Hey guys! Its me! Yes I know, its been more than 17 days since my last update and there is no excuse for my laziness..=( and aside from my little trip down the lazy lane, I was also caught up with one more amazing story to add to my list..i don't really know if I should mention it here, if you guys are interested you can check out my page, its under the movie transformers haaha=)

First of all a big XOXO to the following:

HeraOfTheStars, Heathermay22, amroberts17, moonliteserenade, Stephanie, moodbeam, PureAngelEyes, and to trekki'nthrough and to everyone who alerted, favorited and reviewed this story.

I went into panic mode a few days back actually when I forgot my password into ff and I couldn't get in, I had to reset my password twice haha stupid me! But alls well, if there is any consolation I may update longer than most writers but im not planning to put this story on hiatus. (no offense to those who put their on hiatus..haha), but i just have a lot of idea on this story and even I don't know how to put them in written word. Just give me time 'kay?=)

So for those who are still into this story….enjoy! =)

p.s I don't own anything. I wish I do, but I don't. =(

-chapter8-

Wheeling her to the direction of the medical bay, McCoy tried to start a conversation with Selena. It was clear she was traumatized by the events, but what and how would be questions he would have to put on hold until she was ready to talk. She needs to get it out of her system, or she will never be able to complete her own report on the assignment. He feared that if she failed, the federation might classify her as emotionally compromised and might remove her from service until further notice. That is something McCoy would not allow. He saw the damaging effects that decision might cause on the poor girl. For someone who has given their life in the service and just to be put on hold because she was not able to get through her emotions about the assignment might be detrimental to her career in the federation. On worse cases, they might ask her to quit from the service.

After asking her to sit on one of the medical beds, McCoy immediately made a work on inspecting the wounds and bruises on Selene's face and hands. There might be more on were he could not see, but he might as well pay more attention to the more serious wounds, that may pose more damage if not treated right away.

Administering pain relievers and antibiotics, McCoy took a good look at the cuts on her wrists. The mechanic had met them upon entry to the bay, and he made a good and quick job of removing the cuffs. After cleaning, McCoy applied antiseptics and ointment on her wounds and did a quick work on getting it bandage to hasten the healing process. Using his hand held x-ray gun, he tried to asses Selene's internals for any injury that might need immediate attention. Silently thanking god, McCoy gave Selene medications to counteract the infection, if there are any that she might have contacted while on the planet.

"Isabel, I need you to talk." McCoy asked, letting out a heavy sigh looking Selene in the eye.

"I'm fine Doctor McCoy. Thank you for treating me." Selene responded, devoid of any emotion.

"No, you're not. I need you to talk. Heck! I need to throw something, mess up my bay..I'll have Luster clean it up later.. Right now, I need you talk. Get it out of your system Isabel." McCoy ordered, he was not usually one to deal with emotional incapacities, but right now he just could not bear to look at the girl. She was trying to bottle everything in.

"Where's Bradd?" Selene asked,

"uh..He's in the other room getting treated and assessed. You should really think of yourself now Isabel." McCoy answered, perplexed as to why she would ask the whereabouts of his medical officer.

"No." Selene replied barely above a whisper, but he caught it.

"No?" McCoy tried to get her to talk, at least she's talking now.

"No. It's because I've been thinking all about myself that they're dead."

"Who's dead?" McCoy asked, he already knew the answer.

"Pederson and Scott." Selene whispered. Even mentioning there names brought a wave of nausea and Selene had to jump from the bed and ran to the nearest sink, heaving whatever contents left on her stomach.

McCoy ran to her side and pulled her hair away from her face. Leading her back to the bed, McCoy tried to clarify whatever it is she was trying to say.

"The security officers?"

Selena nodded in response, she remembered their faces, remembered how Scott kicked Huson off of her and how Pederson tired to keep her on wall, when he clearly should've saved himself first. But they were gone now, and there is no one to blame but her.

"Isabel listen to me, they died in the service of the federation. They knew what they were signing up for. Don't blame you self for their deaths."

As soon as the words left McCoy mouth, another wave of nausea hit her and she ran back to the sink, this time pain shooting across her abdomen. Feeling the urge to gag but nothing would come out. Tears prickled her eyes, he was wrong. She knew when she was at fault and she would accept their blame openly.

James entered the medical bay, massaging his temples. His head ache is getting worse. Work was hell. He had already reported back to the federation, and to say they weren't pleased and perplexed at the same time confused James even more. The federation did admit on wanting a station at the planet, but was perplexed that it was ordered this soon. This thought brought anger to James; he just lost two of his men, and now an Ambassadress who might possibly go on shock and the response he got after his report was that they'll look into it. He loves his job, but there are days were he wished he could just walk right up to the admirals and tell them to shove their egos up their asses. This day was an example to that. How could they just randomly give out an order without proper endorsement was beyond him, but this is just proof that someone up there was clearly lacking behind on their job.

