A/N: Ok, so this should be pretty interesting… Read. Enjoy. Review…

Starlight

Chapter Eight – Truth From Lies

I got to the guest house and Jasper was sitting across from Nahuel at the kitchen table. It looked to me like they were having a staring contest, but I knew Jasper better than that. He was trying to get him to crack, I chuckled a little, for all Jasper's big talk he was softer than me sometimes. I walked into the kitchen casually and opened the fridge, getting the poor kid a glass of water. I slid it across the table to him, I had done a little research and according to internet rumors, which I decided to trust more, they could eat both human and vampire food.

"Good cop, Bad cop routine?" Nahuel asked, sipping the water, I really had to give those rumors more credit, "Because the NCIS guys do it much better."

"Shut up," said Jasper and I chuckled.

"It's just our normal temperaments," I said, chuckling slightly, "You hungry?"

"No," He said, and I grabbed a bag of chips from the counter behind us for him, "Here, they're sealed, not that we'd be the ones to hurt you, you need to eat something."

"What're you my doctor?"

"No, but I am a doctor."

He just rolled his eyes as he opened the bag.

"And you two left the girls alone, what if I have people coming?" he asked and I growled, standing up, and snapping the table like a toothpick.

"He's bluffing," said Jasper, as he tossed the pieces aside, "Alice'll be delighted though, she'll get to pick out a new table… Nahuel, it's not a good idea to threaten the girls, ok? Carlisle's a little protective, which is understandable in this case. Besides, Alice is more than capable of protecting them both."

Nahuel looked mortified, I guess I had looked like the weaker one. I looked a little sheepish, I hated it when I lost control like that. I really couldn't have helped it. I also hated blaming any lapses in my control to my vampirism. It wasn't an excuse for me, it could be for some, but I refused to let that be my excuse. However, this kid should've known better than make a comment like that. I ran my hand through my hair and looked back at Nahuel.

"Why'd you lie, Nahuel?" I asked politely, taking advantage of him thinking I was a violent person.

"I was nervous," He replied, and Jasper let out an exasperated sigh.

"We had just rescued you from the water," said Jasper, I could see the anger accumulating in his eyes, "If we had wanted you dead you would have been."

"I wasn't thinking straight," Nahuel tried to justify it, and I held a finger up as Jasper opened his mouth.

"What happened to your mother?" I asked, I knew I sounded distant, but I didn't care.

I needed to know. I needed to know all the exact details of how Bella would die. I needed to know how horrible and painful it would be. I needed to know so that I could restrain myself. I had come so close to giving in to her so many times. I needed to know. I also needed to know if it wasn't Nahuel's fault, and if we could handle having a kid without putting Bella into danger. All he had said was that she died during child birth. A hundred and fifty years ago a woman dying in child birth was a common occurrence. I needed to know all the details.

"Excuse me?" Nahuel asked, looking at Jasper, trying to get out of explaining.

"Tell him," said Jasper, seeing my point via reading my emotions.

"Well from what my Aunt had told me," said Nahuel, taking a deep sigh as a pause, "She was obsessed with my father, who's name she didn't even know. She got pregnant with me. My Aunt said she died when I came out."

"Came out?" I prompted, couldn't he tell that was the part I needed to know?

"Well yeah, I didn't exactly come out the – traditional – way," said Nahuel and I nodded, it only made sense. An extremely guilty looking face replaced Nahuel's nonchalant one that he had been using all evening, "I ate my way out of the womb. I ate through her."

I was instantly guilty, poor kid, I felt bad for him. I put my face in my hands while Jasper dealt with Nahuel.

"You can stay in the guest room," said Jasper and Nahuel looked at him curiously as I let my hands fall.

"You have a guest room in your guest house?" Nahuel asked and Jasper nodded.

"It's down that hall to the left," said Jasper, pointing him in the right direction as I tried not to think about Bella bleeding out as our child ate their way out of her.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Nahuel asked, looking at me, "Is she pregnant or something."

"No, thank god," I said, standing up.

I tried not to think of how many times I had been so close to giving into her. I'm sure I looked like I was going to be sick, I felt like I was going to. Thankfully Nahuel saw the look on my face and left the room. I turned around and supported myself on the counter, pressing my hands into it, just enough so that it wouldn't break anything.

"You ok?" Jasper asked, sensing that I wasn't, but I nodded.

"Fine," I said, straightening out, "I'd better get back though, see you in the morning."

"Yeah," said Jasper, still watching me carefully, "See ya."

I ran about as fast as I could back to the house and walked in as unnoticeably as I could. I stopped in the doorway to the kitchen. Alice must have known I was there, but she didn't ruin it for me as I admired my love from afar. I couldn't help the instant wave of guilt as I watched her sitting at the table. She was sitting with her back to me, and sipping a cup of tea that Alice had no doubt made for her. Alice gave me a questioning look, she knew that I wouldn't tell her what happened, she could get it from Jasper. I gave her a weak smile.

"Hey, babe," I said, rather quietly as I went up behind Bella, placing my hands tentatively on her shoulders.

