, letting them into the house. If this guy was here then that meat that something magical was going down. That meant it had to do with Sakura and ultimately with him. Just because he didn't have magic anymore didn't mean that he wasn't going to get involved.

He made tea while he toweled off his hair. It was only polite considering that there was a guest. Touya slammed the mug down in front of Eriol. "You wanted to talk? So talk."

His unfriendly mood didn't shake the young man a bit. "Really I'm only here to tell you that Yukito won't be back for a while. Until the storm breaks at least."

Touya raised an eyebrow and slid into the seat across from him. "And why's that?"

"His other form is with Sakura-san at the moment."

"What? Did something happen? Is she all right?" Touya stood abruptly.

"Relax," Eriol took a sip of the unsweetened tea and grimaced at it's bitterness, "Yue assured me that it was nothing dangerous."

Touya sat back down, but didn't relax. "If it wasn't dangerous, then why did he go?"

Eriol looked at him over the rim of his mug, his eyes deadly serious, "Before I answer that I have a question for you. What do you think of Yue?"

The abrupt change of topic confused him. "I…don't know. I don't dislike the guy or anything. As long as he's looking out for Sakura…" He thought of the winged being as little as possible, truth be told. He was glad that he guarded Sakura, but it was Yukito that he cared about. Yukito that he loved. And even if the two guys were a little alike, they were hardly the same.

"I see." Eriol put down his mug and stared into its depths for a moment before answering. "I believe that Yue is in love with your sister. That's why he was so concerned for her, even though she wasn't in any real trouble."

"What!?" Touya jumped up again, nearly spilling his tea. "What the hell do you mean, 'he's in love with her!?'"

Eriol made a soothing gesture. "Calm down please." He took another sip of tea. "You were never meant to happen, you know. In my future Yukito and Sakura were supposed to fall in love and live happily ever after. He was not supposed to fall in love with you." He said the last with irritation coloring his voice.

Touya glared, "Well excuse me."

"No, no. I didn't mean it live that. I'm sorry." Eriol took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose, "You just make everything a great deal more complicated. I simply thought that you should know, that while you and Yukito are having a happy life together that you're doing it at someone else's expense."

Touya's eyes went wide with shock. That was the last thing he expected the mage to say. He looked at his cup, suddenly wishing it was something stronger, much, much stronger. "Then why hasn't he ever said anything? He hardly ever appears. The last time was…" /The last time was over Sakura/ he realized. /I wondered why he reacted like that…/

Eriol said, "I think it's because he doesn't want to trouble you. He cares for his other form of Yukito. That and he's too honorable for his own good. He doesn't want to take away from your time together." He drained his cup and stood, "It's something for you to think about."

He walked over to the door and slipped his shoes back on. "But please, no matter what you decide to do or feel about this, do so carefully. Yue is dear to me still, and I don't want to see him hurt because you don't like his feelings, or like sharing."

And with that he walked out into the rain.

Touya stared for a moment at the empty mugs on the table before collecting them up to wash. His first reaction was anger. /Damn winged freak, who ever asked him to be there?/ It was Yue that complicated the relationships, not him. /No one's getting near my imouto. No one./

But as he rinsed the soap off of the sturdy mugs his thoughts began to shift. In a way he could sympathize. Locking himself away, never admitting his feelings. How long had he waited before he finally told Yuki how he felt? He had always just assumed that Yue's feelings were the same as Yuki's being part of the same person. That Yue was content to live his life vicariously.

/I guess the guy deserves a chance…/

But still, why did it have to be Sakura!? He slammed the cups down into the drying rack. On the other hand, if she had to be with someone, and he supposed that she did, it ought to be someone he trusted enough to protect her. And he had never trusted the brat that much.

The rain was still coming down in sheets outside. Any more and he'd expect there to be fish swimming through the air. Touya retreated into the living room and flipped through the TV channels, but nothing was on. He flopped back on the floor, working a kink out of his shoulder. Work had been hell. He felt even more tired than usual.

It had taken a long time for him to admit that he needed Yue's help, and that Yue needed his power. Touya knew that Yuki was disappearing, and he knew how to stop it. But it had still caused him a lot of sleepless nights over the decision. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done, surrender his control, surrender his power. Trust that someone else would keep his promise for him. Someone he didn't even know…

What would his mother think…he wondered as he drifted off to sleep on the tatami.