Another report to make, James thought.

He was never one to respect the so-called Seniority in the program, some were more intent on rubbing it on some juniors faces, even some admirals still practice that. He was just not into that kind of tradition. He gave respect when needed and that is why he earned so much respect and popularity within and outside his starship. He treated everybody equally, referred to them formally when on work, and hang out with them, devoid of any rank or position when outside work. Hence, why he was never bothered with the thought that he might be offending an admiral, reporting that some one from the council is obviously not doing their job.

Pike would have supported him on this, that guy was like a father to him on many different occasions.

Another pain shot through his temple and scanned the bay to find Bones. Seeing sudden movement on his peripheral, he whipped his head to find Selene hunched over to the sink, heaving. Bones behind her, trying to hold her hair up.

Immediately walking to her side, James watched as Bones assisted her back on the bed, her wrists now fully bandaged, her wounds clean and her face cleaned from the dirt and dust. He could clearly make out the bruise on her left cheek, where the bastard slap her, and James clenched his fist at the thought.

"I should've ran faster..." Selena whispered, she was staring at the floor, her face held no expression her eyes glassy seeming to be recalling some distant memory,

"Ensign?" McCoy asked,

"I should've negotiated better...I never should've spat in his face.. " Selena continued, oblivious to her audience.

"Selena, look at me." James commanded holding her face between his hands, looking directly into her green watery eyes.

"I should've climbed that wall...I should've..." Selene could not even form words coherently, every scene on the arena replaying on her head. No matter what angle she looked at it, it was her fault through and through.

"Selena, listen to me. Don't blame yourself for something that is not your fault to begin with." James tried to reason with her, bending on his knees to try be on eye level with her.

Selena pulled herself from her trance. The one voice her mind would only seem to listen to. James.

Her eyes found his and for a moment she thought everything that happened a few days was only a dream, until she finally noticed the cuts and bruises on his face, that she came to a realization that she could never change what happened. Trying to blink her tears, but feeling the huge lump on her throat, Selene cried into James chest. Wrapping her arms tightly around his torso, like she was holding on for her life, she cried. She cried for everything, for the things she did, things she should have done and for her actions that caused the death of Pederson and Scott.

"Shhh. Its okay sweetheart." James cooed, he held her tightly. Feeling the same loss he felt for his crew who got perished on the arena. He felt her whole body shake, as she cried her heart out. Not caring that McCoy was watching, James held Selene longer. He knew what she felt. He saw others who had gone through the same path after coming from their first assignment. He hope she was strong enough to over come this, emotional incapacitation is not something one would want on their records.

McCoy watched in awe, as the exchange between the two continued. Something was at work, and neither had any idea what was slowly transpiring between. At this moment, McCoy knew that whatever happened and will happen, will only strengthen their bond.

Swallowing the lump on her throat, clearing her head. Feeling a lot better after arriving at the starship earlier, Selena finally unwound her arms around his torso. Noticing the damage she made on his uniform, she muttered a sorry and quietly thanked him for allowing her to cry on him. Turning her attention to Doctor McCoy, she them gave her thanks for his assistance and quietly tried to stand up.

"Isabel, I need you to take a warm shower, change into some comfortable clothes and get some rest. I have already ordered a complete crew rest of nine hours for the team. You're expected tomorrow at 0900h." McCoy explained and Selena nodded in understanding and exiting the bay heading off to the female quarters.

"She's a wreck, Jim." McCoy finally stated after making sure Selena was out of earshot.

"I know. I never should have brought her in the first place." James answered,

"Well, what did you expect? It was her first assignment for Christ's sake. It was bound to happen." McCoy stated,

"She was not prepared; I never should have forced her to go." James reasoned, he saw how wrecked she was, and he had himself to blame.

"She was prepared Jim, you'd think starfleet would give her to us if she wasn't good?, and besides that negotiation was a failure form the beginning. You know Pasil would never negotiate with the federation." McCoy reasoned back, "and don't give me that crap of blaming yourself fiasco, we've got her to take care off." McCoy added.

Going over the supplies the cabinet and getting a few stitch kits and some anesthetic, McCoy went to work on James' wounds.

"I mean it Jim. Get your head in the game, she needs you. And I need you to be there for her. Try to cut on the flirting for a while and actually be there for her." McCoy instructed, looking James directly in the eye, hoping he'd get the message that he was serious.

"I know." nodding in response to Bones, and God knows he needed some one to talk to too.

"And, I'll give you the same advice I gave her. Stock up on the strength, we have a big day tomorrow." McCoy ended their conversation, cleaning up his supplies.