"Sweetie," she said excitedly as she stood up, and threw her arms around my neck.

I was taken a little off guard and didn't kiss her back as enthusiastically as I usually would have when she pressed her lips to mine. It was like now that I knew what was going to happen if I did give in, I was afraid of not only what would happen, but Bella herself. I didn't want to tell her what would happen, I never wanted to scare her, but I knew I eventually would have to. Just not yet, we were too happy, and I didn't want to ruin it.

"You ok?" She asked as she held me tight, her head placed carefully on my chest.

"Ok," I said, and she smiled, her eyes sliding closed as I gently massaged her back, "Are you tired, babe?"

"A little," she replied and I smiled as I lifted her up, bid good night to Alice and brought Bella into the bedroom.

I tucked her exhausted form into the bed, and kissed her forehead lightly before I laid down beside her. I stayed on top of the covers, and watched her sleep with one of my arms around her. I found myself keeping her at a certain distance, but I couldn't bring myself to bring her closer, to cuddle her like I usually did. I just kept watching her chest rise and fall until I just couldn't take it anymore.

I very silently got off the bed and went out for a hunt, trying to keep my mind on anything else. This wasn't something I could handle. I could try my hardest to protect her from anyone and everyone else, but could I really protect her from me? Could I really do that, I had no way of deciding how I could. Any time I was with her I was in danger of losing it and doing as she asked of me for months now. Alice and Jasper would join my side now, but there was only so much they could do, only so much I could do.

I got back to the house and I heard Bella's still rhythmic heart beat, which told me she was still sleeping, and I lounged on the couch. I grabbed book on my way to the couch, but I wasn't in the mood to read. I ended up just staring at the ceiling, my logic being that if I let it all consume me now, I would be ok during the day with Bella. She hadn't noticed anything yet, and maybe if I could manage to not let her see it would all be ok. I was stupidly optimistic.

Bella came out of her room in the very early that morning and I didn't move. For some reason now that I knew that I absolutely couldn't sleep with her, I wanted to more than ever before. She came over and started to rub my shoulders lightly, kissing the side of my neck as I was about to jump out of my skin.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" I asked, trying to seem comfortable as I sat up, and she sat in my lap.

"I would have slept better if somebody hadn't decided to sleep on the couch," she said, leaning her head against my neck.

"I'm sorry," I said, timidly kissing the thin layer of skin over her carotid artery, "What would you like to do today?"

I prayed that she didn't want to go to the beach again today.

"How about a hike?" She asked and I nodded, standing up to avoid another one of her so sensual kisses.

"Ok," I said, almost jittery, "I'll go pack, ok, Love?"

"Are you ok, Carlisle?" Bella asked, watching me carefully as I went into the kitchen.

"I'll be fine, babe," I said, mentally adding as long as you are.

It wasn't long until we were out in the jungle with Alice and Jasper, I had privately asked them to come along as chaperones. Nahuel came too, and he kept a weary eye ahead, he was deliberately trying not to look at any of us. I held Bella's hand in mine as we walked, kissing it occasionally, I could tell she was confused about the distance I was trying to place between us.

"Carlisle," Alice nearly screamed at me as Bella went to fill up her water bottle in a stream that we came across, "You need to tell her."

"For what reason?" I asked, "So she'll finally come to her senses and be afraid of me?"

"She won't be afraid," said Alice, "She'll want to help you, she'll make it easier on you. She'll understand, Carlisle. Maybe you two can figure it out together."

"All wishful thinking," I said, I hadn't made up my mind yet, "You're blind here, Alice."

"I know," she said, "But I'm not completely blind, I know Bella.

"I do too," I said.

" Your logic is clouded by your feelings," said Jasper and Nahuel looked over at us curiously, "You love her too much, and therefore you want to protect her. But you can't protect her from everything all at once, Carlisle. Right now she's upset because of how weird your being."

"Better upset then dead," I said and Jasper rolled his eyes.

"You can't get her pregnant by what you guys have already been doing," said Jasper, "She's used to all the little kisses and not being more than a few inches from you, you can't just stop acting in love with her with no explanation."

"I'm doing the best I can, Jasper," I replied in little more than a growl.

"We know you are, Carlisle," said Alice, trying to calm me down, but Jasper didn't dare try and send me the waves.

"I can't tell her," I said.

"Can't tell me what?" said Bella, as she walked back over to the group, "Carlisle."

"It's unimportant."

"Alice and Jasper don't think so," said Bella.

"I don't think so either," Nahuel said and I could have killed him for the look Bella gave me.

"He knows?!" Bella said angrily at me, and Jasper and Alice exchanged frightful looks.

"We'll – uh – give you two a minute," said Alice and she dragged Jasper and Nahuel off down the trail until they were out of hearing range.

"Bella…" I said as she crossed her arms, waiting for my explanation, and I just overcame with nervousness, I couldn't say anything.

"Carlisle," said Bella, seeing the pain on my face her expression softened, "Are you going to tell me what's up with you now?"

"Yes."