*Warning! This is more mature. If you are not comfortable with it, don't read the black italicized words! Just read Logan's part and I will have a small summary in the end*
*For those who have already read it, please read the bottom! I added a new note.*
Logan woke up the next day, feeling refreshed and better than he had since that fateful day two months ago.
Opening his eye slowly, Logan looked over at Kendall's bed to see it was empty. Logan was surprised, he had not slept in past Kendall in years.
Logan looked to his alarm clock, surprised yet again to see it was ten am.
'Wow, I slept in for almost eleven hours.' Logan thought as he arose from bed, checking to see where everyone was.
Logan walked out to see the guys on the couch.
"Hey, Logan. Mamma Knight and Katie are having a girl's day and we have the day off, Gustavo just called us and told us."
"Glad, I didn't feel like singing today." Logan answered honestly as he got a bowl of cereal from the pantry and made himself a bowl of frosted flakes.
Logan ate quickly, watching what they were watching from the kitchen table. Carlos must have control of the TV for a re-run of "Scooby Doo" was on the TV.
Once Logan finished, he said he would be in his room if they needed him. Not unusual since Logan didn't watch a lot of TV unless it was a documentary or a game on.
Logan sat down on the bed, remembering what his task was yesterday and how he had to finish the CD's today, no excuses.
He put in the headphones, starting the CD player as he just stared into his room.
As soon as Danielle's voice filled Logan's ears, a small smile came onto his face. He knew it shouldn't have made him smile, conserding the circumstances of these CD's. But these CD's had almost become a drug for him. Listening to Danielle's voice again brought a high that no drug could give him, and he enjoyed it. He just wished he didn't have to hear his friends sinful nature to hear her voice.
Trying to block out his own thoughts, Logan listened in again.
Number six already? Practically half way there already. Hasn't it been a fun ride so far?
Logan didn't like the cruel tone in Danielle's voice, but listened anyway, needing to know if it was his time yet.
Bet your wondering who the next person is. Well lady's and gentleman; let me introduce the leader himself.
Tall, blonde and eye brows, my brother, Kendall Knight.
Bet your squirming now, Kendall. Bet you didn't think you would be so soon, after all what you did was not forgivable by any degree. If I was going on level of hurt and betrayal and legalness, well you would be number thirteen.
But like I said earlier, these CD's go in chronological order. The things people did to me vary in level of seriousness.
But, Kendal honey, yours has to be one of the worst.
Now, let me explain myself more. As you all should know, Kendall Knight and I are brother and sister, and if you didn't know that then wow, your dumber than I thought. And yes, this is directed to a few of you but I can't saw who yet, your time to shine hasn't come just yet.
Anyway, Kendall is my technical older brother, being a year older than me.
Being older, is that why you thought you could take advantage of me Kendall? Knowing I was smaller and younger you thought you could dominate me.
For the first time since these CD's began, Danielle sounded really hurt and unsure if she should even share this story. Logan listened more intently, since she had paused and it was completely silent. Then, Logan heard a soft sob.
She was crying, what had Kendall done that was so bad? He seemed like brother of the year to Danielle and Katie. What could he have done?
After a few minutes, Danielle's voice returned.
Did you think you I could become your bitch?
Logan was surprised to hear this, what the heck could Kendall have done?
Now, I know Kendall knows what I am talking about. It's the only terrible thing he has done to me to maybe earn a spot on here.
But he does deserve a spot, more than most people on here.
It was around a week after my whole thing with Jo when I was alone in the apartment with Kendall. James and Carlos went to see a movie that Kendall and I had no intrest in, Logan had a date with Camille, and Mama Knight and Katie were shopping for back to school and would be gone for hours.
I was watching TV, but couldn't find anything quite interesting on so I decided to see what Kendall was doing.
After all, we always had a blast together. Too bad this time made me hate you.
So I went into his room, seeing him on his bed reading a hockey magazine. I sat down next to him, him sitting up to see what exact issue it was.
It was that months, but that doesn't matter. It just shows you how much I remember about this night, even though I wish I could erase it from my mind.
Anyway I asked you if it was an interesting issue, and any new tips for the ice. I played hockey with them after all, and had always loved the sport.
