Chapter 7
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
Excuse my errors.
There were many things Hinata despised about Hyuuga household. The undue branching of the family into main and side wings being one; the unvoiced slavery that came with the lower status of the branch members and the ease with which they fit into the said role as if responding to some inbuilt command being second. She hated how the maids came with their signature gossipiness and liked to indulge in idle chit-chat that molded the truth into something unrecognizable even when Hyuugas were not known for their chattiness, subtlety being something of foreign worlds.
Sometimes, Hinata wished shoji doors were made of thicker stuff.
"... involved with another woman and have a child on the way."
"How horrible! Is that why he disappeared suddenly? Poor thing, that girl. She deserves better than that."
"That's what happens when you trust a snake."
She curled into herself and buried her face in the pillow to drown out their voices, letting a wet patch bloom beneath her cheek. A silent pray left her lips for his wellbeing and safe return and for these false rumors to just stop because her husband was an honorable man and above those disgusting labels they associated with him. She breathed a relieved sigh when it grew quiet on the other side of the door and the women carried themselves away on poorly hushed feet. Perhaps this was their way of getting back to her for all the trouble she put them through just to drag her out for a meal when food was the last thing on her mind. She knew this wasn't the last she heard of them. They'd return with spicier tales to tell.
Her bed had become her sanctuary as of late and it was an almost impossibility to drag her out of it but she was begrudgingly made to abandon her covers when Hanabi's loud voice demanded an entry followed by loud banging that pounded heavily against her skull. The Hyuuga heiress eyed her from head to toe when the parted door revealed the Uchiha female in her disheveled glory but decided to not comment on her messy hair and swollen eyes and simply invited herself in with a tray of food accompanying her. Despite her knotted bowels, Hinata stuffed her face with a couple of spoonful of rice and washed it down with some water. A thought halted her next bite mid-air - she wondered if Sasuke was eating right or if he still had enough rations to prepare himself a sizeable meal or if he was still in a condition to make himself something; healthy and on his feet and not injured and blee-
She dashed towards the bathroom as the line of thinking brought the rice back up her throat, her sister hot on her trail. She chocked on the bile dribbling down her chin and brought her sleeve up to press against her face, turned to her to voice her questions but finding her throat close up again, this time, with tears. "W-why won't anyone tell me anything? Where is he, Hanabi? Why can't Naruto-kun find him? "
She wished she could tell them all 'told you so', that she was right to worry whenever he left for missions despite everyone telling her not to; that they were wrong to say 'hey, it's Sasuke we're talking about. Since when does he ever mess up?'; that it was unrealistic of them to blur the boundaries of his limitations; that it was one thing to have faith in someone, it was entirely another to think them God.
But she couldn't when it was her world being ripped apart.
Two weeks. That's how long he had been missing, when the last mission he left for didn't require more than a couple days. Search parties had been dispatched, one personally led by Naruto, but no luck so far.
Just when things were starting to look up for them. They were getting there where they wanted to be, slowly but surely. He had been so happy lately, healthy, content even with a single meal daily that they got to share together with the time that they could manage because of her job, a few hours of sleep in the warmth of her embrace, his tiny corner of the garden that he had dedicated to growing herbs for their tea doing well under his care. It swelled her heart with happiness and love for him when she heard him hum her tone in the mornings while he prepared breakfast in the kitchen, his playful teasing that was becoming his favorite pastime, his easy smiles and unbashful laughter that came to him effortlessly now... How would she be able to go about her life without these thing in it? Without him in it?
She'd take her life, no matter how shameful an act it was. She doubted she could take another heartbreak at the hand of someone she loved.
"I don't know. I visited hokage-sama today. They're still looking for him, you know how Naruto nii-chan is. He won't rest until he finds him."
Her words eventually calmed her down and she followed her sister to the Hyuuga gardens but was made to retreat to the safety of her room at the pitying gazes directed at her. She waited the bright yellow of the afternoon sunlight pouring through the slit in her window shutter to turn caramel and for all the pearlescent eyes to close for a nap before she set off for her little home in the hills.
She loved how the sinking sun lit their home aglow, caressing its wooden walls with its golden fingertips, kissing its floors, bathing the entire place in a soothing warmth. It was borderline torturous how his presence still lingered even with him gone, how he still walked the hallways in the creaking wood beneath her feet. The air that carried his scent got stuck in her throat and her grip on the door frame was the only thing keeping her from crashing hard on her knees. A soaked sob escaped her cracked lips when she crawled to their worn out kotatsu, slipping her weak legs beneath it, missing his strength to carry her through the day.
She didn't know when or how she fell asleep but the next she awoke, he was there looking down on her with tired eyes. She blinked several times to tell real apart from dream but when she did, she was smothering him in her tight embrace, arms hanging by his neck in a choking noose, wailing and kissing his face as if he would disappear again any moment. She made him promise repeatedly about never leaving her again and confessed her love over and over and over that it brought even him to tears. He struggled with words of his own but her declarations left him tongue tied so he carried her to their room where he'd give his love for her a physical form.
.
.
.
Her shyness seemed to return inside their room and soon she was trembling under his shaky fingertips, him fighting demons of his own. He loved loving her but it was in moments like these, when they were together that he thought that perhaps he should turn away lest he ruined her too. He could taint her, maybe, may be not but maybe; and he couldn't take that chance, that one 'maybe' when she stared so trustingly back at him.
It was in moments like these, when she saw the turmoil in his eyes with her brilliant ones that she brought his face close to her lips to blow at it once and clear that cloud of doubt from his mind that was quickly taking over and he'd resume pulling at her obi with care that people practiced with their most prized possessions; as if pulling a flower apart to reach its treasured center. Her heart fluttered under his touch like a bird and she grabbed onto his shoulders for leverage when her kimono pooled at their feet, warm against their toes like the temple's marble steps under their naked feet after a long day in the sun. He was never impatient with her, always steering their love making on her terms even with every voice inside him told him otherwise. But could he justify it if it turned into something selfish? Then it would be another round of meaningless sex, wouldn't it? Love was more than just the name of a physical practice. It took all of your selflessness, your respect and your patience to truly love someone.
And Sasuke was never known for doing half assed job.
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Tayyabalaraib