James sat a little longer on the bed, not moving. Collecting his thoughts and regrouping himself. He knows the council will be furious of the result of the negotiation, and he will not allow them to belittle his crew. He would defend them if necessary.

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Selene stood in the middle of a desert. Wind picking up speed. Sand and dirt surrounding her. Looking around her, she could not find one single life form with her.

She was alone.

Walking the endless sea of sand, Selene tried to gauge her odds of surviving alone. As if on instinct, Selene reached into her pocket looking for her glass pad, coming up empty, panic slowly creped into her system. How as she suppose to survive in this situation? Why was she here in the first place?

Continuing her walk towards nowhere, Selene thought she heard faint voice in the wind. A male voice calling out to her.

"Ensign!"

Selene whipped her head, searching for the source of the voice. As it got louder and louder, goose bumps travelled on her skin. Squinting her eyes she saw a silhouette, of what looked like a man running towards her. As it got closer, she realized it was some one from the federation, the same red uniform he wore, relief flooded her system, when she noticed he was waving frantically at her, and her brows furrowed in confusion on what it was he was trying to say.

When all of a sudden he bellowed, seeming like he was yelling at from a foot distance. His voice deep and clear.

"Keep moving Ensign!"

At this the ground started to shake. Selene couldn't help the bile that rose in her throat. She thought she had escaped this ordeal, but it was obvious it still wasn't over. The sand on her feet started to part, as she realized she had to keep moving.

Quickly avoiding the lump on the sand, Selene made a quick dash towards the officer, trying to catch up to him. As she got closer, she recognized the face almost instantly.

Scott!

As soon as realization hit, horror rushed through her, when another voice joined in. Slowing her pace, she tried to decipher what the other voice was trying to say. This could not be happening! They were dead! Trying to shake her head to rid herself of the memories, Selene stopped dead in her tracks, trying to locate the voice.

"You'll have to Selene! Or you'll never get out!"

She instantly knew who the other voice belonged to. Turning back around to find Scott, her breath caught in her throat when she found him and Pederson standing in front her. Their uniform was torn and their face bloodied. Anger was not evident on their faces, but a friendly smile and soft look in their eyes told her they held no grudge.

"There was nothing you could have done." as Pederson smiled as they slowly disappeared into the wind, like dust and sand.

Bolting up in bed, Selene tried to catch her breath. Her fore head lined with sweat, her hair in tangles from sleeping on it wet. Panting, Selene couldn't help the tears that flowed. Her dreams had been vivid. She remembered each one. Each one different but so similar at the same time. Sometimes they were horrifying that she had force herself to wake and other times it was forgiving and kind. She never slept for more than 2 hours, sleep will never come to her tonight.

Deciding better than to go back to sleep, Selene stood dragging herself to the ladies' lavatory; splashing water on her face she decided better to go and find something to eat. Her stomach had been complaining all evening after her horrendous display back the medical bay. And you made a mess of the Captain's shirt!, blushing at the memory.

James tossed and turned in his own bed. The Captain's chamber were located far from everyone else's. His room was closer to the bridge than he would have liked. Of course this would mean easy access for the crew and bad for him. Since his arrival in the starship, he has done nothing but bury his head in truck loads of paper work. His report was quickly responded by the federation, and his duties as Captain on the ship itself was not easy to ignore. His little excursion on Pasil a few days back, caused quite a lot of delay on his pending paper work even before he decided to jump on the first mission since the beaming of the two new ensigns.

Ensigns.

This thought has brought him another wave of insomnia. After her display of, rather , series of emotions back at the medical bay he was not even sure she was still stable yet to go back to regular work. Her refusal to open up whatever pent up emotional dilemma she had acquired while on Pasil should have to be put on hold. It is part of her duty as an Ambassadress to relay those incidents on their flight log, Captain's log and in their Archives' Centre, and this he feared would bring another fresh set of tears from the girl.

It was 0400H, deciding that sleep will not come to him tonight, he jumped out of bed and putting on his boots and a ratty v-neck white shirt. James quickly made a route towards the mess hall.

Entering the quiet mess hall, he noticed the galley lights turned on. Must be Maria working on some delicious breakfast. Morning meals were usually served between 0700H-0900H, since morning shifts usually start at 0600H, and the crew then are still too lazy to wake up early and get breakfast, and would most likely opt for a late morning meal during their breaks between the said time.

Walking directly to the direction of the galley, James spotted Selena, working her way around the kitchen. Noticing the rather large long sleeved shirt she wore that fell off on her one shoulder and the black shorts she was wearing her hair tied in a messy bun, he assumed she also had a rough night. She still hadn't noticed him enter, as he walked to her side peaking from her shoulder, noticing a bottle of peanut butter and jelly.

