Ellie marched over to the centre of the clearing before she threw her rucksack on the floor and plonked herself down on top of it. She reached into the outside pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar just as Remus strolled past with the map stuck to his nose. Ellie watched in amusement as Remus rotated the map in his hands and strolled about the clearing trying to find the tiniest clue as to where they might be.
"Any luck?" Ellie asked with a mouthful of chocolate but Remus didn't answer. Ellie swallowed hard and tried again.
"Any luck?"
"Hmmm, what?" Remus said finally looking up from his map.
"Any luck?" Ellie sighed.
"Any...luck...?" Remus asked confused.
"As to where we are...?" Ellie said shaking her head, "That is what you've been doing isn't it?"
"What? No!" Remus said looking aggravated, "I know exactly where we are...I'm...I'm trying to erm...find the best way to get to the key points on the map...you know...Lily and James might have decided to stay where we can find them."
"Ok then...which way to the waterfall?" Ellie smirked.
"I...uh...why do you want to know that?" Remus stammered, "They won't be there....they're lost remember?"
"No I know..." Ellie
smiled, "Just for some idea about where we are."
"I...erm...look
we're wasting time," Remus said hastily, "Lily and James won't
be anywhere near the waterfall."
"Well if you ask me..." Ellie said, standing up and throwing her rucksack over her shoulder, "I think we're just as lost as they are."
"Yeah well no-one did ask you did they?" Remus snapped, shoving the map in his pocket, "I don't see you coming up with any ideas. You haven't even touched the map since we got it. 'If you ask me' I'd say you've been completely useless. "
"Wow, maybe you do have behaviour problems," Ellie huffed, her eyes narrowed, "I don't know what your problem is Remus; one minute you're a nice, sweet, quiet guy with a good sense of humour and then suddenly you turn into...into some monster!" Remus' eyes widened; she had no idea just how right she was. Suddenly Ellie's breathing became heavy and she advanced towards Remus causing him to take a step back with every step she took.
"Have you ever thought that I haven't touched the map because you seemed to want it more?" She said angrily, "Did you ever think that maybe I was just being polite? You didn't even ask me if I had any ideas, you just assumed that your own were better, or even still, believed that you were the only one with a brain! And as for useless, look who can't even use a map! " Remus swallowed hard as she began poking his chest with each point she made; he'd never made anyone this angry before, but then again the others knew about his 'furry little problem' and what it made him do.
"You know what?" Ellie said suddenly, stopping in her tracks just as Remus backed into a tree, "I give up! That's it! I'm going back to the waterfall! You can find you own way back seeing as you know exactly where we are!"
"Y-you don't know the way back..." Remus tried feebly.
"I stuck some chocolate wrappers under a couple of rocks and onto some tree branches," Ellie sighed, "Someone had to do something seeing as you had no idea where you were going."
"Y-you mean you just let me drag you everywhere even though you had a trail?" Remus asked puzzled but Ellie didn't answer, she just marched on ahead. Remus watched her leave with a confused expression painted across his face. Why would she just let him get them lost when she knew how to get back?
"Ellie wait!" Remus called after her, entering the thick of the forest and darting over a fallen log. Remus watched in amusement as Ellie bent down to pick up a chocolate wrapper pointing out from under a rock before proceeding into the forest, continuing on her trail.
"Ellie!" Remus called but she ignored him, tucking the chocolate wrapper into her pocket.
"Ellie wait..." Remus said, darting forward to grab her wrist. Ellie huffed and turned around to face him, pulling her wrist from his grasp, making her backpack slip off of her shoulders and crash to the floor, spewing the contents all over the place. Ellie sighed and dropped to her knees, picking up the stuff that had fallen out of her backpack. Remus bit his lip and knelt down opposite her, helping her clear up.
"Look I'm sorry for being such a grouch back there," Remus said quietly, " It's just that when-" Remus stopped, seeing the book that he had just picked up off of the floor.
"Th-this is the book I'm
reading," He said, even more confused than ever.
"S-so?"
Ellie blushed.
"If you knew what it was about why did you ask me about it on the way here?" Remus asked, "In the carriage?"
"I...erm...well...hadn't read much of it then and wanted to know you're opinion," She lied.
"But...but you're almost finished..."
"I'm a fast reader," Ellie said hastily before she snatched it out of his hand and rammed it into her backpack. Suddenly, Remus felt a small smile spread across his lips followed by an unfamiliar warmth and Ellie's blush deepened; had she really pretended not to know anything about it just to get his attention?
"What?" Ellie asked angelically but Remus just shook his head and his smile vanished.
"Ellie...." He
hesitated, "I...my behaviour problems are a little different than
what you might think..."