Kendall nodded his head no. "It's everything I already know." Kendall told me before he put down the magazine. "But I know something we could do that would be more fun." He said with a small smirk.
Before I knew it, he had my wrists in his large hands and had me flat against his bed, my head on his pillow as he smirked at me.
Foolish me, I thought he was wrestling with me. We did it often, sure not on his bed but we always played wrestled.
Guess you could say we wrestled that night, but not in the way I had wanted.
I struggled against him, knowing he would loosen his grip like he always did. But not this time.
Instead he smirked in my face, his grip tightening as he did.
"Kendall" I spoke "You're hurting me."
"Good." Kendall whispered, "This way people will know your mine." He whispered before kissing me.
Nope don't rewind, I spoke correctly. My brother by adoption, but had long ago practically become my blood brother kissed me, and not in a brotherly way either.
As he kissed me, I did the normal reaction, and tried to get the heck out of there. I struggled against him, trying desperately to break free of the vice he had on my wrist. I kicked at him, screaming into his mouth.
He just used that to his advantage and stuck his tongue in my mouth. His dirty disgusting tongue darted in my mouth, trying to find any weak spot to make me moan.
I never gave him the pleasure, even when he found the spots. What, I'm human? I have weak spots that pleasure me, but no way was I going to give him the satisfaction in knowing he found them.
After a minute of me being unresponsive, Kendall broke away from me and loosened his grip slightly.
"Kiss back, damnit." He whispered yelled.
"No." I yelled back.
"I said kiss back." Kendall yelled, letting go of one of my wrists as he slapped me.
"And I said no." I yelled back as I punched him in the nose, well more of pushed him away with a lot of force.
Good thing I had grown up being best friends with guys, because I know I had hurt him. He yelped in pain and sat up, his hands going to his nose instantly.
This was my chance, and I ran away from him. I had made it to the door before he was up and placing his disgusting arms around my waist, squeezing tight.
"You're not going anywhere, bitch. Your mine tonight." Kendall yelled in my face before placing a hand on my ribs and pushing down with a force that it hurt.
He repeatedly hit me and pushed down on my ribs until small bruises started showing up. It hurt for weeks after, but I could never tell anyone of the pain because Kendall had done it in a place that was hidden to the world.
Of course, something he knew.
But the bruises don't matter compared to what happened next.
After hitting me and feeling like I had learned my lesson, Kendall began to remove my shirt. I struggled against him, but he just ripped my shirt in half and threw it on the floor. He hit me again before removing my bra.
As Kendall looked at me, I had never felt more violated. Sure, guys have checked me out before (I'm not that ugly) and I know they had stared at my chest before. But only one other guy had seen me naked before Kendall.
Oops, did I reveal I wasn't a virgin before Kendall? That's right Kendall, if you wanted my virginity you didn't get it. That was long gone. I won't say who because none of you deserve to know. Unlike Kendall, this guy and I did it because we both liked it each other.
But back to Kendall's story. Kendall just stared at my breast for a few minutes, what felt like hours, his greedy tongue licking his disgusting lips a few times before he looked into my eyes.
Kendall's usually gentle green eyes were blown wide open, showing almost no green and only his iris as the lust had taken over his entire body.
This no longer was the Kendall I had known my entire life, no an animal had replaced him. A hungry animal.
A smirk returned to Kendall's lips as he touched my chest, trying to gaze my response. I just stared at him, giving him no satisfaction in what I was feeling. Which was absolute horror and disgust. My body could not register any pleasure because of the circumstance, this was NEVER supposed to happen.
My body was supposed to be mine and shared with people I loved whom were not family, instead you took it Kendall. You made me feel dirty, even when I just wanted this to end.
It did end quickly, luckily for me. He took off my pants and underwear and fingered me, while jacking himself off as he watched me.
I don't know what pleasure you got out of it, I just sobbed the entire time. I had given up by that time, knowing fighting was useless even though all I wanted to do was fight back, I had no strength to physically do anything, except cry and periodically scream for someone to help. Problem, no one was home.
So I did something I've never done before, I gave up. I usually try and fight, but not this time.