"PB and J huh? nice choice." James commented, earning a not so lady like yelp from Selene.

"Do you always have knack for scaring people?" Selene retorted, holding her hand on her chest. She was maneuvering a knife for Christ' sake!

"Nope, only you." James whispered,

Cue awkward silence, Selene thought. Why does he always have to do that?

Moving to the other side to be a little farther from James, Selene continued to finish her sandwich. She was planning to make only for herself before James showed up.

"I'm assuming you want one?" Selene asked James, peaking at him from under her lashes.

James eagerly nodded in response smiling. He was glad she was finally talking again, He guess Bones was right. She just needed to get it out of her system. Although Bones did warn him about cutting on the flirting, he admitted that he just couldn't help himself when he's around her. Or women!, James scoffed at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Selena asked, getting a pan from one of the drawers and heating it.

"Nothing." as he continued to watch Selene maneuver her way around the kitchen. She looks adorable when nervous, he could tell. She kept moving around, pretending to be busy when all she had to do was wait for the pan to heat enough so that she could toast the sandwich on them.

"Are you nervous about something?" James asked,

"No." blush creeping into her cheeks.

"You're not a very good liar, you know." James stated matter-of-factly.

"So I've been told." letting out defeated sigh. Sure she'd heard that line before from her grandfather. He did do a little snooping around on her files while she still at the academy, and that got her wondering if he is did still the snooping around until now.

"By who?"

"My grandfather." James nodded, so she was close with her grandfather.

On cue Selena, placed the two sandwiches on the pan and heated both sides until their a little crisp. Handing James his piece, Selena bit into her own loving how it was crisp out and gooey on the inside.

"This is good stuff Selena. Though, you didn't have to heat it anymore. I would have settled for a normal PB and J." James said,

"I know. I just wanted to make you wait a little longer." Selena answered, couldn't help but smirk. She loves taunting him just like back at the cell, her smile slowly fading remembering the events that followed.

"Hey, you alright?" noticing the sudden shift in her mood.

"Yeah." she whispered, biting into the last bits of her sandwich.

"Look Selena, I know you're blaming yourself for the deaths of Pederson and Scott. Don't be. " James stated, this earned a surprised look from her. He was standing in front of her now pressed against the stainless counter. There was no way she could escape this conversation.

"I really don't want to talk about it" Selene countered, trying to push past James but he wouldn't move.

"No. I want you to talk about it." James stood his ground, she was not going to escape this, and she will not go back to blaming herself. After the progress she had made yesterday, he will not allow her guilt to eat her up.

"That's an order." James voice was low, and soft. He didn't want to scare her; he wanted her to confide in him.

Selene couldn't stop as her vision became blurry, tears prickled her eyes again. She was independent.

IS independent.

Se never needed someone to 'talk' her feelings to. She has always been fine on her own. She never bothered anyone and no one bothered her. Except.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Selene continued to stare at the floor. He just knew how to get passed her, and it angered her and surprised her at the same time. He can read her like an open book, and for God's sake she just arrived not a week ago!

"There was nothing neither you nor I could have done. Things happened for a reason Selene. "James added,

Selene knew he was right. There was nothing they could have done. Even going back in time and try to change things will not help. Selene cried. She cried for the families of the officers who would receive the news.

"Its going to be alright."

"I know." for the first time in the last 24 hours since arriving, James felt relief flood his system. She was finally accepting what happened. James couldn't help but smile at her, her head still hanging low, her eyes downcast.

Wiping her tears, she was glad she resisted the urge to lean on him again and ruin another one of his shirts. She was slowly trying to accept that their death meant something. They died trying to save her, and she was not going to let their deaths go in vain. There is reason she was alive and she would make damn sure their names will not be forgotten. The world doesn't revolve around her, and she realized she was still thinking about herself until now, it was about time to change that. Raising her head she looked right into James.

He saw the hint of fire back in her eyes. Finally she was starting to accept the events that would forever change her. Pederson and Scott were one of his best officers on board but he would never trade them for her, even if he sounded like an asshole. There was something about this girl that he would admit got him hooked. She was not most girls. She never threw herself at him, never attempted anything beyond the boundaries of work, never tried to impress him with her snarky attitude, but still despite all she got him hooked. And he still won't admit.

"Guess I better start working on those reports huh?" Selene commented snickering, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah..and I need you there with me when the Federation calls." James added, snickering himself.

God! why does she have to be so adorable!

James was less than a foot from her, she was trapped between him and the stainless counter and it was causing crazy things to his body. Her left shoulder exposed through the too-big shirt she wore, her creamy flawless skin peaking. As he traced the exposed skin from her shoulder, to her long slender neck, James stared into those green pools. Her red puffy eyes held a slight tint of humor, her nose red from all the crying. She never looked more beautiful.