* * *

They were at King Penguin Park. Two year old Sakura played happily in the sandbox, piling it as high as she could with chubby little fingers, her tongue stuck out in deep concentration.

Nine year old Touya watched from near the swingset, double checking to make sure that nothing was wrong, and that none of the other kids were going to pick on his sister. His mother noticed it and laughed softly. He ran over to her and hugged her around the waist.

Nadeshiko ruffled his hair and knelt down next to him. "You really like being the protective big brother, don't you Touya-kun?"

Seeing that no one else was looking little Touya nodded. "Nobody better pick on my imouto."

"That's good," her eyes glowed softly with love as she looked at her children, "She's a very special little girl," she tapped him on the nose, "and you're a very special little boy."

He frowned at his. "I'm not little. Sakura's little. I'm almost ten!"

"Excuse me, my mistake."

Touya looked over at Sakura, "Since I'm bigger I'll take care of her. Forever and ever."

Nadeshiko didn't say anything, but her expression turned suddenly serious, and her hands tightened around his shoulders.

The scene shifted. Another memory, another place. His mother was sick. His father brought them both to visit her in the hospital. Touya held his hand while Sakura rode in the crook of his arm. She turned her face into Fujitaka's shirt. Touya knew she hated the cold feel of the hospital room.

Touya didn't blame her, he couldn't understand any of this. If she was sick then she should be at home were Otousan would make her hot soup and he and Sakura would help her-even if Sakura was still just a baby. Only three. He didn't understand how anyone could get better in a place like this, full of steel and white tile. Where everything smelled like clean, sickly sweet and cold. How could she get better without the people who loved her around?

The room was a riot of bright flowers, red, yellow, orange and white. Fujitaka laughed a little when he saw them. "I see Sonomi-kun's been here."

His wife smiled a little sadly. "I asked her and Ojiisan to stay, since I knew you were coming. It would have been nice to have you all here together. They haven't even met Touya-kun or Sakura-chan."

Sakura wriggled down from her father's arms, somehow sensing the mood and trying to change it. She ran over with a crude construction paper card clutched in her little hands. "Okaasan, Sakura made you a card, so you'll be better soon."

Pink construction paper hearts and liberal glitter adorned the outside, and inside, in purple crayon hiragana was scrawled a big 'I Love You.' "I wrote it myself," Sakura said pointing at the messy symbols, "Otousan showed me."

Nadeshiko smiled a real smile and kissed her daughter on the forehead, "I'm so proud of you sweetie. Thank you, I'll treasure it forever and forever." Sakura glowed at the praise.

Touya rushed over with his own gift. "We did origami in class. I made you a crane." He knew it wasn't perfect, the crane's head was bent at a strange angle, and there were lines in the patterned paper where it had been folded again and again.

But she seemed to love it. "It's beautiful, thank you," she said and kissed him on the forehead too.

"Do you think if I made a thousand I could have a wish? Just like the girl in the story we read?"

"You never know, what would you wish for?"

"I'd wish you were all better and could come home with us."

Fujitaka turned away for a moment, scrubbing his eyes with a handkerchief while Nadeshiko hugged her son tightly. "That's sweet of you Touya-kun," she whispered in a shaky voice, "but I think you should save your wishes for yourself."

Some time later Nadeshiko rested, letting the medication do its job. Sakura had fallen asleep curled on a pair of hard plastic chairs while Fujitaka went off in search of coffee.

His mother was laid back on her pillows, her eyes closed. She seemed horribly fragile all of a sudden. Not real at all, like she was only something out of his imagination. He reached out and touched her arm, just to reassure himself that she was still really there.

"Touya-kun?" she opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly.

He shook his head, just glad to hear her voice.

"You look so much like your father, you know. Except for the hair, that's mine," she said touching his hair softly, "You even have the same power, even if he doesn't know it yet."

"Okaasan?"

"Touya-kun, will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Will you look after Sakura-chan when I'm gone?"

He grabbed her hand in his. "But you're getting better. The doctors told Otousan so."

She cupped her hand against his cheek and smiled. "Doctors don't know everything. I just don't have the power I need to fight this, not anymore. I'm sorry. I know that this is hard for you."