"How do you mean?" Ellie asked,
standing up now that her stuff was back in her backpack.
"Well...they're not constant; I have erm...episodes around a particular time and when I get too near these episodes I get...grouchy," He explained as vaguely as possible, joining her in standing up, "I-if I just take my pills then I'm fine...I'm...I'm not always like that." A large grin spread across Ellie's face.
"What?" Remus asked.
"You mean you just ran through the forest, leapt over a log, pulled my arm out of its socket and ripped my backpack off my shoulders just to get yourself back in my good books?"
"Oh...I...erm...I felt like I erm...needed to explain myself," Remus mumbled and Ellie beamed.
"That's
more like the Remus I like," She said before blushing madly when
Remus' eyebrows rose, "That is...I mean...I meant..."
"I
know," Remus smiled and Ellie hid behind a curtain of hair.
***
Lily opened her eyes slowly. The small torch was shining in the corner, the only source of light, feeble in the darkness; the rain had passed and the dream she'd had had been so strange. Lily sat up in her sleeping bag, surprised to feel the bare skin of her legs brush against the material. She looked down at her clothes to discover an oversized, scarlet, 'Westgate Winged Horses' shirt covering what was visible above the sleeping bag. Lily swallowed hard; it was James' and the events of that evening suddenly came flooding back. What had she dreamt? What was real? Did she really hear James say that he loved her?
"Ja-Potter!" She called out, taking the cautious response after what she thought were last night's antics. Lily stepped out of the tent opening, taking the torch with her, to find her clothes hanging on the branch of a nearby tree. Lily sighed and reached out to touch them; they were a little damp but it was better than walking around in James' shirt.
No matter how good it smells and...warm...it feels...
Lily shook her head; she couldn't think about that, not when it was obvious that she couldn't have the owner. It wouldn't work. How could she be with someone she spent half her time arguing with? Lily crawled back into the tent, her ankle with less feeling than usual and pulled off James' shirt before throwing on her own clothes. They were a lot dryer than they had been earlier on but there were still a few damp patches here and there, making Lily miss the warmth of James' shirt. Lily crawled out of the tent again with the torch in her mouth and limped over to the small stream that ran throughout the forest. With no lights around but the torch, the moon was much brighter than usual, a ghostly orb casting glittering silver rays onto the water before her. Its eeriness made her shudder as she clutched her torch tighter; she hated the dark. Suddenly, there was a rustling in the bushes and Lily hid behind the trunk of a large tree, fumbling around for her wand. A large stag galloped through the trees over to the stream, drinking deeply as Lily peered around the edge; it was the same stag as before. Lily's heart softened at the sight of it; it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen with its elegant frame, it was almost hypnotic. It was gentle, beautiful and powerful all at the same time, something not many things can claim to be. Lily found herself creeping towards it with her hand outstretched, pocketing her wand, eager to touch it.
I wonder if it will recognise me...
Just as she reached out her hand to touch its back, her fingers brushed against warm, human skin and a half naked James Potter stood before her. He whirled around to face her and Lily took several hurried steps back.
"W-what?" Lily asked bewildered as she slipped on the wet rocks. This time James lurched forward to catch her, the bottoms of his jeans now soaking wet as pulled her up so that she was pressed firmly against his bare chest.
"Lily! W-what are you...? I thought you were..." James stammered but she had already seen too much.
"You were the stag?" Lily said, her eyes wide, "But- but how?"
"I-we..."
"We?"
Lily asked, "Who else
is an illegal animagus?"
"I...we have a good reason but I just can't tell you," James said hurriedly.
"Do you realise how much
trouble you could get into?" Lily yelled, "This isn't just fun
Potter, this is against the law!"
"We have a good reason!"
James insisted, his eyes wide with worry.
"See this is why we can't be together James!" Lily said, blushing when she realized that she was confessing that she wanted him even if she couldn't have him; vulnerable, "How can you possibly think that it'll work when you're doing stuff like this?"
"I have a good reason
for it!" James said, holding her tighter, "I just can't tell
you!"
"Why not?"
"I promised...I promised a friend I
wouldn't," James said, biting his lip. He knew it sounded crazy
to her, stupid even, but he couldn't tell Lily why he and Sirius
had become underage animagus' without exposing Remus' 'furry
little problem' and he couldn't do that no matter how much he
wanted to. Lily looked at James, seeing the panic in his eyes. What
was he hiding? It had to be something to do with Remus or Black;
James would rather die than be disloyal to his best friends.