Biting her lip feeling the butterflies in her stomach in frenzy, Selene tried to hold on the counter behind her to keep herself from jumping James right there. You really are insane Selena! Last minute your grieving and now your thinking about kissing the living daylights out of the Captain!

He was close, too close for her and she couldn't help the crazy sensations she was feeling. God how she wanted him, but her mind was screaming how inappropriate this is.

James lost all his sense as soon as he saw her bite her lower lip out of habit in nervousness. He watched different emotions pass through her face but he only caught one. No matter how she tried to deny it, he saw it and it was the only one he can see in her eyes right now.

Want.

She also wanted this, him. Replaying the last time they almost kissed and the very publicized argument after, James could not care less. He would gladly fight with her every time, after every single time they kissed. He slowly leaned, gauging her reaction. He was so close now his nose touching hers, when her eyes fluttered closed and he knew she was not stopping this.

He slowly closed the gap between them and her lips are not like anything he has ever tasted. His mind didn't do her lips any justice. The kiss started out as sweet, he nibbled on her lower lip, tracing the outline of her lips with his tongue for permission. Gasping at the sensation he was creating not only to her lips, he pounced on the chance to delve his tongue into her hot mouth. Deepening the kiss, James had his hand on the back of her neck. She tasted sweet with a hint of peanut butter and something he came to call as Selena. Just like the scent of her that seems to cloud his mind and throw all logical thinking out the window. The best part of it all, was she was kissing him right back.

Bones will kill me for this!, remembering McCoy warning him about cutting back on the flirting. Not if Nyota will get to you first!

She couldn't stop her self. He just tasted so good and damn her but he was a very good kisser! The kiss was starting to become hot and needy their tongues battling for dominance and she wanted more. Her hands finding a permanent place at the back of his neck, playing with the soft hair there. His one hand at the back of her neck and the other hand holding her firmly to him by the waist, when a moan escaped her.

This is the only signal James needed, as he slowly release his hold on her neck and both his hands found their way on her buttocks, lifting her onto the stainless counter. Her legs wrapping instantly around him. So absorbed their own little world of lips, tongues and hands, they were jolted back into reality when a throat cleared gaining their attention.

Still wrapped in each other, they slowly turned their head towards Maria who was standing in the doorway. And she was not very happy.

"I really hate to break this little affair of yours, but I do have a whole starship to feed." Maria stated, staring at James and then glared at Selena.

Heat quickly rose to her cheeks, and Selene had to slide down from the counter, hiding behind James. How long was she standing? How much did she see?

Touching her lips, she could still feel the tingling sensation left by kissing James. Instead of regret, Selene couldn't help the goofy smile that is now plastered in her face. They kissed! And if her memory was correct, he liked it too. Still holding his hand, Selene tried to wriggle free. The next thing she needs is for the whole ship to know what happened.

His grip on her hand tightened as soon as he realized what she was trying to do. She was not going anywhere. And he intended to finish whatever it is they started.

"You, leave us. You clean this up." Maria commanded, pointing first to Selena then to James. Maria would have laughed at James expression; he was like a kid who just found out Santa didn't exist. But irritation was becoming her primary mood this morning, and they'd better separate or hell would pay.

Slowly slipping out behind James, Selena made her way around pass him towards Maria, who seems to make it her new hobby to stare her down. Without noticing that James still hadn't let go of her hand, she was jerked back. Pulling her hand from his, she continued her way out the galley.

As soon as she was out of earshot, cleaners, dishwashers and cooks filed into the galley. Maria still had her attention towards James. She maybe over 50 but she could still pack a good punch or two. James fidgeted; he knew how Maria can be when angry, as he tried to clean up whatever mess, he and Selena made earlier. Putting the butter knife into the sink, James tried to return the bottles of peanut butter and jelly back into the pantry.

"Maria - " James was cut off when Maria raised her hand to silenced him.

Maria continued with her work around the kitchen purposely ignoring James, "I thought I made myself clear when I said not to bring your whores in my kithcen."

"I kno-"

"But you still did."

"Look, she's different."

"Hmm..? Shockingly your into dark heads now." Maria countered, she personally like James. The boy was just too charming for his own good, and he did know how to appreciate good food. She saw him as the son she never had, of course she gave up her life in the service of the federation.

"I'm sorry. I promise it will never happen again...or uh..it will never happen again in here..hows that sound?" James asked smiling,

Maria only stared, "C'mon mama?" James resorted into calling her the nickname he gave her. She did act like their mother on this ship sometimes. Too may raging hormones for my liking, she mused at one point.

Maria stood their, how could she resist this boy and those blue orbs?, he was using his charms again and he was even calling her the endearment he himself invented, which is what the rest of the crew are now adopting.