I allowed you to rape me Kendall, only because I knew fighting back was pointless.
That's right folks. Kendall Knight, the born leader, kind, sweet, compassionate, older brother of Katie and I raped me. And not just once, multiple times.
Now, why would I let him? Easy, it made me feel wanted.
I know it sounds sick and twisted, because it is sick and twisted. I felt wanted by my brother when he was raping me.
But I would like to clear something up, yes I felt wanted but I never felt pleasure from him raping me. No, that sickened me while he was doing it to me. It was before he did something that made me feel wanted, because he was willing to break the rules to be with me.
But after and during I felt disgusted. Disgusted that he was doing it to me and disgusted that I had originally felt wanted because of it. Every time being erased when he was about to start.
Want to know the truth though? I was just an easy fuck for him because Jo wasn't giving him any. She was a virgin and I guess raping your girlfriend is bad.
But raping your sister is okay.
Logan stopped the CD, not able to listen anymore. An acid taste came into his mouth, meaning he needed to throw up. He swallowed the feeling, swigging some water from a water bottle he had in his room.
Danielle was raped? By Kendall? Her freaking brother! How had Logan not known this?
Anger boiled in Logan, anger that had started since this tape. Someone not only Logan trusted but Danielle as well had violated the one he loved.
Logan knew listening to the CD would only make him more pissed, but he also knew he had to finish the CD, having a feeling there was more.
Maybe I should finish the whole story. So this began after around six months after we got here and it continued for around a year.
Yes, people, a year my brother raped me and nobody was the wiser. I was his bitch for a whole freaking year and no one knew. Sure, we never mentioned it but didn't anyone notice that I was acting different?
That I never wanted to be near Kendall anymore? If we were watching a movie I put as much space between us as possible, or if we were playing hockey I refused to give him the puck. Even if it cost us the game, which it did a few times.
Did anyone even notice me at all?
For the second time on this CD, Danielle broke down in tears. Logan's heart ached, he had notice all of it but never thought a second thought about it. He just thought she never noticed he was open, it was hard on the ice people missed obvious shots all of the time. As for the movie or anything else, he always sat next to her and just never questioned it. He liked being next to her after all.
Logan listened until Danielle was able to control herself again.
No, noticing me was too much effort on your guys part wasn't?
Anyway, as I mentioned earlier. Kendall raped me for a year before one day he stopped. He just never asked for it and I never asked why. We pretended it never happened and I was fine with that.
Why Kendall stopped, well I have no clue. Ask him if you have enough balls to. But I do have a few theories.
Maybe he gained a conscience and felt guilty. But after a year of him raping and abusing me, that's probably not it.
The theory I think it right is that after more than a year, Jo finally gave herself to you and you had someone you could fuck without it being morally wrong.
You two were dating after all.
I also need to clear one more thing up. The actual definition of rape is "the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse."
If you want to count sexual intercourse as him actual thrusting his penis into my vagina, well then technically he only raped me for around six months.
It was only fingering, blow jobs and hand jobs before that.
Any way you look at it though, it's sick, disgusting and wrong. Oh, and illegal.
I told you one, three, and six could be in prison if I pressed charges. Oh, and a few other numbers but let's wait to hear what they did before you understand why they should be in prison.
There you go guys. I was raped, by my own brother, for a whole year and nobody knew.
That's why, older brother, your number six. You fucked me up, are you happy now? I'm glad I wasn't a virgin when you did it to me, for at least I can say my virginity wasn't taken from my own brother.
But you are on here for breaking me down even more than I was. You actually broke me the most, for obvious reasons. You took my innocence away, Kendall. Are you happy?
You should be number thirteen, but the reality is that you're not the reason why I killed myself. No, but you helped solidify my action. Yes, you guys know with Carlos' CD I started to think of it as an option. But every time I did I pushed the thought away, not thinking I was ever going to solidify the desire to actual kill myself.
But thanks to you Kendall I was beginning to actual think seriously of it. Now the seriously but enough to actually contemplate it.
You're just the jackass who took what was left of my innocence and broke me and any other relationship I could have ever had. Because of you, I pushed away my one person who could have saved me because I felt to dirty to be near that person
Great job, big brother.