"Lily, you know I've always dreamed of becoming an Auror," James said, breaking the silence, "I'd never do anything that would stop me from fulfilling that dream unless it was really important. I'm not doing it just for a laugh or...to show off or anything...this is serious." Lily stared back at him without a word, staring straight into those penetrating hazel eyes, her green trying to be equally as penetrating in an attempt to decode the truth.
It makes sense really...James Potter being the most beautiful thing I've ever seen...
Lily! Stop it!
"You really are an idiot Potter," Lily frowned, pushing off of his bare chest, tingling with the warmth of his skin.
"Lily," James said, the panic still in his eyes, "I know we've had our fights and everything but you wouldn't...you won't tell anyone will you?" Lily didn't know what hurt the most, having to put all of her weight on her ankle to keep her balance or the fact that James Potter didn't trust her.
"What? You think I'd actually tell someone? Do you think I want to see you in Azkaban or...or whatever it is that they do with underage wizards?" Lily said the anger and hurt boiling away inside of her.
"No! No that's not
what I-!"
"Well I should bloody well hope not Potter!" Lily
said storming back towards the tent, ignoring the pain in her ankle,
"This is exactly why we'd never wo-!" Before Lily could finish,
James grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him.
"Get off me Potter!"
Lily yelled struggling against him but with another quick pull she
was pressed against his chest again, "Why can't you just leave me
alone?"
"You know why Lily," James said, his eyes
smouldering. Lily's heart thundered away in her chest; she liked it
when he looked at her like that, she liked it a lot.
James' hands lowered to her waist and he pressed her even tighter
to him. Within an instant all the anger that had built up inside of
her vanished without a trace.
"My ankle...hurts..." Lily mumbled subconsciously. James smiled and lifted her off of the ground so that she had to wrap her legs around him to keep herself up.
"Better?" He asked his voice still full of lust. Lily nodded; for some reason she couldn't bring herself to speak. She liked being up there; her eyes were level with his as she was held tightly in his grasp. It made her feel good being completely wrapped around is torso, a guilty pleasure, feeling the body heat radiate off of him....especially when his chest was bare. Much to her disappointment, James' eyes left hers and re-focussed on her lips. Her heart accelerated when he leaned in and her lips parted a little, ready for him...
"Put me down..." Lily breathed.
"W-what?" James asked, snapping out of his trace.
"I said put me down Potter," Lily said, her voice stronger this time. She was going to hate herself for doing it but she wouldn't allow herself to just give in like that. If she was going to be with James, she wanted to make sure that she wasn't going to get hurt by the end of it. It was all going too fast for her to make any assumptions. When James didn't respond Lily made her legs go limp and tried to wiggle out of his arms.
"Why are you doing this?" James said, his eyes trying to make contact with her but she was too afraid that she'd give in if she did, "You wanted this...you kissed me back-"
"Oh don't be so whiny Potter," Lily said, sliding off of him, "Did you expect it to be that easy? That I'd just fall into your arms after all these years? Knowing you you'd just shag me, get bored of me, ditch me and tell everyone how pathetic I am before you go on to claim your love to some other idiot. You're Mr Popular James Potter, you can have anyone you want and what you choose me? Do you have a bet with Black or something? Is that why you keep coming back? Well you can go tell 'the guys' that you totally snogged Lily Evans now can't you? You got what you wanted, are you going to leave me now? How do you ever expect me to want you with a past like ours? I just don't understand you; you change so much. How am I supposed to know whether you mean these things? I'm not going to just hand myself over to someone so...so complicated and bigheaded." She regretted it instantly when she saw the look on James' face; it looked as though she might as well have torn his heart out and stamped all over it.
"How can you say that to me when you know that I'm completely in love with you?" James said quietly, so quietly that it was almost a whisper. Lily froze, her heart accelerating more than ever.
"I...I thought..." She began but she couldn't find the words she was looking for, "D-do you mean that?" James nodded, his eyes focused on hers...
Penetrating...
Neither of them moved; all they could do was stare at each other in silence. Eventually James stepped forward, threading his fingers through hers, bending down to press soft kisses to her neck, making Lily shudder.
"Do you love me?" James whispered into her ear, his breath tickling her skin.
"I..." Lily began but James had resumed kissing her neck and she lost track of all of her thoughts, concentrating solely on the feel of his lips.
"I promise I will never, ever do anything to hurt you Lily," he whispered against her neck, "I've wanted this for a very, very long time..."
"I...I know..." Lily stammered back, chewing on her bottom lip as James' lips explored her throat and jaw line. Suddenly, from somewhere deep in the forest, there was a loud, beastly snarl, rolling through the trees like angry thunder and James and Lily pulled apart, staring wide eyed in the direction of the growl.