Letting out a loud sigh she asked, "And how long might this beauty last in your radar?"

"Trust me, when I say its going to be for a very long time." James answered smiling, he felt like a schoolboy saying that, who just found out his crush also had a crush on him too.

"ha! Trust! Try telling that to half of the female population of this ship!" Maria laughed, waving a wooden spoon she held for effect.

"Love you and your secret stash of peanut butter and jelly!" James said, as he jogged his way out of the galley.

"Hey! Those were mine!" Maria tried to yell back, but James was already out of the galley, turning back around she noticed that everyone was staring at her. "What the hell are you looking at? Back to work! and not a word of this understood?"

Selena continued to make her way out of the crowded mess hall, when she heard a familiar voice call out to her. Turning around she saw Mike weaving his way through towards her.

"Hey, I heard about what happened yesterday. So sorry I wasn't there with you. I was attending to Bradd." Mike explained,

"Its ok I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Rio has been calling me nonstop, she's worried sick about you." his face lined with concern.

"Yeah I'm alright. I'm actually feeling a lot better now." Selena answered, giving a small smile to Mike.

"Ok. C'mere." Mike said, gesturing for her to come closer, opening his arms and giving her a hug.

"Thanks Mike."

"Anytime. Gotta eat, apparently everybody is nervous about the call today. Better be prepared." Mike said walking away, as Selene continued to make her way back to her quarters to get ready for the long day ahead. Long day indeed.

James stood there watching the exchange between Selena and that ensign. Luster. He remembered that name. He thought she said they were not together?, when his vein almost popped out of his head, when he saw him pull Selena for hug. That's when he lost it. Quickly avoiding the pair, James made his way down the hall on the other side. He was going to avoid her, no matter how immature that decision sounded. He thought they had a connection, he felt it and it scared him at first but he took the chance, and now he knows it was only one sided.

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So tell me again Captain Kirk, how did you manage to get two of your best security officers killed when you clearly stated in your decitation that your team had clearly expressed peaceful negotiations with the Emperor of Pasil?" Berns Hackh, Cheif of Staff; Starfleet command has been grilling the team for almost two hours now. He was already getting into James' nerves.

Pinching the bridge of his nose to try and rein in his mood, James tried to answer the question again. He was not in his cheerful moods today, maybe because of the endless back and fort questioning, but he knew it was because of what he witnessed earlier in the mess hall.

Glancing to his left, he saw Selena shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She was bored and tired; standing for two hours, James could only imagine the pain she was in.

Pfft.

Completely zoning out from the investigation, James continued replayed the scene in his head. He must've done something wrong? Did he say something to offend her? Did Maria scare her? –

"Captain, are you listening?" Hackh asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Every one on the bridge slowly turned to James.

"uh..um..The death of my security officers were not in vain Admiral. They did it to save the Ambassadress. The negotiation was a fail from the beginning, the Emperor refuses to hear what we had to say, He then went ballistic after seeing our emblem. He ordered our deaths soon after finding out we were from the federation." James answered seating a lot straighter on his seat.

"So that's why you ended up killing him?" the Admiral asked,

"Killed who?, Admiral."

"The Emperor. Were you not aware of his death Captain?" the Admiral clarified, his temper slowly rising.

"I recall pushing him off of me out of self defense Admiral, but-"

"Well, let me inform you Captain, that the Emperor is dead. Eaten by his own pet." Admiral interjected,

"My condolences to the citizens of- "

"Your condolences were neither needed nor demanded, Kirk." James was slowly gettign tired of this Admiral cuttong him off.

Glaring at the screen before him. James could only hope this investigation would end soon and fast, or he would snap.

"So I was informed you had an Ambassadress with you on this assignment?" Hackh inquired his tome eerily calm. James visibly stiffened at the mention of Selena. Even after what he saw earlier at the mess hall, he was not going to allow some wannabe Admiral to humiliate her in front of the entire bridge.

"I am Admiral." Selena answered, noticing James to be a little out of himself lately. How can he afford day dream at a time like this was beyond her.

"Step forward please."

"Ensign Selena - "

"Ensign?"

"Y..yes Admiral." Selena stuttered, already sensing the barrage of questions and sarcastic remarks to follow.

"Do you know how gravely important it is for an Ensign to complete their first assignment?, Do you have any idea the effect this negotiation had on the federation?" Selene tried to open her mouth again but was cut off,

"The allies the federation has on the galaxy are already talking about it; if one does not agree with the federation, they get terminated. Do know what kind of effect that has on us? Ensign?" Hackh just rambled on,

"Admiral, I think I have clearly stated in my decitation, the negotiation was a fail from the beginning. The Emperor refuses any settlement with the federation. Any further contact would have resulted in more casualities." James stood up from his seat. He was clearly not enjoying the route the investigation has taken and he will end it now.