With that, the CD ended.
Anger raced through Logan's body as he stood up from his bed. He ran out of his room seeing Kendall and the rest of the guys on the couch. Mama Knight and Katie were gone, not something Logan noticed though as he glared at Kendall.
"You raped her." Logan whispered, his voice betraying him at the moment.
"Wha-what?" Kendall questioned, his eyes blown wide open as he looked to the guys and then Logan again.
"You fucking raped her! Your own sister." Logan yelled, gaining his voice again.
"Logan, it's not what it seems like." Kendall began.
"Oh what, she lied and you didn't end up raping her?" Logan questioned.
"No, I did, but-"
"But what! She trusted you! In the end, when the world breaks you down your supposed to have family. What did she have? An adopted mother who killed who her own parents and a brother, who is also one of her best friends, whom rapes her when he fucking feels like it!" Logan yelled, his hands balling up into fists now.
"You don't understand. I- I-I" Kendall sputtered out as he walked to Logan, unsure what to say. Anyone else on the tape either pretended Kendall never did it or they talked about it reasonably, no one had yelled at Kendall yet. After all, they were all on the tape for a reason who could not judge him in the end.
"I understand full well. There's nothing to explain, you raped your sister. But why?" Logan questioned.
"I needed to get off." Kendall muttered.
"Oh, you needed to get off? At the cost of your sisters innocence? Was it worth it?" Logan asked, his voice trailing off at the end.
"No." Kendall replied honestly. "She is dead because of me."
"Your right, I don't know who number thirteen is. But there is no way they can be worse than what you did." Logan spoke, knowing it cut through Kendall like a knife. Like Danielle's words had when she told of what Kendall did to her. "But I want to know, why did you stop? Was she right and Jo started giving you some?"
"No, I felt guilty after a while." Kendall muttered.
"A year too late." Logan whispered before punching Kendall in the nose, right where Danielle had hit him the first time.
Kendall went for his nose as blood started flowing from it.
"What the hell man?" Kendall yelled.
"You deserved it, jackass rapist." Logan spat before heading for his room.
Heading for his backpack again he quickly stuck in the rest of the CD's and CD player before packing an extra change of clothes and PJ's. He headed to the bathroom to grab his tooth brush before surfacing again in the living room where the guys still were. Carlos and James stared at Logan with wide eyes while Kendall had a towel wrapped around ice on his nose.
"I'll be back tomorrow. I need to finish these tapes in peace." Logan muttered to the guys in there.
"Logan, man, don't be reckless." Carlos said to Logan.
"Why do you care? You helped with Danielle's death as well! I bet James even helped. I'm leaving, no changing my mind."
"You got the tapes as well, meaning you're a reason why she is dead, not just us." Kendall muttered.
"Don't remind me." Logan whispered as tears threatened to escape his brown eyes before closing the door. Heading for anywhere but 2J.
****Summary and stuff like that!*****
Summary of this chapter in case you chose not to read it! Kendall is number six. He is on because he raped Danielle for a year, resulting in her losing what was left of her innocence and not being able to get closer to the person who could have saved her. Logan called out Kendall for it and punched him in the nose before leaving the apartment with a backpack full of stuff and CD's and CD player.
Now onto the actual chapter and what I have to say. I have to admit it, it crushed me writing this. I started and stopped so many times, not being able to finish. I feel so disgusting writing Kendall like this!
But for those who have read the book/any of other fanfic of 13 reasons why, you often see a rape scene in it because it adds a great amount of drama and I had to add it. When I was thinking of everyone's reason, for some odd reason this is the one I wanted to give Kendall.
So please do not kill me! It was painful to write it, believe me. (Also, it may be a few days before I update. I'm going to be busy for most of tomorrow and with church it's hard to update. SO I posted twice today!)
Comment? Rate? Don't kill me?
**Added since I origanlly posted. Okay, is this too much? Because I have received no reviews, but my views have gone up so I know people are reading it.
If it's too much, please tell me! I can try and change it, if needs be?**
Peace, Love emoprinces16 –Danielle-