Touya cried into her palm, not caring about what anyone might think of him.

"I need you to promise me. Sakura-chan's very special, and I won't be here for her. And your father doesn't know how, he doesn't have his power yet. I need you to protect her for me…when he comes."

Touya knew, even at that age, that this was a promise that would change his life forever. He didn't understand what his mother was talking about, not really. But how could he deny his own mother? He looked over at his sleeping sister and knew that there really wasn't a choice anyway. It was what he would have done from the beginning.

"I promise."

Her smile grew brighter and she relaxed as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Thank you. Thank you, Touya-kun. I'm so sorry to ask this of you. To ask you to take this burden. And I'm so proud of you." She kissed him again on the forehead, "I love you so much."

She sighed and sank back into the pillows, suddenly seeming very tired. "I think…that I need to rest for a little bit now," she said, her eyelids fluttering shut.

For a moment Touya panicked. But she really was only resting. He clenched his fists tightly, "Don't worry, Okaasan, I'll take care of Sakura."

* * *

His dream dissolved into reality, a very pleasant reality as Yukito's lips brushed against his own. He waited for Yukito to pull away before opening his eyes, not wanting to break the kiss.

Yukito smiled at him, his golden eyes soft with a smile, "You're awake," he whispered.

Touya grinned and quirked an eyebrow. "Who could sleep through that?" Yukito was just a little wet from the rain, drops of water spangled in his pale hair, dotted on his glasses. He didn't look quite real, more fey than human.

"I'm glad you're back. What time is it?" Touya said, tracing the line of Yukito's cheek with a finger.

Yukito caught his hand. "It's just past seven. I'm sorry I'm so late," he crooked a smile, "I haven't been myself lately."

That made Touya's smile fade. He sat up, facing Yukito, his expression suddenly serious. It was hard to ask him questions like this, knowing that Yue was there behind his eyes. But there was no other way, he had to ask. "Yuki…Do you mind it at all? Being him too?"

Yukito was silent for a moment. Touya usually didn't talk about this sort of thing. It was always something they talked around, lived around, even though the dark haired boy said he didn't care. "No," he said slowly, "I mean, he came first, you know? He's a part of me. And I wouldn't be here if not for him, and if not for you."

He fiddled with his glasses, cleaning the water from them. "And I feel grateful that he's given what he has to us. There's no reason that he shouldn't demand more time to just…be. I know I would have. It's just kind of weird now, because I'm not used to him doing it." He paused, "The only thing that really bothers me is that…You know, I can sense his feelings sometimes? When they're really strong that is. And so sometimes, I feel sad without ever knowing why."

Touya looked down at his own hands folded in his lap. There was nothing he could say to that. Nothing he could do. He wished that he had more power. The power to keep Sakura safe and happy. The power to solve the conflicts between Yukito and Yue. But he didn't, not anymore. He understood how his mother must have felt that day, trusting someone else to solve the problems, because she just couldn't anymore.

/But if I can at least make him happy…/ Touya let the thought trail off and kissed Yukito long and hard. When they parted he looked into Yukito's eyes and said huskily, "I don't ever want you to be sad, Yuki."

Yukito smiled. "As long as I'm with you, I won't be."

After that, coherent thought melted into emotion and sensation. Thoughts of dinner were forgotten as the two men moved together, touching, feeling. Touya traced a trail of hot kisses down Yukito's chest, while Yukito twined his hands in Touya's dark hair. They lost their loneliness and sadness together, until their world was nothing but heat and passion. Until their world was nothing but each other.

To be continued…

Japanese:

Imouto—Little Sister

Otousan—Father

Okaasan—Mother

Ojiisan—Grandfather

Author's Notes:

  1. Arrrgh!!! Another sad chapter! Does it suck? Is it okay? Please let me know, my judgment is completely screwed up as far as this chapter's concerned.
  2. I don't really have much to say about this chapter, except that it was easier to write than I thought it would be. I know that the action is moving a little slowly, but I'm trying to make sure that I have all my pieces in place before everything goes to hell in a handbasket. Please just bear with me.
  3. Soundtrack for this chapter is Cowboy Bebop soundtracks, Blue and No Disc, and the X Character File CD. Yokko Kano rocks.