"Yes, and it was also clearly depicted in your decitation how this Ensign clearly manages to get herself into trouble, resulting in the death of your security officers. Am I correct?"

"Permission to speak Admiral, but the actions of Ensign Isabel were justifiable. Judging by the current state she was in when she arrived back after the assignment. She was also badly wounded mentally and physically. A result that would also mean she had to fight for herself and for her team. Blaming her for the death of Pederson ad Scott would be futile." Spock was now one who answered, defending his own ship. There was just something off about this admiral, and he was not liking it.

An admiral should have approached the subject with clear sound judgment on the matter, he should have listened to both sides of the story before making any final conclusion, but here he is pointing fingers on the crew who almost lost a Captain and an Ambassadress. The death of Pederson and Scott, as horrible it is to even think about it, was a small price to pay to keep James and Selena alive.

"Ensign who?" the admiral asked as he visibly paled, glancing down into his own padd. It couldn't be!

"Ensign Selena Isabel 025231-8, admiral." Selena answered for him, please don't make the connection. Just don't make the connection. Selena chanted in her head. The last thing she needs is for Admiral Hackh to grill her more because of her grandfather. That, and she wasn't prepared to make that kind of announcement to her Captain either.

"Y..yes. It would seem there is more to you Ensign. But still, the death of two federation crew members will not be taken lightly. I will be putting this ship and your crew Kirk, under full review." Hackh ended the conversation.

James noticed the sudden change in the Admiral. He was visibly a little pale, and was quick about his decision. He was even surprised that was all they got.

A full review of the ship? His day might be turning out better than he expected. But then, he would have to call Admiral Pike for the back-up. He also needed to report about the discrepancy in the endorsements of the assignments. Taking a quick glance at Spock, he also noted he was sporting the same perplexed expression with one of his eyebrows raised. What did the Admiral mean about Selena?

"Pardon me Admiral, but one failed assignment does not mean were incompetent - "

"Period. And I do not recall granting you permission to speak in the first place Commander Spock." Hackh answered, as the line went dead and the screen turned back inot a full view of the galaxy.

Selena let out a gush of breath. That was one confrontation she would love to not have again. Walking towards James, Selena had to be cautious. He was a ticking time bomb after that interrogation, everyone in the ship knew how he was when not in the mood.

"Ensign, can I talk to you?" James turned, facing Selena gesturing towards the conference room.

Selena nodded, surprised.

Ensign?, since when did James bother with formalities?. He never called her ensign since she arrived in the ship and the cold blank stare he gave her..what was that suppose to mean?

Selene was confused as hell. And that kiss! How can someone not warn her how good that kiss felt. Did she say something wrong? Was she not that good of a kisser? Did he finally realize what she has been trying to tell him? , Not now, after realizing she liked him-

Gasping, Selena couldn't believe the thought that occurred to her. She liked him. The egotistic, conceited, cunning, funny, gorgeous James T. Kirk.

Pausing before following James out the bridge, Selene tried to lean on the railing that separated the Captain's seat from the helmsman.

I couldn't!

Taking a deep slow breathe, Selene tried to regroup her thoughts. How did this happen without her knowing?

"Selena?" Nyota broke into her thoughts, "I think the Captain wanted to talk to you in private."

"Oh. yeah." Selena answered, walking out the bridge. Of course she couldn't let the bridge know about it. Not Nyota. The girl would surely rip her to shreds. She might think Selena was her using her to get to James.

Walking into the conference room, Selena stopped dead seeing James pace around. His face lined with confusion and what looked like his in.. Pain?

" Selena, I wanted to talk to you about - "

"The kiss. I know. It was a mistake. You don't have to explain anything."

James stood, mouth hanging open. What was she trying to say?,Tthe kiss was not a mistake. They both wanted it. Or did she? He as hell wanted it. And God! just being in the same room with her arouse feelings in him that he thought he could control, when he was any other girl. But not her. Of course not her. She was not like any other girl.

Because she is the only girl who managed to beat you in your own game!

Momentarily closing his eyes to refocus his thoughts, his eyes became cold as he stared Selena down. Remembering what he saw at the mess hall, after he thought she had left.

"I did not ask you to be here to talk about trivial matters Isabel. I wanted to remind you about your report on the assignment. I do not allow laziness within this ship. You were expected to submit that report within 24hours upon arrival back from the assignment as any other crew," glancing at his wrist watch he added, "and you have 4 hours left until that deadline."

Selene's blush could rival the uniform she was wearing. How can he just dismiss their kiss like it never happened? It a damn good kiss, and if he didn't enjoy it, she sure was hell she did. Staring at him, his hands clasped behind his back, his stance tall and proud, staring at her with those blue eyes, she had to resist the urge to jump him.

"Did you hear me Ensign?" James asked he needed to get far away from her as possible, being this close to her was doing crazy things to his body that he doesn't think he can hold any longer.

Selena nodded, her mind not on what James was talking about. Tension was thick, she could feel it and she was sure he could feel it too. He was trying to avoid the topic that she knew well was the reason he called her in the first place. and just like a light bulb illuminating atop Selena's head, she realized that if he wanted to talk to her about that damn report he could have just easily reminded her at the hallway, not in here alone.

Raising her chin and returning the stare that he gave her earlier, Selena noticed the internal battle James was having against himself. If he was chicken shit to approach the subject than fine, but she wasn't. She wanted him and she damn well knew he wanted her.

"Why?"

That question caught James off guard, he knew what Selena was talking about. He knew it was a stupid attempt at trying to divert the subject about her report. She as smart, he'd give her that. He saw the look of determination in her eyes when he raised her head to look at him directly in the eye and he would be a god damn liar if he wouldn't admit it turned him on more. How badly he wanted her up against that door and have his way with her!

Looking back at her, he realized she as still waiting for an answer.

"You wanna know why I don't want to talk about ou-, the kiss?"

"Yes, why?"

"Why don't you go and ask your boyfriend." he could almost hear Nyota, Chekov and Sulu laughing at him. He sounded like a little girl!

"What are you talking about?" Selena asked, confusion evident on her face.

"You know who I'm talking about. That medical officer working under Bones. I saw you two at the mess hall."

And just like that, the pieces of the kiddie puzzle fell into place. Selena almost said it out loud that he sounded like a little girl, complaining what should have been his. He was an adult for Christ's sake! A little competition won't hurt him-

"Wait! Are you jealous?"

"What? Me? No of course not!" James answered faking his laugh, too fake bro!

"I can't believe it. You're jealous of Mike?"

"I'm not jealous. Oh and it's Mike now huh?"

"Mike's not in love with me, his in love with Rio."

"Who?"

"Rio. He's been buying for her ever since were cadets."

And just like that James remembered the 'Selene-up-on-the-wall' scene wasn't such a bad idea after all-

"Clearly the kiss was a mistake."

James could almost hear the background music suddenly halt to a dead silence.

Wait! What?

"What?" repeating what his incoherent horny brain was thinking.

"Look, clearly the kiss thing was a mistake Lets just forget about it and pretend that it never happened." Selena suggested, she just couldn't take any more humiliation. He was obviously not into her and she would just have to save her self from further embarrassing her self. She should have stopped herself, but how could she? It was too late now, way too late. His lips are nothing like she have expected, and his tongue! Someone with that kind of talent should not be allowed to roam free, thinking of his tongue was triggering the crazy butterflies in her tummy to go nuts again.

"Fine." James gave in, clearly seeing the pained look on Selene's face. She clearly regretted and James had to blame himself for that.

"Good." Selena had to swallow the lump on her thought. God! How it hurts to be right, she half expected him to at least give a good ass argument but to her utter surprise he just agreed. Guess, she was right all along.

Walking past Selena out the conference room, James had to entertain one feeling he was failing to rein in. His need to run from her. She clearly didn't' want him as badly as he wanted her and he was not going to humiliate them both any further.

Leaning against one of the walls on the hallway, James had to clear his head, but could he when he was still sexually aroused from his encounter with a certain dark head beauty, even if it was just a talk he couldn't help himself. And now that he had tasted her, he only wanted more. More of her. Thinking of burying his self in work to try to distract himself, he straightened up and headed straight back towards the bridge.

"Hey Captain Kirk!"

"Hi Doctor Cheryl." James greeted back, facing the blonde doctor from the research department. But then again, he could always welcome any form of distraction.

"uh, Doctor may I just ask what time do you get off work?"

"I just got off work now, why?" the doctor's eyes' sparkle would rival that of a nearby star, of course she knew that when it comes to James Kirk she was always available.

"I need you to assist me with something." James had to force a smile, anything to get his mind of a certain Ambassadress.

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Ok so James is clearly a douche in the last part of this chap but what the heck! Its all part of the story.. I may have also created another character that is clearly not part of the original star trek cast *hint*hint.. ehe I hope I don't make any star trek fans angry..

So what do you guys say I upgrade this to an m-rating ey?=)

But no sex scenes, I don't think im talented enough to write one, an m-rating just so I could stuff that is clearly not allowable with a t-rating hehe

So far this has been my longest chapter to date! I was actually a little nervous about putting this up because of the whole kiss scene, as I have clearly stated Im not a good writer when it comes to the sexual stuff but lemme know what you think. Love love to all.. xoxox

Till chap9.=)